Do you soften the blow or tell it like it is when reading?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 25 Jul 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

MuffinTops	25 Jul 2004
I once read for someone, I could see in the cards that it wasn't going to be the best outcome. So I quietly overlooked the last card. Whether or not this made a difference in the person's decision or life, I doubt it; but what I saw in the cards did occur. So now I tell it like it is, tactfully of course. Anyone else?

blackroseivy	25 Jul 2004
That's a *really* difficult suject in Tarot-World, but such a day-to-day occurrance. I try not to get too specific, but if there is trouble in the cards, I say so. Usually I see alternatives - I try to mitigate the bad with the strengths I see in advising, because *no* reading can be *all* bad - at least I'm pretty *sure* not!! ;)

Eco74	25 Jul 2004
An example from a recent reading (tough not remembering the cards exactly). A querent was going to go through a pretty big change, like having the ground pulled out from under her BUT there was also a "recommendations" card in the layout showing that feelings were about to come into play. What I told her was that while she was in for a bumpy ride, she would do well to get aquainted with her emotions since this would make it easier for her to handle it. Hopefully this left her somewhat prepared for what was to come and with some sort of handle on how to cope..

Sillanza	25 Jul 2004
I think it depends on the personality of the reader and how well he/she knows the querant. If it's someone I know well, I would go into as much detail as I think they can handle, but someone I don't know as well might get the more tactful version! I know many people who have said that they don't want tarot readings because it makes them feel exposed and vulnerable. I guess this feeling goes hand in hand with being able to digest what the cards reveal for them.

Alta	25 Jul 2004
I read for my entire family, one at a time with them all there watching, three weekends ago. That was difficult indeed and I admit I fudged some less desirable outcomes, wrapping them around advice and suggestions. Reading online I tend to be more direct, but the cards are never inexorable, there are always ways if you see it coming. When I first started tarot, I disliked it because I had the attitude that it was like fortune-telling, i.e., this is the future, and that's it, tough. It took a long while for me to find my ground, and a lot of that came through studying the I Ching. To me the IC always offers options, alternatives. And through that I gradually came to see that Tarot did that as well. I guess in an extreme case when your number is up, you can't dodge it, but for the ups and downs and life there are options. Sometimes we just don't want to take them and sometimes for not very well thought-out reasons.

blackroseivy	25 Jul 2004
In answer to above, that's where the Tarot comes in. As I emphasized, it reveals not only future trends, but alternatives in how to handle them. Alot depends also on the issue at hand, what layout you use, etc.

Seed Crystal	25 Jul 2004
I believe in choices and free will, not destiny. Mostly. So lying or fudging a reading is actually offering harm... Tarot is seeking to connect with intuition; screwing that up for people is baaad. I also believe a reading affects both reader and readee... Once long long ago, I deliberately slanted a public reading, for a skeptic who had been badgering me and my friends throughout everyone else's reading. Initially I had politely declined to read for him, but he insisted and made a bit of a scene. I read the most negative interpretations the cards allowed for him... 4 weeks later the skeptic came to me and apologized; everything read had come true as he saw it. He didn't blame me, and I hadn't cursed him, but I haven't skewed readings that way ever again. Generally I try to avoid giving advice or predictions in readings; asking and stimulating good questions seems better to me.

aneski	25 Jul 2004
I tell it like it is, even if the reading is negative in some way. I feel it is important to be honest to myself and the querent.

Logiatrix	25 Jul 2004
I've learned to softly tell it like it is. It is possible to express the truth in such a way as to keep it revealed but unglaring. I learned this tactic when I volunteered in an adult literacy program. The learners were grown-ups (fully developed egos), often with tough veneers and "chip-on-the-shoulder" attitudes. The best way to guide these individuals was to offer a compliment for every correction, such as, "You did great on this paragraph--your focus is so much better lately. How about you go through it again, paying special attention to the words we underlined?" By the same token, I like to offer the querent an upside for every downside. I don't soften or alter the negative cards in any way, I just add further information about that flicker of light at the end of the tunnel. :joke: So, the truth is still there, it's just delivered in a warm, fuzzy blanket. :)

The Do you soften the blow or tell it like it is when reading? thread was originally posted on 25 Jul 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.