My "Fool's Journey"

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 22 Jun 2003, and now archived in the Forum Library.

bec	22 Jun 2003
This is my attempt to make a story of the tarot cards. My original story is in Danish, this is the translated version of that. Please bear in mind that I am not native english - nor are my attentions to become a famous writer some day :P This is a story ment for a "tarot beginner's class." I hope you will share your opinions with me :) The Fool’s Journey – so it began: It is a sunny day and the Fool is once again out on one of his walks. He is just not capable of sitting still and he for sure does not want to stay in town. People in town call him the Town’s Fool but mostly behind his back, as in reality they are just a little envious of his free spirit. The Fool has a dog that follows him wherever he is going. If the dog only wants to play or it is there for taking care of the Fool, no one really seems to know for sure, it is there and the Fool is content with its presence. The Fool has, as he would have every day for his walks, packet a small cloth with all the necessary things for his walk. Not that the Fool has ever had to use any of it before, it has become more of a ritual for him than a necessarily. On this sunny day the world’s magnificence captures the Fool’s attention even more than usual. Philosophies about what could be behind the tip of the mountains is sparkling in his mind. The Fool is so occupied that he does not hear the dog barking out it’s warning, that he does not notice the cliff, that he does notice the ending before the fall is already started and ongoing. He is falling in what seems to be forever, like a tornado his life is passing and around him. He can see all the people in the town saying: “You should have paid more attention! Don’t you ever grow up!!” the dog is barking and the sun is shinning. An eternity passes. The philosophy he thought of is turning to questions, all these questions, if one only had the answer to all of them. The Fool is in an abyss of darkness, he looks ever so careful upwards but to his own big surprise he cannot see the mountain from which he fell down. Nothing is there to see. He looks around him and still, nothing is there to see. "How can there be nothing?” he thinks. "I am here, I can feel, touch, think and talk to my self, how can there be nothing? – There must be a way out of this darkness!" The Fool sits or more likely falls to the ground; all confused he is starring around in blindness. “And where is my dog? My ever so loyal companion, how I miss its barking in play, that was surely a true friend.” At that moment the Fool realized that the dog he everyday would pay very little attention, the one he took for granted on his walks now was gone. No sounds were to be heard, no barking was there, and everything had become nothing. The Fool who is as we know him a positive, optimistic and yes maybe even a naïve young man, suddenly stands up and says out loud: “Where there is a will there is a way – and I want to move on from here!" As it was magic comes, what seems to be miles and miles away, a small enlightened gateway in the dark nothingness. The Fool hesitates by the sight of it as it does not seem all that big and it also seems very far away. It is hard to see if it is even remotely worth the efforts to follow. Never the less does he very careful walk towards the gateway, “where no one dares…” he thinks and disappears through the gateway. As soon as the Fool made his decision and had taken the first steps to get out of the nothingness, the darkness lifts – like a night that ends, the light starts to reveal what was in the darkness. (to be continued...)

Moongold	22 Jun 2003
I look forward to the next chapter, Bec :)

Mimers	22 Jun 2003
Bec, I am loving your story! Keep it up. have you written it already, or are you in the process? Your translation came accross very well, by the way. I had no problem following it. Looking forward to the next part. Mimers

bec	23 Jun 2003
A beautiful forest road appears. Birds are singing from above, flowers; yellow, red and white are blooming at the feet of the trees. The road looks to be of the finest gold, the reflections of the sun as it shines with all its glory. Trees are stretching majestically for the sky; there deep green colors are bringing hope for an eternity summer. The Fool walks for a while, picking up a white rose smelling it and starts wonder, “I wonder what could be behind those trees?” Never had he thought it through before the road splits in two. One road is broad and beautiful as the one he is already standing on. The other on the other hand, well it would not even qualify as a road, merely a path of rubles, it is hidden in the shadow, crocket and narrow, it certainly does not look as welcoming as the first road. The Fool has no doubt in heart, there is only one-way for him, and ever so happy he wanders along the broad and incomprehensible beautiful forest road. The Fool keeps on walking, he does not feel time. Maybe because there is no time. It takes quite some time before he notice the cool breeze on his skin, the trees casting their long shadows across the road in front of him. Silhouettes take shape, stub of trees becomes trolls and the beautiful wildered side of flowers is transforming into all kind of creeps, peeking out from here and there. The top of trees begins to chant the awful message as was they saying: “You should have paid more attention! Don’t you ever grow up!! ?” The Fool stops and notice the coolness in the air, with an alert horror inside he looks at the change of scenario. “Where is my little dog, it would have warned me in time that is was time to go home. Where I am to find shelter for the night in this dark forest where no angle would have walked?” The Fool looks around; everything is veiled in the unmerciful twilight zone where none is what it appears. Deep in the forest an enlightened spot becomes visible for the Fool, as if it was magic the place does not seem to be veiled of the darkness around it. Like thousands of crystals where the sun still reflects its sunrays. The Fool is drawn though not so sure that he aught to – the enlightened is pulling him, as he was floating towards the spot in a trance. As he comes closer, he can see the most breathtaking alcove of trees which crowns are cuirassing the magical spot. Flowers; red roses and white lilies are growing wild and form an honors port; it all looks like a painting. The Fool cannot believe his eyes, “What is this place? How did it become? (to be continued...) It is a process, so it can take time for next chapter to appear.

bec	23 Jun 2003
In the middle of the painting is a table, a gigantic table made of oak tree, and it looks to be at least 300 years old. Deep cracks reveals the age and still it do not look, as if it would ever break for even the next 300 years. On the table lies an open book, it is from here the very same light comes, which had drawn the Fool. The book have a glow and it looks as if it sends the purest white light out in the universe, or is it the other way around? The Fool gets a bad case of curiosity, “I wonder what it says in that book, that divine book that looks as if it were made of pure magic?” The Fool whispers the question at him self and slowly approaches the book wanting to keep anticipation for as long as possible. Just as he is so close he can get a glen of what the book contains there is a man by table. As coming from nowhere he now is standing before the Fool. It is not a big man; actually he seems rather ordinary come to think of it. The Fool looks startled at him and just as they reach eye contact the man grows to be enormous. The man looks at him with a very intense gaze as to see what the Fool has come for. His eyes soften and he nods understanding to his own thoughts. ”I am the forest’s Magician; I am here to guide you on your path as far as I am cable”, without waiting for an answer the Magician continues his dialog within. Without asking the Fool if he has any questions he starts some kind of ritual. The Fool is frozen, cannot move as he watches, he can hardly breath because of heart felt respect and fear for the Magician. The Magician raises his right hand and reveal a wand, it glows the same forces as the book on the table. With his left hand he points to the ground and says: “Everything you need you carries with you. Everything you will ever have any use for you have already got in your cloth. Spread your cloth here at the table.” The Fool has his eyes wide open, taking his cloth and spreading it on the table he is not taking his eyes of the tens gaze of the Magician, he just cannot. On the table now lie a coin, a cup, a sword and a wand. The Magician is looking at the items with an investigating look, and then he nods recognizing as he is going to speak out. Nothing is said though. He looks down at the hand pointing to ground and makes some circling rituals, still not saying anything out loud the Fool can feel the conspiracy deep with in. The coin on the table starts vibrates, not much, just enough to catch the attention of the Fool. With a lump in his throat he looks at the coin as it start to lift from the table. It floats in the air by it self! The Fool cannot believe what he is witnessing; in his exhaling he sort of moans to him self “this is pure magic!” The Magician sends him a little crocket and understanding smile and says: “This coin is your connection to Earth, from its force you will find grounding and health. From its value you will find shelter and riches. Use it wisely.” The Magician takes a small break, while a cloud is forming around the coin in the air; and he continues: “Take this coin and let it be the first of many, how you choose to make use of it, only you can decide, use it wisely.” The Fool is taking it all in with a good portion of skepticism, an equal amount of excitement, this is better than any trick he have ever seen before. He clear his throat and reaches for the coin, it hovers lightly over his hand and falls into his palm. The Fool is now standing with an ordinary coin, as if nothing spectacular had ever happened. “This coin will be either the beginning of my Empire or the beginning of my pit fall” the Fool tasted the words as he put it in his pocket. With great anticipation he looks back at the Magician for what will happen to the other items lying on the table? (to be continued...)

Mimers	23 Jun 2003
Bec, This is getting very good. Are you using a particular deck for your story? I promise I won't interupt again. Looking forward to more! Mimi

bec	23 Jun 2003
Thank you Mimers, glad you are enjoying it so far :) Interrupt all you want, it does not bother me. Would be happy with feed-back along the way ... Edited to add an answer to your question, as I am using RW and Shapeshifter for readings, these are the main decks you will see in the story. though no cards are used for the story, I go from head to paper and see what happens.

bec	24 Jun 2003
The Magician turns his back at the Fool, bends to the ground and then afterwards reaches his arms to the sky, nothing is said, as a trickster who pulls a rabbit out of his hat, a white dove is flying from his hands. The Fool looks at the dove with just one eye, as he is more interested in what happens to the items on the table. The dove flies towards the top of trees and the Magician is once again turning to face the Fool. With his left hand the Magician points to the ground, looks down, as if he is going to saying a prayer. Yet nothing is said. With the same hand he reaches out for the cup, takes it ever so gentle by the foot and raise it to the sky. As a sign were given the white dove skydives towards the cup, in its beep it holds a golden coin with a cross on it. The Fool starts hearing sizzling water near by, and to his great amusement he sees two streams of water coming out of the cup, no wait, are they filling the cup? The Fool cannot determine whether the water is flowing one way or the other. He claps his hands in excitement, “This is even better!” he cries out in joy, looking at the Magician with the deepest felt devotion. Once again the Magician sends him a crocket and understanding smile, and says: “This cup is your connection to water. Its volume will make you cable of carrying great amounts. Its fullness will let you satisfy your thirst and let you share with others. Whether you choose to keep it all to your self, let it go to waste on the ground or share with others, is your choice to make. Take the cup and listen to your heart, let it choose wisely.” The Magician hands the cup to the Fool, who takes it with greatest care to avoid spilling. By the sight of the delightful water, he comes to realize that he have not had any to drink for a long time, and in one drag he drinks it all up, wipe his mouth in his sleeve and says: “Just what I needed!” He places the cup on the ground by his feet. Although the Fool likes all these amazing tricks, he starts getting a little impatience. “What about the last two then?” he asks. No answer is given, the Magician points his staff towards the sky and the hand to the ground, and he watches the sky intensely. Above the table four winds starts to whirl around the sword. A little cloud is lifting the sword from the table, the sword is turning around it self controlled by the four winds. The Magician says: “This sword is your connection to air. Learn to control the four winds and you have will have the sword in your power.” Magician takes a pause while a crown is shaped around the sword. The crown is decorated with deep green leaves. “How can I control the four winds?” the Fool interrupts, “as I am surely no magician as your self”. And the Magician says: “Magicians are created by words and thoughts, he who does speak are the greatest of them all. With the sword you can build life long friendships and you can start a war. Take your sword and learn to control it, use it with the utmost consider hence.” The Fool takes the sword; he is a bit disappointed in the explanation as he do not understand how the four winds can be tamed. He shoves the sword in his belt. The Magician looks at the wand lying there alone on the table. The wand is in a terrible condition, all dried up, no life force to detect at all. He looks at the Fool with an empathic look and says: “When you wander of with no goal or passion, your wand will suffer and die.” He looks back at the wand, he lays one hand on the wand and the other one holding the Magician’s own wand he waves over it. As a film being taken of, the wand on the table is coming alive; a leave is starting to grow. The wand on the table start resurrects and grows stronger, as an invisible force giving it its vitality back. The Magician looks very pleased with it, takes the wand and holds it upfront the Fool and says: “This wand is your connection to fire. Let it burn and guide you through darkness. Let it grow and inspire you to new destinations. With this wand you will have the world before you. You can use it as a supporter or you can let it burn. It is your choice for what you will use it.” The Fool is handed the wand. As soon as he holds it he can feel the vibrating vitality rush through his body. He has a great urge to move on, but the Magician is already on with something new. The Fool looks at him and thinks: “What else is there to show, apart from the Magician’s book there is nothing left at the table, did he not already show me what I needed to see?” The Magician turns to the sky once again. Above his head becomes a lemniscates visible, it pulses a warm glow. The Fool looks puzzled at the lemniscates and then to the sky. Clouds are drifting very fast, morning turns to day, day turns to evening, evening turns to night and night turns to day again. The Magician lowers his arms and rests his hands by his belt. The belt transforms into a snake that is biting its own tale. He looks intensively at the Fool: “Make today a good day so tomorrow can be free of shadows shaped by yesterday. The beginning is the end, ending is the beginning. Take your things and move on, I have given you what I was able to.” The Fool spins on his feet, to see where to go next, as he was sure there was only the road from which he came from. Turning to the Magician to ask which way, he is stunned to see that there is no Magician. Everything is gone as if it has never been there. The Fool takes the cup and covers it with his cloth, binding it to his belt. Happy he wanders back to where he came from, the beautiful forest road, birds are singing and the sun is shinning. As of yet he still have not thought of where his path would lead him. (to be continued...)

Mimers	24 Jun 2003
Bec! I loved this part Quote: “This sword is your connection to air. Learn to control the four winds and you have will have the sword in your power.” Magician takes a pause while a crown is shaped around the sword. The crown is decorated with deep green leaves. The Magician presents the tools to the Fool as the Aces. Fresh new beginnings for the Fool. I also love the way you described the cup filling. This story is going great. Looking forward to the next part Mimers

bec	26 Jun 2003
It does not take long before the Fool reaches the same split as he stood by earlier. He stands there for a long time, having seconds thoughts. The two roads he already knows and even though he would like to stay on the beautiful forest roads, it seems he will have to take the crocket and hideous forest path. The Fool makes every effort in making himself strong, making sure the sword is still where he put it. Hesitating he walks into the path, no flowers is growing here, only bear bushes with huge thorns. Even the crowns of the trees seem to yield from this path. For the first time in his life the Fool is alert and paying attention as to where he sets his feet. Within a short time of walking the Fool reaches the end of the road. The thorn bushes are merging and cutting of the road. The Fool has reached a blind spot. “What! What is this?!” The Fool is utterly confused looking around for another path but do not find any. It seems if he wants to get any further it will have to be through the bushes. He draws his sword and tries cutting his way through only it have very little effect. The more he cuts the stronger and closer the bushes seem to grow. After quite a few worthless efforts the Fool sits and thinks: “I have seen three roads, first I came from, second I have just been on and this is the third one. So this is the road I have to take, but how can I? When there is no road?” At the feet of the bushes he sees some small dead flowers, with out even consider his actions, he carefully takes his cup and share his water with the flowers. After the refreshment he uses his wand to get back on his feet, he stumps it to the ground but only lightly and says: “If there is a way where there is a will, then let me through!” To his big surprise he watches the small flowers as they come alive, they grows and becomes red roses and white lilies. They grow and merges with the bushes, the bush comes alive and little red berries appear. The trees is beginning to wave a small breeze, no wind had been there before. The sun casts infant sunrays upon them. The Fool is stunned of what happens. The bushes begin to open up a path, just broad enough for the Fool to get through. He cannot believe his own eyes, maybe he is a Magician after all? (to be continued...)

bec	27 Jun 2003
The Fool goes through the bushes; he does not wonder what is on the other side. This is the only road there is. Surrounded by red roses and white lilies, bushes and berries; the Fool moves through a portal. One might have expected a field, a valley, mountains or forests behind the portal the Fool however is none of these places. On the other side of the portal there shows to be an entrance to a Temple. The Fool is standing in the first room and filling his body and mind with the atmosphere. The cup he is holding in his cloth is filled with water. The sword is twisting and the Fool can feel the four winds deep inside. The wand is spurting with energy eager to lead the way. The Fool lays his hand on his pocket; he can feel the coin coming to live down there. “I have to take extra care for this one now, as I am going to need it, not just here though especially here“ he thinks and is not a bit surprised over his rather uncommon rational thinking. The Fool is feeling a very deep connection with the temple. A power he never felt before is filling his body. A heart felt fear of honor is filling his mind. A peace deep within his soul is spreading throughout his chest. He walks further into the temple, it seems to be filled with all world’s secrets however there are no furniture, no paintings, no artifacts, not even an alter to pray by. Further and deeper into the veils of secrets, he is taking in the atmosphere and knows as by instinct, what would be behind the mountains, what would be behind the trees, what the Magician wanted to tell when he said: “The beginning is the end. Ending will be the beginning” Everything all of a sudden makes sense to the Fool; a veil is lifted in his mind. The last room something happens that fills the Fool with a fear that runs through bone and marrow. In the room is an exit, an exit to the future, his future. By each side of the exit is a gigantic pillar with a lotus flower on the top. Between the pillars a woman sits. She is reading a scroll; only the scroll is not open. She is surrounded with moons in all phases and with Isis as the greatest. The woman is seductively looking at the Fool, in her eyes he can see all the answer to his questions, all he needs to be ask. Behind the woman is a curtain decorated with pomegranates. The Fool is not sure whether his fear comes from what is behind the curtain or it comes from the woman. The peace he had felt anywhere else in the temple is now gone. It is the woman who scares him. ”Wh-who are you?” the Fool stutters. “I am the High Priestess, guardian of what lies behind” she speaks with a firm and very velvet like voice. At first the Fool do not understand what she means and are just about to ask, he has already opened his mouth to speak when having second thoughts. A fragment of what the Magician said: “Greatest is he who does not speak” comes to his mind. He sits down on the floor thinking. “My inner peace is in great turmoil, only it was not before this woman showed. She is blocking my way to the future, which is making me anxious for what it might hold. Had she not been sitting there, my curiosity would have pulled the curtain with out ever thinking it could be dangerous. Why does her presence scare me for what is there? I feel a blockage in heart and mind” Telepathic a voice answer the Fool within: “You are trying to feel rational. You are trying to think with your heart. It would be wise to make it clear what your heart is feeling and what your mind is saying. Do not move while blindfolded” The Fool looks up at the High Priestess; once again he is feeling the connection inside. He feels her wisdom in her eyes. Yes he must indeed sit still till figured what forces are throwing his inner peace in turmoil. He is trying to fight his fear rational but his heart will find no peace. “How do I get rid of my, when I do not know its roots?” the Fool thinks. Same voice answers again: “Only by letting fear become part of you can you become fearless. Fear it self is not your enemy only the part of you wanting an explanation of the unknown. To find the explanation you must ground your self. To find the high tinder you will need solid grounding.” The Fool closes his eyes and lets his sword lean on his forehead. The sword splits in two and crosses his chest. He can feel how it tightens and threatens to make the fear even greater. Still with his eyes closed he is focusing on the exit with all its many secrets. “My greatest fear is the unknown. The greatest enemy I have is my own imagination. The biggest step in uncertainty is the first. I am afraid, as I do not know. My enemy is loose. First step still has to be taken.” The Fool looks at the moons surrounding the High Priestess, their phase moves unremarkably on whether he follows or not. The lotus flowers on the pillars witnessing insight and inspiration. J for Joachim; beginning. B for Boaz; redemption. The Fool gets a vision; he removes the sword from his chest and looks intensive at the High Priestess who nods and raises from her seat. The exit is now open to him. With no fear he walks through the port, out of the temple, into the future, his future. (to be continued…)

Inana	29 Jun 2003
Wow, Bec! This story is really wonderful. Please, go on with it, im enjoying a lot while reading. This could be a great tale for inquiring children and also for big children like us. Im picturing the drawings in my mind while reading, a little different from the actual cards... Is being very inspiring the way you are writting the fools journey. Thanks for sharing it!

bec	29 Jun 2003
On the other side of the Temple the Fool finds him self standing on a platform. With the wand in one hand and the world in the other he views life. In one direction he sees the ocean with boats that could easily transport him on the seven seas. In another direction he sees the most familiar road as yet in his life, the road home to his family and town. He would very much love traveling the seven seas and explore life right now. He also misses his family and all that once was. The Fool studies the ocean and the road home, the road home and the ocean very carefully. He knows that he have to have mind and heart in control before making his decision. His mind knows that his family is closest by now if he leaves he will not see them in the near future. His heart is telling him that the missing is stronger than the longing and the missing will only grow stronger by a hasted decision. “By following my heart I can have both” the Fool thinks and begins his journey back home. (To be continued…)

bec	30 Jun 2003
As he gets closer to the town he can feel the joy filling his chest. The security of the known is making him happy. He is greeting all he meets with high lifted spirits, a bit confused they greet him back for what happened to him? The Fool sees his home appear. His mother is in the garden hanging up laundry. His father is working in his smith. His little siblings are playing outside the house. “I am back!” he yells and sets of running to be met. No one reacts, the way he would have expected. His mother looks at him and says: “ you are home early today?” The Fool does not understand, “early? But I have been gone for several…” he stops, as he cannot for the world think of just how long he actually have been away. “Have you done nothing but sleep again?? I told you to go and find work!” it was his father, angrily looking at his no good for nothing son. The Fool stands paralyzed, what had happened that did no effect on his family? “Have any of you seen my dog?” he asks as if in a trance. His little sister answers: “It went with you and have not been here since” The Fool looks at his family members, nods and turn to walk the same road he always walks every morning. He does not notice the sun shinning, the flowers blooming nor is he dreaming of what is behind the mountains. He does not see where he walks until a manic little dog is greeting him, jumping and dancing around him with joy of seeing him again. The joy is mutual, the Fool lies down and plays with the dog. “You know what happened” he tells it and it licks him all over the face to answer. After play he sits and thinks it all through. He is disappointed with his family that they cannot see his changes within. “I will find work and make them proud of me” he thinks. Taking the coin in his hand, looking at it: “The beginning of my Empire” and with that thought the Fool walks home to his family. At the dinner table, the Fool, the Father and the Mother are talking about what kind of work would be good to him. His father defiantly thinks that the Fool should become a black smith like him self, as that is the only proper line of work for a real man. His mother thinks that he should become a carpenter, as he is so easy with his hands. The Fool him self would rather go travel, write of his explorations and do paintings but he says nothing, as he knows his father would get angry and his mother worried if he did. Therefore he decides to please them both. He finds work at the local carpenter in the day hours. The money he earns he carefully puts away in an old cookie jar in his room. When done with the day at the carpenter he goes home to his father where he is a student of black smiting. In stolen moments he walks with his little dog to the place where he can find peace, he dreams of mountains, boats, the seven seas and all the rest he have had to put aside. As an artist of the circus he is joggling work and life, as he expects others to anticipate from him. For the first time in his life he feels like a fool who is carefully trying to please everybody on the cost of his own well-being. On one of these small escapes from the treadmill, he sit and daydream as always, he suddenly feels he is no longer alone. The dog does not seem to care and it would have be on the marks at once should something be the slightest wrong. A young woman comes walking towards him, she has not seen him yet as she is all to occupied by the blooming flowers, the reflexes of the sun, the mountains, the butterflies, yes just about anything that can capture her attention. In one hand she holds a cup. The Fool gasps when he sees it and immediately reaches for his own cup to see if it is still there. So it is. “Unbelievable, her cup is almost identical with mine!” He feels drawn to this young woman as he have never seen more beautiful creature in his life. He raises and walk to meet her, already it is if he has known her always. As he slowly approaches he sees that the woman is studying a fish inside her cup, it is swimming and jumping with the danger of jumping out of the cup at any time. The woman is obviously so taken by this little fish, that she do not see the Fool until he is standing right in front of her. When she looks at him, there is no surprise nor fear to detect in her eyes, warmth and love is what is meeting him. The two of them are standing there just staring at each other for a long time – cup against cup they know inside that they are meant to be. Without hesitation the Fool gives his cup to the woman and likewise she gives hers to him. They sit down and starts talking, like two people who have known each other always. It becomes clear to them that their time is not yet. They will have to separate till time is right for them. The farewell is hard, but is done with no grief. An uncontrollable longing fills the Fool’s mind; long enough have he been living to please others – as soon as he duties were done he would move on. One thing helping him to cope is the cup from the page, everyday it is filled with water it is almost floating over. Still it will take years before they will meet again. (To be continued…)

Mimers	08 Jul 2003
Bec, I have been on vacation, but I have finally been able to catch up with you. I noticed how throughout the journey through the majors, you weave in the experiences of the minors! That is so awsome! I saw the 2 of wands, the 2 of pents, the Page of Cups, the 2 of cups. Did I miss any? Perhaps when he goes for his walks and dreams of the seven seas, that would be the Ace of Wands? Can't wait to see more. Mimi

bec	25 Jul 2003
Mimers: you should be able to catch the 2 swords when he is in the temple. Glad you noticed the minors :P Progess is slow as I work 2 jobs for the moment, but here is another full chapter for you.

bec	25 Jul 2003
For 7 long years the Fool worked, in day hours at the carpenter’s and in the evenings at his father’s smith. He does what has to be done and in time his dreams about the 7 seas and the Empire drifts into his own mental swamp. He forgets his soul in the efforts of others content. The farther his dreams are drifting into a never-ever land the closer and more often comes the feeling of utterly dissatisfaction about his life. In fact should he be honest, and you should you know, he really did not see any meaning in getting up in the morning and even less a reason for getting to bed at night. It did not get anywhere. In his drowning mind of despair he decides to visit the town’s ”wise woman”. She is ancient with a young woman’s gloom and eager naivety in her. She rests in her self; she rests in life, in universe. She is life. She is the universe. To meet her for the first time grips his heart in a way he had never felt before, she glows purity, beauty, grace and dignity; every child could have mistaken her to be their very own mother. It is with the deepest sense of respect the Fool seeks out the Mother’s advice. “I have been awaiting you dear Fool” she says sitting on a bench in her garden, “many days I have seen you unhappily dragging your self to the carpenter in the morning and if even possible even more unhappy dragging your self home to the smith in the evening”. The Fool looks at the Mother with a certain amount of astonishment and somewhat sad he asks; “If you truly have been aware of my troubled mind and heart, then why have you not spoken to me yet?” The Mother smiles, pores a glass of nectar for both of them and answers with a comforting voice: “Everything happens in its own paste. The fruits need reaping before picking them.” The Fool looks feebleminded at her as if she was speaking an unknown language to him. He decides to get to the point of his visit right away, as he is really not in the mood for riddles and advises he does not comprehend. “I have lost meaning with the rise of the sun, I have lost meaning with its set and switching places with the moon and stars. I get up in the morning and work all day trying to keep everybody happy, as I truly need them to be. But it is not enough, or it is too much, I do not know which of the ones that speaks the most truth. I am in lack of days and I am not moving anywhere. That is why I seek your advice Mother, what am I to do with my life?” The Mother sips some of her nectar and sees to it that the Fool’s glass is still full. On the edge of anger’s impatience, the Fool opens his mouth to repeat his question. The Mother looks at him with love and care in her eyes, asking him with a firm superior ring in her voice: “What have you accomplished in the last 7 years?” “Nothing!” The Fool makes a gesture that is both stubbornly childish and surrendering. “What have you learned the last 7 years?” The Fool takes a moment to think and then answers; “I have learned the skills of black smiting, I can do anything from a horseshoe to grand foundations. I have learned the skills of carpeting; I can do anything from a sawyers box to a complete log. I have learned that my father is a hard man and my mother is a soft woman. I have learned that soft can take more punches than hard can. And that is it.” “That is a great deal!” the Mother says with a sincere admiration in her voice. “In just 7 years you have learned not just one but two crafts, and even learned on of life’s many mysteries. Not many manage to gain such knowledge and wisdom in only 7 years”. The Fool feels both embarrassed and proud, did the Mother really mean what she had just said? And even if he never spoke it out loud he can see her answer when she nods, sending him a warm and understanding smile. “What are your dreams for the next 7 years?” she asks him out loud. The Fool drinks his nectar, stares at his feet for a while, then turn to the sky, looking out on the field of wheat, desperately looking for an answer somewhere but cannot find it anywhere. At last he looks at the Mother with the answer “I do not know” on his lips, only in the second they gain eye contact he is captured by the Mothers deep blue eyes, in them he sees thousands of lakes and all of the 7 seas, he sees horizons, love, and depth. He remembers his dreams as the day he stood on the platform after having visited the temple of the High Priestess. His face changes and shows vitality and hopes that have not been seen there for a long time. Eagerly he tells the Mother of his dreams about travelling the 7 seas, his reunion with his page of cups, about how proud his parent will be when they send him off on his own not having any doubt of his capabilities. He tells her of the Magician and the High Priestess. As his story grows stronger it is visible that his life force is growing stronger too, drunk of happiness and all ready to go he could conquer the world right this minute they sit here and talk. When the story is almost at the end, the Fool saddens as he realizes that all of his dreams mean taking farewells to loved ones. And there is another thing in this he realizes, he has to many wishes for the future with no clue on where to turn, he want everything to happen yesterday, in reality he feels as if his goals are far beyond reach. The Mother pores the last of the nectar for them. A moment of silence tells her that the Fool is empty. He looks at her, waiting for an answer to the question, which was never asked. The Mother turns and looks out on the field of wheat. “Everything grows in its own paste. This wheat has been sown, it had water and nourishment, and it has been taken care of in the right manners. The farmer knows there is a machine for sowing, another machine for fertilizing and yet another machine for harvesting. He knows he have to sow to harvest and he knows his harvest will be what he sowed.” The Mother takes a small brake still looking out on the field of wheat. The Fool thinks about what this has got to do with his situation. He thinks he has a pretty good idea of what it should mean, but that did not make his goals any easier to reach. The Mother speaks out in the field of wheat again: ”The goal with the wheat is corn, flour and bread. First the wheat must be sown, then it needs nourishment, water and then it is ready for harvest. Then it must be batted, filtered and grounded. Only by then it can be used for baking bread, that is if you have the other ingredient to go with it, as the wheat will not do it alone. The farmer do the sowing and harvesting, his wife does the batting and filtering and the baker uses it as one out of many ingredients for baking bread. They all understand their place and all taking part in the process of reaching the goal, the bread”. The Fool is getting the picture but holds his peace as the Mother have not taken her eyes of the wheat. “When the goal have been reached, the bread is done, there is nothing else to do than eat it. The process takes half the year; the goal is reached in half the hour. It is in the process you live and in the goal you survive” The Mother turns her eyes to him, “See?” The Fool nods, yes he did understand. He drinks the rest of his nectar and takes a warm felt and grateful farewell with the Mother. As he is getting on his way, she tells him; “You know, the nectar we have taken such pleasure of today has taken me 30 years to fulfil? My life has been very rich in the process of making this afternoon very special.” The proud embarrassment is returning to his cheeks by those words, to think that the Mother have taken him, him the Fool, to be so unique, that she would share such a drink with him. With the wheat in his mind, he is taking his leave from the carpenter, telling his family of his plans, time have come to move on. (To be continued...)

The My "Fool's Journey" thread was originally posted on 22 Jun 2003 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.