Always a common subject - payment with readings.

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 12 Sep 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Teranar	12 Sep 2004
Recently I gave a bunch of my friends tarot readings, one I refused to in high school because I kept demanding the $$$ (I did that to keep EVERYONE from begging for readings.) Well, I think I gave one person out of the 6 good news. The worst part is they all not only accepted it, but insisted I take payment. My policy is usually no payment for bad news. Not all of them paid in cash, one of them, my little brother (Who also got bad news) bought me lunch, (And for someone who's 6' tall and 128 lbs that's a real gift!) another one, Kori, pecked me on the lips. (Yes she is a girl) It felt wrong. I told them the horrid things in their lives would continue, and they deeply appreciated the readings nontheless. The only thing I got close to for good news except for Shea (Big guy, makes me look like a skeleton) was I told them how to not lose their minds. But I knew all they wanted was good news, they NEED good news in their lives, many of them are from broken families, one of them has a car but can't drive it due to lack of insurance and gas, he's almost worse off than me, and right before the hurricanes hit we saw a good friend of ours move to florida. On this note I refused the money, and they insisted, actually holding me while they stuffed money down my pants. I'm not spending it on myself, that would feel even worse. I plan on spending it all on gifts for people who need cheering up or have some special event happening. I guess the point I'm aiming at is, why would someone pay a fortune teller for bad news even when its against the fortune teller's policy? Its just my concence bothering me I guess. Hoping for feedback.

Eco74	12 Sep 2004
Preparation and Insigt I guess. Whenever I get bad news about my future, in Tarot I also get advice on how to handle it, or at the very least some insight that will help me handle the difficult situation with more clarity of mind and thus get through it still "in one mental piece" rather than scattered all over due to the chock of the sudden situations and seemingly impossible to overcome-events. This does not happen in life in general and the value of getting some insight makes it well worth giving the person providing it something to show ones appreciation of the help along the way that was provided. This is the funny thing about Tarot, unlike "real life in general". When the cards tell you you're about to have something lifeshattering happen that will change the way you percieve life, you start looking for the possibilities it will bring. While when your boss tells you you're fired and your don't have money to pay for gas you just see what you're loosing.

katie_here	12 Sep 2004
and start singing... a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. thats the philosophy I use when telling someone bad news. Its always better to sugar the pill, then people will know how best to deal with it. I think the people insisting on paying you, is their way of sugaring the pill. They are trying to make you feel better about giving them bad news, in their handling of what you have said, they are still trying to make you feel not so bad, which I think is really rather sweet. If it makes you feel bad about taking this money, and as you say, some are in dire straits, some have not had such good lives, invite them all back, offer to buy a home video/dvd, make some popcorn, whatever, and treat your friends to a little pampering.

ros	12 Sep 2004
Paying you could make your friends feel good also. You have given them a service and they want to repay you for your time. Even if it is not a lot of money, they have not used you in any way and will not be afraid to ask again for a reading. You are appreciated. It's probably good for all of you in a positive way! Take Care Teranar, ros

Ace	12 Sep 2004
Quote: Originally posted by Teranar My policy is usually no payment for bad news. Not all of them paid in cash, one of them, my little brother (Who also got bad news) bought me lunch, (And for someone who's 6' tall and 128 lbs that's a real gift!) another one, Kori, pecked me on the lips. (Yes she is a girl) It felt wrong. I told them the horrid things in their lives would continue, and they deeply appreciated the readings nontheless. The only thing I got close to for good news except for Shea (Big guy, makes me look like a skeleton) was I told them how to not lose their minds. But I knew all they wanted was good news, they NEED good news in their lives, many of them are from broken families, one of them has a car but can't drive it due to lack of insurance and gas, he's almost worse off than me, and right before the hurricanes hit we saw a good friend of ours move to florida. Tarot reflects reality as it IS. Right now. If you don't take money for bad news, are you willing to fake it when you feel a need for money... or to give good news? Of course not. Disconnect money from the what you think is a "good news" reading. Did you ever think that what you find is bad news is good for them? "I'm sorry, you are about to lose your job." "I am? great, I HATE that job, I only took it to please my Dad! Now I can go for the basketball team!" You are trying to judge the cards, not just read them. you are getting paid to give them the news. Whether good or bad is up to them. You might also be trying to read into the future, to move up the Askaskic record. I did that once, and saw all bad things. By the time you get there, you will have excerted energy and made it better, but it looks scary now. So don't do that. Read what is there NOW and stop. Look for opportunities to change things, but they have free choice to do it, so let them decide. Finally: here is a tip Astra gave me once: ask the cards for good news FOR THEM. Again, it may not be good news for you, but you are not the querent. Now take the money (or whatever is offered) as an exchange for work done, and stop feeling guilty. The truth is not bad, it is neutral. And you worked hard to give them the truth.

shelikes2read	12 Sep 2004
Quote: Originally posted by ros Paying you could make your friends feel good also. You have given them a service and they want to repay you for your time. Even if it is not a lot of money, they have not used you in any way and will not be afraid to ask again for a reading. You are appreciated. It's probably good for all of you in a positive way! Take Care Teranar, ros Also, don't discount how beneficial it is for ANY person to give to someone else. Sometimes it's what THEY need to do to feel like they're a productive member of society. Case in point: when I studied American Sign Language, I made some friends who are deaf-blind. Over the years, I've been an interpreter/guide at times, or helped out by reading printed matter that my friends can't see, etc. They're my FRIENDS, and I'm happy to do it. But sometimes, they'll do things like pick up the check if we go to dinner. That's their way of giving back, and I've learned to accept it. At first it was hard, because frankly none of us has much money. I felt guilty at the idea that someone who's on a fixed income was insisting on spending money on me. But I overcame my reluctance when I realized that they NEED to be the one who's doing the giving sometimes. It's bad for a person emotionally to always be on the receiving end of other people's efforts. Everyone needs to feel like they're capable of making a difference for other people, too. Maybe that's where your friends are, emotionally. They know you've done something for them, and they want to reimburse you for it. And maybe they don't have a lot of opportunities to be the person doing the GIVING, and they feel the need to do it. Yay for you AND your friends. :)

katie_here	13 Sep 2004
this happened a while back, i remember reading it in the newspaper. A man went to work and was involved in a car crash, it wasn't very serious, he had broken bones and had to stay in hospital. If it had been predicted by a tarot reader, would he/she have told him it was bad news.. or a lucky escape... because at the same time he was in hospital, the house next to his own was involved in a gas explosion and it brought his house down. Now if he had been home and not in the car crash he would probably have died in the explosion. so you can never tell how bad, bad news is, or how good, good news is.

Ace	13 Sep 2004
There is a Chinese parable: A farmer was working one day and a strange horse walked up and started eating his grass. He harnessed it and added it to his fold. His neighbors said, "this horse has very good lines, it may have wondered here from the war front. You are very lucky to find it!" "Lucky?" the farmer said, "maybe so, maybe not." His son rode the horse, but one day it threw him off and he broke his leg. "Oh, how horrible!" said the Farmer's neighbors, "now you will not have his help in the fields! How very unlucky." "Unlucky?" the farmer countered, "Maybe so, maybe not." While the son was still convalescent, soldiers came through looking for recruits to the Emperor's Army. The Son was not available since he had a broken leg. "How lucky!," said the Farmer's neighbors. "Lucky?" said the farmer, "maybe so, maybe not...." :D

Fulgour	14 Sep 2004
Quote: Originally posted by Ace There is a Chinese parable: :D It's good to have that "from the horse's mouth!"

Keslynn	14 Sep 2004
I definitely agree that you should not feel guilty about accepting payment in whatever form. I also agree that you should not seperate a "bad news" reading from a "good news" reading. Even if the future does look bad, you are giving your friends helpful information. Forwarned is forearmed. Now that they know that their hard times might continue, they'll be able to better prepare for it. That's a gift in and of itself. :) Kes

contrascarpe	14 Sep 2004
The more I read professionally, the more I realize that even though the Seeker comes in looking for the answers they want to hear, the true healing comes in the form of actually talking to someone (a stranger) about their problems. This past weekend I could not supply all the answers to both that came in, but they got a lot off their chest and I think I made them realize that they had more control of their lives than they thought. The second one was desperate for advice - being torn apart by things going on in her life. I pretty much told her everything she knew, gave her some hope, but the real healing was that she was able to confide in someone. She had a good cry and she left smiling. Upon leaving she happily paid the store and told them she was ecstatic. I could even see the bounce in her step. The thing to remember is to not only temper the doom and gloom in readings, but to not go over the top the other way either (on the good side). Sometimes it is soooooo clear that you have to, but there is always a sense of caution in the cards. The Seeker needs someone to talk to, sometimes someone to guide them or to be reassured they are going on the right path. Dan

Teranar	15 Sep 2004
You're all right, I shouldn't feel shame for telling someone what seems to be bad news and then profiting from it, because for all I know it may have been good news for them. My brother told me what I had told him wasn't good, but it wasn't bad either - it just ment he needed to not get involved in some petty arguments. Besides, I found out later they vented their collective frustration by trashing one of the neighborhoods they lived in, and trashed the house the one guy lives in too just to avoid suspicion, and I had mentioned something about letting his rage boil over and attack everyone, disperse some of your rage. So he did, on himself, and he wasn't caught. I'm still mad at him for that though. But instead of blindly lashing out at things almost everyone I read is instead ajusting to the news I gave them, and making ajustments in their lives. And they still say it was worth paying me. Thanks all for the reassurance, I sure seem to need a lot of it these days. -Teranar

The Always a common subject - payment with readings. thread was originally posted on 12 Sep 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.