Oh my Thoth!

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 23 Sep 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Tor	23 Sep 2002
Hi all! Just want to tell you what happened when I got my new Thoth. I did a reading with it first to see what it would bring me (posted on your readings) and the cards II Priestess, 2 of coins Change and 9 of swords Cruelty came up. I didn't like the last one, but still decided to give it a chance. So I cleaned it through some incense and laid it under my pillow. I had a normal, confusing dream... But then today I did my first standard reading with it, using the 15 cards spread that was in the booklet. I asked the deck to give me deeper answers than I've had with Rider Waite, and I was so amazed when all the cards were turned. It was so clear to me.....for the first time I almost didn't use any books. I just saw my whole story. The priestess came up as a karmic card again (had it before when a woman did a reading for me with that deck), and the outcome was again 9 of swords, but with positive surrounding cards. The alternative outcome was to escape from the whole painful prosess. So I laid down on my sofa and started thinking, and suddenly I was filled with pain and sorrow......just like the cards had said. I was freezing, took a shower twice and had so much pain in my chest. I thought of my childhood, my past......and noticed the sorrow I've tried to keep in (also as the cards said). Then I went to bed and stayed there for some hours, just trying to find a solution to my problems. Through the process I thought that I in the future I should do anything for free and be a humble, loving person - but the pain didn't stop then either. Finally I found my energy, and was angry of my silly thoughts. I've tried to do charity work before, but was so sick. I thought - no! - I'm gonna be myself! Unresponsible at times, self-sentered and pricing myself what I'm worth! I'll still be kind and loving......can't change that. :) But I'm gonna stay a bit egoistic, and live my destiny out and fullfill the divine plan God has for me. I think Thoth, who wanted a 9 of swords relationship, is a deck for painful but true insights - at least for me. It went deep and touched the very core in my soul. Now I'm putting it aside, and will use it with care later. Maybe when I feel for a change... Or a contact with my Priestess. Can't always carry the nine of swords...... :)

Moongold	23 Sep 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Balder Can't always carry the nine of swords...... :) Yay....Balder! I read somewhere . Maybe the deck was simply acknowledging the pain. Whatever your experience has been you certainly offer a lot to others just by virtue of who you are! Thanks for that. Maybe the Thoth was just acknowledging the wisdom that sometimes comes from pain. The wisdom doesn't stand still. I'd be curious to see what your next reading is like. Can I quote something from the Tao which we were discussing in Chat yesterday: Knowing others is intelligence; Knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; Mastering yourself is true power. Blessings, Moongold

Thirteen	24 Sep 2002
Awesome story. Quote: I think Thoth, who wanted a 9 of swords relationship, is a deck for painful but true insights - at least for me. Also, I think, a deck to make folk focus on themselves, as you have. There are decks that tend to take you're gaze outside of yourself, to look at the world. But I've always felt Thoth to be, well, a deck that favored selfishness and ego and self-centeredness--how not with Crowley as one of its creators? ;) We're taught that these are bad things, but you can't reject the ego, self-centerness, if you're going to explore certain things. Especially the self. Sometimes, it's good to have a deck that urges you to think only of yourself.

The Oh my Thoth! thread was originally posted on 23 Sep 2002 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.