How do you deal with skeptics?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 30 Apr 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

eastarot	30 Apr 2004
Its been a tough day, left me with so many questions.....why do they come for a tarot reading if they think its all nonsense? why do they laugh at the pictures on my deck? why do they deny everything I say and make me feel I must be losing my eyesight? Whats the best way to deal with logic driven, left brained types? Sorry for ranting but if anyone understands, I would really appreciate your wisdom. Thanks eastarot

Cerulean	30 Apr 2004
Maybe it's best to ask them, "Why are you here? For entertainment, to hear a story, to learn something new about yourself?" I'm here because I like the stories that I see that should be related to questions that concern you. If you are coming for a laugh, I'll be glad to be outrageous. If you want to learn something new from my choice of decks, then I'll help you see what I've been taught. But this reading is your time and I want to be helpful." "This reading is supposed to be about you and we'll focus on what's going on--what would you like to discuss?" I can see it to be tough to want to help and then getting laughed at because someone isn't thinking of your sincerity: they are half-hoping one or the other thing. The person coming to see you might be thinking they have a question, half-hoping for another take. But they don't use tarot and so the other half of their mind is thinking what they would tell others. So their uncertainty comes out in the form of denials. Perhaps you are saying pure things in your mind, with pure intentions--but you are nice and relational person, so you wait and see what they want. So they take control by first presenting questions and then the skepticism that they would tell their friends about afterwards. That's my thought...hope it sounds sympathetic and maybe just opening up the conversation might help set the stage? I'm actually thinking of how would a good reading go if I were to do face to face ones with people who were genuinely hopeful for illumination...so I'm trying to picture good things... Take care, Cerulean Mari

HudsonGray	30 Apr 2004
A co-worker did that about my Robin Wood deck, claiming pictures showed bestiality (???) & pointed to the Lovers card & Strength. When I told him what the two cards meant, I asked if he wanted to try a reading on his own, thinking his question, laying the cards down & reading it himself. He did! I think he was too embarrassed to have someone else do it or have anyone else hear what was said, but he jumped at the chance to read for himself, did one, looked up the meanings, then asked me if he could ask the same question again (I said no). He did 6 other questions with 5 card spreads & got real quiet, only had me help with one spread where he couldn't get one card to make sense. I found out later he'd been to the doctor the previous day & been told he was infertile & would have to adopt if he wanted kids, all his readings were about that. Sometimes people are ignorant, sometimes they're fearful, sometimes they're embarrassed, but any of those could cause behavior like you (and I) saw. Just be realistic & don't get flustered, be the 'adult' without apologising & people tend to shift their attitude really fast when they don't get a gut reaction kick back out of the reader.

hedgecub	30 Apr 2004
Yep. A lot of the jeering and snickering is due to insecurity or fear. They might believe in the Tarot to the point where they fear it, and are trying to rid themselves of that fear by ridiculing it. Or they might disbelieve in the Tarot altogether, dismissing it as silly and irrational, but seeing you be so serious about it makes them question their stance, and they need to reinforce it by insulting you or your cards. Or they might simply be bullies who can only find self-worth by putting down the worth of others, regardless of who they are or what they do. I generally only give people as much respect as they deserve, which is usually measured by how much respect they give me. In reading for someone, I am giving them my time and energy, and thus showing them respect. I wouldn't do that for someone who obviously doesn't respect me or respect what I have to give. Personally, if someone was being facetious or mocking, I would simply tell them that if they are not willing to show me respect, then neither am I willing to respect their wish to have their cards read.

MuffinTops	30 Apr 2004
Le_Corsair once said: Try this: Fix the persecutor with a beady-eyed stare; make a small, but elegant motion toward him/her with one hand, and then whisper sibilantly: "De gustibusssss non est dispuTANdum! On your head be it!" Bob I find this hilarious...and useable especially if they are being facetious or mocking...

eastarot	01 May 2004
Thank you all for taking out time to help:). Yes I did get very flustered yesterday by one stoney faced, folded arm skeptic who refused everything I said yesterday till the point I began to doubt myself. I later realised he was terrified. (why come for a reading then?) Thanks & Blessings!

closrapexa	01 May 2004
In my experience, people come to readings because they want to be reassured. Even skeptics. They want to be reassured that they are doing the right thing, that they are living life the way they are meant to. Skeptics want readings to reassure them that there life is all in their hands. The very mention that the cards, or you, may have a different perspective most often seems a hostile idea to them. I suppose I've read for skeptics before, but never for people who weren't going to take the seriously. When people deny, make fun of, invalidate the reading they are showing you disrespect. Myself, I don't expect to bring people over to my side; it doesn't really interest me, but I do expect respect, and that is something that many people don't know how to give.

mj07	01 May 2004
re: skeptics, I have a small story about my best friend. a couple months ago we went to a healing arts faire where they had several different readers, aura, tarot, runes, etc. She went into the whole thing completely skeptical, would just let the reader talk, not give feedback, wait to see if they were "right". The aura reader wasn't very accurate about some stuff (I saw her as well) and my friend dismissed what both she, and the tarot reader told her. Oddly, one thing they BOTH said was that she needs to change jobs, that things aren't going to work out well for her at her current position, which she completely laughed off since this job is relatively new. Flash forward a couple months. In retrospect, she's seeing that both readers were right, and in fact, that the tarot reader was VERY accurate. She's been doing readings for herself here and there, and asked me to do one earlier this week, and they've been echoing what those women told her back in February. Moral of the story? Just do your thing, read for them, tell them what you see. Don't let them make you doubt yourself b/c maybe it's just that they are too closed minded. Give them time, maybe they'll come around.

hyatt	01 May 2004
I think that those people believe but are just too embarressed to admit it.

The How do you deal with skeptics? thread was originally posted on 30 Apr 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.