I understand, but they don't

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 29 Jul 2003, and now archived in the Forum Library.

carrielynnsim	29 Jul 2003
I am having problems speaking aloud to some people. The problem is my communication with them (I believe). It's not with everyone, only the people who don't understand my vocabulary ex: "Internal stife is in your future, avoid being impatient." The seeker will look at me dumbfounded. So, I try and explain then I go on and after the next sentence I get the look again. Long story short, by the time I'm finished with the reading I'm so tired and confused I don't know if I gave the correct reading. Any help would be appreciated! Thanks, Carrie

catboxer	29 Jul 2003
Carrie: I'd suggest doing two things that I do a lot with my high school students, most of whom have a first language other than English. I do a lot of paraphrasing and use a lot of examples. When I paraphrase I'll try to think of two or three different ways to say the same thing. Often, I can see the clouds in people's faces breaking apart as I go through several variations in expressing a single idea. Examples are even more useful. For example (see, I'm doing it again), if the idea you're trying to communicate is "Internal strife is in your future, avoid being impatient," you could say something like, "It's like for instance if you have to make a decision, and you're in like an argument with yourself because it's a tough decision, and it's six of one and half a dozen of the other, and your mind is decided first one way and then the other. But just remember, you can take your time, and you don't have to decide right away, even though the act of deciding is unpleasant and you want to get it over with..." etc. etc. And make sure the person you're reading for understands each idea clearly before you go on to the next one.

Indigo_lady	29 Jul 2003
You know what really works for that? Asian philosophy... Don't worry, I don't mean anything complicated Asian philosophy really teaches you to explain yourself because they use a lot of analogies, examples, have you ever heard the whole "little grasshoper" deal????? Well, since people weren't that instructed academically, but they were perfectly in tone with the nature around them, in order to teach them this masters would use for example analogies for strength in the nature, like a river, and how perseverance finally pays off - a river shaping a stone on its way ... and people would then understand what they were talking about For example, Sai Baba uses analogies with everyday common events in his teachings so everyone can understand him Don't worry.. probably people wouldn't understand if you speak to them about a mountain and a grasshopper, but you'll probably think of something that they can relate to Also, remember that most people understand things better when they *think* or *feel* that they are the ones that have discovered them... That is you're not the one telling them "you need to stop being a scrooge" but when from what you say about how it affects them they on their own think that they come to that conclusion... you know, help them discover on their own..

Armande	29 Jul 2003
I think it's okay to repeat a message if there is one or a few crucial ones in a reading. Just say the same thing in different phrases. Sometimes I do that automatically because the same message is being displayed in several cards in the reading. Another approach that is probably helpful is to relate to sensory input. Some people have a preference for visual input, some for auditive input and some for kinesthetic input (feeling). So in your example if you get a bewildered look in response to your first explanation, try something like: "it is as if your are in a wide open space, you can see nothing around you except in the far distance on the horizon". If that doesn't sink in, say something like: "There is a great silence around you, you can hear only the wind and a some distant sounds". Or: "there is nothing within your grasp for some time to come". Hehe. But I think most people will grasp the concept earlier.

jog1118	29 Jul 2003
using a fully illustrated deck can also help: explaining inner strength in a love relationship with reference to the strength card, you can say: "take a look at the woman holding the lion's mouth wide open; she does'nt seem to be exerting extraordinary effort nor does she look afraid of the lion...that is inner strength in love: you do'nt have to do anything extraordinary for your partner to love you and you do'nt have to be afraid that you will be rejected for what you are" :smoker:

carrielynnsim	29 Jul 2003
Thanks so much for those ideas. I especially like the "grasshopper"!! Anyway, I think I will use the cards for those people who are having the difficulty understanding me. Pointing out the meaning seems like it will help. If that doesn't work i'll try the high school & grasshopper methods.

Kiama	29 Jul 2003
I use the method Catboxer describes: I paraphrase, and give examples. I also use cliches, and well-known phrases, such as "Between the devil and the deep blue sea." "Between a rock and a hard place" Both of these I regularly use to explain some aspects of the 2 of Swords. I also use the images in teh cards to explain what I mean. For instance, if I got the Empress in a reading, instead of simply talking about the 'creativre process', I'd probably go with the images in the card... So: "In this card, the woman is heavily pregnant. Now, this doesn't mean you're physically pregnant aswell, but the pregnancy acts as a metaphor for an idea, or project. So, just as the woman in this card will soon give birth to a baby, so you will soon give birth to an idea or project. However, birth is never easy, and baby-labour is a long, painful process. In just the same way, the process you go through to birth your project/idea may take alot of hardwork, but keep at it and you'll pull through in the end..." The key here is to stick with the phrase 'In this card we see.... ____ and in just teh same way you are..._________" Using this method also means the querent is actually focussing on the cards themselves, and they are more likely to ask questions during the reading and expand on what you say by pointing out things in the cards which they feel applies to them. I hope this helps a bit. Kiama

allibee	29 Jul 2003
Ditto what Kiama said, LOL. It's all about making the reading 'accessible', which means plain English with examples and analogies to flesh out their understanding. An Example based on your original post: You are impatient .... will get an indignant response, most likely Are you impatient .... will more than likely get a negative response However, with a smile: Umm, would you call yourself a little bit impatient ... will probably get a wry smile and an affirmative response .... and then go on to say that this impatience may cause them some unneccessary worry, and that they should remember to hold it in check if they want to avoid an ulcer (with a smile). Just a thought :O)

dadsnook2000	29 Jul 2003
The problem seems to be a Tarot-version of "Astro-speak." As a long-time astrologer I went through that phase where I was well versed in the technical meanings of planets-aspects-signs-houses-phases-etc. but not skilled in using simple language that could communicate complex thoughts. Astrologers could understand me but not clients or new students. With Tarot we have that wonderful advantage (in many decks) of having a picture to start with. As others within this thread have mentioned, we can start with that picture, we can ask what the client sees in that card, we can include a lot of key phrases and commonly used phrases, but most of all, we can cultivate the use of little "for example" stories interspersed with pauses in which the client can respond. We don't have to do all the talking. Good luck, and don't worry -- it's a rite of passage. Dave.

Trogon	29 Jul 2003
Quote: Originally posted by carrielynnsim I am having problems speaking aloud to some people. The problem is my communication with them (I believe). It's not with everyone, only the people who don't understand my vocabulary ex: "Internal stife is in your future, avoid being impatient." Hi Carrie... I hope you won't take this as any kind of criticism... but it does occur to me, when I read your statement, that it sounds like you are mainly using card meanings which you've memorized? This could be why you're having this issue. These meanings are kind of written for Tarot readers in many ways - not the clients. What you might want to consider is writing out the statement of interpretation for each card, then write down some other ways of saying the same things. The excercise of writing them out can help you to remember them. You might also want to visually study the card and jot down any alternative meanings that occur to you. I know for a long time when I would do readings, I was using interpretations I'd memorized from one single book. Like you I found that sometimes my clients didn't pick up on things very well. And many times we would have trouble fitting these canned meanings to what was going on in their lives. But when I started expanding my thoughts on these meanings, how they applied to what was pictured on the cards, and thinking of how the cards and the meanings applied to real life, I started being better able to communicate the ideas to the client. I hope this has helped...

isthmus nekoi	29 Jul 2003
Hi Carrie, I usually tend to ask a lot of questions while reading although I make it clear that the querent does not have to tell me any personal information they don't want to. I also let them ask me questions and invite them to after I've explained something. If they are confused, but won't tell you why.... how can you explain things clearly?

carrielynnsim	29 Jul 2003
Trogon, Actually, I have read a few books and really I don't get into the "meanings" they describe too much. I do read them to see if they bring new perspective, however, I use my intuition above all. I just have trouble speaking what I feel in "simple" (hate to use that word, but I can't seem to find a better one to use) terms. A little background about me: I use to read cards very frequently up until 2 years ago with no problem speaking. However, Aug. 2001 my house burnt down (lost all my things), lived a hotel for a couple months - during which time 911 occured. My family and I moved from Michigan to Texas and started 2 new business. By the end of the year I was feeling dizzy and my arms & legs were numb. By March I was in the hospital with severe chest pain. We decided to move to California to be closer to my parents since the doctors could not find the problem, or a solution. For the next year, my health declined to the point where I sat in a chair until someone helped me get up. My mom or husband bathed me and took care of my children. In March of this year I was reffered to a neurologist at St. Judes Hospital where I received the answer to my illness, hyperventilation syndrome - caused by stress. So, now i'm feeling about 95%. I felt I was missing something so I began meditating. I believed I needed to go back to my Tarot. So here I am... but now I see the cards clearly and understand what they are saying, so do most people I come in contact with, the problem comes where the person i'm reading doesn't get it and I have to explain everything over, over. I have someone coming over today and I know I have to explain things to him. I am going to use the cards to help explain & use examples. I'll let ya know how it goes. Carrie

Kiama	30 Jul 2003
Whilst doing a reading for my 12-year old sister yesterday after writing the last post, I realised I use another technique to get the querent to understand what I'm saying: Stories. Fables. Parables. I was brought up on stories and fables, so it is very easy for me to link in short, meaningful stories to each card. For instance, if I were to see the 5 of Pentacles, I'd think 'The Ugly Duckling'... (The Whimsical Tarot also saw the Ugly Duckling in this card. :D) And I'd tell that story, very quickly, and add at the end something along the lines of "and the moral of that story is..." but obviously not in that cheesy way! Aesops Fables are usually well-known, short, and meaningful, as are many fairystories. I found it most helpful to get teh Whimsical Tarot and Inner Child cards when I was exploring this, as they use fairy stories and nursery rhymes in the cards. Of course, telling the stories to get to the meaning, instead of just saying the meaning straight away, makes the reading a little more fun and memorable for the querent. :D Kiama

Trogon	30 Jul 2003
Quote: Originally posted by carrielynnsim Trogon, Actually, I have read a few books and really I don't get into the "meanings" they describe too much. I do read them to see if they bring new perspective, however, I use my intuition above all. I just have trouble speaking what I feel in "simple" (hate to use that word, but I can't seem to find a better one to use) terms. I do apologize for making an assumption in this, Carrie. :| The phrasing you used in your first post sounded so succinct that I thought they had come from a book. Sorry... I do, occasionally have a difficult time with communicating ideas to a person for whom I'm doing a reading. This is usually when I get some intuitive idea when looking at a card, but I have trouble putting the mental picture into words. Sometimes, just closing my eyes and focusing on the idea, thinking how I would write it down for myself, will work. Sometimes, I just have to go to the next card and come back to that one. Occasionally, I'll end up having to look at my personal notes to be able to focus the idea into words. Oddly enough, I frequently don't even have to look at the notes on that specific card... sometimes all I have to do is just open the notebook.... and it helps my mind put words to the idea. I dunno... sure hope that rambling helped a little. I can sure understand why you'd be having trouble focusing after all that stress. I'm sure glad you're feeling better and I do hope things come back into focus for you soon...

Elle	30 Jul 2003
I detest those types of readings where the querent requires so much of my energy in explantion after explantion, that by the time I am finished I am exhausted. It takes a lot out of me. It is also too time consuming! Elle

carrielynnsim	30 Jul 2003
Trogen wrote this: "This is usually when I get some intuitive idea when looking at a card, but I have trouble putting the mental picture into words." Exactly how i feel!! Anyway, I did my reading yesterday.. and sure enough I got "the look", so I used the card to help explain.... he started laughing and said, "duh, I understand now." The card worked perfectly! Thanks so much for all your ideas and help. By the way, I copied all the ideas, printed them and have them in my notebook, that way if one method doesn't work, i'll move to another. Carrie

Little Baron	31 Jul 2003
I can so relate to what you say Carrie. I look at the cards, the ones I have looked at thousands of times before, and my mind just blanks. I get the feelings but sometimes I can't connect them with words that others will understand. For me, relaxation is a big part of it. You really want to help someone and for them to get something from the reading that I get all tensed up and don't know how to convey what I see. Best wishes with everything; some excellent advice on this thread which I have taken advantage of too. I loved the way that you explained the Empress, Kiama. Yaboot

Logiatrix	31 Jul 2003
Carrie, Actually, I have no new wisdom to add to all that has been suggested here--just "ditto" on the other contributions! :D I do want to give you many kudos for your recovery. It sounds like you are taking your personal challenges and channeling them into a positive force to help others. I commend your spirit... (((carrielynnsim))) :)

carrielynnsim	02 Aug 2003
Thank you for your post Tauni! Carrie

The I understand, but they don't thread was originally posted on 29 Jul 2003 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.