Have you ever sinned?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 21 Sep 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

closrapexa	21 Sep 2004
A while ago I met some one gorgeous and offered to give him a reading. Now, my motive was far from altruistic, I wanted to know him better. The reading was without a doubt one of my best; long, in-depth, insightful. He was greatly impressed with the reading but uninterested in me personally. Now, afterwards, I thought to myself "Good Heavens, what have I done?!?!." I felt deeply ashamed of myself for using Tarot as a means to an end, something I swore I'd never do. Now, looking back, I think, well, nothing bad came of it, it was a good reading for the both of us and thats that. But what if something had come of it...? Has this ever happened to you? Ever stepped over your own ethical boundaries and said "Never Again!!"?

Ruby7	21 Sep 2004
Edited: oops got wrong end of stick. Post was not necessary. Ruby7

closrapexa	21 Sep 2004
Oh, I know that. I'm over it. Just wanted to know if there were any others with "criminal records"... and if so what they did.

dadsnook2000	21 Sep 2004
Well, this just proves your human. What is important now is that you think about it, accept it, and learn what you need to learn. No judgement here. We've all done things and used opportunities to gain some advantage. You are not alone and none of us will tell. Dave.

SFGMaster	21 Sep 2004
Assuming you interpreted the cards truthfully, I guess I don't even get what's wrong with that. If I take a lady that I'm interested in out for dinner, it's a type of gift and I pay. If I'm having a lunch with a business acquaintance, we each buy our own, or we alternate, or something like that. Just consider the reading as a gift to someone you were interested in. Just like flowers or a movie or lunch or something. Nothing wrong at all. Now, if you'd lied about what the cards showed in order to send him thinking about a relationship with you... that'd be different. More toward answering the question, I suppose my biggest temptation would be to read on someone else without their permission to try to gain some sort of insight on their lives. I've done it a couple of times, usually with murky, unclear results (probably because I know I shouldn't be reading on it at all). That was a long time ago, not recently since I returned to Tarot, though.

Alissa	21 Sep 2004
I agree with dadsnook and SFGMaster. Assuming you told him the truth of what you saw, then what did you do wrong? If he wanted a reading, and you could provide it, then you both got the information you needed from the event. Sounds like a win-win to me :) . I would even go so far as to say if you read on this person all by yourself for the purpose of gaining information about him, and did not share that information, that that's ok by me too. I've done that, and still do. I say, what's the point of having the ability to answer your own questions if you tie your own hands and say "I can't because I'm not allowed?" Guilt can be a wasteful emotion if it teaches us nothing in the offing. Don't let it plague you, I'd say.

closrapexa	21 Sep 2004
Alissa, you are so right. We really should enjoy the gifts we have, revel in them. However, I don't think anyone understood my post. I mean, there have been many many threads about ethics, what they are, what they are not, and what you should do about them. What I did, was then; whether I would do it again or not really depends on the situation at the time. My question, then, was this: Have you ever set yourself standards of conduct as readers and then not live up to them? I'm not asking if you failed, or if you feel bad about it, I'm asking simply what was it that you did. After all, rules were meant to be broken, and if you can't have fun with Tarot then you'd get depressed all too soon.

Imagemaker	21 Sep 2004
To me it's all about intent. If someone reads about another to get information to cheat, betray or hurt them, obviously that's bad (and it's cosmically guaranteed that the reader will get bad consequences somehow, sometime). If you have a neutral or compassionate intent, even in just an information-gathering way, then I think reading about someone else is acceptable. With reading practice, each reader will realize, deep inside or immediately, what his reading agenda is. (Another context for Umbrae's question, why do you read?) Over time, one gets more aware of those deep intents and knows whom they serve--the higher self or the acquisitive ego. But however we handle each step, it's a learning process, and that's what we're all here for.

Alissa	21 Sep 2004
Everything that Imagemaker just said... Ditto! :D I agree on every point. Intent is everything. And, "Why do you read?" is a question we should ask ourselves each time we lay the cards, I think. The answer is always different, and yes! That's how we learn. Edited to add: And yes, I've violated my own personal rules of conduct. I used the cards in a way that I later felt was inappropriate (spying) and that my motivation for the reading was questionable. I haven't repeated a reading like that again, (but I sure have read for personal gain). So I related to your point as well, closrapexa.

Sillanza	21 Sep 2004
The only thing I've done similar to this was I asked a now ex-friend if I could do a reading for her. She declined, saying that she felt there were some things that we're just not supposed to know. What I felt when she said that was that she didn't want me to know her better, and that she truly didn't want to know herself. Later that evening, it was like I couldn't help it, I did a reading about her. I never told her about this reading (or all the negative things contained in it, which ultimately came to pass), and gradually ended my friendship with her. I always felt a little bad about doing that reading, but not too bad.

smokey	21 Sep 2004
I have done the Exact same things both Sillanza and Allisa have... (practically verbatim!) I'm almost sure when I have time to really dwell on it, I will think of something(s?) else. I say dwelling time due 2 t/fact I must meditate on a period of twenty some-odd years re: Tarot, and for me...that WILL take some thought, as "ye ole grey matter just ain't what it usta' be!!!" Will reveal more when it dawns on me, & as use in spying; well...I knew without a doubt I was being watched 1st! (And in a case such as this, won't hesitate to unashamedly repeat it.) Blessings.

Ace	21 Sep 2004
Quote: Originally posted by closrapexa Now, afterwards, I thought to myself "Good Heavens, what have I done?!?!." I felt deeply ashamed of myself for using Tarot as a means to an end, something I swore I'd never do. Now, looking back, I think, well, nothing bad came of it, it was a good reading for the both of us and thats that. But what if something had come of it...? You wanted to impress him with the the fact that you read and the way you read. You did. The fact that he wasn't interested in you anyway leaves you feeling a little guilty (and maybe a little exploited and ashamed that you let yourself BE exploited), but as you say, nothing came of it. You showed off a bit, but when you came down to doing the reading, you followed your ethics: you disassocated from the reading and gave him the real thing. Nothing could have come from it UNLESS he had wanted it to, since you exerted no force or pressure on him. I don't think you should feel guilty. A little embarrassed at yourself but forgive yourself for that and move on. I am proud that I am a reader and I love the attention it gets me. But it is easy to want to push ourselves onto others when they don't really want us to. I am learning to hold back, to NOT push. But in the case you describe, he was willing and no harm was done. Forgive yourself.

The Have you ever sinned? thread was originally posted on 21 Sep 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.