feedback from querants 'poll'

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 02 Nov 2003, and now archived in the Forum Library.

punchinella	02 Nov 2003
Hey guys--I have a general question for everyone. How did you feel, the first few times you posted readings on the reading exchange? --In regards to the sort of feedback you got from querants, that is? & how do you feel now? --What sort of ratio of pos. to neg. feedback do you typically receive? I've posted 3 readings now, & 2 times out of 3 I've gotten the distinct impression that q. disliked, or even resented, the reading as I presented it. In regards to my latest reading, I can understand the problem: my reading was just dead-on wrong . . . But the first reading I did was about the future, & in response to a specific question, so there's no way q. could have known it was wrong. I just don't think he liked it . . . at all . . . I'm wondering how often one can expect very negative feedback. If the consensus is, not often--then I'll know to look for something specific in my manner of reading, or of writing up what I read, that might be putting querants off. I suppose I have another question too--about the difference between reading in person vs. on-line . . . In the dead-on-wrong reading that I just did, I can't help but wonder if cues from the querant herself would have helped to guide me more effectively, had she been sitting in my kitchen with me as I read? --Is 'live' reading any easier in this sense than reading on-line? (I've never done it--well, once, & that too was a disaster . . . ) --Any guidance here?? P.

lunalafey	02 Nov 2003
I'm not sure how many readings I have done in the exchange, so I can't give you any numbers. I get pretty good feedback most of the time. But I have gotten a few- "thanks- ....you have given me something to think about." ......your reading has been helpful." .........etc. but not to many. I wonder about those readings. Why did they get a "little" response? When I do readings (in exch), I sometimes go with my second thought. I doubt my first impressions. I guess sometimes I think- oh....that's just to (?) outragous to be real. I do better with face to face, but I know these peoples lives a little better and that helps. I think reading on-line with 'strangers' can be a really good test of one's ability to pin-point the message in a reading. with my weakness, I remind myself- go with the flow.....

Moongold	02 Nov 2003
Hi Punchinella, It 's a Reading Exchange and if you have questions about the feed back, you can ask the Querent for clarification. In fact that kind of dialogue is not only interesting but a great aid to learning. You can say what kind of feedback you want when making the arrangements for the reading. You have done just three readings which is not a lot. You could do many more in addition to your regular study of the cards. With each one you will become more confident and you'll find that people will seek you out to get readings! After reading this thread I went back and read all three readings again. I think the initial feedback you received was succinct but very valuable, and the other feedback you've had has been quite extensive and favourable as well. I think you are a comparatively new Reader. Keep going and keep it simple and keep studying, reflecting on the cards. It is really hard at first but hopefully it can be fun as well. You have real highs and lows as a new reader. The first few readings I got some great feedback on. And then came one that I didn't get any at all. Gulp.... A few weeks later I PM'd the person who apologised and said my reading must have been referring to something in the future. I later learned that was code for way off beam, and I slunk away in dismay because that particular one had just flowed and I felt really proud of it. What a bummer - took weeks to recover. That was just over 12 months ago, and I have since discovered that the extramarital relationship I'd seen in the reading had in fact occurred, and was happening at the time. So I was not wrong.... There was no satisfaction in that though. It just shows how vulnerable we are and the vagaries of feedback. Three readings is not really enough to make a judgement. Keep going and ask the same question in six months and 20 more readings :) Moongold

Marion	02 Nov 2003
Hi punchinella, I have had some feedback that was a polite version of "And what were you smoking?" and yes, it does give you some serious self-doubt. Especially if the reading felt 'right' at the time. Sometimes the querent just plain doesn't like the answer, it wasn't what they wanted to hear (reference Moongold's experience with the the extra-marital situation). And sometimes you just didn't didn't get it right and sometimes that happens. Phase of the moon, something, I don't know why. Read umbrae's series, wherein he says how to deal with various situations, including staring blankly at the layout before you http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/articles/process_introduction.html And don't give up, keep trying. Reading Exchange is for people to practise their skills, and querents who sign up know they get various experience levels.

punchinella	04 Nov 2003
Thanks everybody, I probably shouldn't have even started this thread . . . only, I was very upset at the time, feeling like I had just totally failed in a reading . . . in other words, emoting & making oh-so-much of oh-so-little . . . I've since figured out (?) that everyone fails sometimes, & it's only just starting to sink in that reading ability may require--gulp--practice . . . loads & loads & loads of practice--gulp gulp gulp-- Also, between last night & tonight I think I may have become humble enough to finally hear what people have been saying, over & over again--about starting small, with 3- rather than 10-card spreads . . . Really, what am I doing worrying about feedback--it's out of my control! The only thing really worth worrying about here should probably be reading ability . . . because that I can control (well--maybe someday--I can hope to control it--???) Thanks for the encouragement, though, & I'm sorry for flipping out starting a thread & demanding attention--just because of a momentary bruise . . . --Yours, in embarassment-- P.

Diana	04 Nov 2003
Sometimes it is very hard to give immediate feedback. And often, the more the reading is spot-on, the more difficult it is for the querent to give it. Because it takes time to adjust to the new light that has been shed on the matter. It's really like when one turns a light on in a dark room. At first one has to close one's eyes because it is blinding. Holmes did a reading for me about two months ago. I have still not been able to give proper feedback, because it shook up so many things in me. Also some of it made me so damn scared that I decided to put that part away until I felt I could handle it. I know the time is soon ripe. Lunalafey did a reading for me a few weeks ago which I didn't quite understand at the time. In fact, I felt like saying "thank you... I do not understand this yet, but I sense strongly that it is true." But I tried to give some more concrete detail. However, it is only now that I feel that I could provide her with more proper concrete feedback, because at the time, it didn't all make sense to me. Now it does. Readings are often about the future. How can you tell someone "yes, you're right", when we still haven't reached that point in time? In resume: I think everyone should give feedback on readings. That is correct and polite. But it is not always possible to give detailed feedback immediately.

DeLani	04 Nov 2003
Hi Punchinella, Don't be discouraged. Reading over the internet is next to impossible - you don't have any sensory clues to put your impressions/intuitions into context with. I don't do readings unless it's face-to-face, because I feel the energy exchange in an in-person reading is a vital part of it. So, don't feel discouraged. You are trying to do something that even very experienced readers can't do! :)

Mystic Zyl	04 Nov 2003
Hi, I have never done readings on this forum, however I have done many in person. I will tell you that some people cannot hear the truth, and will say what you are saying is not correct. Then you find out from other sources you were correct. Ironically one woman I read for that told me I was wrong, hired me to do a party at her home for her friends, hmmm.

Alex	06 Nov 2003
There is a rule in science that is valid for Tarot as well: hypothesis that predicts everything explains nothing. For example: tomorrow the temperature will be between 15 and 35 degrees celcius, partly clowdy, with possibility of showers during the day". How does it help you to dress up in the morning? Now, it is potentially 80% accurate. Conversely, if I say: tomorrow the temperature will range between 25 and 30 degrees celcius with a tunderstorm around 3:00 PM and sun shinning before and after the storm", that helps you decide what to dress in the morning: dress for warm weather and carry an umbrella. Many readers protect themselves from negative feedback by writting a page full of general statements that are valid for most human beings. On the other hand, if you want to be honest and make a certain number of predictions, and be of some help, you have to risk going wrong. I used to get "better" feedbacks when I started, in because I used to make use of broad statements of psychological impact that are broadly valid. Recently, I've been trying to cut the b.s. and be more precise... and obviously I'm wrong more often now than I was before. Now on feedbacks: I think we have to learn to read between feedbacks' lines too. I recall one of my first feedbacks, very "good", very detailed too, mostly to show me how right I was etc. , but it became quite obvious to me, upon reading it, that the person was so desperate for advice, that she interpreted what I had said in a very particular way: she adapted her situatin to what I wrote so well! She didn't know that, in fact, I was way more "off" than she'd perceived! Sometimes we can be way off and dead on, in the same time. Also, some people are too polite to give negative feedback, so they say "Great reading, dead on: you are right when you say that I will have to die one day!". So I read these feedbacks and think to myself "gosh I wish they told me where I went wrong!". Diana has a point in that time is needed to absorb readings and let them unfold. A negative feedback today may turn into a positive one tomorrow, but few people come back to say "you were right in 1967, when you did that reading for me". Take care Alex.

The feedback from querants 'poll' thread was originally posted on 02 Nov 2003 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.