Another milestone on the path and a question

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 08 Mar 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

LadyMedusa	08 Mar 2004
In my off line life I am a very shy person. Lately I have been going into a chat room where several readers offer free readings. I have found the annonimity of reading for complete strangers is helping to grow my confidence in my reading skills. Last night, I had a real breakthrough! I did 4 readings back to back and never once did I have the urge to reach for my book. Granted 3 were very easy, uncomplicated, happy cards, but 1 was a real doozie. It started with an unpleasent question and the cards confirmed it no ifs ands or maybes. The querent seemed satisfied with the reading, at the time I felt I gave it my best. Today I am not so sure...( I can be very critical of myself.) Any suggestions to help the reader, when it's time to break the bad news? ( I think it's been a while since this was discussed) LadyMedusa

ros	08 Mar 2004
Just let it flow. Don't think about it just say what you have to say. I find it bothers me when I try not to say what the card is telling me. If I just let it out & find the silver lining it's much easier. We are very hard on ourselves sometimes. Also I've been thinking, it is good opportunity to say it as it is,because it's easier on here to test ourselves, than in person doing readings. Just some ideas.

contrascarpe	08 Mar 2004
LadyMedusa - Congrats on the growing confidence! I am getting there myself, but it is a long hike on that path ....... I haven't run across too much bad news but I usually temper it with the old "freewill" argument. Nothing is set in stone and we all have the ability to somehow affect our outcome. It is probably easier with an online anonymous reading to be truthful, but face to face is another story. At least there you have the benefit of reading the facial expressions and body language of the querent. Dan

Star Spirit	09 Mar 2004
Congrats LadyMedusa! I agree with ros. Just try to let it flow. There is always a silver lining but there's no really good way to break bad news so stressing over it just makes it more difficult. And yes, if it's a bad reading in particular I'll throw in that "no future is set in stone" comment (if it is a future-oriented reading). If it's not, then all you can do is tell it like it is.

Alissa	09 Mar 2004
I totally remember the first time I started doing readings and didn't reach for the book... it was such a wonderful feeling, like everything I had been studying was finally beginning to coalesce in my brain (at last!). Isn't it gratifying, Lady M? As for breaking bad news... I hate doing it myself. But I usually try to keep to the cards, and just deliver the message. There is nothing worse, in my opinion, than sugar coating a bad situation. If your querent is in misery, the last thing they want to hear from you is, "Well, gee the 10 cups reversed... that could be time away from home...." when everything else in the reading is screaming, "Breakup, a divorce, a bad sitaution, violence..." Then, the querent feels nothing has been gained, and the reader has done a "disservice" to their sitter by not passing along the information they most needed to hear. This is usually because as readers we want to "be nice" to people. But it's not nice to tell the sitter, who is in tears, anything less than the truth the cards are trying to say. In the end, even if you give them terrible news, sometimes just having an outside source say, "Your life sucks... you've been through the wringer," is extremely comforting to hear (Even though not comfortable for readers to say). It "validates" their experiences, to use the pop-psych term, and can bring comfort.

ros	09 Mar 2004
I was thinking about what Alissa replied "Your life sucks... you been through the wringer" people do like to here this. I think it helps them move on. e.g.Sometimes when the 6 swords show up I tell people "your making a move to calmer water but what the heck are you taking all those mental thoughts with you, get rid of them." Make light of the "bad cards" & it's what they want to hear, the truth. If they don't want to hear the truth why are they getting there cards read? Also sometimes to get over the bad card look at it in another suite. wands & swords together cups & coins together. e.g. 6 swords getting out of a bad situation will bring 6 wands 4 cups getting out of their situations will bring 4 wands just some ideas

Teranar	09 Mar 2004
I think you're breaking the habit of falling back on a book ect. is great! (Though I never had nor read the books I never had a similar problem) The first time I did back to back readings I was scared of getting it wrong (BUt didn't) and so on, but now I could probably do it all day long with a cup of water, a light liquor, and maybe some asprin. (After a few readings I get a headache.) :O I just sounded like my gypsy godmother! :P Its kinda funny. -Teranar

Alissa	09 Mar 2004
Oh! Teranar~! You should take better care fof yourself while reading! Drink water regularly. You're talking, at the least, and you need it. And by all means, for long reading sessions, basck to back, have something to nibble on, even it's only a Power Bar or something!!! (Who sounds like the Gypsy grandmother now? ;) )

LadyMedusa	09 Mar 2004
Several of you have hit it dead on. My discomfort comes from not wanting to be the bearer of bad news, leaving me with the option of not being honest. Which is as you have pointed out, an honest answer is the reason someone wants a reading. After further thought I also realized that my Q had some idea of what was going on or he would not have asked for confirmation. So it's not like he was being blindsided. I hope it will get easier giving this kind of reading with more practice. Thank you for the replies LadyMedusa

Teranar	10 Mar 2004
Quote: Originally posted by Alissa Oh! Teranar~! You should take better care fof yourself while reading! Drink water regularly. You're talking, at the least, and you need it. And by all means, for long reading sessions, basck to back, have something to nibble on, even it's only a Power Bar or something!!! (Who sounds like the Gypsy grandmother now? ;) ) Hehe, you sound like her, telling me to drink water (At least twice as much as the wine) and take better care of myself. (She once gave me a lecture on how to go through any part of the world and not get shot... in the ghetto, hoodie and baggie pants, Europe whatever, middle east look rich...)

The Another milestone on the path and a question thread was originally posted on 08 Mar 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.