Death at 55

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 12 Jul 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Little Baron	12 Jul 2004
Tonight, I gave readings for my friend and her 15 year old son (my friend was present through his reading as well). Both readings went very well; they were relaxed and comfortable and I think that both my friend and her son had a positive experience; he was pleased when we highlighted the real passions in his career and acknowledged the need to work hard to acheive, and my friend was pleased that any recent disharmony with her daughter would soon settle down and she should not feel guilty about any recent big decisions that she has made; the cards advised her to rest, concentrate on her driving lessons and take time to relax. Two good readings, for both them, and myself. I used the 1JJ Swiss, which was a very comfortable tool for the job. Before we read, I asked my friend whether she had been read for before.She said that she had once. She asked me to not tell her, should I see anything bad. The previous reader had told her that 'she would die at 55 and that it would not be a long illness'. I think that my friend is intelligent enough to have taken this womans premonition with a pinch of salt, but all the same, what unprofessional practice; it's not surprising that people get the wrong impression of tarot when they are told things like that. After the reading, we looked through and summed up ther cards; I asked her if she could see in the cards anything that could possibly be detected in their symbolism that could predict something such as an actual death and age of death. She said she couldn't. I agreed, and said that I could not either. I think through explaining the cards and the construction of the two arcana helped a little to see the cards differently. She was very happy with the whole experience, and her son was very interested in the whole concept and expressed a wish to buy a deck in the future. Just wanted to share that with you. Yaboot

MeeWah	12 Jul 2004
Yaboot001: Thanks for sharing the reading experiences. That a reader could continence predicting a person's death is very difficult to wrap around the mind. Whether one could entertain believing such "information" is not so much an issue (given the type or quality of prediction possible by a reader) as is the issue of responsible reading. The possible planting of a self-fulfilling prophecy & the involuntary burden it could impose give pause. As a kind of head game, it could damage irreparably the impressionable as well as affect the well-adjusted. The querents are fortunate to acquire a different exposure to Tarot through your services. & especially to mitigate any of the past negative associations or of the questionable.

Shy Priestess	13 Jul 2004
Quote: originally posted by MeeWah : The possible planting of a self-fulfilling prophecy & the involuntary burden it could impose give pause. Yes indeed. Several years ago, my sister and I went to a phychic fayre at which we both received readings. My sister was advised that she would "likely miscarry" in the future. This was terrible for her... it's bad enough worrying through the early stages of pregnancy without this on your mind! She wasn't pregnant (thank goodness) but any future pregnancy may carry that thought at the back of her mind. I complained to the organiser, realising that this was "irresponsible reading" and we later received an apology and a refund. Unfortunately, the damage was already done. Thankfully, this experience did not put me off my interest and I've since done mini-readings for my sis and she has become a little more comfortable with the cards, although she has no interest in reading herself. She accepts my interest - but I think this experience still casts a shadow over her perceptions of Tarot. Also, on a fun day at work, a person I used to work with carried out short tarot readings, funds for charity. A male colleague at work asked if he already knew his intended love. The answer was "yes" and he came to me in tears because he'd just split from his girl and could see no future for himself in terms of romance, thinking he'd lost the love of his life. I tried to put his mind at rest as much as I could and he was reassured eventually. He has since met the love of his life and I'm due to attend their wedding next May. :) This is why I sometimes worry about reading for others - as I'd hate to plant a seed in someone's mind and cause them to worry unneccessarily, however innocent the message. I can cope with the messages in my own readings - although sometimes I'm startled when cards insist on re-appearing - and I appreciate that due to by beginner status, I may not see everything there is to see. Yaboot - you sound like a very careful and sensitive reader and thankfully most of my experiences so far have been with readers like you. SP :)

September Pixie	13 Jul 2004
I think the difference lies on how you tell the questor bad things.. such as concerning health readings, if you advise them to pay a little closer attention to their diets, sleep regularly, and avoid as much stress as possible sounds much better than, if you continue to eat 6 bags of potato chips a night you may end up with a heart attack before the age of 40. For someone to actually tell someone "your going to die" regardless of when you say it, this adds unnecessary stress to their lives. We know that if we fuel our body with garbage its going to do damage, we don't exactly need someone to tell us that, we do however, sometimes need a friend to point out when we should take better care of ourselves. I also cant see any reason that someone would NEED to know this information, what purpose could it serve? infact, I think I would worry more if I had known the exact date of my death, can you imagine what life would be like a week before this dreaded date? I hope your friend has taken heed and relaxed since then. Quote: originally posted by MeeWah : The possible planting of a self-fulfilling prophecy & the involuntary burden it could impose give pause. and ditto :)

SongDeva	13 Jul 2004
I read at a fair, Pumpkinfest, last Halloween time, mainly for kids. One 12 year old cutie came and told me that some time ago a friend had read his cards and told him he would die at 21. I was apalled. He asked me if this was true. I took a deep breath and considered the best way to handle this. I figured for a kid, the direct approach is best. It helped that an image came to me at the same time. I said, "You will not die at 21. Period. The end. In fact, I'm seeing you older than 21 and running a successful business." Further proof. If I recall correctly, I felt like there was family around him too, wife, kids, etc. But I saw that vision and knew for sure. I also knew it would give him a new future focus, a little more positive than death. Even if you're going to die at 21, your death is not the most productive place for your focus to be.

Alissa	13 Jul 2004
This just reminds me of the responsiblity that reading has, in my opinion. I realized, at some point long ago when I first started reading on my own, that I remembered almost everything that others who had read for me had said. And that meant, everything I said to people, when I read, they would likely remember for the rest of their life as well. That's a big responsiblity. In my experience, this includes the skeptics who may scoff during a reading... they will still take the message with them, regardless. So give them something worthwhile to remember. Give them the reading that's before you, by all means, but there is a responsible way to read, and an irresponsible way to do so, I say.

Centaur	13 Jul 2004
Quote: Originally posted by Yaboot001 Before we read, I asked my friend whether she had been read for before.She said that she had once. She asked me to not tell her, should I see anything bad. The previous reader had told her that 'she would die at 55 and that it would not be a long illness'. I think that my friend is intelligent enough to have taken this womans premonition with a pinch of salt, but all the same, what unprofessional practice; it's not surprising that people get the wrong impression of tarot when they are told things like that. All I can say is that the previous reader must have been operating on one-brain cell. What the hell was she/he thinking of? I cannot understand people who would impart that sort of information, to a stranger. For all she/he knew, your friend might have been in the midst of a depression, and that little snippet of death-news may have been enough to send her careening over the edge. This reminds me of an ex-partner of mine. He visited a reader and the reader told him that a suicide was in the offing for someone in his family, and that a friend of his was living as HIV+ and would be dead by the time he was 40. Eh?! Again, why would he tell a complete stranger this?! It is almost like planting a mental time-bomb inside someone's head and then waiting for it to explode. 'Thanks for your money. Have a nice life! Try not to worry about the fact that you will be dead very soon.'

sagitarian	13 Jul 2004
Thanks for posting Yaboot. I've had similar experiences, where the querent/client has had some kind of negative experience with readers in their past. I try to help ease them, make them more comfortable if I can. That's awesome that the "child" wanted to purchase a deck in the future! You inspired someone to become a reader! How does that feel? Sagitarian

Little Baron	13 Jul 2004
I am not sure that he will pursue the idea but it was good to give him a positive insight into the cards, rather than, as we have said, a negative introduction. If he formed an interest, then that would be great; he took the reading very seriously and from what I could see, got a lot out of it. Being interested in art, I think there was also an interest in the illustrations; I explained to him how many decks there were out there and how the different ones suited different people and different needs. I think that a lot of people don't even consider the fact that there is a choise when buying a deck, since they have not been exposed to cards before. I showed my two cousins and they both wanted to see the Death card; it was the only one that they had heard of, like a lot of people. But as I explained the meaning to them and let them fan through the deck, it was inspiring to see someone genuinely showing an interest in what we do; respectfully. Thanks for the responses. Yaboot

The Death at 55 thread was originally posted on 12 Jul 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.