needing guidance

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 16 Apr 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Delphina Kalika	16 Apr 2004
hi all.... I am a extreme novice at all this.... although I've been reading using the playing card method for about 6 year.. but not all that intensive... I'm not sure i have put this post in the rite place :| but here goes:|:|:| I am in need of some guidance.... I had a rather starange convo with some1 today.. and afterwards felt rather uneasy and slightly angry...:| This person is into alsorts of aspects of this subject.. they are member of a physic circle.. I havent out rite told them that i have gotten more interested in tarot.. ( that i am purchasing decks, books and joined here) but 1 of her friends does no..as i intially went to her for some advice... But today she made it plain that she didnt agree with me getting interested in it... she used phrases like... " it is dangerous if u dont no wot u are doing".... " U can do real damage"..... and the like... I really felt angry that she was directing these coments at me.... She doesnt no that I have always been interesed .. or that I have been for a professional reading.... not even that I have been doing my own readings and my friend's for the past 6 years..(playing card method) she actually made me feel that I had no rite...... that I should be doing this... she doesnt no me that well... and she certainly doesnt no wot my potential is.. i dont even no that... But all this has made me feel on edge....... is there any truth in wot she has said... I always believed that this was like anything else in life... the more u did it the better at it u became.... and that no1 no's wot they are doing at 1st... Please could some1 give me some guidance:|:|:|

September Pixie	16 Apr 2004
Well.. I guess I would have to know more about just 'what' she is talking about.. You should learn a few rules of ethics before trying readings and all but I have never thought of tarot as dangerous.. if you are talking about religion and practices of witchcraft and such... this can be true.. however, if you are pure and heart, honest, and have nothing but the best intension's.. I see no harm in learning. I think I would seek a different crowd to run around with.. if she isn't willing to help you learn or offer any advice as to why she says such things to someone who is interested in the same things they claim to have interest in.. I am a life long Pagan, Wiccan by choice.. I am studying to be a first degree High Priestess in the Correllian Tradition.. so if its this kind of thing they are warning you about.. there is the definite law of 3 you need to take into consideration.. if your not talking about this kind of thing and you are only dealing with tarot.. just keep a simple reminder.. "harm ye none" as we say.. but as long as your karma is clean :) there is no harm in reading simple tarot. Anyway, just my opinion.

Delphina Kalika	16 Apr 2004
hi september pixie.... :) I think I understand wot u have said:|:| being a novice and all..:|:| I have only ever read.. (playing card method) when me or my friend where in need of a little guidence.... I only ever planned to do readings for myself mainly.. and 2 close friends.... both of who... like me use this as a guidence tool.... The person I am speaking off... i think may be just a little bit selfish.. something like.. this is my interest not urs..thing..... Yet til today I didnt even no that she used tarot... she even went as far as to rattle of which decks she owns... (as if I asked:|:| which I didnt)...... She states that she hasnt used her decks in a while .. " maybe I should get them out" was 1 thing she meantioned.... when I once asked her if I could attend the physic circle ... just out of interest.... she told me " that I am not of the standard that is required.. that i should find a lower standard group and join that"..... I only wished to see and get a feeling .... The only reason .. I did ask her is that as of yet in my life I havent known any1 well enough .. or who is indeed interested in these subjects.. until her" I think she said it was dangerous as she stated that the last time she did a reading for some 1 she saw something bad.. a death... and then 2 days later the person suffered a very close berivement...... like I said earlier .. a friend and I used to do the playing card method.. together.. she read my spread .. i read her's.... somethings did come to pass others didnt... but we never read into each others spread... we just read the meanings of each card... and then later after we discussed wot we felt they meant to us... I have always believed that this was the way of doing readings.... it was the way mine was done (professionally).. The reader read my spread and I was to reflect and see if it related to my life... the reader didnt..doesnt.. state:|:| or am I mistaken in this:|:|

September Pixie	16 Apr 2004
First of all.. I think I wouldn't ever ask her for anything.. I don't really think she even knows what she's doing.. I have had my fair share of 'psychic' circle groups who are novice themselves.. First of all... telling someone the death card indicates death isn't really reading tarot at all.. the death card can mean something as minor as a change.. or as terrible as a sudden loss and deep change.. it depends on the situation and circumstances of surrounding cards.. A psychic may be able to predict a death but tarot can predict the great loss and sadness feelings but cannot say "such and such will die on such and such date".. does that make sense? What deck are you currently using? I don't usually suggest people to pick up books at first.. but in your case.. see if you can find this book "How To: Read The Tarot" by Sylvia Abraham ISBN:1-56718-001-9 it teaches a key-word system and lets you learn how to pick symbols out of the cards.. Pretty soon you will soon be telling your friend how to read instead of having to ask her ;)

September Pixie	16 Apr 2004
Oh.. there is another subject I forgot to mention in my previous post.. the power of suggestion is VERY powerful... if someone tells you "this is how your future will be".. it basically will be because you believe it to be so.. There is NOTHING written in stone about anyone's future.. you have the ability to change it... and all this hoopla about "you have to find a lesser group" garbage is dumb.. you are either psychic or you aren't.. ANYONE can develop psychic characteristics.. some will have a brighter "screen" than others, but you can even develop them yourself.. my advice is to read, read, read on any subject you are interested in learning and then practice, practice, practice.. :)

ScarabFlight	16 Apr 2004
I say keep learning and practice. Don't listen to what other people say to you (including myself). Okay, maybe I should say "don't take as gospel what others say, take in the info and come up with your own answer." You need to do whatever you think is right in your heart. The magic is in you not the cards. If she says the cards are dangerous maybe she's talking about herself? And if she feels that the cards are dangerous , why would she want to use them? I mean, everyone is a novice at some time in their life, right? I haven't heard of any tarot related injuries lately so you should be fine. :) (To be truthful I did hear of someone getting a papercut and someone else got a sore wrist from shuffling but that's it I swear....) I don't know her but I would tend to agree with you she may feel threatened that you are interested in tarot (why is anyone's guess, I would think hey the more the merrier and we can discuss things and learn more but hey that's me) Do what you think is right, do what makes you more of who you want to be. What you think is true will be true for you so take time to weigh the information carefully and come up with your truth. I hope this makes some sense. If not, well.....keep learning and don't worry what other people say. Keep doing what you are doing as long as it is something you like to do and isn't hurting/bothering/intruding on others. :D

Delphina Kalika	16 Apr 2004
hi september pixie.... well u may chuckle at this... but I actually bought that same book yesterday.... how to .... read the tarot (sylvia abraham) And today I got the illustrated tarot book.....(half price to...)... which is why i am getting the Rider-Waite deck...:|:| as if seems most books use this deck .... i thought it would be easier.. wiser to actually own that same deck.... so as to better understand wot it is i am reading:|:|:| I have heard wot u have said .. and it has helped me....... I think I just needed comformation for myself that I dont have a totally wrong idea about tarot...... :|:| I am now probably even more comitted to learning more a acheiving a better and more in depth understanding of tarot.... I do have 1 question...... is there are1 u shouldnt do a reading for...:$:$

Delphina Kalika	16 Apr 2004
hi scarabflight... :) Thank you for ur reply..... u did make me :D:D with that injuries bit... I think that both u and september pixie.. (plus my witchy friend on msn) have help me relize something that I probably already kindof knew.... that I am not the 1 with the problem:|:|:| I am not gonna let neg ppl turn me away from learning this art..... thnak you again....:|:D:D

September Pixie	16 Apr 2004
I know a lot of tarot readers who cannot read for themselves.. so if you are having trouble reading for yourself.. just pull cards at random and interpret them :) This gives you lots of practice and doesn't matter if you are right or wrong.. you are still learning :) As for people you shouldn't read for... listen to what your "gut" is telling you... if you get a feeling that you just don't want to read for someone.. do NOT be afraid to tell them no. Your intuition will never serve you wrong :) There are LOTS of people here to help you along if you run into questions.. and if you have more, don't hesitate to PM me :)

Alissa	16 Apr 2004
Welcome to the forums Delphina! :D I would tell you that the only "danger" in using the Tarot cards is that you might see the Truth. Sometimes, yes, we may glimpse a death, and that's an uncomfortable place for even the most professional and/or experienced of readers to find themselves in. One member, Umbrae, often posts a question that you may find helpful, philosophically : Why do you read Tarot? The answer to this question, YOUR answer, is what's most important. It will help ground your intentions behind reading, and hopefully help clear any doubts your experiencing at the moment. Your friend's answer is HER answer, maybe her answer is "dangerous"... I don't know. Many people who don't fully understand a subject will automatically label it, especially as something that's "evil," or "harmful," as a manner of dealing with their own discomfort with it. The RWS deck is a great deck to start with, but any deck with images that begin to "speak" to you is what you should listen and look for too. Book learning is helpful, but your intuition should be nurtured as well, if you wish to use it in conjunction with your own readings. Money is an issue that each reader decides for themselves. In some situations, people will insist on not being paid. Other people wouldn't dream of doing a free reading. Still others read for donations only. Maybe your own comfort in what you charge others will be a mix of those approaches. Best of luck to you, and I hope we see more of you on the Forums.

ncefafn	16 Apr 2004
Delphina, I think you've come to the right place. The people here at Aeclectic are friendly, positive, helpful and nurturing. Anyone who doesn't have those same qualities can be a friend, but I would recommend that you don't consider them as spiritual guides. As long as you are not harming anybody or yourself, as long as you have the highest good as your goal and are stringently self-aware, I don't think there is any reason why you shouldn't pursue your studies of Tarot. Welcome and best wishes, Kim

purple_scorp	17 Apr 2004
Hi Delphina. When I started on my spiritual journey, I had a friend who seemed to be one step ahead of me. As I discovered new things, I would rush to visit her to discuss them and she would pull book after book on these topics from her shelves. I think she considered herself to be a kind of mentor for me. Our styles were very different. She was pagan and very ritualistic and I was more spiritual and not into rituals at all. However, we seemed to share an interest on many topics. We started a "circle" to share and learn from each other. The idea was that each week, a different member would introduce something they were passionate about. It got a little awkard, as my friend always wanted to perform opening and closing rituals even though some of us did not believe in them. In theory, we were meant to be sharing the leadership, but my friend always seemed to dominate each session. The circle soon disbanded and we continued on our own journies. The more I learnt for myself, the less dependant I became on my friend and things changed between us. It was almost as though she resented the fact that I no longer "needed" her. I respect that everybody is different and that we all have our own styles, none of which are right or wrong. I like to know everything about anything I do. So I'm always researching, whether it be from a book, a website, or a discussion with others on forums like this. Then when I've processed absolutely everything, I make up my own mind. I try to remain open to other people's opinions but I don't jump ship to try and please them. So, Delphina, my advice to you, is much the same as the others in this thread. Firstly, be comfortable and confident with what you do. Talk to others and don't be afraid to make mistakes. As long as you can find the lesson in where you went wrong, it will help you to grow. I wish you well on your journey. Cheers purple_scorp

punchinella	17 Apr 2004
Delphina, I just want to say that my gut tells me that in this case, your 'friend' is not really a friend at all. She is the danger, not tarot. I'm finally learning myself that when somebody tries to stop me from pursuing something I'm passionate about, that person does NOT have my best interest at heart. Nine times out of ten that person is threatened, & trying to stay on top by denying anyone else access to the temple, the fountain, the pinnacle, the source . . . The thing is, the people who are legitimately 'on top' are there because they love whatever it is that they do. NOT because they've beaten everyone else down to get there . . . The person who really loves something (be it tarot, art, quilting or motorbikes :D ) wants to share that something with the people around her. A master longs to teach. If this 'friend' wants to keep you out of a place of learning, this is a dead give-away that she herself is no master. If she calls herself one, she is a charlatan. I would have nothing more to do with her. Any circle that she's a part of is a place I would not want to be. (Of course, that's my opinion only.) Punch

purple_scorp	17 Apr 2004
Quote: Originally posted by punchinella The person who really loves something (be it tarot, art, quilting or motorbikes :D ) wants to share that something with the people around her. A master longs to teach. If this 'friend' wants to keep you out of a place of learning, this is a dead give-away that she herself is no master. If she calls herself one, she is a charlatan. I would have nothing more to do with her. Any circle that she's a part of is a place I would not want to be. (Of course, that's my opinion only.) Punch Well said, Punch. I totally agree. So now that's two opinions..... Cheers purple_scorp

SongDeva	17 Apr 2004
Welcome to the forums Delphina. You've found a lot of people who can give very good advice, and will not be threatened by your successes (which seem to be about to burst from you). Start your own psychic circle!

September Pixie	17 Apr 2004
Jump right in Delphina :) I'd love to watch your tarot knowledge grow :) If there is one thing we all have in common here.. its that :) Our love for tarot and our undying need to know MORE about it :)

DeLani	17 Apr 2004
Quote: Originally posted by purple_scorp Well said, Punch. I totally agree. So now that's two opinions..... Cheers purple_scorp I third that. This lady sounds really "iffy"...she's into Tarot, but says it's dangerous??? She belongs to a "psychic circle," but her friend isn't "good enough" to join? I get a real bad feeling about that situation. I have been around people who claimed to be Wiccan, and I befriended them thinking we had something in common, only to find out they were into negative magic (or "the dark arts."). Stuff like this - extreme secrecy, telling you that something they do is "dangerous" when they should know full well it isn't... sounds an awful lot like some of the negative practicioners I've been around. I would shield myself when around this person, and don't speak of Tarot or psychic circles around her either.

September Pixie	17 Apr 2004
Quote: I third that. This lady sounds really "iffy"...she's into Tarot, but says it's dangerous??? She belongs to a "psychic circle," but her friend isn't "good enough" to join? I get a real bad feeling about that situation. I have been around people who claimed to be Wiccan, and I befriended them thinking we had something in common, only to find out they were into negative magic (or "the dark arts."). Stuff like this - extreme secrecy, telling you that something they do is "dangerous" when they should know full well it isn't... sounds an awful lot like some of the negative practicioners I've been around. I would shield myself when around this person, and don't speak of Tarot or psychic circles around her either. I second all of that! I have known my fair share of 'fair weather witches'.. the kind that seemed to seep out of the woodwork after a movie like the Craft came about.. only to find they had no idea what they were doing or that they were into darker things that I didnt care to explore.. I think what I didn't like the most about what your friend is saying is that she is telling you to find a "lesser" circle because you aren't "good enough" to join hers.. give me a break... she should be willing to help you be "good enough" if she is truly your friend.. and if she is with a group of people like that.. I have to question what kind of person she is if she is telling you that things she does are dangerous and she continues to do them.... At any rate.. I am glad you are here :)

HudsonGray	17 Apr 2004
Delphina, if she said the same thing abut your ability to go out bike riding, or something about what hairstyle you're supposed to have you'd have laughed in her face & walked away (probably, not sure but hey, it's just an example). She doesn't live your life, isn't your mother & has no justification to block you off from your interests. Go ahead and learn tarot, it's perfectly safe. You'll find a lot of information around online, and in books, plus you can post here anytime & get answers from dozens of people very quickly. I'd put your friend's 'advice' out of your head and just proceed as you wish. Tarot is not dangerous. What she's doing is a control issue, nothing more.

Delphina Kalika	18 Apr 2004
Hi :):cool; to all whom have posted here....:S:S A big thank you to all of you :*.... I have read all ur posts and am abit :|:| at my delay in repliying myself..... You have all been so kind, warm, friendly, and openly generious with ur opinions and advice.... :D all of which was, is most welcome.....:D:D I had myself come to many of the piont raised my self.... like..... She doesn't live your life, isn't your mother & has no justification to block you off from your interests.<<<<< HudsonGray I have to question what kind of person she is if she is telling you that things she does are dangerous and she continues to do them.... <<< September Pixie A master longs to teach. If this 'friend' wants to keep you out of a place of learning, this is a dead give-away that she herself is no master. <<<<<< punchinella I had the same thoughts....... Why does she continue these things if they are so dangerous...... Most ppl I no would be all to happy to introduce some1 else to something new.... to open there eyes if anything to new experiences and ideas.... Going back to something punchinella menationed >> The person who really loves something (be it tarot, art, quilting or motorbikes ) wants to share that something with the people around her. <<. one of my oldest friends was involved with a group called MAG.... and when I show an interest.. she invitited me to go along... althou I didnt... (felt like a fraud:|:|) ... I did go out with her to the Nights out the group had... It gave me a different opinion on the ppl..... a new understanding.... So again thnak you all :D:D:D I think I needed the positive thoughts of others ..... :|:|:

The needing guidance thread was originally posted on 16 Apr 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.