What was your worst experience when reading for another?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 14 Nov 2003, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Jen	14 Nov 2003
When I first started studying tarot I was using the Osho Zen deck. I offered to do a reading for a friend, mostly so I could get some practice in. At that time in her life everything seemed to be going ok for her. But my reading showed the exact opposite. It showed that when it came to the man she was in love with, she was projecting onto him in a huge way. In general the spread was very challenging or "negative". The outcome showed that although she thought everything was going fine, there was intense pain or disaster right around the corner. Being new at tarot I just blurted out whatever came to mind, while also referencing the book. I wasn't able to give any details of what I thought was going to happen, just bad stuff in general. She was a bit shaken by the reading, especially the part about projecting onto her lover, but since I was a beginner I think she didn't take it to seriously (or at least that's what I hoped). When I was done with the reading (it took me quite a while) I asked if she wanted a "recap". She looked at me like I was crazy and said "no". After the reading I felt horrible. I realized what a negative reading I had given her and I felt like I wanted to run out of her house, I was really embarrassed. So I abruptly left. I felt badly that before the reading she was happy and after the reading she was in a daze or a funk. I definitely could have used more tact during my interpretations. Almost a year later I found out that in the six months after the reading she and her lover separated, she became bed ridden with a variety of illnesses for several months and her 22 year old son committed suicide by over dosing on drugs. So, even though my reading seemed to have some truth in it, the actual reading was really rough and embarassing to me. So I didn't read for another person for a long time. What's your worst reading experience ?

Dark_angel	14 Nov 2003
My worst experience would have to be reading for my (now ex) flatmate. I did two readings for her, one for her relationship (a very serious issue) and one for her deceased cat (more lighthearted). I worked really hard at them, and they seemed to me to be quite good, and at the end, she just started laughing at me and saying how stupid all of "this rubbish" is. I felt crushed and hurt, because if she'd felt that way, why did she want a reading? It also made me question if I could read at all. In retrospect, it was the first sign that the two of us weren't suited to living together, and we now don't stay in contact. It wasn't that she didn't believe, it was that she turned my beliefs into a joke.

Chronata	14 Nov 2003
The worst readings tend to be the ones I do for people I don't really know all that well, who get my name and number from a client who I do know. These are the ones I dub Those Who Do Not Listen. I can do a reading for them...usually with 15 cards that takes an hour or so, and try to make everything as clear as possible. Shortly after the recap, they will invaribly ask me many questions that I thought I had already answered. So I will point out again, all these things I have just said(with visual aids, no less!) And they will keep asking the same questions. So then, I will reprase my answers, saying, essentially the same thing, but using different words. So then they ask me a round of new questions that I have also already answered. So then I point out the symbolism, and go further in depth to explain why these particular cards mean these particular things... Then they will start telling me thier life story, which is exactly everything I have just seen and touched upon, and then go back to asking me the same first questions again to see if anything has changed, in the last hour or so since we started. occasionally, I will reshuffle, throw down new cards and tell them the same things I just told them. Sometimes, I pretend like they didn't just tell me thier life story, and retell it back to them as if I am seeing it in the cards. These clients are almost always women who are asking about thier abusive boyfriends who have fathered thier children, and are either doing illegal things, cheating on them or in jail. These are the readings that I really dislike to do, because no matter what I say, nothing will stick. Sometimes they will try to come back a week later for another reading with more money for me, but I usually tell them no. There is another type of reading I don't like, which usually occurs during a party or psychic faire. There is a succession of people i read for that burst into tears. They often say that the crying is acyually a good thing, and a release for them, but it makes me feel so rotten.

skytwig	14 Nov 2003
Interesting thread.... Jen... you were right on the mark with that reading, weren't you? Sounds like the Universe was giving her a 'heads up' on the matter.... How do you feel about it now? (Do you 'self judge' less about it?) My worst reading was for a friend who was entering a time of self destruction..... She pushed and pushed me to do the reading and when I laid out the cards, my heart sank. I told her what I saw. I pointed out the incredible importance of self honor; that she was being called to go deep in her self. The cards were screaming..... She refused the insight and went on to a five year adulturous relationship. I pulled away from the friendship for that time and recently our paths crossed..... She was still 'toxic' and wanted another reading.... I told her I wouldn't do it because we would get the same information as before and she needed to pay attention to that one..... amazingly, the woman listened this time.... "Course, I wasn't holding back either or cushioning what I see in her life. I told it was so sad seeing her betray her Spirit..... Sometimes, we are called to give what may seem 'dark' information.... but we should not fear the Shadow.... that is what the Moon card is all about.... if we can reflect to the reader, not so much what they want to hear, as what they need to hear... maybe, just maybe, that is what they 'want' to hear ..... deep inside.... I don't cushion what I see in the cards..... if it's there and I'm seeing it.... well it's there for a reason and NOT for me to hide.....

lark	14 Nov 2003
Quote: Originally posted by skytwig I don't cushion what I see in the cards..... if it's there and I'm seeing it.... well it's there for a reason and NOT for me to hide..... I'm not a sugar coated reader either. One of my worst experiances was with a mother who came for a reading because she was hoping that I would tell her that her daughter was making a big mistake by moving in with her boyfriend. I could not tell her that. The cards said this mother was verbally abusing the girl and that it was in the girls best interest to move out. That the girl would find her wings and go on to be very self sufficient and successful. The boy friend was a very nice guy and not the evil demon the mother was making him out to be. This woman was as mad as a hornet. She wanted to take home a disasterous reading to scare her daughter with and I wouldn't play along. Oh well, no skin off my nose. I was true to the cards and myself and that's all that matters to me when I'm reading the cards. Chronata, your post made me smile. Been in that siuation so many times myself. That's when I hand them the bowl of rocks!

Star Spirit	14 Nov 2003
Great stories (in a very bad way). I haven't read for a lot of people yet but I'm dreading that 'worst experience'!

ros	14 Nov 2003
I did a reading once for a relative. This person had the upper hand in everything in his life but spiritually, nothing. So as he sits with his new girlfriend ( & now wife) I had the 2 cups come up & was telling him about this relationship that he was having troubles with, also about people that showd up etc.( I thought that bum he's got another girl friend again for the 1000 time. )About a month later he came to see us because his girlfriend found out that he had a girlfriend. I knew it when I seen the card but he's always had girlfriends so I just thought it was his personality. But that was a good conformatin for me. The last time I did his reading (& his wife reading) the first card that turned over was THE DEVIL in reverse! I just laughed & I bet you all know what I thought! LOL

Jen	14 Nov 2003
Skytwig, After finding out all the calamities that took place in my friends life, I didn't feel as bad about the reading I gave her and I feel as you do - that the universe was giving her a heads up. I do tend to self judge, especially when reading for others in person. I feel like I have to "perform well". I don't read for others in person that much right now, but I'm working on just keeping my energy light and not getting too serious with myself while reading for others.

Alex	14 Nov 2003
first time I read for him, right in the beginning of our relationship. I did a star-spread and there were the King of Pentacles in the middle, surrounded by 3 out of the 4 Queens in the deck. Other cards present were "XV-The Devil", and "XIII-Death". I was totally distracted, jealous I would say, by that image of "my" man surrounded by "other" women, as I saw it at the moment. I don't know what was up with me that day, but that is what happened. Alex.

Mystic Zyl	17 Nov 2003
When people start to cry. I know I got to the truth when it happens, so I hope they will heal. I always try to make my readings spiritually uplifting.

Logiatrix	17 Nov 2003
When I was first learning, I ventured away from my trusty RWS and started on my brand new Zerner-Farber. I also ventured away from the safety of family to do readings out in the cold, hard world. ;) I did a reading for a co-worker, and went completely blank on one card, then another. Fortunately, I was such a Foolish newbie that I was able to shake it off and continue over the cliff! :D I thought that was the worst that could happen... :eek: A couple months ago, I did a reading for a friend. Now, I'm used to reading anywhere, for anyone, no problem. But as I went further into my friend's reading, she began arguing with me. She finally told me that it totally contradicted a reading she'd gotten the day before from her PAYED PSYCHIC reader (emphasis hers). I didn't say anything at the time, as I was a bit flabbergasted, but later I thought of all kinds of snipey things I thought I should have said...now I'm glad of the way I handled the situation. I did tell her that I don't claim to be psychic, and as a friend, I chose not to charge her. I also suggested to her that she stay with whatever reader she trusts and feels she gets good readings from, but I personally did not feel comfortable with being openly compared to another reader. I also snuck in the comment that I thought the other reader tended to tell her what she wanted to hear (an opinion that I'd been keeping to myself for a while). }) A few weeks later, she commented in casual conversation that she wasn't going to that reader anymore. She left the statement kind of open-ended, but I did not offer to read for her, and she has not directly asked. After the initial sting, I realized that there was a lot in that scenario to examine. I now believe that, although the whole experience was extremely unpleasant, it was also necessary. It helped me to clarify for me exactly what kind of reader I am. It also helped me to realize that different querents seek readings for different reasons. Ultimately, the situation guided me to continually be aware of my responsibilities as a reader. There have been other threads about our responsibilities as readers, and this incident has made me pay attention when the subject comes up. I think these negative occurences open our awareness and ultimately strengthen our abilities. :)

tarotbrat	17 Nov 2003
well i decided to do a spread for a co-worker at the time and i decided to do a spread that was far to advanced for me that i had just learned from a friend at that time. well she had spoken of wanting to get pregnant again, but when i laid out the cards i told her that she would not be getting pregnant anytime soon, well we both found out a little later, that she was pregnant about 3 months along. well she was good humoured about it and we both laughed, but it was still very embarrassing.

firestorm	18 Nov 2003
I feel so mean after reading this thread. Unfortunately for some, I'm a no-nonsense kind of person, in general. If I think a reader is after ammunition to prove they're "right" about something, I'll address it. I've even gone as far asking my SIL if she wanted an honest reading or if she wanted to be told she's right. })Sometimes when confronted with their manipulative sides, people will settle down a bit to actually listen for a change.

Aerten	19 Nov 2003
My worst experience was at a summer camp I went to... I read for a girl because she "accidentally" saw some of what I'd written in my journal and noticed it was tarot-related. She said she was curious about it, so I told her I'd read for her. Her question was about why her relationship with her boyfriend wasn't working and why he seemed to be avoiding her. She said she thought it was because he was cheating, but the reading came up to show that it was really this girl who was at fault: she was being paranoid and obsessive, and causing this fellow great emotional problems. Needless to say, even though I tried to water it down, things were still a little awkward for the rest of my stay...

Star Spirit	19 Nov 2003
I feel for you all! I dread the day I have to give an unfortunate reading to someone. Never really thought about that possibility until I read this thread haha...

Original Destiny	20 Nov 2003
I had a young lady come for a reading, her mother insisted on sitting in. the cards were unreadable, i couldnt make any sense of them and put it down to the fact thaty her mother was interfering in some way. I explained that i was unable to make anything of the cards and maybe she should come back on her own in a couple of weeks time. her mother interupted and said that was not acceptable. She nudged her daughter and said "go on tell him!" the young lady said that she had till the end of the week to decide whether to have an abortion or not and wanted me to tell her what to do. i tried to explain why i couldnt do this but her mother got quite cross with me. I had to ask them both to leave. this wasnt the end of the matter because her mother phoned a couple of weeks later, she appeared quite distressed and needed to see me right away. i did her a reading which showed her receiving money owed, but the money would come at a price. she was amaised because she was after the money she had loaned to her ex-partner. She was in hiding at her daughters because her ex was a very violent man. she could well see herself getting a good beating....she informed me that this man was a strongarm man for a big time criminal and had killed several times....by now my inbuilt alarm was screaming and i wanted to get rid of her as soon as possible... i had visions of him knocking on my door....I now only take clients on recommendation and never at my own home

Jen	20 Nov 2003
Quote: Originally posted by Original Destiny She was in hiding at her daughters because her ex was a very violent man. she could well see herself getting a good beating....she informed me that this man was a strongarm man for a big time criminal and had killed several times....by now my inbuilt alarm was screaming and i wanted to get rid of her as soon as possible... i had visions of him knocking on my door....I now only take clients on recommendation and never at my own home This sounds likes somthing out of a movie. I'm not sure if I'd want to help this women or just not take her calls.

mzmystic	23 Nov 2003
Tarotbrat, your reading was right on because she wasn't going to be getting pregnant for quite some time------you can't get pregnant if you're already pregnant! So your reading was right after all.

Star Spirit	23 Nov 2003
Quote: Originally posted by mzmystic Tarotbrat, your reading was right on because she wasn't going to be getting pregnant for quite some time------you can't get pregnant if you're already pregnant! So your reading was right after all. Good point.... :D

Majecot	26 Nov 2003
My worst experience was with my friend who was just recovering from a mastectomy. It was several years ago, when I had gotton my first deck , and she wanted me to read her cards. I objected because I was too new and she insisted. the cards told a very sad tale. don't remember the exact details, but what I do remember was the hardship she was facing with her health, financial problems and her marriage were all laid out with in the spread. This was about 7 years ago, her husband lost his job, she lost her job, went thru months of home health care due to problems with her surgery, they almost lost their home and her marriage fell apart. Now she is finally starting to put her life back together, on her own. I really wanted to be able to give her something positive in her reading but it was not there.. I haven't read for her since, and now she wants me to again.. I think that is part of the reason why I don't like to read for other people.

Indigo Rose	27 Nov 2003
The worst reading I ever did was for this woman I worked with, but did not know socially. One night on a break she asked me to read for her and to my shock the cards indicated she was caught between 2 men: the King of CUPS and the King of SWORDS. When I saw this I had to think carefully about how to explain what I was seeing there; I told her that I saw 2 men in her life that she was dividing her time between, and she said..."yes" and explained she was married, but had a man that had become her best friend. I asked her what sign her husband was: LIBRA, then what sign her best friend was: SCORPIO. This spoke to me as these are certainly represented by the court cards that were showing. I felt even more uncomfortable because the King of Swords was paired with the 4 of cups. It was an uncomfortable position to be in because I felt I had discovered something deeply personal and felt as if I was intruding; which was awkward because of our casual relationship that primarily revolved around work. She seemed a little surprised by the reading. She explained to me that she had been married for 18 years, and that she couldn't talk to her husband anymore. She had found a friend who would listen: THE King of CUPS. After this inicident I decided not to read for co-workers anymore.

catti	27 Nov 2003
Quote: indigo rose wrote: The worst reading I ever did was for this woman I worked with, but did not know socially........ It was an uncomfortable position to be in because I felt I had discovered something deeply personal and felt as if I was intruding; which was awkward because of our casual relationship that primarily revolved around work. She seemed a little surprised by the reading. She explained to me that she had been married for 18 years, and that she couldn't talk to her husband anymore. She had found a friend who would listen: THE King of CUPS. After this inicident I decided not to read for co-workers anymore. Quote: Majecot wrote: My worst experience was with my friend who was just recovering from a mastectomy........ I really wanted to be able to give her something positive in her reading but it was not there.. I haven't read for her since, and now she wants me to again.. I think that is part of the reason why I don't like to read for other people. I have experienced both of these situations, and both times i felt as you two did. I stopped reading for people i knew for a very long time and used tarot only as a meditative tool. I think these situations underscore the need for responsiblity as a reader. You never know what is coming up in a reading and people ask for readings because they need something , are looking for something. After a few years of not reading and getting more involved in my cards and figuring out who i was in my Tarot world i went back to paid/ or not readings for whomever...I am rambling abit...but what i want to say is both of these examples illustrate why it is important to figure out why you are reading for others before you do it..Tarot is a game but a game in a grand divine sense. BTW Chronata , your post had me ROFLMSSAO, I hate to gender stereotype , but it is almost always girls and their lovelives that do this!!!!

The What was your worst experience when reading for another? thread was originally posted on 14 Nov 2003 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.