The view from inside the tarot closet

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 31 May 2003, and now archived in the Forum Library.

fairyhedgehog	31 May 2003
I went to Brighton yesterday with my little sister. (She's one year younger than I am, so not very little really :) ) It was a glorious day and we were looking in all the little flea markets for a birthday present for her. We came to a wonderful shop selling, amongst other things, tarot cards. I'm firmly in the closet as far as my family are concerned but I couldn't resist and I was wondering if this was my chance to come out to my sister. (The longer I leave it the harder it will be, because I'm going to be asked 'why didn't you tell me before?') So, we went in and had a look around. Little sister was reading humorous signs on the wall and I found some 'Healing with the Fairies' cards. I picked them up and said, 'I love cards like these'. Little sister completely ignored me. Which is how my family deals with people saying things they disapprove of. So I gave up. I have such mixed feelings: I did try to tell her. But not very hard. And I'm not sure where to go next with coming out of the closet or if I even want to. By the way, before I set out, I'd done a reading with the Ancestral Path tarot: What do I need today? 5 Pentacles. How do I get it? 9 Wands What does life want from me today? 6 Wands I'm not sure how this fits in, or if this bit of my post needs moving to the my Readings section.

samantha	31 May 2003
" What does life want from me today ?: 6 wands" Be proud of who and what you are ! and this includes the use of the cards , either with or without your sisters "consent" who knows , she may come round in time .

wavebreaker	31 May 2003
Sometimes people just don't want to hear, or are not ready for it. I never told my family about tarot either. One of my aunts knows about it, because she's into tarot herself, and she once said something about it to my mother. My mother never mentioned it to me. Also, my brother found the two interviews I did here on Aeclectic when he was doing a name search on the internet. He emailed me about it and couldn't at first believe it was really me who had written them. He never asked me anything about tarot though... I have a similar thing with reiki. I never told my family I was doing reiki, because I knew they wouldn't understand and think it would be some weird, vague, new agey thing. My mother found out about it, and asked me about it twice. But both times when I tried to explain to her what it was, she would look away. She was simply not listening. So I'm not even trying to explain anymore. If they want to know more, they can ask and I will answer. If they want to listen, that is. Otherwise, I will just keep it to myself. ;)

Ruby Red Slippers	31 May 2003
TarotLady: Makes you wonder how you came from the same family doesn't it??? I have the same thing with my family. They just call me the gypsy and never really want to talk about Reiki, energy healing, karma release, tarot, animal communication etc, etc, etc..... When we are all together, only yearly, since I live 2000 miles away, they want to laugh, party, drink & have a good time. I have no problem with that and my husband and I always join in, but don't share any of that "new age stuff". I talk to them all the time on the phone, but we always keep it "surface conversation"...it is safer that way. At least I dn't have to pay to hear pregnant pauses. :joke: These are the same people who say the rosary and say they believe in miracles....but only from god. :eek: I have come to believe it is just safer for them this way, and they really want us to be who they believe we are. They can't or don't want to move out of their comfort zone. Ruby Red Slippers

Moongold	31 May 2003
Aren't we lucky we live in this century and not the 16th and downwards? We might have been put to death by now...

wavebreaker	01 Jun 2003
Quote: Originally posted by Ruby Red Slippers TarotLady: Makes you wonder how you came from the same family doesn't it??? Definitely... And these are just our differences in beliefs; don't get me started on our differences in political opinions... :eek: ;) Moongold: my aunt who is into tarot lives in the predominantly catholic part of our country. She used to openly wear a pentacle pendant, but she decided to hide it because she got too many negative comments from people around her... :( Luckily, I live in an area of the country were people are more open-minded; I've never had any negative remarks on my pentacle pendant.

Wildchild	01 Jun 2003
My family's the same way. I've never hid my tarot cards or any of my "witchy" stuff. They've been over a bazillion times and I'm sure they must have seen things. It's been about 15 years and I figured if they really want to know, they would have asked by now. :)

fairyhedgehog	01 Jun 2003
Quote: Originally posted by samantha " What does life want from me today ?: 6 wands" Be proud of who and what you are ! and this includes the use of the cards , either with or without your sisters "consent" who knows , she may come round in time . Thanks, samantha, that makes sense. Your use of the word 'consent' made me wonder why I think I need her permission anyway. :)

fairyhedgehog	01 Jun 2003
Quote: Originally posted by tarotlady Sometimes people just don't want to hear, or are not ready for it. That is so true. I think I've been feeling guilty at being so secretive and what hadn't even occurred to me is that maybe my family don't even want to know. That actually makes me feel better. I think: maybe I don't need to try to hide it, they'll hide it from themselves until they are ready to listen. That certainly fits in with your experience, wildchild. And if they talk about me behind my back and pray for me to see the light - well, no harm done, eh?

allibee	01 Jun 2003
You were in Brighton and you never said? hehehe, just down the road from me.... Suggestion: Like school, we'll call this show, don't tell though. Imagine your sister comes around and there is a 'first steps' in tarot kind of book somewhere where she would see it. Her first reaction... other than ignoring it ... "Oh, you're not getting into all that, are you?" This stamps her disapproval on it. Your reply, "Actually, that's an old book, I'm a very good reader as it happens..." This is where their resolve ALWAYS crumbles and they nearly always decide they WANT something "Well, do a reading for me then.... not that I believe in any of this of course..." sooner or later down the line, anyway :O) A.

Sulis	01 Jun 2003
I agree with the others, you are who you are, you have every right to feel proud of that but you don`t have to seek approval, even from your family. You say you`ve told them and they`ve ignored it, if they`re offended by what you do then it seems that they`ll probably continue to ignore it. As I see it you`ve done all you can do. When they`re ready to know they`ll come to you. Love and light Crystalmynx xx

Diana	01 Jun 2003
We have this thing in our society: wanting to be accepted by our families. Why? They're just people......... I have never really understood this whole deal about family. If one doesn't get along with a family member, why is it so important? Doesn't make sense to me. I have cut off all contact with 95% (give or take a percent or two) with all my family. (My parents are dead, so I'm not including them here.) We have nothing in common. I don't dislike them - they're all a friendly kind bunch, but I don't get anything out of the time I would spend with them. I much prefer to spend that time reading a book, or chatting to you people. As long as we can share our interests with our friends and our partners, I think that counts far more. If one cannot share one's passions with friends or partners, then there's something wrong......

allibee	01 Jun 2003
I'll raise my glass to that Diana :O) Allison

Trogon	01 Jun 2003
Ahh... family... such major pains in the derierre, aren't they? Luckily, my family all either fully accept that I read the Tarot and am into this "new age" stuff, or they fully ignore it. My brother is the one who ignores it... a good husband and father is he and very active in his church - which is why he choses to ignore this aspect of what is me. That's okay though - we get along fine. Alas, as was said by some wise man before me, you can chose your friends, but you can't chose your family. Anyway... as far as how you might be able to more openly broach the subject with family members; Next time one of them comes to you and mentions that they're having some little problem or ask your advice on a given situation... offer to do a Tarot reading for them on that question. If they scream, begin reciting the Lord's Prayer and throwing buckets of holy water in your direction... odds are, they might be a little perturbed about your suggestion. On the other hand, if they just say no thanks, then your situation will probably remain unchanged. However, there is a possibility that whoever you ask might be open to the idea, or at least ask you a few questions about it. And that, will at least get it out in the open, so you will feel better about your family and your relationship with them. Please don't feel that I'm in any way poking fun at you with comments like throwing buckets of holy water... I'm actually poking fun at the human race in general. Quote: Originally posted by fairyhedgehog What do I need today? 5 Pentacles. How do I get it? 9 Wands What does life want from me today? 6 Wands Now... as to this... I definitely agree with Samantha about the 6 of Wands... be proud of yourself, of who and what you are. 5 Pentacles; I think (partly from what you've already said and partly from how I interpret this card) that you were feeling a very strong need for acceptance that day. You wanted to be open with your family and have the accept you for who and what you are. 9 Wands; Obstinance... stubborness. Keep trying, don't give up. If you keep dropping those hints, such as the one you gave your sister, if you keep your cards in the open where they'll be seen when people come to visit. Then this will be in the open. How fully your family will accept your Tarotness remains to be seen though. That's how I interpret this card. When we throw in that 6 of Wands... I would say that regardless of the level of acceptance you achieve, you can be proud of the fact that you're no longer "in the closet". You don't have to hide who you are and what you are any more... I do hope this has been of some small assistance... However, I do reserve the right to be wrong...

Ruby Red Slippers	01 Jun 2003
Allibe: Good Point :eek: ...We must remember that our inital response can open a door...Thanks for pointing it out :) Ruby Red Slippers

fairyhedgehog	01 Jun 2003
Quote: Originally posted by Trogon I do hope this has been of some small assistance... However, I do reserve the right to be wrong... Yes, very helpful indeed. Your take on the cards made a lot of sense.

The The view from inside the tarot closet thread was originally posted on 31 May 2003 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.