Something Doesn't Feel Quite Right

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 15 Jul 2003, and now archived in the Forum Library.

punkangelgcm437	15 Jul 2003
**Moderators...I looked thru a couple threads on bonding...and I didnt really find any anwsers. Feel free to move this or delete it or whatever becuz it's probably a repeat.** I bought my Goddess deck yesterday...my 2nd deck (and my 3rd is on the way). I had my Moon Garden deck for like 2 years and have always felt close to it. Very bonded. So I take it to Marys and shuffle em and look at em and even cry with them (one of those I miss my ex boyfriend moments)...and had them sleep on the bed with me on the other side. *BUT* I'm not feeling very connected to them. I always carry them in my purse (Moon garden) & Goddess is no except. She's been in there with me while I shopped (she liked the earrings I got I think)....but...it's just not clicking. With my Moon Garden I instantly felt connected like it was the twin sister I'd lost at birth or something...and now my Goddess and I dont seem to be connecting emotionally. Talking to her doesnt seem to be helping. And I dont wanna do a reading for someone UNTIL I get bonded. Any help?? ~Sarah~

Umbrae	15 Jul 2003
Now this is MY opinion, so don’t get excited. It’s my belief that the huge issue here, is for you to bond with your deck (not the other way around)…it’s like wrapping your higher self around a different set of images. This can be tough sometimes – you’re used to, and feel comfortable with your old deck. Shuffling helps. Just sit and shuffle while watching TV, flipping a card every so often and not studying – just looking at it. The process of studying each card may not help you develop a comfort level. Remember, each of us is ‘wired’ different. What strikes my chimes may not strike yours. Sometimes with a new deck, I shuffle it…and put it away not to look at it again…then I wait for it to call me…that tugging in the back of my head…”Hey…we’re over here…we wanna play!” Perhaps it’s my higher self saying it’s ready to wrap itself around a new set of images… Enjoy your deck...

Ruby7	15 Jul 2003
Maybe your bond with your Moon Garden deck is so special and strong that you wont connect in the same way with another deck. Just a thought, Ruby7

waterdreamer	15 Jul 2003
it's proabley that you've worked so much with your other deck that your just not use tothe new ones yet.i find that i'm still closer to my first deck, so much so that i gave away two of my other decks because i just didn't bond with them. some people are meant to work with many decks and then some of us(i don't know if you classify as this but)can only bond with one deck. i hope this helps monique

jog1118	15 Jul 2003
my first deck was the tarot nova (miniature). in 2 days time, i was confident enough to read for others. my second deck (and currently my regular deck) tarot of the hidden folk was a toughie. took me 3 - 4 weeks before i was bonded. what helped me bond with it was my daily self-readings and individual card study. i believe, eventually you'll "befriend" your new deck... good luck :smoker:

punkangelgcm437	15 Jul 2003
Thanks yall for your responses. So quick too. I think I just need to give it more time. More time so we can bond and get the vibes off eachother. I did something kinda strange...but thought it might help. I layed all the Goddess cards on my bed...and then laid the Moon Garden corresponding card on top of it. More time, more shuffling, and maybe the chemistry might not be right. Waterdreamer--you never know I may be a 'one deck only' type of girl. But Imma give it a try cuz she's such a pretty deck. ~Much Love~ ~Sarah~

truthsayer	16 Jul 2003
i love my moon garden deck, too but i think the goddess deck is a different kind of deck. the mg is based on a fantasy world but it is reminiscent of the rws deck. it's not too hard to learn. for me learning the goddess is harder. it helps to know the mythology behind each goddess in order to work well with the deck. plus the court cards are set up differently than it is in rws style decks. it's been a while since i've looked at my deck but it seems that there are no kings or if there are the queen outranks the king--afterall, this is the goddess deck. i think moon garden is a more intuitive deck than the goddess. you've got to learn a new symbol set up and the meanings are going to be somewhat different than rws. i have problems reading it myself and i learned from a rws deck. i'd say lighten up on yourself and give this deck more time. it requires a different kind of learning than the moongarden. being familiar with goddess myths will also help you. it's a really neat deck but works on a different wavelength. it's more intellectual and not as emotional as the moongarden. not that either is good or bad. i've been reading for a very long time and i still have problems switching over to decks set up differently than a rws deck. do as umbrae suggests but also study it some, too. try not to push yourself too hard in your eagerness to learn it. you can do it!

full deck	16 Jul 2003
This is a method I use for meditation and practice and I imagine it would help in developing your "bond". First put your deck in order and then start with the major arcana only. On a flat surface, deal out the majors in rows, lining them up under each other (first try a 2x11, then a 3x7, 4x5, and so on) until you have dealt them all out. Hold the extra cards aside if you wish just to make the rows and columns even. Each time you deal out the cards, follow the columns from top-down and try to create a story (narrative) about each column, focusing upon the individual card meaning and then in context to the other cards in the column and their progression in the column. One might also contemplate the numerical meaning of each row if one studies numerology and its application therein. The same can be done for the minors and eventually for the entire mixed deck. This technique is very much like the old technique used by students of the Torah who would push a pin through the Torah and make a verbal commentary that would link each verse that had been pierced by the pin with one another. The only thing left about this technique that I can only mention in passing is the proper function of one's imagination in creating the narrative. If one reads what Mamonides says about "imagination" in the "Guide for the Perplexed", then they will understand this better.

Little Baron	16 Jul 2003
Hi Punkabelgcm Maybe you are not connecting with the deck because you are trying to hard and it is blocking blond. Sometimes, I want to get to know a deck really well and I focus really hard. I actually do more harm than good. I understand that it is frustrating. I have a number of decks that are unused and are sitting tucked away . I would love to bond with them but at the moment, I feel no connection.. The Thoth is one of those. I want to be able to understand it because I hear so many great responses, but at the moment, it feels cold. There will come a time when I have nothing to do for a week or have a holiday. I will take my deck away and also the Crowley Tarot book I bought to go with it and we will spend some time getting to know each other ... until then, I don't think I will force it. Besides, it isn't going anywhere. This sounds kind of odd but just an idea. I like what you say about laying them out together. Maybe every couple of days you could draw a card from either deck. Think of it as introducing an old friend to a new one. What conversation would the two cards have. What would one tell the other and advise them? How do their energies flow naturally together? Just an idea .... hope it helps. Yaboot

Myrrha	16 Jul 2003
Hi Punkangel When I get a new deck I do a lot of "sorting". Have you ever noticed that pre-school children love to sort things? It is that kind of sorting, not really studying but just coming up with random categories such as "all the cards that have flowers on them" or "all the cards where the figure faces left". Then I might sort out the cards that are most and least appealing to me at the moment. Do you know anyone who has the Froud Faeries deck? The book for that deck has wonderful exercises and intuitive mini-readings for bonding with the cards. They would work with just about any deck. Myrrha

Chronata	16 Jul 2003
Hiya! I wouldn't be so worried about whether or not you are bonding just yet. Sometimes it's O.K to do readings even when you are not bonded with the cards....think of them as conversations with a new aquaintance. you have plenty of time to become friends later...as you get to know her.... The Goddess deck really is a beautiful deck, and I can see why you would want to use them right away. I understand not being able to bond...or even get along with a deck. But I do hope that the Goddess deck becomes another one that you can work with in time! I have several decks that it took months...and in one case Years to bond with! And I hope you and the Faery Wicca can be close friends too! (she's got that strong accent, but I think you will be able to overcome the language barrier!) Peace and hope! Chronata

punkangelgcm437	16 Jul 2003
*Robyn..* Yes she does. I feel she has a strong presense about her too...strong personality. Me & her will get along just fine. Somewhat Firey...love that. Balances out Moon Garden's gentle sweetness. Did you notice the Knight of Pentacles is just about the cutest looking guy on a tarot card you've ever seen. I have. He's dreamy. OMG I'm going into a Backstreet Boy type moment again. Hold on. ::happy sigh:: All better. ::smiles:: AND The King of Cups has *DOLPHINS* in the backround. yay! I love dolphins soo much. I actually sorta collect them. *Truthslayer*--yes Goddess does have Kings...but the Queens are above them. It Goes Queen-King-Princess-Prince. Not only have I never had a deck with Princess & Prince (used to Page & Knight)...but I also dont know a whole lot about Mythology. We learned about it in English when we read The Oddessy (spelled right?)...but not enough to have much of a solid foundation. I think it's just gonna take some time. Moon Garden is very much so a intuitive, emotional based type deck. Great type for me since that's really all I have. Thank you for your encouragement. :) *Yaboot*-- I thought my lil idea was pretty cool too. I let them lay there and talk and listen to Mandy Moore (I absolutely love her...she is such a great actress. Cant wait til her new movie comes out on Friday ::happy dance::). I let them sleep with me last nite on my nitetable too. I think they're starting to warm up a bit. *Myrrah*-- Yes sorting does sound like a good idea. Looks like something to do here when I get off the computer (12 hours later..LOL just kiddin). I tend to put my cards in order sometimes after they've been handled by alot of other people within a short amount of time...like sleepovers. Everyone wants to hold em and shuffle em and get readings and such. *I* just feel better when I do that. Makes me happy. But the idea of 'flower' cards , 'rainbow' cards, 'cute looking guy' cards (ok...a bit of a stretch...come on I gotta make it interesting right? LOL)...that's all a good idea. *Full Deck*--also like your ideas of rows and columns with stories. Probably something I'll do after I sort them into rainbow & flower type cards. :) Thank you all for your replies and ideas. I do appreciate it. And I'm sure my Goddess deck will appreciate it too. Time for her and me to have some bonding time. Maybe a reading for myself? ~Much Love & Hugs To Yall~ ~Sarah~

Trogon	17 Jul 2003
Howdy Sarah, You've gotten some very interesting suggestions already here. I would like to second the idea of simply giving yourself a little more time with your new friend. The forming of a new friendship, that bonding you're speaking of, takes place at different rates for different people. Sometimes you meet someone and immediately you hit it off and it's like you've been best friends forever. Then again, it might take a little while longer, but will grow into an increadibly strong and long-lasting friendship. Continue to work with and get to know your new friend and let her get to know you... it should work out just fine. And if it doesn't, perhaps there is someone else who you know who is destined to have this deck and you will end up trading it or gifting it to someone. Personally, I love my Goddess Tarot. It wasn't quite an immediate bonding, but I did feel that we were "getting along together" pretty well right from the first. Hope this helps...

MeeWah	17 Jul 2003
PunkAngel: Like any relationship, each deck is different. I have found that just plunging into the waters (so to speak) & using the deck in spite of any apparent reticence helps & may be used in addition or in the absence of other methods of getting acquainted.

The Something Doesn't Feel Quite Right thread was originally posted on 15 Jul 2003 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.