My tarot obsession has got me into trouble...and i'm so sick about it...

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 18 Jun 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

yve	18 Jun 2004
I'm kind of a tarot addict...and finally it got me into trouble, and I feel so awful about it, i'm sick to my stomach....I happened onto an auction at e-bay for the Romani deck before work one day, and it ended only a couple of hours later that day (before I would finish work). So in a hurry, without even reading the sellers terms, I bid on it. I came home from work and found out I had won the auction. So I requested a total from the seller, excited that I had won this deck!...2 days later I got an e-mail from the seller that I was an "unwelcome bidder" as she did not sell to Canadians (she was in the US). She wrote a very long e-mail which was designed to put a great deal of guilt on me...I wrote back, apologized, and said if she wasn't willing to ship to me that I would refund her any fees/costs she would have incurred to re-auction it (in fact I did send her a paypal payment to cover any costs!)...another couple of days past and she sent me another very long e-mail. In it she made it very clear how unwelcome my bid was, how this inconvenienced her, caused her trouble, and how she reported me to e-bay as violating their policies and terms!...Then I received an e-mail from e-bay saying that I had violated the terms of a sellers agreement, yadda, yadda...in fact this was just a warning e-mail, but it has made me sick....I made a stupid mistake, apologized and tried to make restitution, and yet still was punished for my stupidity...I probably shouldn't take it so to heart, but I do...and I just want to crawl into a hole....all because of my obsession for tarot decks.... The ironic thing is that she is suppose to be a psychic.....you'd think she could detect sincerity and realize an honest mistake and genuine interest to rectify the situation......

laura_borealis	18 Jun 2004
She sounds like a bit of an asshat, actually! You made a simple mistake, which could happen to anyone. I wouldn't worry about it -- she is the one with a problem. *hugs*

Jewel-ry	18 Jun 2004
Oh Yve, You really must try to put this behind you. You have done all that you could to put it right. Some people are just not very forgiving and yet if the tables were turned .... I am sure you would not have acted like that. If it helps any, I know exactly how you feel! I very stupidly bid for something on e-bay once without looking at what I was bidding on and had accidentally bid against my sister. I tried to put that right by apologising but she has hardly spoken to me for a year because of it! That makes me feel sick too! :)

Centaur	18 Jun 2004
Hi Yve, I have to say that this person sounds like a complete and utter ass****. It sounds to me as though you have gone out of your way to apologize and to make amends to this person, yet she treats you like this? If you ask me, then she needs a reality- check. I hope you feel better about this soon, although I can understand why you would be upset.

ros	18 Jun 2004
I hope you feel better about this soon and don't take it to personally. Think of it as some kind of lesson. Next year this time you'll either be laughing about it or it will have been forgotten. Take Care, ros

janomalee	18 Jun 2004
Yve, This person needs to get over it. I think she utterly completely overreacted. A brief email stating thanks but no thanks would have been sufficient.

yve	18 Jun 2004
Well, it could go deeper...perhaps she has a real dislike for Canadians...Ever since the war, the stupid political things said and done, and the Mad Cow crisis...some Americans have a real dislike for Canadians...She also happened to point out to me the countries she did ship to, which included many, except for Canada!...I've heard stories by some Americans and some Canadians with dual citizenship, that some Canadians have been treated rather badly in the US...well, that's another story, another forum...and yes, I guess it is her problem and issue, I shouldn't be so sensitive...I even cancelled the auctions for some items I was trying to sell until I feel better about myself and e-bay again....maybe it's time to get my tarot deck obsession in check too...Take a time out and break from e-bay couldn't hurt....

Ruby7	18 Jun 2004
Yve, some people are just plain nasty. Sounds like this person has a chip in their shoulder. Possibly she has had a lot of problems with other E-Bay buyers though and sees everybody in a bad way, even if they are nice and made a mistake that they feel really bad about. I get frustrated looking on E-Bay, because a lot of the things I want to bid on are ship to U.S.A. only, and I would be willing to pay extra for shipping. Is it really such a hassle to ship from the U.S. to Canada? Anyway, Yve, try not to feel bad, you did everything you could to make up for your mistake. all the best, Ruby7

MeeWah	18 Jun 2004
((((((Yve)))))) As others have expressed, I find the seller's behaviour to be an issue. Her responses so extreme & inappropriate as to be indicative of other agendas not related to your inadvertent mistake. It also appears that eBay must be taking her word against yours. Since restitution has been made at your end, eBay's attitude gives pause. Just because someone claims to be "psychic" does not mean it to be true. Nor is a "psychic" of a higher caliber as a person. That there is something to be learned from this is evident, but chalk it up as another notch in life's experiences & do not let it disempower ye.

13thFaeChylde	18 Jun 2004
Quote: Originally posted by Jewel-ry . I tried to put that right by apologising but she has hardly spoken to me for a year because of it! That makes me feel sick too! :) Wow, and I thought me and my sister had issues :( hugs to both of you for the ebay woes (hugs)

lunakasha	18 Jun 2004
((((yve)))) Hey...you made an honest mistake, apologized, did everything you could possibly do....if this person cannot accept that, then she is not a well woman, IMO.....please do not beat yourself up over this, OK???? BTW....are you still looking for the Romani??? (Buckland Romani?) If so, I may be able to help you out....PM me OK??? And please try not to let this get you down..... Hugs! :D Luna

Indigo Rose	18 Jun 2004
Yve, I know what you speak of with hateful attitudes brewing between some Americans and Canadians. I have seen it with some Americans and Mexicans as well; and really some Americans and foreign born people. This is a sad result from the 9/11 tragedy, the current administration(Bush/Chenney), the war, the loss of American jobs, and basically the crumbling of American society. There is a great deal of tension in our country and people are feeling the pressure. However, IT IS NO EXCUSE for mistreating our brothers and sisters in Cananda or anywhere else in this world. Sadly, I think it will get worse before it gets better. Those of us who see beyond our borders to the WORLD and realize we are all one; have a hard time accepting the hatred and discrimination that is becoming ever so prevelant. I am sorry that you have experienced such a nasty exchange. Clearly this person is not "sensitive" the way a true psychic is inside or they would not be so unforgiving and abusive towards you. (((YVE))) Blessings and Love from one American, and WORLD CITIZEN Indigo Rose :)

rota	18 Jun 2004
Quote: Originally posted by yve ...Ever since the war, the stupid political things said and done, and the Mad Cow crisis...some Americans have a real dislike for Canadians... +++++++ Well, not all Americans by a long shot. I love Canada. It might go back to when I was young. When I was a kid in school, my second grade teacher taught us the Canadian National Anthem. Every Canadian I've ever met has been a peach, and every time I've travelled in Canada I've been treated well.

yve	18 Jun 2004
Quote: Originally posted by rota +++++++ Well, not all Americans by a long shot. I love Canada. It might go back to when I was young. When I was a kid in school, my second grade teacher taught us the Canadian National Anthem. Every Canadian I've ever met has been a peach, and every time I've travelled in Canada I've been treated well. That is such a cool bit of personal history Rota! Thanks for telling me!

Dakota	18 Jun 2004
Geez, poor Yve, I am so sorry you had a run-in with such a rotten creep! Talk about overreaction (about 1000%)!!! She could have handled the whole thing with a polite email but chose to make an international incident out of it! I have never been able to understand folks who behave like that. I would hope that a simple email letter to eBay would fix things between you and them and, as for the creep, just stay as far away from her as possible and try to forget the whole thing quickly. I have never done more than take a cursory glance at some seller's terms; I could easily have made a similar error. Please don't let this spoil your fun!

hedgecub	18 Jun 2004
I'm sorry but that seller sounds like a complete and utter b*tch. You made an honest mistake, one that anyone could easily make. When she pointed it out, you unhesitatingly made up for it with a sincere apology and payment so the seller could recover her costs. I believe the seller now has the option to offer the item to the next highest bidder through the 'second chance' feature on ebay, so if they can be arsed to click a few buttons, they won't have lost anything by you bidding on their item. If I were the seller, and a buyer had made a mistake and apologized, I would be happy. After all, I could easily make the same mistake, and I can offer the item to the next highest bidder and still make a decent profit. If on top of that, the buyer sent me payment for the costs of putting the item on auction, I'd definitely give the buyer a big dose of positive feedback! This kind of honesty and fairness is hard to come by, and should be appreciated. Stupid greedy whiny b*tches.. ;)

tao51	18 Jun 2004
You dealt with this bat (not to insult the flying creatures or the baseball instrument) fairly. She did not have to act so rudely! I have always held Canada with the deepest respect.--Tao

tmgrl2	18 Jun 2004
I LOVE CANADA!! I love Canadians! Just take that person's e-mails and hit DELETE. At least you never have to meet or deal with this person again. There's something to be said for that. Viva La Canada! Viva America Viva United States... You did no harm...and we love you...that's what matters....those who matter. terri

jmd	18 Jun 2004
Incredible event! Though anyone may restrict sales to wherever they choose, I do find it amazing that a citizen of one American country would not sell to a citizen of another American country... the USA is not the only American, nor even north American, country! Still, as you may have made an easy enough error (errr.... I once, in the early days, bid against myself! not realising how the bloody thing worked!), apologised... and even offered to pay for any financial loss... what more could be done?!?!? Do not be overly concerned - and I'm sure the e.mail you may have received from e.bay, no matter how terse it may have sounded, was probably a standard letter in order to maintain the reputation they have so wonderfully sought to achieve - nothing personal :)

dolphinprincess	18 Jun 2004
Please do not let this situation make you sick. The main reason people choose to limit where they sell is bc of shipping cost. However, you made a very honest mistake and made every attempt to remedy the situation. This person is just plain ole mean and nasty and gets a kick from being a B*tch! You may (or may not) want to post the ebay seller id - but if you did, I'd surely never give her any of my business, as I buy from Ebay quite often!

raeanne	18 Jun 2004
(((((Yve))))) Keep your chin up! You did everything right in trying to make amends. I also think Canada is a wonderful country. If Buch/Cheney get re-elected I may just have to do some job hunting in Canada, or Australia, or the UK, or Norway, or ..........

HudsonGray	18 Jun 2004
I, too, forget to check the 'terms' occasionally & have placed bids on things I had second thoughts about or that ONLY took payment via Pay Pal (which I don't have). I've been lucky in that all those items got another bid put on so I was off the hook. It happens, people do stuff. I can't see that the lady was out much money on it--sometimes they contact the bidder before you & offer the item, or just turn right around & put it up again for sale. Don't stress the guilt, it was an honest mistake & it's happened to more people than you know. She sounds like she was being a total jerk about it all. Delete her emails. You've made your apology & she didn't want to work around any of it so that's her choice. Don't let it fester in you.

Tarot Sparrow	18 Jun 2004
Well I am just disgusted by your situation yve. You are not to blame and neither is tarot. You made an innocent mistake and made it obvious that it was not done on purpose. This happens to all of us sometimes. You handled the situation very well despite that and offered to pay for any fees and yet still, the seller was very unforgiving towards you, not to mention rude, selfish, and inconsiderate! For her to report you to eBay on a simple mistake after you were as nice as you were to her is just ridiculous. I understand that you did violate the terms by bidding on an item you couldn't pay for but it was obviously a mistake and I'd think she would have been a little more understanding. However I don't think you should beat yourself up or put the blame on a tarot addiction, because this could have happened to anyone. And yes, Canada is a wonderful country. I should know :)

Emily	19 Jun 2004
Hi Yve, You made an honest mistake, tried to put it right and she over-reacted - she has the problem not you. If you do get any more emails off her hit delete, not bothering to read them as your business with her is over. She must be a very warped person to be sending such emails as she has - one email saying that she didn't ship to Canada would have been enough. I wonder if you could report her to ebay if she emails you again? - Its a pity you sent a paypal payment, she obviously doesn't appreciate it.

Sulis	19 Jun 2004
(((((((((((((((((Yve)))))))))))))))) Everyone else has said it all. Put it behind you, the woman obviously has a problem. Give yourself a big hug and get out there and start looking for another Buckland Romani - I think you need and deserve one to cheer you up :) Love Sulis xx

Nycelle	19 Jun 2004
Yve, you can forget about this and go on with your life. That woman has to live with her personality every day. Imagine how unpleasant that is! Not your problem - if she wants to fill her life with conflict, let her. Just hit delete and brew more tea. I find that works when dealing with the aggressive.

Mimers	19 Jun 2004
Quote: Originally posted by yve Well, it could go deeper...perhaps she has a real dislike for Canadians...Ever since the war, the stupid political things said and done, and the Mad Cow crisis...some Americans have a real dislike for Canadians...She also happened to point out to me the countries she did ship to, which included many, except for Canada!...I've heard stories by some Americans and some Canadians with dual citizenship, that some Canadians have been treated rather badly in the US...well, that's another story, another forum...and yes, I guess it is her problem and issue, I shouldn't be so sensitive...I even cancelled the auctions for some items I was trying to sell until I feel better about myself and e-bay again....maybe it's time to get my tarot deck obsession in check too...Take a time out and break from e-bay couldn't hurt.... Yve, I am so surprised to hear this about Americans! I have not noticed any animosity towards Canadians at all here in America. As a matter of fact, I work with a few people from Toronto, and have never notices any unfair behavior expressed toward them. I will have to ask them. Besides, why would we blame Canadians for the Mad Cow Crisis??? I am really sorry to hear this. It is terrible. As for this lady you had to deal with, perhaps she has troubles with everyone, not just Canadians and will jump on any opportunity to demean someone due to her own lack of self worth. Some people are just like that you know. I am sure you realize by now that your very simple mistake, anyone could have made. Certainly not worth punishing yourself over. Get back in there and continue with your auctions. There is no reason why you shouldn't! Take care, Mimi

smokey	19 Jun 2004
bless your heart,Yve... I'm afraid I cannot print t/way I feel about that sorry excuse of a woman...Aeclectic would delete it, and I'd be in trouble w/them!!!

yve	19 Jun 2004
Thanks everyone for the support and kind words...(((((((HUGS)))))) to all! I will get over this, I'm just a sensitive person and it hurt....you are all right...thanks

LadyMedusa	19 Jun 2004
Yve, Mistakes happen it's part of being human:). You have done all that is necessary, more than most by sending her payment to cover relisting. Along with the second chance feature already mentioned, Ebay has another feature for sellers that allows them to reject any bids they do not wish to accept. So you are not the only person who wasn't watching carefully. Other than perhaps feeling a bit of pity for someone whose life leaves them so bitter and unforgiving, I don't think you need to waste any more energy on this. LadyMedusa (hope you find the deck!!!)

Alta	19 Jun 2004
Agree with the other posts. I too have made some mistakes on eBay. Not checking, snarly sellers etc. But also had some fine experiences. Life, eh? Don't worry about the anti-Canadian thingy. Goodness knows, you can find someone, somehwere, to hate almost anything or anyone. I am a little surprised at eBay. Sounds as if they didn't check this out. Write again, but don't be apologetic. Be factual and do not go in with the attitude that it was all your fault. Admit the part that was (not reading Terms and Conditions) but suggest this went way too far.

HudsonGray	19 Jun 2004
Yes, the anti-Canadian thing is a new one on me! I never ran across anyone around here that had a problem with Canada. It's not to blame for the mad cow thing, and actually YOU guys have more reason to dislike us because of all the stupid fishing rights violations being done off your east shores by us. (That and taking away all your good actors, they seem to leave Vancouver & go to LA). Don't stress it.

Sillanza	19 Jun 2004
yve, I didn't see this theory proposed, but I wonder if this seller has had problems with violating e-bay's policies in the past? It sounds like the seller totally overreacted, and that they were doing more than what's necessary to cover their a$$. It sounds to me like you just got caught in the crossfire. Whenever I experience a disappointment like this, it's usually because there's something else waiting around the corner. I wonder what yours is?

yve	30 Jun 2004
Quote: Whenever I experience a disappointment like this, it's usually because there's something else waiting around the corner. I wonder what yours is? I hope you mean something good around the corner??? Goodness, I sure could use some good things happening...I just ended up in the middle of some conflict at work (I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time)...and then, a large breakin/robbery at work, and I was the first employee on the scene after it happened...so i've been going through some interview/statement stuff with the police and the company's security...I sure hope that there is something good around the corner!!!

Little Baron	30 Jun 2004
You have absolutely nothing to feel bad about ... and just think .... can you imagine the bad vibes that the deck could have come with if you did get it from her??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best wishes Yaboot

dolphingirl	30 Jun 2004
I have also run into a few auctions where they won't ship to the US and usually I am a bit sad for a bit that I couldnt' buy the item then it turnes up on Ebay again cheaper lol. Don't wory about the seller, better things will come!

crystal cove	30 Jun 2004
Quote: Originally posted by yve .I've heard stories by some Americans and some Canadians with dual citizenship, that some Canadians have been treated rather badly in the US... Unfortunately, this goes both ways. My husband works for a company that employs thousands of Canadians and it's very common for some of them to bash everything about Americans and America while they're over here making their money. Fortunately, I've never had any problems with the Canadians that I've met. I think we're more alike than different.

DarkElectric	30 Jun 2004
Oh, Yve, I'm so sorry you had such a nasty, negative experience with that horribly rude and insensitive person :( (((((((((((((((Yve))))))))))))))))))))) Bashing people because of their national origin is a bogus thing to do in general. But bashing Canada? I've been to Canada, and I absolutely loved it. Most of the Canadians I have met have been the nicest people. After I returned from my trip to Toronto last year, I was thoroughly convinced that the "American Dream" had moved north. I can see why some Canadian people might feel that America is a nation obsessed with status, power, instant gratification, and money. Seems that way to me too, and I was born and raised here. Many Americans are not materialistic, confrontational and rude. But the ones who are, also seem to be the ones with the biggest mouths. Those folks reflect poorly on the rest of us. That woman who insulted you that way was certainly no patriot. I'd say she was nothing but a boor with an attitude problem. You certainly didn't deserve to be treated with such disrespect.

Riversea	01 Jul 2004
Yve, I'm really sensitive myself. Things like that can get to me for days. There's even a couple of incidents that happened 15 years ago that still make my face get hot when I think about them, which, fortunately, I rarely do. So, I know how you feel. I think I figured out which auction you are refering to. She doesn't exactly make it clear that she doesn't ship to Canada. Just giving the auction a quick glance (and in the heat of bidding that's exactly what most of us do!), it looks like she ships worldwide since she lists most of the world! She does say that overseas buyers need to email her about shipping, but unless you go to her "about me" page, it doesn't say that needs to be done BEFORE bidding. And her "about me" page is quite lengthy! I can't imagine most people read a quarter of it! She does have some 9-11 stuff, so you might be right about her having a problem with Canada, which is just plain dumb and mean. Yves, you did nothing wrong. She was not clear or concise about her rules. It sounds as though you did everything you could to make the situation right. You are clean of it. That she chose to make a big deal over it,... well, she is the one who has to wake up with herself every morning. Pity that. Just imagine being the type who over-reacts to small misunderstandings that the other person does their best to remedy. Just remember, you made a very simple mistake, lead astray by a seller not being clear about her terms. You did what you you could to make things right. You are now done, and bear no blame.

Alta	01 Jul 2004
yve~ well, sometimes 'right around the corner' is a bit further off, but it always comes. I too have experienced a couple (or, erk, sometimes more) bad experiences in a row. Because I know nothing about astrology, I always chalk it up to astrology. :D I am glad dolphinprincess checked the seller's page and it certainly sounds as if you just had the misfortune to run into a person with a bee buzzing in her brain. It just happens sometimes, honest, that's it. (((yve)))

Kissa	01 Jul 2004
Hi yve, please don't be so sad because of this seller. (easier said than done). My two cents: 1) report her to eBay as well! She's an overly aggressive person who's still stalking you with mails despite you offered to pay all costs?! 2) if you don't mind the negative feedback you will surely get in return (but you can answer it to clarify the situation for your future contacts), give her a nasty feedback. Like "doesn't ship US, my mistake, I still offered to pay all costs, why be so mad??". Or something like this. I think I would do it if it was my story because she deserves it. I once bought a book for 20€ on eBay.fr but didn't check the seller didn't have PayPal. She wanted a cheque (very expensive from here) or cash in an enveloppe (too risky for me), so we decided to both let go and give each other a fake positive feedback. I was really happy. There are great ppl on eBay around the world! I hope this helps. Maybe some of you think it is much energy to put in something that will pass anyway but i don't think yve should be the victim of a terminator for an honest mistake... Kissa

AmbitiousMind	01 Jul 2004
Well, as an eBay addict myself... I can only say this seller is a complete fool. All she has to do is email the next highest bidder and offer them the deck. She loses NOTHING from doing so and if she's worried about a few cents, she's just nuts. She'll still get the highest bid. Your bid did nothing to discourage anyone else from bidding because others would not pay that amount anyway. So the next highest bid would have won despite your oversight. For her to report you to eBay is just ridiculous.

Two of Wands	02 Jul 2004
How anyone can have a problem with Canada is beyond me. One thing is for sure, anyone who writes two long e-mails over the simplest of mistakes is clearly spiteful and neurotic. Forget you ever crossed paths with this sad distasteful being.

The My tarot obsession has got me into trouble...and i'm so sick about it... thread was originally posted on 18 Jun 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.