Worried about my friend

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 15 Apr 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Pook	15 Apr 2004
Lately, I have been worrying about a very close friend of mine. A while back I moved about 75 miles away and since then I really don't see her that much. We do talk on the phone a lot, but she works really hard and I have a new baby, so our calls have become shorter and shorter. We have both been through a lot of changes in our lives and I know that she has had an especially hard time with some of her 'stuff'. Does anybody know of any spreads or meditations that I can do to peek in on her every now and then when I know that we just can't talk? P.S. I'm sure she wouldn't mind me checking on her in this way. She's a tarot lover herself and would probably like to know how it turns out.

Red Emma	15 Apr 2004
MoonDreameR, Probably there are several differing opinions on the ethics of looking at another's life. My own take is that as long as she knows what you're doing, there's no problem. I do check up on my sister now and again. I ask the question, "What should I know about Joannie, just now," and use a 3-card, Issue, Advice, Outcome spread. Best wishes, Red Emma

jmd	15 Apr 2004
Red Emma makes, as usual, a wise posting.... ...trust, accept this time in which you may each have differing needs...

hedgecub	16 Apr 2004
I agree with Red Emma. I think it's important that you inform her of what you're doing and that she gives you permission to check up on her. Other than that, I don't see anything wrong with it. For obtaining information like this, I normally use a two card draw. I find that one card is too open to interpretation and therefore unspecific, whereas with two cards I can pinpoint the issue more accurately. For a beginner like me, three cards is too many for my brain to try and coalesce into a single issue.

raeanne	16 Apr 2004
Hi MoonDreameR, If you are worried about your friend, pick up the phone and call, or e-mail, or snail mail, or ask a common friend if they have heard from this person, or do a card reading. I think you could design your own spread about your friend. Maybe: 1. What’s been happening is X’s life since the move? 2. What positive things have been happening? 3. What negative things have been happening? 4. Was the move a good idea? As far as getting permission, I guess I look at thing differently than others. If you had a common friend, would you get permission before you asked the common friend “have you heard from so and so?” I don’t think you have to get permission from anyone to ask anyone, including tarot, a question. People ask questions about others all the time. It’s just life. To me the key is what you intend to do with the information. If you got information from a common friend and then used that information to hurt someone, that would be bad karma. If you got information from a common friend and then used that information to help someone, that would be good karma. For me it’s the same with tarot. It isn’t the asking, it is what you do with the information once you have it.

Pook	16 Apr 2004
Thanks to everyone that posted replies. I don't want anyone to think that I am being nosy or butting in where I don't belong, so I feel I should tell U all that I have spoken to my friend in the last 24 hours anad as it turns out, my feelings were correct and she was in need of a friendly ear. I asked if it would be alright if I checked up on her every now and again and she told me that as long as I still called her as much as possible when I am thinking of her and don't replace phone calls with my tarot cards, she wouldn't mind. So be at ease, any of U who were worried about my ethics.

Red Emma	16 Apr 2004
MoondreameR, I'm not worried about your ethics. I had the impression that you were new to tarot and wondering just what the ethics of the situation were. So asked some old timers. The very fact that you were worried indicates that you are a warm, loving, loyal friend. And since you did ask for advice, a very ethical person as well. Best wishes, Red Emma

HudsonGray	16 Apr 2004
I just did a 1 card reading last night about the same thing--someone I know who I haven't heard from in too long & who hasn't been posting at sites she's normally chatty at. I drew one card asking how she's doing, and got Judgement reversed, so I fired off a 'how's things at your end, haven't heard from you' email to her. Still waiting a return, but it's only been a few hours.

Pook	16 Apr 2004
[quote]Originally posted by Red Emma --- MoondreameR, I'm not worried about your ethics. I had the impression that you were new to tarot and wondering just what the ethics of the situation were. --- sorry, I guess I misunderstood. But I can see where U R coming from. Some people might not like to think that I can get a look at what's going on in their lives without them knowing about it (or even if they do.) U were right, by the way. I'm pretty new to tarot. I got my frist deck about a year ago, but I only really got into it a couple months ago. I usually only do two or three card spreads, but I'm dying to try some of the bigger, more impressive ones.

closrapexa	18 Apr 2004
I don't think reading for other people is necessariilly to "spy" them. Whenever you read for somebody like that it is not really about them, but sometimes what you think they are or aren't, but more often what YOU should be to them. If you read about your friend and the outcome of the reading is that she is in a bad situation, then it could mean a wide variety of thing. For example, the cards could tell you (depending on the reading) that you should be there for her, or that she needs her space. It is always about yourself and your position regarding her.

The Worried about my friend thread was originally posted on 15 Apr 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.