Change the topic, please!

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 11 Oct 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Kath	11 Oct 2004
I did a reading for an acquaintance recently. Her boyfriend had just broken up with her, and she wanted a reading to see if they’d get back together. After the reading she asked for another one. I said that I can give her another reading, but not on the same question, as she has already gotten her answer (the cards told her to back off, give the guy some space). She said ok, and shuffled. When I did the spread, the message was similar – step back and re-evaluate your behaviour. She then said to me that the cards were telling her the same thing they told her a minute ago, and how that was amazing. I was not amazed. I was rather annoyed. I has specifically told her to ask a different question, yet she didn’t. I really felt like telling her that I was annoyed that she wouldn’t follow such simple instructions. I’m sure that some of you would have found yourselves in a similar situation. What would be a tactful way to say ‘hey, change the topic already, or I won’t read for you if you’re going to stuff me around’.

eastarot	12 Oct 2004
I feel for you. To be honest, I've given up being tactful with people who come back repeatedly with the same question hoping to hear what they want to hear. A friends husband contacts me at least once a month with the same question "Will I get rich with this deal?" The deal changes each month but almost everytime he gets the Devil. SOme people just dont know how to let go do they? Dont get annoyed with such people, its only a waste of energy. Like someone told me once "speak the truth quietely" - if she doesnt get the message, she can go to another reader. Good Luck eastarot

Eco74	12 Oct 2004
This can be a sensetive issue.. What I do is say something like; "I can't do another reading for you until things have changed. All I get is repeat answers so it seems you DO know all you need to know right now." It's difficult when people get stuck in a particular train of thought though and the question is really the same every time they ask, like "will he come back" or "when will I be happy". The most difficult thing is finding just the right way of putting it to make them understand..

September Pixie	12 Oct 2004
I would have to agree with Eco74, I know someone who always asks me the same question.. 'how can i find love, when will i meet her, etc'.. each time it tells him to focus on himself, change his situation first, and then go seeking for companionship... he STILL hasnt changed this and its been 4+ years... So, I now say, "I think the better way is asking, what can I do to better the situation.." he usually is satisfied with those answers.. at least for awhile.. you can't make people listen, but can refuse to read. :)

closrapexa	12 Oct 2004
Ye, it can be annoying. And I've had querents who have tried to fool me or the cards by asking the same question in a different perspective, but ultimately ended up fooling themselves. However, there have been situations where the question was asked and answered and then we moved on to another question, but the first question was so pressing apparently that it kind of made "cosmic static" and wouldn't let anything else filter through. In situations such as these I tols the querent this, and left them with that.

Imagemaker	12 Oct 2004
I have a friend who worries constantly about her husband. He regularly cycles through severe anxiety depending on how his construction business is doing. In her case, the constant question is "How is R's business going to go?" I don't have to ask the cards--if it's up, it's going to go down. If it's down, it's going to go up. A perpetual Wheel answer.

rosyelf	12 Oct 2004
I was recently in this frame of mind as the querent, not the reader (well, I was the reader, too, if you see what I mean). Obsessing about a particular issue, I just kept on asking the cards questions about it-changing the wording slightly each time, but it was basically the same question. And the cards were giving me POSITIVE answers ! So I see how hard it can be letting go if the answers are not what you'd like. I think it's fair to say to your client, "Please don't keep asking the same question. It won't help you. And this is the answer that's coming up." If they can't accept it, well, that's their problem, you've said your piece. love and blessings, rosyelf

shelikes2read	12 Oct 2004
Quote: Originally posted by Kath I did a reading for an acquaintance recently. Her boyfriend had just broken up with her, and she wanted a reading to see if they’d get back together. After the reading she asked for another one. I said that I can give her another reading, but not on the same question, as she has already gotten her answer (the cards told her to back off, give the guy some space). She said ok, and shuffled. When I did the spread, the message was similar – step back and re-evaluate your behaviour. She then said to me that the cards were telling her the same thing they told her a minute ago, and how that was amazing. I was not amazed. I was rather annoyed. I has specifically told her to ask a different question, yet she didn’t. I really felt like telling her that I was annoyed that she wouldn’t follow such simple instructions. I’m sure that some of you would have found yourselves in a similar situation. What would be a tactful way to say ‘hey, change the topic already, or I won’t read for you if you’re going to stuff me around’. Has she had a lot of readings, or is she fairly new to the concept of having her cards read? If she's new to it, then I think it was a valid experiment for her to ask the same question and get the same answer twice in a row. Otherwise, how else will she learn that the answer won't change until she and/or the (ex)boyfriend change what they're doing? I'm glad she got the same answer. And I hope she followed whatever good advice that she received from the reading.

Ace	12 Oct 2004
Quote: Originally posted by Kath After the reading she asked for another one. I said that I can give her another reading, but not on the same question, as she has already gotten her answer (the cards told her to back off, give the guy some space). She said ok, and shuffled. When I did the spread, the message was similar – step back and re-evaluate your behaviour. She then said to me that the cards were telling her the same thing they told her a minute ago, and how that was amazing. I was not amazed. I was rather annoyed. I has specifically told her to ask a different question, yet she didn’t. I really felt like telling her that I was annoyed that she wouldn’t follow such simple instructions. I’m sure that some of you would have found yourselves in a similar situation. What would be a tactful way to say ‘hey, change the topic already, or I won’t read for you if you’re going to stuff me around’. You did tell her tactfully and she didn't listen. Then the cards SHOWED her the reality of it. So there isn't anything more to do. She could go to a dozen psychics looking for the information to be different (and since it is saying: take responsibility for your part in it) she probably will be annoyed to find out it is still the same and she STILL doesn't want to listen. If she does ask for another reading, I would refuse until you are sure she is over this relationship. This is a common problem when you read at a table in a new age bookstore. the same people will come in over and over and ask the same question, and not want to hear that the answer is still the same. That is one reason I am not willing to work that kind of venue, I don't want to take their money for crap.

MeeWah	12 Oct 2004
This usually occurs if the querent does not recognize their own culpability in what occurs in their lives--barring any unusual circumstance. Whilst it can represent a beginning or a first step, desiring an outcome or change does not make it happen--not without work or application towards it. One can only be patient & understand that we are creatures of habit; tend to avoid change at nigh all costs as change invariably upsets the sense of security or compromises the familiar. The concept of responsibility is also abhorant as that eliminates an easy "out"; removes the not-my-fault-but-whatever's fault or any other excuse.

TheLovers2	14 Oct 2004
Quote: Originally posted by MeeWah Whilst it can represent a beginning or a first step, desiring an outcome or change does not make it happen--not without work or application towards it. _________________________________________________ Meewah: Well, sometimes, we have those "Wheel" experiences/circumstances that happen because we cannot control everything/other people and what they do, etc. So, having said that, I believe that a desired outcome or change may occur or may not occur and not always based on our efforts. quote: __________________________________________________ One can only be patient & understand that we are creatures of habit; tend to avoid change at nigh all costs as change invariably upsets the sense of security or compromises the familiar. The concept of responsibility is also abhorant as that eliminates an easy "out"; removes the not-my-fault-but-whatever's fault or any other excuse. So true, Meewah, "creatures of habit" and understanding that, it would seem, all the more reason for the Reader to be tolerant and patient. A querent's desire and pain, etc., is so real FOR THEM that the tugging for answers can't be ignored, ESPECIALLY, if they want a particular outcome. It's their life and their stuff that they keep coming back to check up on. We live in desperate times and I would imagine this kind of thing simply reflects that. At this point, I would like to say that maybe I don't know what it feels like to have this happen from the Reader's standpoint because I haven't done many Readings. The second Reading I did for a particular friend, however, was pretty much the same question (as the first - suprised?) with a different slant; and guess what? It was about his LOVE LIFE. Hey, we've all been there! That stuff is important to people. Of course, they're going to keep asking about it or whatever is important to them and keep on and keep on . . . :) I liken it to being a doctor or nurse or someone who cares for the elderly and just seeing so much of the same thing over and over again one can become desensitized to what people are going through. Now, I know Tarot Readers are not doctors, nurses, etc., but, STILL people come to Readers for help with their problems and their lives. Who knows, some of them may actually think about what their Reading revealed and try to do some of the things suggested. Maybe they do try a bit to make changes, take a certain outlook, path, responsibility, etc., (we really don't know) they probably don't come back and give a blow by blow report that, "Hey, I tried that thing, but, gave up - do you have anything new yet?" :D Maybe they just scratched the surface a bit then went right back to where they were. But, what I don't get is why it should make much difference to the Reader. Patience. Understanding. Love. Compassion. People are confused and people are hurting out there. Let them go through their process. It's their money, if they want to spend it that way, hey, what is that to the Reader, you know. At least their getting good advice for their money (hopefully). :) Unless, someone is becoming hostile or wierd or something because they can't get the "Reading they want." Just give 'em what ya' got. We're all just people -- sooner or later change will happen to them even if they won't happen to change. SHIFT HAPPENS! Whether we like it or not. :) TL2 :TLOVE

The Change the topic, please! thread was originally posted on 11 Oct 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.