What's important for a tarot reader - traits, manner, appearance?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 05 Nov 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Demonesse	05 Nov 2002
This is actually composed of 3 questions: 1. What qualities, traits or characteristics do you think is important for a tarot reader in both an unpaid and paid reading? 2. What sort of behaviour/manner/mannerisms should be 'projected' towards the querent, especially in a paid reading? 3. How would you advise a tarot reader to dress/look for the occasion? I feel one's overall appearance would create a strong first impression (especially to a client or someone you don't really know well), but that's just my guess. Lastly, should I split this up into 3 different threads??? *** Note: I differentiate between paid and unpaid readings because I assume here in an unpaid reading that you are reading for someone you're probably close enough to be casual and friendly with; where the questions above would not matter as much.

Violet Gargoyle	05 Nov 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Demonesse This is actually composed of 3 questions: 1. What qualities, traits or characteristics do you think is important for a tarot reader in both an unpaid and paid reading? 2. What sort of behaviour/manner/mannerisms should be 'projected' towards the querent, especially in a paid reading? 3. How would you advise a tarot reader to dress/look for the occasion? I feel one's overall appearance would create a strong first impression to a client, but that's just my guess. Lastly, should I split this up into 3 different threads??? 1) Empathy- The ability to listen as well as talk. 2) Understanding and Stability. It makes your message better listened to when you are interested in their opinion as well as present yourself as yourself, with the least amount of drama as possible so that you are not mistaken for playing a "role" for yourself instead of using the Tarot to help them. 3) Well there I am at a disadvantage to a degree, I only read for people who already know me, never paid, and they already know my (lack of) fashion sense. (Think Daria with a pack of cards) :)

Umbrae	05 Nov 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Violet Gargoyle 1) Empathy- The ability to listen as well as talk. 2) Understanding and Stability. It makes your message better listened to when you are interested in their opinion as well as present yourself as yourself, with the least amount of drama as possible so that you are not mistaken for playing a "role" for yourself instead of using the Tarot to help them. 3. Dress normal. Dress like a Lawyer - Doctor -Teacher - Accountant - Physical Therapist, in casual mode. Stay away from the Goth - Witchy - Pseudo-Gypsy garb. Stay away from dressing in pure black.

Thirteen	05 Nov 2002
Umbrae's right on, as usual. Though, be warned, if you're going to work for a metaphysical bookstore, they're likely to want you to dress up in that fashion. Frankly, I think it undermines being taken seriously. If you look like a normal person, they'll see the reading as "normal" as well. Also agree with Violet's comment about "Empathy" and will add the following: Good Characteristics for a tarot reader: (1) Be a good listener (2) Have a sense of humor (3) Be non-judgemental (not your job to moralize or judge)--and not easily shocked (people will tell you the darnest things about themselves!) (4) Nor easily offended (can't tell you how many boyfriends dragged by girlfriends sit down sullenly, skeptically, hostilely for a reading with that look in their eye, the "I-dare-you-to-make-me-believe-you're-for-real" expression--these need to roll right off you like water off a duck's back) (5) Be in control of the situation--you're doing the reading; you decide when it starts, when it ends, you keep it from getting out of hand, etc. Projected toward a querent: (1) That you're in control--in a good way. As if you're leading someone in a guided meditation. You're bringing them into your world, and you want them to feel safe, confident in your abilities. (2) That you're descreet, good with confidences and secrets. (3) That this is normal and good, not weird or "occultish." In other words, don't decorate the room oddly, use too many rituals or mannerisms--fragile confidence in tarot can too easily turn to fear of devil worship if you do something unfamiliar or strange in front of your querent. Know where they're coming from before you call quarters or wave wands. 4) That you're not going to rush the reading or querent. That the two of you will take your time and do this right. Mannerisms should be professional but friendly, mellow--just like you'd want any advisor, priest, doctor to be toward you. Voice quiet and clear. Surroundings comfortable, intimate. Offer them coffee, tea, cookies. Finally, learn how to shuffle. Really, really well. Nothing undercuts a reader than one that can't shuffle with confidence ;)

Umbrae	05 Nov 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Thirteen Finally, learn how to shuffle. Really, really well. Nothing undercuts a reader than one that can't shuffle with confidence ;) Oh yeah...buy a cheap deck you will never read with...Something that you hate. And use it to learn to shuffle. Spend days doing nothing but shuffling. If you have cards popping out of the deck or half the cards falling on the floor…you are done. Shuffle shuffle shuffle.

Demonesse	05 Nov 2002
Thanks for the advice, Thirteen! VERY enlightening. I have another question - how do you spread the damn things out so the querent can select a card easily? I can't set out 78 cards one by one...

Joywalker	05 Nov 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Umbrae Oh yeah...buy a cheap deck you will never read with...Something that you hate. And use it to learn to shuffle. Spend days doing nothing but shuffling. If you have cards popping out of the deck or half the cards falling on the floor…you are done. Shuffle shuffle shuffle. Umbrae, could you suggest some hands/fingers flexing exercise for I'm afraid that I might get cramps if I do nothing but shuffling all day. ;) Just to let you know, your post make me smile! :D

Alex	05 Nov 2002
some people will go for the cards that lie below the others, trying to get all the concealed ones. Others will get the superficial ones. Others will do a mix of two. Observe how they select the cards. How confident they are, how fearful, insecure etc. So if you don't see anything in the cards you can always say something that is true. And that helps them anyway. Quote: Originally posted by Demonesse I have another question - how do you spread the damn things out so the querent can select a card easily? I can't set out 78 cards one by one...

Diana	06 Nov 2002
edited

Thirteen	06 Nov 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Demonesse Thanks for the advice, Thirteen! VERY enlightening. I have another question - how do you spread the damn things out so the querent can select a card easily? I can't set out 78 cards one by one... Never had that problem m'self, as I never let anyone select cards. I have the querent shuffle till they feel ready, set the deck down, cut with left hand (or right if they're left-handed) just once, and then I take up the deck and lay out the cards from the top (and often one card off the bottom to see the "underlying" influence). No muss, no fuss.

All Is One	06 Nov 2002
Only read the last 10 or so posts...but I think the point is to establish a meaningful ritual: not a book ritual, but a prsonal one...and tweak it till it clicks with your OWN psyche ... therefore it will practically walk on water for the Q in your arena. I am no trickster and seldom read for others now. By choice. I did want to respond with one thing..if you ever find a special talent ...mine is palm reading...that allows up close , deep connection with the Q. I would use it before a reading- as intricately as needful, to connect with all the information and perceptions that your other senses will gather and bring you. Good question, it helped me connect.

truthsayer	06 Nov 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Demonesse This is actually composed of 3 questions: 1. What qualities, traits or characteristics do you think is important for a tarot reader in both an unpaid and paid reading? 2. What sort of behaviour/manner/mannerisms should be 'projected' towards the querent, especially in a paid reading? 3. How would you advise a tarot reader to dress/look for the occasion? I feel one's overall appearance would create a strong first impression (especially to a client or someone you don't really know well), but that's just my guess. 1. self confidence and humility not arrogance. empathy and ability to listen as well as verbalize. 2. being able to work with the cards with confidence. i only use spreads i'm extremely confident about and can read without consulting a chart on the spread. i use a 3 card spread or the celtic cross. i've been doing both so many years that they feel like a part of my psyche. stumbling over the significance of a card position doesn't help you inspire confidence in the querent and makes it easier to question your credibility. 3. something that makes you look like everyone else. in a professional setting, wear clothes that a professional would wear. there's a reason for that. would you feel confident of your MD if s/he showed up unbathed in overalls, stable boots, and a straw hat for your physical? or would you prefer someone bathed, neatly groomed in dress attire? i stopped seeing a doctor once b/c she always looked sloppy like she slept in what she wore to work. she also kept having to look things up in books. she was just beginning but i just couldn't relax enough to trust her. even if i question a professional's ability, appearance helps me feel more confident. **for me smells and sounds are important. i am sensitive to certain smells so i don't wear perfumes or burn incense. some querents have these sensitivities, too so ask instead of assuming it's okay. i hate trying to read for someone while sneezing thru watering eyes. **it's difficult for me to read in a noisy environment. if i don't have a choice i try to have some kind of mask sound like a white sound machine or very soft music. i prefer silence but silence bothers some ppl so i opt for soft music when i have to. **atmosphere: it's tempting to use candlelight to create a mood and often it's okay. however, it looks more professional to use regular lighting particularly if you have a difficult querent. a difficult querent would view the mood attempt as an affront on his/her ability to see thru a facade. a professional environment can give you an edge with certain ppl. it says in unstated terms that you take yourself seriously and this is not a game of hocus pocus to you.

dangerdork	06 Nov 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Umbrae 3. Dress normal. Dress like a Lawyer - Doctor -Teacher - Accountant - Physical Therapist, in casual mode. Stay away from the Goth - Witchy - Pseudo-Gypsy garb. Stay away from dressing in pure black. What if my "normal casual mode" IS pure black? LOL

Kiama	06 Nov 2002
- Friendly and easy to talk to: Can't have the querents being scared of you! Tarot reading shouldn't be a way to make you feel powerful over others, thus, no scaring please! (Unless it's Halloween. But that's different) - Non- judgemental... I know it was said previously, but I'm justadding another vote for this one! - Good sense of humour, ability to crack a joke every now and then in relation to the reading: I find that if you can do this, you appear more friendly and easy to talk to, and often you can drive home a difficult message sch as: You're far too controlling' in a more light-hearted manner, but the querent will always get the message! -Confidence. If you don't look as though you know what you're doing, the querent isn't gonna trut what you say. This is where Umbrae's shuffling thing comes in too. -Polite. Don't go shouting at people and using foul language in the middle of a reading, or walk away for a snack. Always make sure the querent is at home and comfortable, and never make them feel uncomfy through being impolite. 'Mind your manners young lady!' as my Mum always says. -NO FAKE ACCENTS! Unless you are doing Tarot as more of a humourous hting, but certainly not if you're giving readings in order to help people! - Comfortably. I cannot read properly unless I feel happy and comfy in what I am wearing. If I was to wear a ball gown for a reading, I would be more preoccupied with what the querent thought of my dress than what the wuerent wanted to know from the reading! Again, this rule is waived at Halloween and Christmas. Her,e Santa Suits and the Goth thing are just plain cool. - If it's for somebody I know really well, then they can damn well accept my reading whatver I'm wearing! (I have given a friend a reading when I was naked in the bath, wearing nothing but underwear, one in a swimsuit... }) Kiama

Thirteen	06 Nov 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Kiama [b- if it's for somebody i know really well, then they can damn well accept my reading whatver i'm wearing! (i have given a friend a reading when i was naked in the bath, wearing nothing but underwear, one in a swimsuit...kiama [/b] In the bath, huh? Well, that's one sure way to get a lot of clients.... Hmm. I see an internet site. "Naked Tarot Readers!" Hey, if you gave them a bad reading, who would notice?

Demonesse	06 Nov 2002
LOL Kiama and Thirteen! Hrmm - should you let the querent shuffle then? Would be easier than having to worry about the cards dropping - then one could just cut and spread them out after the querent's done..

Diana	06 Nov 2002
edited

dangerdork	06 Nov 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Diana I couldn't figure out at first how you could be naked and wear underwear at the same time, and why your friend had put on a swimsuit to join in in the bath. But then after reading this three times, I realised that that was not quite what you meant. Ah, punctuation! Semi-colons can be very useful at times, Kiama! :) LOL - and where can you find water proof decks is what I want to know...

DeLani	07 Nov 2002
I pretty much agree with everything that's been said so far. I would encourage you, if you are going pro, to learn about basic psychology/counseling methods. Since I'm an ordained minister, what I'm doing is spiritual counseling. Try to look and behave like a counselor. Make the client comfy and listen well. Here in my little corner of the universe, the casual hippy chic look is very in, so I can dress like the Goddess I am and not worry about a thing! In fact, I recently was invited to speak to a doctoral class of psychologists on using tarot for counseling! But only you know what would be acceptable dress where you live. In any case, don't go too extreme in one way or another. You are "packaging yourself for mass consumption," so to speak. So try to offend the *least* number of people! heehee!

jema	08 Nov 2002
dangerdork asked what to wear if her normal style was all black, well, i think it is silly to even consider dressing up or dressing down for a reading. just go with what you have on. readers comes in all colours and shapes and to suggest we should all dress in neat costumes a la ally mcbeal is not what anyone meant (i hope...) me, i am a hobo, dress like a hobo and probably talk like one too and won't change that for anyone. it is who i am. so just keep clean and i think you are ok. i had to laugh about that bit about the accent though... i have the habit of sort of whispering to myself when i type and two days ago i whispered all my posts in an southern american accent.... like my version of how they speak in texas:) i just got them little quirks i guess... one important thing i try to remember when i read is to speak slowly and with care. i am rather silent for 20 seconds then say. hmmm. or any other mannerism. i also assume my clients know nothing about tarot. that makes them feel safe, if they don't know anything they will learn something by me explaining it to them. and if they do know some tarot they will feel very smart:) it is a win-win situation.

divinerguy	08 Nov 2002
A good reader needs to set and enforce limits. Do your reading on the question asked, be thorough, and end the reading. Querents will often continue to ask followup question after followup question. Sometimes the querent is almost obssessive about it. Being helpful is one thing, but being taken advantage of is another. I'll normally do a followup reading only after three days.

Demonesse	08 Nov 2002
How long should a reading last, and how do you handle clients who continue to ask questions?

Thirteen	08 Nov 2002
Well, that depends. A reading shouldn't last longer than 2 hours tops (that's for YOUR sake, not theirs. 2 hours is exhaustive and only for really important, indepth reads--with 5 minute breaks and such for you)--1 hour is usually MORE than enough time. MOST readings won't take more than about 1/2 hour to 45 minutes. At a party, where you're reading for anyone who wants a reading, don't go over 15 minutes per person. If you're not charging, then when the time's up, you say, "Gotta go onto others, friend," and do. People usually don't take much offense as they're not paying. IF, on the other hand, you're a pro and you're charging, then it's important to have appointments set up. Let's say you charge by the 1/2 hour (or every 15 minutes, or whatever). You set up appointments--if the person you're meeting with wants to go on talking, they can IF you haven't got another appointment. If you do, you tell them, "We'll delve into this next time; but I have to get to the next client." Just like any other pro out there. Also, you can point out to them that if they feel they need a lot of tarot time, you can slate them for 1 and 1/2 hours instead of 1, that kind of thing. If you haven't got another appointment, you can keep on talking and answering questions, you just warn the client that they're going to have to pay for another 15 minutes (1/2 hour, whatever). I'd say it would be fair to give them maybe 10 minutes lee-way. That is, they're allowed to go over-time for 10 minutes before you start charging--and you give them fair warning when the meter starts running again.

Ladyfog	09 Nov 2002
My dear: I think a Tarot reader: 1- Should get to know the cards, as to be responsible. 2- Develop intuition. 3- Good observer 4- Be inquisitive- so he get to refine the question 5- Creative - So he can sort the story. 6- Reliable 7- Believe in his talent And above all, learn to give specific readings, not always stay in the subjective. Although Tarot is subjective, it can also give answers if you know how to ask. Love, Ladyfog

Ladyfog	09 Nov 2002
My dear: I like to fan the cards so they look like a rainbow. I don`t like to shuffle and neither I like my clients touch much the cards. I just fan the cards with attitude, like if I`m making a gift of a striking, colorfull spectrum of possibilities. I also like to have a piece of cloth were i make my spread. Love, Ladyfog like my clients touch much the cards. I just fan the cards with attitude, like if I`m making a gift of a striking, colorfull spectrum of possibilities. I also like to have a piece of cloth were i make my spread. Quote: Originally posted by Joywalker Umbrae, could you suggest some hands/fingers flexing exercise for I'm afraid that I might get cramps if I do nothing but shuffling all day. ;) Just to let you know, your post make me smile! :D

Umbrae	09 Nov 2002
Go to the store, and buy two cheap decks of playing cards. Shuffle them together so you have a thick deck. While you watch TV (you do own one of those don’t you?) shuffle – shuffle shuffle shuffle. Get so that cards do not “pop” out. Then start working with a Tarot deck (buy some cheap swag that you will never read with) and shuffle shuffle shuffle (while your spouse is watching TV, cause I know you don’t watch TV). Just practice practice practice…it should be an unconscious quality shuffle, with nothing ‘popping’ out.

Demonesse	09 Nov 2002
You're right - I should practice shuffling! I think I'll shuffle, let the querent cut the deck, and then spread it out for the querentt o pick. Hmm - if I wanted to go pro, how should I spread the word? Drop by bookstores that sell 'mystical stuff' (for lack of a better word) and ask them if they'd like a tarot reader? What should the arrangements be?

Jeanette	09 Nov 2002
Everybody has made great suggestions so far. I prefer to shuffle myself and let the Q cut the deck while thinking/focusing on their situation they've come to me about. I've only done free readings, so I'll listen to every body's advice about charging. But, I will suggest that you have a nice MANICURE!!! Not necessarily a lot of polish, but definitely nice clean hands and nails, well-groomed, not all dirty with hangnails and such! People will be looking closely at your hands, you want to leave a positive impression. Best wishes with your new venture! Jeanette

Alex	09 Nov 2002
but if the client is paying too much attention to your hands etc may be he/she probably isn't in that much need of a reading anyway. Quote: Originally posted by Jeanette , I will suggest that you have a nice MANICURE!!! Not necessarily a lot of polish, but definitely nice clean hands and nails, well-groomed, not all dirty with hangnails and such! People will be looking closely at your hands, you want to leave a positive impression. Best wishes with your new venture! Jeanette

Jeanette	09 Nov 2002
Alex, you may be right, but I still think first appearances are lasting, and leave an impression. I would want to be thought of as well-groomed, not untidy or dirty. I'm not saying that you have to go to a salon and pay for a service, but I am saying that you should spend some time paying attention to your hands, filing your nails evenly and making sure that your hands and nails are clean. I know I pay attention to other people and how they are groomed, if they aren't clean it's not pleasant dealing with them (especially people in food services). A little care shows, not caring shows even more. Jeanette (giving herself a manicure now that she's thought of it)!

Alex	09 Nov 2002
One thing I don't get is why many women advertize their services in rather sensual pictures showing half covered breasts, red lipstick, long red nails, lots of rings etc. One may be tempted to think, it's another kind of service they are advertizing. If I were to go out reading for people I would dress like I dress for teaching; you don't want the students paying attention to YOU or any trait of yours but to the content of what they are trying to learn. I think it's important to bathe and wear clean cloathes because there's nothing worse than being able to actually "smell" a stranger, be that a Tarot reader or anything else. In the US people bathe regularly, but when I lived in some country in Europe, I had a hard time with that. People just SMELL and their clothes SMELL and I didn't really feel like even having a cup of coffee with some folks. Much less pay them for a reading and having to sit close... So bathe, that's my advice. Alex.

wavebreaker	10 Nov 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Alex In the US people bathe regularly, but when I lived in some country in Europe, I had a hard time with that. People just SMELL and their clothes SMELL and I didn't really feel like even having a cup of coffee with some folks. Much less pay them for a reading and having to sit close... So bathe, that's my advice. Jeez, thanks for the advice! I always wondered what that thing called "shower" in the bathroom was for........

jema	10 Nov 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Alex In the US people bathe regularly, but when I lived in some country in Europe, I had a hard time with that. would you perhaps care to specify that country? i have been to a few countries in europe besides the one i live in and i never ever had this "problem" with people stinking. i find this remark of yours really uncalled for.

anjocoxo	10 Nov 2002
In my country we've just found out what pipes are for, so pretty soon we'll all have bathrooms to bathe.... uau! *irony* Damn, now I'm gonna have to spend my money in stupid things like soap and shampoo..... :(

fairyhedgehog	10 Nov 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Alex In the US people bathe regularly, but when I lived in some country in Europe, I had a hard time with that. People just SMELL and their clothes SMELL ROFL I've never been to the States, so that is something to look forward to, the lack of smell. Now, if I shower and wash my hair and wear clean clothes once a day, that must mean in the States you bathe and change more than once a day. My goodness, how do you get time for anything else? :D Seriously, the only smell I usually notice is on my own clothes when I have been in a smokey atmosphere and then I just have to wash everything because I dislike that smell. I did once work with a young man who hadn't heard of deodorant, and walked very fast to work ... We managed to open the sealed windows of the office 'to let in a breath of fresh air' but how do you tell someone they need to use deodorant? And when we go round the local computer fair it is always very apparent that there are a lot of men together in that space and that underarm deodorant is optional. Or as Terry Pratchett says, 'there are a lot of people and all of them have armpits'. I wonder where and when you had this problem with folks? I am now very intrigued.

Alex	10 Nov 2002
I didn't specify the country. I did not want to be offensive. Yet, if it can be a problem, why not mention it? Just because some people in this forum are from "Europe" and they *can* take it as an offense? Quote: Originally posted by jema would you perhaps care to specify that country? i have been to a few countries in europe besides the one i live in and i never ever had this "problem" with people stinking. i find this remark of yours really uncalled for.

Alex	10 Nov 2002
left his smell over the walls, mattress, floor and closet of the room he used to sleep. It took me days to take the stink out of the room. He was from... somewhere in the world.

wavebreaker	10 Nov 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Alex I didn't specify the country. I did not want to be offensive. Yet, if it can be a problem, why not mention it? Just because some people in this forum are from "Europe" and they *can* take it as an offense? Yes, being smelly can be a problem and mentioning that problem I have no objection against whatsoever. But that's not why I found your post offensive, it's the way you stated it. It doesn't matter that you didn't specify the country and I don't care which country it was, I found your remark offensive because you are making a generalising, negative remark about a specific group of people. Which is made worse by your adding that "people in the US bathe regularly", implying some sort of superiority. For your information: I've travelled all around the world (including the US) and there are smelly people all over the world (yes, even in the US!). Being smelly or not has nothing to do with culture or nationality.

cricket	10 Nov 2002
I agree, there are lots of stinky people in this world. *watches hubby walk past* Especially him. (It's deer season and he smells like doe pee and hasn't taken a shower in three days - been out in the woods. ;) ) Hygiene is a good thing to think about, though. It's much easier to sit down across from somebody who takes the time to take care of themselves, put on deodorant, and dress neatly - if comfortably - than it is to sit down across from somebody who looks like they've been living on the streets for the past year and haven't bathed in days.

Thirteen	10 Nov 2002
Have to agree here that the "smell" issue is universal--go to certain media conventions and you realize that some folk were never taught about soap and water--never mind complex cleansers like shampoos and toothpaste. And that's in the good ole' U.S. of A. I'll give you this, though, Alex, I do think that America and Japan have been hyper sensitive to germs and smells in the past 10 years (or maybe since the '50?)--where as Europe isn't nearly so obsessive. We advertize about ridding our bodies of natural odors and our homes of bacteria. Whereas I've spoken with some Euopeans who relish the natural fragrances of the body, sans anti-baterial soaps, underarm sprays, perfumes, etc. Of couse, now we're learning that being too hospital clean isn't necessarily a good thing as it means we don't give our immune systems a chance to build up. Getting back to the issue at hand: it's always a good thing to have nothing to distract a client's attention from the cards--be that body odor or strong perfume, dirty hands or outrageously long and brightly colored fingernails. And always have a sugar-free mint on hand to pop into your mouth before a session. 'Nuff said?

Maan	10 Nov 2002
Oke i too was offended with the whole smell thing! Not because you used the word europe but the way you stated it.. For instance US is known here as the country that invented MC Donalds etc..but i don't state that american's are all fat or something like that! ( to just name a ridiculous example ) And maybe what you have noticed in the part of europe were you have been had nothing to do with not bathing reguarly. Some eating habits make people smell differently....when i was working in a refugee shelter i noticed that some of the people smelled different and not because they did not bathe but because they eat different and because they washed there cloth with different products than i did. So smell is something that has something to do with culture.. the people you have met in europe probebly thought you where as smelly as you found them!

Demonesse	10 Nov 2002
Uhh...I never dreamed this thread would incite a controversy over hygiene. I do agree with tarotlady and Thirteen that bathing has nothing to do with nationality or culture. There are many people in warm countries who smell as well! Anyhow, a tarot reader with a smell would definitely be a strong put-off. Luckily, it's not a major problem for me - whatever my nationality :P

DarkElectric	11 Nov 2002
One thing I've found essential is something small, but quite important. Actually look at your client. Look them in the eye. Smile, be sincere, genuine, and friendly. Some people are less comfortable with eye contact than others, but I've found that during a reading, even those folks will really prefer some eye contact with you. Why? Because many times the people coming to you need deeper level advice, and this sets up a potentially disquieting dynamic...you are a stranger, and they are possibly asking you to investigate very personal matters. Therefore, you must gain the client's trust, so both of you will have a positive experience with their reading. Sincerity is the key. Eye contact is a good way to dispel fear, establish that you are a caring individual, and that they can feel comfortable interacting with you. I also have found that mode of dress is very important. If you are doing a festival, or a fair, and are EXPECTED to costume, by all means, go with it if it's all part of the show. But if you are reading in a shop, coffeehouse, or some other public place, dressing like Madame WooWoo is not going to lend you any credibility.( Even if you dress like her anyway, in real life.) I usually just wear a clean pair of jeans, a pretty shirt, and a nice necklace, or something not too ostentatious. Oh, and I have to offer a remark about smell...be careful about your shoes, because they can stink really bad, no joke. I have this pair of sneakers, which are the most comfortable things in the world, I love them. But they smell like dumpster diving skunks, especially if they get wet. So, needless to say, I avoid these shoes when I read for people. (Or, if I have to encounter people at all...) It's these little things, which are all part of establishing a comfortable relationship with your clientele.

Demonesse	12 Nov 2002
How do you handle those that get emotional, or start blabbering that tarot is nonsense? (I mean, if they get a reading that doesn't sit well with them...)

Diana	12 Nov 2002
edited

Umbrae	12 Nov 2002
I find that experience is the best teacher. Dress well, present yourself well – and you are going to make mistakes. Best learn from them.

Teal	12 Nov 2002
LOL on those smelly tennis shoes. I found a remedy that served perfectly when my sons were still at home. Launder the shoes if possible, putting some vinegar in the wash water. When dry, sprinkle soda into the shoes. Do this often as time goes on. Added to this, first bathe your feet in some water containing vinegar. Launder your socks with vinegar also. (No, you won't smell like a pickle----the smell doesn't stay.) Then, be sure to put clean feet into clean socks daily, then into the soda sprinkled shoes. If you do this, you won't have smelly feet, socks or shoes. It really does work. The smell is usually from a yeasty bacteria and yeast is killed by vinegar. The yeasty bacteria is what smells. The soda is a deodorant, also. I wouldn't steer you wrong-----my teenage grandson is now using this remedy and he no longer has smelly feet or smelly shoes, either.

tmgrl2	12 Mar 2004
Quote: Originally posted by Umbrae Oh yeah...buy a cheap deck you will never read with...Something that you hate. And use it to learn to shuffle. Spend days doing nothing but shuffling. If you have cards popping out of the deck or half the cards falling on the floor…you are done. Shuffle shuffle shuffle. LOL...just read this in older thread...my cards are all new...THEY DO FALL OUT! ...so off I go to shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, ROFLOL :D terri

starsongs	12 Mar 2004
Quote: Originally posted by Demonesse This is actually composed of 3 questions: 1. What qualities, traits or characteristics do you think is important for a tarot reader in both an unpaid and paid reading? ****I think it's important to be sincere, a good listener who is non-judgmental have a genuine desire to be of service to others, have a sense of humor and to be open to learning from the persons you read for.**** 2. What sort of behaviour/manner/mannerisms should be 'projected' towards the querent, especially in a paid reading? ****Friendly, warm, and approachable yet with the proper boundaries for oneself (which may differ with various people), Acceptance.***** 3. How would you advise a tarot reader to dress/look for the occasion? I feel one's overall appearance would create a strong first impression (especially to a client or someone you don't really know well), but that's just my guess. ****What is comfortable and normal for you beacause it is a part of who you are. I've never been a person who has dressed in a traditional way. Don't intend to begin now. This may make certain people uncomfortable, but my dressing in more traditional garb may make just as many others uncomfortable. I think its important to be yourself.***** Starsongs

baba-prague	12 Mar 2004
Well... The most successful reader in Prague over the last century was one of my heroines, "Madame de Thebes" - not her real name - who worked in one of the miniature 14th century houses in Golden Lane (also known as the "Street of the Alchemists" )apparently wearing sweeping black, a great many ostrich feathers and surrounded by various bizarre objects including skulls and a stuffed owl. She had clients from all over the world. On the other hand Demonesse, I'm not sure how this style would adapt to the 21st century!

Phoenyx*	12 Mar 2004
Quote: Originally posted by Umbrae Oh yeah...buy a cheap deck you will never read with...Something that you hate. And use it to learn to shuffle. Spend days doing nothing but shuffling. If you have cards popping out of the deck or half the cards falling on the floor…you are done. Shuffle shuffle shuffle. You can get a pack or two of normal playing cards over at the dollar store for $1....that helps alot for the practice of shuffling. :)

Logiatrix	12 Mar 2004
Quote: Originally posted by Demonesse This is actually composed of 3 questions: 1. What qualities, traits or characteristics do you think is important for a tarot reader in both an unpaid and paid reading? 2. What sort of behaviour/manner/mannerisms should be 'projected' towards the querent, especially in a paid reading? 3. How would you advise a tarot reader to dress/look for the occasion? I feel one's overall appearance would create a strong first impression (especially to a client or someone you don't really know well), but that's just my guess. Lastly, should I split this up into 3 different threads??? *** Note: I differentiate between paid and unpaid readings because I assume here in an unpaid reading that you are reading for someone you're probably close enough to be casual and friendly with; where the questions above would not matter as much. I think, paid or unpaid, the essentials are the same. An unpaid reading is just good practice, so you might as well maintain the same standards. The three I choose are (in the same numbered order): 1. Sincerity and integrity. 2. Kindness and compassion. 3. A feather boa and fuzzy slippers. :)

Jeanette	12 Mar 2004
I must include my 2 cents on this ~ I'm a stickler for well-manicured hands/nails. I don't necessarily mean that you have to have nail polish, or acrylic nails. But I do think it is very important to keep hands very clean, and pay attention to fingernails - file rough edges and clean any dirt out from underneath. Use lotion to soften rough spots. Since you're handling the cards so much, and pointing, attention will naturally be drawn to your hands. And keep jewelry to a minimum (unless you're dressing for a faire, or the like). I just noticed I replied to this one a while ago and said the same thing then that I'm saying now!

Jeanette	12 Mar 2004
And I just read the whole part about the smelly business ~ I live in Pennsylvania with a lot of Amish neighbors. Bathing seems to be optional during the week, it's saved for the night before church (which is every 2 weeks in each other's homes, they rotate around the parish). They are hard-working farmers and spend a lot of time in their barns and fields and smell like it. So, not everybody in USA bathes regularly!

baba-prague	12 Mar 2004
Quote: Originally posted by Jeanette I must include my 2 cents on this ~ I'm a stickler for well-manicured hands/nails. I don't necessarily mean that you have to have nail polish, or acrylic nails. Don't do what I once did, which was to put on (clear) nail polish right before my querent arrived. My hands may have looked nice, but my querent remarked on the strange smell of varnish - whoops! By the way Tauni, I'm rather taken with the idea of compassion and fuzzy slippers - it sounds very reassuring to me, if a little lacking in mystique ;-) _______ edited to say. This thing about smelliness is a permanent source of conversation in Prague. For some reason I've never worked out, many older Czech men simply don't wash much. Czech women complain about it constantly - and in fact the younger men are now much better about it - they've got the hint! It seems weirdly unique to Czech. Most Russians, Germans, Austrian, Brits, everyone else I know, remarks on it. It's a kind of running joke here and has been for years. It's a lovely country and the people are unusually nice in many ways - but boy, a crowded tram in the rush-hour can be a memorable olefactory experience! Here is a nice little article on how it's all changing now in "smell" terms: http://www.radio.cz/en/article/41108

tmgrl2	12 Mar 2004
_______ edited to say. This thing about smelliness is a permanent source of conversation in Prague. For some reason I've never worked out, many older Czech men simply don't wash much. Czech women complain about it constantly - and in fact the younger men are now much better about it - they've got the hint! It seems weirdly unique to Czech. Most Russians, Germans, Austrian, Brits, everyone else I know, remarks on it. It's a kind of running joke here and has been for years. It's a lovely country and the people are unusually nice in many ways - but boy, a crowded tram in the rush-hour can be a memorable olefactory experience! Here is a nice little article on how it's all changing now in "smell" terms: http://www.radio.cz/en/article/41108 [/b][/quote] baba you are too much...ROFLOL... My first husband of ten years was Czech...born here but spoke it fluently...Of course I loved his "baba" ....he called last year..btw and said he made a mistake by letting me go 28 years ago...first time I heard from him since I left him...ROFLOL again...my current husband and I have been married HAPPILY (mostly) for 27+ years.... that was such an eerie phone call...anyhow...he was a shower fanatic even though he was American Czech. t2

The What's important for a tarot reader - traits, manner, appearance? thread was originally posted on 05 Nov 2002 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.