Feeling a little queasy about giving a deck away...

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 17 Jul 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Kittaine	17 Jul 2004
I have no problem buying a brand-new, sealed deck for someone. But if it's a deck I've used for awhile...I don't know. The deck is Celtic Dragon. Although I've overlooked it so much these past months, I don't wanna let it go. I may not be interested in it now, but what if I suddenly find myself grasping for it much later? Like what happened with Vargo's Gothic Tarot; I wanted to give it away at first, but two months later...hah, it's my main study deck! I have this friend who wants the Celtic Dragon and I told her I'd buy her one. Of course I wanna save money, so I thought about just giving my deck away...but, well, there's the prob. lol.

morandia	17 Jul 2004
if you have used the deck, you have put part of yourself into the deck. That's hard to turn loose of sometimes!!! I have been able to give away decks to certain people - but only people I'm very close too and have a personal investement in... does that make sense? If you really want to give the deck away, you could try a cleansing of the deck - maybe smudging, or whatever ritual you wish to use. That might help lessen the attachment. when it doubt, buy them a deck and keep yours *GRIN*

Ruby7	17 Jul 2004
If it makes you feel queasy, don't do it. That's just my opinion, but there is obviously a reason that you feel queasy---as in--it just doesn't feel right. Could you loan the deck to your friend for a while? Ruby7

Sulis	17 Jul 2004
Hmmm, it sounds to me Kittaine as though you're not really ready to let this deck go. I know that the decks I've traded or given away have been decks which I just know aren't for me. Could your friend not buy her own deck? I'd be tempted to just point her in the direction of an internet site which stocks it or even better, a real life shop. It sounds as though you can't really afford to buy one for her otherwise you would have done it. Love sulis xx

littlehermit	17 Jul 2004
the short version: 1) if you give away the deck, it will be ok. 2) if you keep the deck, it will be ok. :) the long version: if you hang on to something because "it might come in handy someday", you'll find a time and place for it to come in handy. some say our subconscious will actually invent such a time and place, to justify our hanging on to things. if you let it go, you may well never encounter the time or place where the deck will come in handy. you will be sufficient with what you have, or you will be presented with the opportunity to buy or reclaim the deck. i've given away beloved sweaters that had wool in them, when i went vegan. i felt a little achy about it for a while, but knew that they were going to someone who would love them, and that it was making room in my life for something new. maybe in the end you just have to figure out what matters more to you right now: a deck you've loved in the past, or the money it would cost to buy a new one?

September Pixie	17 Jul 2004
I agree... if you are afraid you may want this deck again, then don't give it up just yet.. perhaps you can find a gently used version from one of the AT members at a discount price to save you some cash? :) There is nothing more horrible than the feeling of giving a deck away and aching for it back.

cjtarot	17 Jul 2004
Hi, 1st don't give a deck away that you even "Like" the ones to trade are the ones you got and just KNOW you don't connect with..(put it in a pretty bag and display it..you may just reach for it some day). 2nd..Get your friend to buy his/her OWN deck (unless its a b. or holiday present-then go 1/2 with another friend). This way you will both have one deck and can go thru the cards with her/him to study anytime on the phone or net or in person.. This will do 2 things, reconnect you with the deck and give your friend a chance to have something in common with you and someone to turn to with ideas about the images on the cards you will understand. I have a friend that bout the Sacred Circle after seeing mine. I bout the Shapeshifter after seeing a friends. AND my best purchase, I bout the mini Hanson Roberts after seeing Ruby Red Slippers. I like being able to discuss the decks and have the other person really know what I'm talking about.. Blessings and welcome to the world of the tarotholics.. CJ

The Seeker	17 Jul 2004
IT seems like your really not ready to give things up. i look at giving a Deck of Tatot Cards to a friend, as giving a piece of my self with the cards. cause if it is a Deck that you have been using, there is a piece of you in them. only if it is a little of your Oura. i see it as a help to your friend. giving of ones self. if you have to think of the money, your not ready to give. Giving is from the hart. i just gave my deck to a friend, i use that deck for over 15 years, as my main Tarot deck. hoping that it would be a strong deck for them. as it was for me. i got a new deck just like it, and hoped it would not be cold. still to new to tell. i think giving a warm deck to a friend gives them a better start. a deck you have on a shelf can't be as warm as one you use. it is just like a store bought deck, and if you are having 2nd thoughts on giving it up, don't give it at all. that is like giving a deck with negativity attached to it. The Seeker

TaranRavenfrost	18 Jul 2004
Now, I know you promised (or said) that you would give this deck to your friend, but you dont have to. Sit down and tell her how you feel about it. Do this over the phone, it might be easier. Now, what is your reasoning for giving her the deck? Can she not buy her own? Or was it one of those "O, you want that deck? I will give you mine!" and then later you regret it? IMHO, I think you should keep this deck. Because what if you get a calling later? You would have to go out and buy it anyway. Just tell your friend that you have a connection with this deck, and that your not ready to give it up. Then tell her that you would be happy to help her learn Tarot if and when she gets a deck. If its a money issue, you could pay for half, or maybe just give her some money tword it. You might even want to sew her a bag and reading cloth for her new deck. Just tell her how you feel, and everything will be ok.

Kittaine	18 Jul 2004
I really love giving people tarot decks! :D Gosh, if I were a millionaire I'd buy tarot decks for all my batchmates! But since I'm not, I'm limiting it to those friends of mine who're genuine about learning tarot. I've decided to buy Bernice (my dragon-loving friend) her own Celtic Dragon deck. That way we'll have something in common and we can study the Celtic Dragon together. Fun, fun, fun! :D

Tarot Sparrow	18 Jul 2004
Once again, if you're not sure, don't do it. I have the Celtic Dragon, it was my second deck. I'd wanted it for a while, and my boyfriend liked it, so I got it. He still really loves it, so I do all my readings concerning him with that deck. I think it's wonderful, but oddly, I rarely use this deck. It's very quiet in my experience, but very accurate. Even though I hardly use it, it's significant to me so I'd never give it away. But that's just me :)

Rhiannon	18 Jul 2004
I agree with CJ, make your friend buy her own deck. :) Then you can save the money and buy YOURSELF a new deck! LOL R :)

The Feeling a little queasy about giving a deck away... thread was originally posted on 17 Jul 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.