Why is it so hard do give yourself a great reading

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 05 Mar 2003, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Amythist	05 Mar 2003
Everytime i do a reading for someone it is great. When i need to do myself a reading it seems so hard. I use more than 1 deck for different situations.

Marion	05 Mar 2003
Hi Too Cool, It is indeed difficult to read for yourself, because it is human to let hopes, and general wishful thinking get in the way. With others you can be more objective, but it is almost self-contradictory to objective with yourself. In order to read effectively for yourself, you have to calm, quiet and centre yourself carefully. sometimes you can even do it by 'pretending' that you are reading for someone else. Like you are telling 'their' story. I am going to move your thread to Talking Tarot. Threads posted in Your Readings are to be about specific readings, not about the process of readng in general.

Umbrae	05 Mar 2003
It is called personal bias. You think the cards are telling you about one area in your life… But in reality they are telling you about another area… Usually, denial is a huge issue. But when someone else does a reading for you (or you – them), they have not bought into your denial and self censorship…and they tell you the truth… So…if you know the answers, why read…?

Icestorm	06 Mar 2003
I think i have the opposite problem. I tend to be extroardinarily self-condemning when I do my readings. I would take cards like the 3 and 10 of swords and blow them totally out of proportion, and for cards like the 4 of pentacles and Devil I would read the worst possible way for myself. The result is predictably a rather bad reading with a very gloomy and depressing outlook. I find myself almost 'relieved' to get bad cards sometimes.

Marion	06 Mar 2003
Actually it is still personal bias. You treat yourself differently than you treat others. Think, if I were reading for a friend, would I interpret this card in this way?

MeeWah	06 Mar 2003
Not being able to do self-readings with detachment is common. When I do the occasional self-reading, I approach it as if I were reading for someone else. Go through all the motions of same, too (being grounded & centered, etc), just as if I were reading for a client. With practice, it gets easier but I get stymied, too. That is when I refer to another for insight. Another's unbiased view is always helpful; may reveal aspects hidden from self.

Alex	06 Mar 2003
We are social animals. We need to hear voices from the outside. Even when I get to *know* something about myself, be that by reading cards or just by reasoning over it, that *knowledge* does not work so well for me, as when I have someone else telling me the same thing. Alex.

Icestorm	07 Mar 2003
Now thats a thought... I think im feeling the same way at the moment... Id much rather someone else read for me than yet another gloomy self-reading suffused with self-bias.(thx marion) :-] At the same time, I think id much rather read for others than for myself, too!

Umbrae	07 Mar 2003
There is also another huge issue that encompasses readings in general. Some folks just don’t want to hear it. They will get upset. First they come and ask you to read the cards, then they storm off in a huff because you do. Usually they have an outcome in mind…”Oh my gawd, Miss Wright is just over there, and it’s you she wants, and she’s worth ten million dollars and you’ll never have to work again…” But that is not what you tell them, so they become upset. Instead you uncover deep emotional issues that they’ve been in denial about for years – they don’t want to hear that, “The last reader I went to didn’t tell me that…” Tarot reading is not always a wise career choice. Some folks want a reading then they go elsewhere for another and another and another…All of the readers could say the same thing…but it’s not what the person wants to hear. Imagine that person reading for themselves? They will construct excuses on ‘why the readings don’t work’ and my even declare that Tarot is evil. Some folks are given a course of action…but do nothing, waiting instead for divine intervention. Even psychiatric counseling can do so much…there is a course of action prescribed, beyond drugs…however patients rarely follow such…it means doing something. When we read the cards for ourselves, we usually know the answer – so why do we read for our selves in the first place, when the cards will not provide an answer from left field (a completely new idea – something we did not know), will not prescribe a course of action un-thought of, or tell us what we wanted to hear. The Shaman Zorya said, “If we are too attached to a perceived outcome, we may miss opportunities, or what is truly meant for us”. The main issue with Tarot or Scrying or whatever, is that the sitter has a view of their life and their issues. They come to you, and you provide a different view. The sitter cannot view their life in a different light – they cannot picture their life without their issues… When they sat alone with those rectangles of cardboard and ink, they tried and tried…but the same light shone on their same issues…you come along and shift the light, the shadows move – ghostly apparitions on the walls of their own construct – a play of illusion that reveals what rests within them… They can become the ostrich, or get up and do – They usually choose the former…

Amythist	07 Mar 2003
I weas not expecting this many replies thankyou for help too cool

lawguy51	08 Mar 2003
I enjoy reading for myself. I perhaps do it too often. Well, I do a daily 3 card spread but I don't count that as a 'reading' per se. Yes, as has been suggested, I know the answers. And my self readings tend to confirm what I know is going on. It's like being an architect and going back to the blueprint to make sure you're following the plan. But sometimes there is one card in a spread, one bit of information I've neglected or not considered or wasn't aware was coming into view...that for me is the payoff of self reading. So, confirmation and discovery. That's how it works for me. Lawguy51

Rusty Neon	12 Mar 2003
In reading for yourself, you may find it useful to use predetermined keyword meanings for the cards and, unlike what you may do in reading for others, rely less on intuition and on entering the card. A deck with keywords may assist in this regard. Perhaps reading your own cards doesn't work for you (and you should solicit the help of a friend to read for you) and limit your own use of tarot for brainstorming, general mood reading, etc.

Icestorm	13 Mar 2003
It could be that your instinct is completely clouded by self-bias, in which case, yes, the 'lwb meaning', as imprecise as it is, may be a better alternative until you can achieve a state of mind that can control self-bias. (Im in this phase atm, its harder than it sounds!)

Athara	13 Mar 2003
Quote: When we read the cards for ourselves, we usually know the answer – so why do we read for our selves in the first place, when the cards will not provide an answer from left field (a completely new idea – something we did not know), will not prescribe a course of action un-thought of, or tell us what we wanted to hear. We read for ourselves because we do not know the answer consciously IMHO. Tarot makes you discover those answers for yourself. That is, of course, if you manage to look beyond what you want to hear of the cards and manage to hear what they have to tell you about yourself.

MST	25 Mar 2003
Quote: Originally posted by Marion ...sometimes you can even do it by 'pretending' that you are reading for someone else. Like you are telling 'their' story. A friend came to me for a reading and asked a series of questions about a situation an acquaintance was in. After the reading I figured out the common thread in her questions. They were carefully worded and she never let on that I was in the center of them. She had me doing a reading for myself. I figured it out later. What a surprizing eye opener it was to realize how objective and accurate I could be. It is a unique experience to be the Reader and the Querant so distinctly. When you consciously do your own readings you are really some distorted mutation of the two.

MST	25 Mar 2003
Quote: Originally posted by Icestorm I think i have the opposite problem. I tend to be extroardinarily self-condemning when I do my readings. I would take cards like the 3 and 10 of swords and blow them totally out of proportion, and for cards like the 4 of pentacles and Devil I would read the worst possible way for myself. The result is predictably a rather bad reading with a very gloomy and depressing outlook. I find myself almost 'relieved' to get bad cards sometimes. When reading for myself (about anything) I often interpret everything as though it were all me even when asking about situations and people unrelated to me. There are times when the cards fit me so well I wonder if they are not trying to tell me something instead of answer my questions. I suspect it is all in your regimen and intent. You are defining your terms and conditions. If you are inclined to blur the lines and make everything gloomy about you instead of being open to anything this is how the cards will respond. Unfortunately a lot of people are drawn to gloom instead of excitingly positive events. Too many generations of stiffling parents smacking the life out of everyone.

Aerin	25 Mar 2003
Quote: Originally posted by Umbrae When we read the cards for ourselves, we usually know the answer – so why do we read for our selves in the first place, when the cards will not provide an answer from left field (a completely new idea – something we did not know), will not prescribe a course of action un-thought of, or tell us what we wanted to hear. I believe that we all know the answer to our questions on some level, but that it isn't always easily accessible to the conscious mind. In reading for myself, I have had many 'aha' moments where something has hit me in a way it has never hit me before. And that has enabled me to take a different course of action. If someone reacts really negatively to a Tarot reading, that's not just a neutral reaction as one might expect from something completely off the page. For me, that's probably a sign of recognition of something they know but don't want to admit to themselves. I really do believe that everyone has the resources they need to resolve their issues, it's just that they can't get at them....yet...... Aerin ps one thing that I find works for me in separating 'self-as-querent' and 'self-as-reader' is to physically separate the positions and hence the mental state that goes with them. First you pick a spot for 'querent', visualise yourself in that spot in total and absolute querent mode (preferabley imagine a time when you were and use that as a reference) and then step in to that spot and your querent state. Formulate the question, shuffle, whatever you would normally do as querent. Then step out of that space into a neutral place, shake off the 'querent' (physically) and find a different spot for reader (the more personal the question the more I separate the two physically). Then visualise yourself there in 'total reader mode' and when you are ready step in there. Do spread and read, addressing the spot where the 'querent' is as if they are another person. If you want to step back and forth between the places, that's fine: just go via neutral and really shake off the role before stepping in. That way you don't get the two states mixed up, you want them pure. If you find yourself wanting to do e.g. querent from reader position then STOP, step out, shake off state, and then go and say what you need to say from the querent spot. If you want, you can imagine a different person as the reader and 'do them'. When you've finished, I find it helps to just walk through all 3 places (reader/ querent/ neutral) to pick bits of yourself up. So to speak. (And now they all think I'm insane :O) It's easier to do than to talk about. It's also a good way of getting yourself into the best state you can for a reading: just remember a time when you read brilliantly and with great insight, see/ hear yourself doing it in a chosen spot, and then step into yourself.

celeste	01 Apr 2003
I agree with many of the opinions expressed here,but I also continue to do daily readings (giving myself a break from it every day or two)because it keeps me alert and on my toes to new developements around me. I can control myself but not the actions of others. Having an idea of the influences around me (and I usually know or suspect who specifically around me is the troublemaker for that day),gives me the advantage of not being caught completely off-guard and reactionary. I can decide how I want to respond to less than advantageous(or advantageous)situations and people.

catti	06 Apr 2003
when i began with tarot i learned this maxim: it is the fool who asks the question and the fool who answers it how many times have i done a ready for myself knowing the answer wanting to have something tell me you are wrong only to have the throw come out just as i was thinking only to IGNORE the part i dont like oh well, that is another reason to write down your readings and any reactions you had

Marion	07 Apr 2003
Aerin, what a good idea! I do something like that when reading for myself, but I had never developed the idea so far along or so well.

The Why is it so hard do give yourself a great reading thread was originally posted on 05 Mar 2003 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.