getting through four of cups

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 21 Mar 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

lou	21 Mar 2004
how can someone evolve from a four of cups situation? a friend I really care for is in this four of cups period. he's absent, apathetic, dumb. he has become this way after having gone through a ten of swords painful long period. the strangest thing is whenever I'm with him, I feel like he has his heart closed, kind of frozen, nothing comes out from him, neither good nor bad..! can you help me undertstand? what is the natural evolution of four of cups? or, what can someone do for that? thanks, lou.

ros	21 Mar 2004
Mabee he chooses to cling to the past. He has not become aware that he dosen't have to close his emotions down forever. You could ask him what is he clinging to and why. Also he should not live in the past because you can't see what is offered in the present, & then it will passes him by. He has to start a new path & let go of the old one. Just some ideas.

lou	21 Mar 2004
I suspect you hit the point Ros...! thanks a lot for your precise, sharp insight. I'll think about... :-) Lou.

miss_apples	21 Mar 2004
I think that your friend needs to find something that will make him interested in life again. I see the 4 of cups as representing boredom and just not finding a reason to experience life to its full potential. He needs to find his place again, and that is something that only he can do for himself in the end. He is stuck in a rut...just let him have his time and Im sure he will get back in the swing of things again.

lou	22 Mar 2004
thanks Miss Apples, actually the 'swing of things' you mentioned made me smile, he has become so serious and gravy he looks petrified! I think I'll take him in a good eighties punk rock disco club and force him to a mad dance...

SongDeva	22 Mar 2004
I remember going through something like this. My friends talked to me later about how I'd changed. I remember feeling dead inside for a long time, and wondering at this. Perhaps he's still experiencing pain, as opposed to clinging to the past? Just because the trauma is over, doesn't mean the pain is. Sometimes people take longer to snap back than we expect. Everybody does it in their own time. Speaking of which, this was years ago, and many of my attitudes are only now starting to open up again, at least to the level I'd like them to. I don't recall clinging to the past (very possible I did), but quite honestly, I really was changed, even after I emerged from the actual schock of the event. For quite a bit of time though, I expect I was an automaton.

miss_apples	22 Mar 2004
Quote: Originally posted by lou I think I'll take him in a good in a good eighties punk rock disco club and force him to a mad dance... Ooooooo Can I come with! :)

InvisibleSoul	25 Mar 2004
Quote: Originally posted by ros close his emotions down :eek: That JUMPED at me! I think you just answered a question I posted in the Readings section! THANK YOU!

tmgrl2	25 Mar 2004
Quote: Originally posted by lou how can someone evolve from a four of cups situation? a friend I really care for is in this four of cups period. he's absent, apathetic, dumb. he has become this way after having gone through a ten of swords painful long period. the strangest thing is whenever I'm with him, I feel like he has his heart closed, kind of frozen, nothing comes out from him, neither good nor bad..! can you help me undertstand? what is the natural evolution of four of cups? or, what can someone do for that? thanks, lou. Since it's your friend in the "Four of Cups" situation, maybe you just need to sit there next to him and be his friend...until he is ready to accept what is being offered.... terri

cartarum	27 Mar 2004
at four of cups you can get 3 of swords, or, having a choice in the matter, you can either walk away or face what you are trying to avoid.

Nevada	27 Mar 2004
I wouldn't try to jump-start him out of this. He has to do that on his own. Let him know you care about him even when he's like this. Sit and talk to him, but don't pressure him. He has to do this in his own time. Acceptance will do more for him than a rejection of where he is now. Rejection can just make you feel more lonely and misunderstood. Nevada

smokey	28 Mar 2004
[quote]Originally posted by Nevada [b]I wouldn't try to jump-start him out of this. He has to do that on his own. Let him know you care about him even when he's like this. Sit and talk to him, but don't pressure him. He has to do this in his own time. Nevada, My thoughts X-actly!!! By all means, DO take him to that disco, & dance a couple for me and just BE THERE for him.

MeeWah	28 Mar 2004
4-Cups may be seen as the emotional aspect of 4-The Emperor; to pertain to emotional grounding. Whilst expressive of discontent, boredom, general malaise of spirit or ennui, may also be reflective of a contemplative period or offer that opportunity. Could eventually proceed to 5-Cups wherein he is able to look at his situation--such as the spilled Cups yet also what remains-- instead of not being able to see anything at all. In the 5-Cups, there may be a confrontation or a means of confronting the past circumstances. The process of working one's way through a morass may involve grieving, after which recovery or healing may begin to occur. The non-intrusive support or presence of one or more loyal friends at difficult times can do more to assist than may be evident to turn the tide. Being available to offer moral support whilst waitiing him out is the best one can do as a friend.

The getting through four of cups thread was originally posted on 21 Mar 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.