Advice for Self-Doubter?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 26 Apr 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

contrascarpe	26 Apr 2004
I hope I posted this in the right forum ........ This has been covered before, I am sure, so I apologize for any redundancy. Here is my situation. I have a serious opportunity to read professionally at a metaphysical shop. The people that own the shop are friends of a relative (I know one of them fairly well, but only through that connection and my status as a customer) and I do not want to disappoint them (nor the clientele). I have done many readings here online and a few face to face readings. Unfortunately those consist of doing them for people I know or for people in my tarot circle. For people I know, I tend to have the problem of being jaded - knowing them as I do, I tend to gravitate toward the obvious. I know I will not have that problem in the setting I would be going to. However, when I read in my circle, I have that moment of hesitation where I freeze - almost in fright. I want to be able to sit there and start right in, but I typically need a moment to collect myself. Now I know the reason I feel added pressure in my group is because they know alot (possibly more) of tarot and I feel the extra scrutiny of being with my peers and the need to "get it right" (even though in my heart I know there is no real "getting it right", especially reading intuitively). I have this concern that I will get in front of the querent and freeze - and since they are paying for what in essence will be a timed reading, I don't want to give the appearance that I am stuck or trying to bilk them out of money. Any advice from you pros that will help me get through the first few readings? Thanks, Dan

Alissa	26 Apr 2004
There is a book I read long ago where Stephen King was talking about writing.... He called it "animating the corpse." There's this transition when you first sit down, you're reading the words you've written, they feel stiff and artificial. But then you write a bit more, and more, and more.... and you loosen up the joints and the words start to flow..... Your reading apprehension made me think of the same thing, dan. You're sitting down, animating the corpse, and it's a dead thing dressed up as "Fortune Teller" with a lot of glitter, but behind that curtain is just dan. So dan lays out some cards.... And then... dan gets talking. And then.... dan gets to *seeing* and talking.... (And the corpse comes alive, and dances the danse macabre till dawn....) Just keep breathing life into that corpse. Ignore the fact that it doesnt have a heart beat when you first sit down. Ignore the fact you have to make the words come out for it to talk. Keep talking, even if it doesnt make sense. Keep doing it... and the animation (if you're lucky :D) will occur. I've never seen a corpse "thought" into motion... so I don't think sitting down and "thinking" about what you need to do, analyzation and such, is helpful. If anything, it locks me up. Makes my corpse stop moving and fall down again. And... On a purely personal note.... This happens to me a lot when I read with people I don't know either, dan. You're not alone. Who said that stupid saying, "Feel the fear........?????" (You finish the rest).

Imagemaker	26 Apr 2004
Wonderful advice from Alissa, and I chime in with, just start describing what you see--flow will come. You're only the channel, not the source.

contrascarpe	26 Apr 2004
Wow, great analogy Alissa (I think I have the book you speak of - maybe I should read it). And good advice for my writer's block as well, lol. That is exactly how I feel when I read. I feel like I am telling a story when I read cards and my job is to make some sense of the plotline. It is there for me to see, but even after living through these cards as long as I have, they start off as pretty pictures. Out of fear, I am ready to abandon my intuitive side and start dictating the obvious - two of cups, you are in love....... death, you will change ...... etc. I think what makes online readings more comfortable is that the querent does not see that moment of doubt in your eyes - that is the part I need to get past. Perhaps acting lessons, lol? Dan

Osher	26 Apr 2004
I've read before in a commercial enviroment, and faced that situation where nothing happens, the feeling is cold, dead. As Alissa said, just try! Keep trying to get a connection to the cards. Talk about them, what you see, explain a bit. Slowly the visions, thoughts etc will come. As they come, so the 'wave' starts, and after a while it's more a case of filtering, then finding. Just, try and sound confident, and the way to that is to take charge. You see the Hermit? Discuss the Hermit! Give it time. Once you have calmed down, and are on familiar ground where you are king, then you will feel relaxed, and when you are relaxed, but also in tune with the cards, that is when it will happen for you. Of course, there are the odd exceptions to the rule, and sometimes it is possible not to read for someone, but that is rare.

ros	26 Apr 2004
Don't know if this makes any sense but I thought of this when I read your post Dan. The challenge is between you and the cards. The client is the middle person. You have come this far with your relationship with your cards, don't let nothing slow you down now.When you are feeling any doubt let go of the feeling.When doubt walks in look the other way. Give your best in your readings and you'll only get the best back in return!

lark	26 Apr 2004
Hi dan! Congratulations! What a great opportunity for you! A little practical advice :) I read profesionally every weekend at a Spirit Fair. Off the clock I explain to my client my reading style. I'm an intuitive reader and I often stop and stare off into thin air while I pick up something from the cards... This is just how it works for me. I explain that there are some readers that talk non stop, but that is not my style, and that I might pause a few times and seem to zone out in the cards. Not a single person has ever got up and said "Well then! I want a different reader!!!!" And as a matter of fact I have a big clientele of repeat customers. By following my path I have tapped into a place where I can be very accurate, and my clients look forward to a pause because they've come to know the big stuff comes after the pause. Good Luck Dan.. I wish you all the best! My abilities really took off after I started reading at the fair. There is nothing like it to excelerate your learning and intuition skills.

Alissa	26 Apr 2004
lark's advice is fabulous as well, as usual! :D If you take a moment to tell your sitter, This is how I work... that may put *both* of you at ease. And, when I'm really really stuck on a card, I move forward or backward in the reading. Sometimes a card makes absolutely NO sense to me, until I've had some of the reading's other input colored in. So don't just sit there and STRAIN YOUR BRAIN for a MEANING to pop up if you're blanking out. Just move on, and go back to it. I sometimes say, "This card isn't making a lot of sense to me yet, so I want to look at this one here...," touch the new card, and move into that territory. And, on the times I've utterly and completely been baffled... beyond *repair* baffled... I've asked the sitter. "Does this card suggest anything to you? It's confusing to me where it's at, I'm wondering if it makes any sense to you in an immediate sense?" Sometimes they go... "Yea... that's my mother in law. She's the one whose holding all the money," and I go OH!!!!! (Gee... and I thought all those pentacles were a "job situation" and it's really family). That kinda thing. Just one more trick I've used along the way, if it's helpful.

contrascarpe	26 Apr 2004
Yes - thanks! Those are things I have been thinking of. I tend to take a more laid-back contemplative approach and if I explain that up-front, it will probably help. You hit the nail on the head of my feelings about reading - I am already reacting to how I feel the querent's perception is of what a reader should be. Also, I tend to do the "coming back" to a card in a reading. Sometimes it just doesn't make sense ..... I need to keep things flowing and if that means moving the block for now, then so be it. Thanks to you all for your guidance :) I feel my confidence increasing already. Dan

lark	26 Apr 2004
I do the same thing Alissa. The back and forth reading. I'll also pull a clarifing card if I'm stuck. Many clients love to participate in their reading. Just a few words from them like you said, can open up the whole reading and take it into a new direction. They like when you ask if they had any intuitive feeling about a card when it was pulled. And often they do. We sometimes forget that they are staring at those cards in as much fasination as we are.

contrascarpe	26 Apr 2004
Quote: Originally posted by lark We sometimes forget that they are staring at those cards in as much fasination as we are. And probably with more fascination ..... especially if it is the fourth or fifth reading of the day. That is one thing I already told myself to keep in mind when I do start - approach each reading as if it is the only one I am doing for the day. It wouldn't be fair to go through the motions. I am starting to feel better (and I am starting to come out of my funk to boot! - But if I get the Hermit again tonight in my self-reading, I am going back to bed for two weeks).

The Advice for Self-Doubter? thread was originally posted on 26 Apr 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.