Just out of curiosity..

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 28 Oct 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Mesara	28 Oct 2004
How do your family and friends react to your interest in tarot? My family/friends are accepting of my interest, but I often feel they do not understand me or my interest in tarot fully. My dad thinks it is a rather silly occupation of my time and often likes to make fun of me (all in good humor) when he sees me playing with my cards. He is a mathematician who believes in nothing that cannot be demonstrated or proved with numbers or hard core facts. My mother thought they invoked evil, so when I got my first deck in high school she put up religious figurines in the hallway to ward off any unwelcome spirits who may have used my tarot usage as a portal to access our home. It was actually quite funny. She knew my cards were important to me so she never discouraged me from using them, she just decided to take *precautions*. My super religious grandmother (bless her heart) thinks they are delightful and fun. My family and friends support my tarot habit but I still feel that they don't understand what tarot is all about. I feel awkward at times under their scrutiny when I am doing tarot things. I can tell by the way they look at me sometimes that they are thinking "Oh, how cute! She's playing with those cards again!" much like adults fawn over little kids playing with dolls or tonka trucks. It makes me feel wierd and..... lonely? I want to tell them how not all tarot people are flaky and fraudulent, that tarot offers so much more than fortune telling, etc.. But I can forsee their eyes glazing over before I even begin my speech, which would commence with them patting me on the head saying "That's nice dear", and then moving on without having heard a single word I said. I had a friend who had to hide all her tarot things whenever her Jehova Witness father came to visit, and I thought that was really sad. My family may be aggravating sometimes, but at least I don't feel I have to hide things from them.

yupkigirl	28 Oct 2004
Just like you Mesara, my family is accepting of my tarot interest. We are a Catholic family, and our educational degrees are all Science-based, so I'd like to believe we are very open-minded about a lot of things. Of my four brothers, one of them (the youngest) is starting to share my interest, so much so that I ended up giving him my Gilded Tarot set. My other brothers, while not really into it, understand my interest in it. They know I love art and history, and that's how they see the decks---another facet of my interest. They sometimes ask for readings, just for fun, and I try to make the reading as fun as I can, while trying to be honest about what the cards are saying. The Sakki-Sakki tarot is perfect for these kind of readings. Their only quibble about my tarot interest? I spend way too much on decks :D

Kath	28 Oct 2004
My family are very accepting, and I’ve read for all of them. In fact, my brother bought me my first tarot deck. I think my sister in law is a bit stand-offish regarding the cards, she’s not sure what to make of them. My friends are very supportive and often ask for readings. I haven’t ‘come out of the closet’ to all of my friends. Some of them don’t seem like the tarot type, and some I’m not sure yet. Besides, I don’t want to just blurt out ‘oh, by the way, I read tarot cards’. But I may be ‘outed’ at my Halloween party. Half of the guests there will know about my reading, and half won’t. I’m waiting for someone to say something about ‘spooky Halloween fortune telling stuff’ :) I don’t advertise at work. My boss is NOT supportive of my cards, and I have a feeling a number of my co-workers wouldn’t be either. I’ve never had to hide my cards or deny my reading. It’s so sad that some people have to read in secret. :(

loveinspirit	28 Oct 2004
i first started to play with the tarot cards as a little girl, that my great grandma kept. i was only about 6 at the time i just saw them as pretty cards, but my mum and dad knew i was different so to speak, and they tried to stop me from progressing, i used to speak to a ghost little boy who my parents said was my imaginary friend, as a child i could never really talk to them about anything.. i was then labeled a difficult child by them. because of all this, over the years things grow worst between use, i still remember reading my mums tarot books and if she caught me i made sure she didnt... she at the time was trying to be a practising witch more to control people than anything else... i dont have any more contact with any of my family not just because of this,but now i have a loving partner and 4 wonderful children who think its great for me to read tarot cards and for me to teach tarot aswell... and i feel very supported by them, which helps lots. there will always be people not understanding the tarot, and even scared of the tarot because they dont understand it, but that shouldnt stop anyone from learn them and enjoying them

rabble	28 Oct 2004
when I bought my first tarot deck I was so excited about them that I took them to work to show them off. It didn't occur to me to hide them, and thinking back there may have been a question about if they were evil or anything, but I said no, and we all had a lot of fun with them. Maybe being "out of the closet" is just who I am, so I didn't give the tarot a second though, as something that might be hidden!

acolyte	28 Oct 2004
Hi! I am a closer reader :( .No i do not read closets ;) but i read in one.Only one of my close pals and all a ya'll know that i read.Here such is seen as witchcraft and i most of the ppl here are not too open minded.But it will change with time

Original Destiny	28 Oct 2004
I gues i am fortunate because my family has always been linked in many ways to esoteric practices, Grandmother a medium, Auntie, psychic, mother intuative. Father a Mason My friends, well its a different matter, i choose to share with some and not others

Vilyariel	28 Oct 2004
my parents arent bothered at all [although my nan would be horrified if she found out!] Mum thinks it's fine, because they can't hurt you, so they must'nt be bad. she doesnt really believe in this kinda thing either, so she thinks its nonsense and 'a waste of money' buying decks. on the other hand, dad doesnt really know what tarot is, 'just that thing they do at the show...tell your fortune, or whatever it is'.

seaofclouds	28 Oct 2004
One thing that I have noticed with being "out of the closet" as a tarot reader... It seems that my friends all seem to come to me as some sort of water dispenser of the fountain of knowledge or something. I often feel like there's a lot of pressure to give really good advice, whether I have the cards with me or not. I also get asked really strange and random or really difficult and deep questions quite often. Sometimes I just shrug and say, "I'm not psychic!" (because I don't like that label). My family and I diverge on the spiritual issues, so while I'm sure they know I read tarot cards (you can see the books on my shelf), I'm sure they don't think much of it. I'm not really close to my family like that, and I have no desire to read cards for any of them. ~Sea~

SeraphSarah	28 Oct 2004
Psychic ability runs in my mothers side of the family so She's very supportive and helps me a lot. My mom missed out on the psychic gene however lol. But she is the one that helped me thru it. My dad did not even believe in psychic abilities or tarot cards until I started to do it as my job and he got to se how it worked and the results-Now he's all for it. My sister can do the same things I can but she's more Afraid of it I think. She does not use her abilities at all.

rosyelf	28 Oct 2004
I've very recently been staying at my parents' place for a few days. Although I went with my brand-new Nefertari Tarot (superb, by the way-it's a keeper), I knew I'd only be able to look at it in the bathroom. This is both rather ludicrous and rather sad. My Mum is an enlightened Catholic who is very accepting and respectful of other world religions and philosophies but shies off from tarot cards as if they were nerve gas. On the only occasion she espied my cards I tried to explain that they were "archetypes, like in Jung" but I know I didn't convince her. When I make one of my treasured trips to Glastonbury my Dad says "Everyone in Glastonbury is WEIRD", so I haven't even bothered mentioning the cards to him-no point. (As for weirdness, this is a bit rich, coming from someone who is almost certainly suffering from a major personality disorder.) I love the cards and I know they help and inspire me in various ways and I know they're not evil, so I leave it at that. As for friends, some are tarotists themselves (yeah !), some would have an occasional reading "for fun", some aren't into tarot themselves but aren't worried about it either, and some would (I suspect) have problems with it. With the last of that group, I don't talk about it. Why rock the boat ? I still want their friendship and I don't need them (or anyone else) to approve of all my interests. love and blessings to all, rosyelf

Flavio	28 Oct 2004
I've always showed interests and hobbies quite different from the rest of my family so when Tarot came to my life my family (and my friends) wasn't very much surprised about it, my mother still have doubts because she is afraid I get possesed by any kind of dark entity so she always ask me don't forget about God while doing Tarot, no matter how many times I explain to her there is no such risk she doesn't change her mind but she is not telling me to quit Tarot. My boyfriend had his doubts when he first saw me using Tarot cards but now he is 100% OK with it as he has seen the positive effects of a reading for self-discovery and advice. Edited to add.

shelikes2read	28 Oct 2004
I'm kind of in an in-between state... my older friends all know I read Tarot -- and most of them learned how to right along with me, when we were all in high school. My family knows, too... though it's been so long since I've read cards in any of their presence, I'd bet that a lot of them have forgotten all about it. Newer friends (ie, people I've met within the past 10 years) mostly don't know, not because I felt the compulsion to hide it, but because the subject never came up. It might be about to START coming up, though, due to a charity event that will take place soon (more on that in a moment). My husband is one of the few people who are in that under-10-years-of-acquaintance category who not only knows, but is NOT exactly delighted over the cards. But he knows I've been using card readings to supplement my (miniscule) income, and since that extra, occasional boost in income is helpful, he doesn't object. But out of respect for him, I don't use the cards in his presence. It's not like I have the cards out 24/7, after all. It's no particular trouble to wait till he's using the computer upstairs, or until he's gone to bed, to dig out the cards. Having no one else around when I'm doing a reading or studying a card makes for fewer distractions, anyway. ;) Besides... I honestly believe that over time, he'll come around. As long as I don't shove the concept of Tarot Cards down his throat constantly, I think he'll grow to be OK with them. Next up: my intent to do readings at that fund-raiser event in a few weeks. My husband and I *are* going to attend that, so if they are able to set me up with a table, there's no avoiding the fact that he'll be seeing me do readings. I suspect that the concept of my doing readings to raise money for CHARITY will make the idea more palatable to him. I hope so, anyway. We'll see.

Ace	28 Oct 2004
My parents watched me go through stages: as a kid, I wanted to be an oceanographer, after college (and setting up career as a librarian) I became interested in the Society for Creative Anachronism (a medieval recreation group) and sent them pictures of me in very ornate costume. I bored them with talk of spinning, knitting and needlework and adventures at Science Fiction conventions. I even helped start and run a very success Dr Who fan club (which they never could relate to at all.) So when I took up Tarot, I don't think they really thought it was more than just another fad. When I quit my job, now that was a little different! For others, my friend either think it is cool (I was whispered to by friends from the beginning: "coming to my party? good! ah, Barb, can you bring your cards?" ) or do it themselves already! And my last Library boss thought it was all a hoot, he would greet me with "Hey, Barb, read my palm!" all the time. He was good too about letting me change schedules if I needed to, or getting days off to work psychic fairs. I also gave readings and suggestions to all the police who walked the beat around the library I worked at, but I was circumvent outside of the branch. Some of my co-workers there were more strong in their religious beliefs and this disturbed them. But when I took my very last library job, after the interview I had to explain why I was taking a HUGE step down to apply here, I told them about what I was going into and they really got a kick out of it! Mostly, they were understanding, like my previous boss, they would allow me to shift schedules if I needed to. So I have never been in the closet about it. My dad asks me to bring cards when I got to Detroit to visit my folks, my Sister in law had a tarot party for me to make money while there, and my mom? she just rolls her eyes....

Mesara	28 Oct 2004
Thanks for sharing everyone! Sounds like most of us have rather accepting families and friends who are willing to back our interest even if they don't understand it themselves. For those *closet* readers :) I think you all are doing the right thing by giving those loved ones room to come around themselves. At work, a rumor was going around that I was satanic. (Not true, for the record). I think it started when I began wearing this really pretty pentagram necklace that a loved one gave me for a present. I honestly thought everyone in today's age knew that pentagrams were not a symbol of evil, but I guess not. And then the rumor got even more fueled when I started bringing my cards to work to do readings for people there. If i had known people were thinking I was satanic, I wouldn't have brought my cards I guess. These people weren't trying to be mean in their talk about me. Most of them who were asking my friend if I was satanic were friends of mine also, they just didn't feel comfortable asking me, so I wasn't offended by the speculation. I was just kind of surprised that pentagrams and tarot cards were still associated with evil here in *hip* Seattle. I feel good knowing that I have given these people a new perspective about tarot readers and pentagram wearers :).

Emerald	28 Oct 2004
I am also a bit of a closet reader. My husband isn't sure about the cards but just lets me get on with it. I do not let people know outside of the home. I am going to someday but I will wait until I have a lot more study done. I think if my friends thought I could 'read' the cards they would drive me crazy looking for readings. I like to have some little secret parts in my life. Something that is just for me.

April	28 Oct 2004
I've been pretty lucky as far as my immediate family goes. The extended family is a different, much more boring story I that don't wanna tell. I purchased my first deck at 14 and soon after I started dabbling in witchcraft. I don't know if that's why they're tied together in my mother's head or some other reason, but she would often poke her head into my bedroom while I was doing a reading and tell me not to cast spells on my mother. I think my dad just thought I was playing solitaire or something. :D Now that I have my own money, my parents are bewildered by my Tarot collection. "Why do you need so many?" So I ask her why she needs so many shot glasses and she drops it, but not before she reminds me that I could afford all the silly decks I want if I just quit smoking. :smoker: Now that I think of it, people are much more tolerant of my Tarot than my cigerettes. But I remember that I live in a free country and I can do both at the same time if it makes me happy! -End Tangent- Most of my friends are happy 'cause they get free readings. Peace, April

VGimlet	29 Oct 2004
My first Tarot deck of cards my dad split the cost with me. He was always good about doing that with us kids - we had to work for part of the money, so we'd appreciate the things we really wanted. My parents were not religious as such, although both my parents had pretty strong spiritual sides. I had an aunt and uncle that were against it, but my parents told them it was none of their business - no one else really cared. Almost everyone at my work has been pretty accepting of it - I work in a library too, but many/most of the librarians are old hippies. :D My husband is not into Tarot himself, but he isn't against it either. He accepts that it will always be part of my life - I made no secret of the fact I read the cards when we met. We've kind of traded info - he can tell people "Death does not mean you are going to die" and I can tell you that Juan Pablo Montoya won the last F1 race.

acolyte	29 Oct 2004
Well seems some ppl are from very tarot tolerant families.Here in Kenya things are really interesting.People do not know much about tarot so i could pass it off as a card game of some sort if i went public.Anyway what is very interesting is that many ppl here will go to church but will still go out and buy charms,geniees,see some sort of diviner or get someone to cast a hex for them.how they reconcile this i do not know.anyway back to the topic don't let me sidetrack ya'll

Alta	29 Oct 2004
My siblings all know now. I finally told them all. For the longest time no one ever asked for a reading except my one sister in law. Last summer I went for a trip with my younger sis and she did ask for a reading! I was so surprised. And all I had with me was my Tiny Universal... yep, the one about a half inch by an inch. Did the job though. And she *really* wanted to talk and the reading resonated. My mom and dad, I appear to have a mistake about. I think I mentioned this elsewhere, but when we were cleaning out the house after mom died (dad having died 11 years earlier) my brother came up and said "Are these yours?" and handed me an RWS deck and a book by Eden Gray. This is what I started with, but those were not mine. The book had notes in it in my father's hand-writing! I was astonished. While dad died in 1985 he had had Parkinson's for at least 15 years, and had been helpless for at least 6 of those. I wonder if he knew about my interest (I started tarot in 1971, when I was 22) and had bought the book and deck... or, if he was interested himself. In persona, he was a quiet, stuffy solicitor. Too bad, too late to ask questions.

RedMaple	30 Oct 2004
My brother thinks I will burn in hell My husband couldn't understand what I found in the cards, and very politely inquired why someone with "my intelligence" would read Tarot. Now he understands them as a system of symbolic or metaphorical language, not much different than poetry (we are both poets) and actually suggested I do some Tarot counselling. My friends either want a reading, or tease me about my Madame Xenobia complex. My son accepts the cards as a normal part of life. My grandson (2 years old) and I "read" the cards together -- which consists of going through a deck and identifying/telling story about each image. I'm not out of the closet in work environments....:) RedMaple

ihcoyc	30 Oct 2004
Quote: Originally posted by acolyte many ppl here will go to church but will still go out and buy charms,geniees MENTAL NOTE TO SELF: next time I am in Nairobi, be sure to bring back a genie. My parents were rather incredulous when I started getting involved in tarot, but that was thirty years ago and they have mostly gotten used to the idea. My friends tend to be into that sort of thing themselves, so it has never really been an issue.

Formicida	30 Oct 2004
I did a reading for my sister that convinced her to buy her own deck :) I'm not really comfortable telling the rest of my family, though. We're pretty much "don't ask, don't tell" about spiritual-related matters, though. My friends mostly understand, although I keep pretty quiet since I've gotten the "Oh, how cute, she's playing with her little cards again" reaction from some.

tao51	31 Oct 2004
Tarot has been part of my family for as long as anyone can remember. I do have a son who dislikes hearing about it. I read for many family members and I have relatives that reciprocate. My ancestors have long revered the Tarot.--Tao

SunChariot	01 Nov 2004
I find this question interesting.:-) I just started this May (2004). I ordered my first deck online, on this site actually. :-) When it showed up, my boyfriend who I have lived with for the past 15 years (who is usually one of the gentlest men I have ever know) saw what they were and got this funny look on his face and said "Who talked you into that???" Which really kindof shocked me, the almost anger in his voice coming from him. I told no one "talked me into anything". That I read up on them and it was something I felt I needed to do. Right before I started reading up on them and ordered my first deck, I was having a serious problem in my life that I really did not know what to do about. Everynight I would come online to this site that read your "runes" to try and figure it out. But I was not getting the message I was supposed to learn, I know. Because every second or third day the runes would tell me "I was misunderstanding G-d's wishes". One day I was so confused, and tired and lost. I knew there was something I needed to see and I was not seeing it. And out of nowhere I found an add for a Tarot card site. And I came here, and read ordered the deck, and the cards did give me the answers and much more too. And I totally adore my Tarot now. Anyway, when the cards came and my boyfriend was all "Who talked you into that???" I told him that it was somethign that meant a lot to me, and I would never talk about something that meant a lot to him with that kind of disrespect. Now I am always working on Tarot in my spare time, and he is careful not to say anything to me about it at all now. My mother's reaction was:"You don't really believe in THAT do you??? How can you be so dumb. gullible..." She went on to tell me that her grandmother had read Tarot cards to make money and that she just made up whatever she thought the people wanted to hear and took their money.(sigh) I told her that just because her grandmother did not know how o read the cards does not mean it cannot be done...She is still distressed that I can be so dumb, but otherwise she has decided no real harm can come of it. So she is trying in her way to accept it.:-) Other than that, everyone else when I tell them, wants a reading. And then there is everyone here, who is such a big help.:-) See you all later. Bar

carly	02 Nov 2004
Grr, stupid comp logged me off, here we go again... At first my mum was all no way, never ever ever. I used to have to hide all my tarot windows on the comp whenever she came into the room (most of them were AT :)). Then she was "when you're 16" (I'm 15 just now, 16 in July). Then "I can't ban you". In the end the drove me to one of the only decent bookshops in Scorland and helped pay for my decks :D. She just told me not to make a big deal of it, but I don't have to hide my comp windows anymore. She told her friend, who asked if I was any good at it, and could give her a reading (scary thought). My mum has asked for a reading too, to get her monies worth... My friends... well, under advice form my mum, and the I Ching and myself, I've chosen not to tell most of them. I've only told my *best* friend, who is like "whatever..." (that's y I love her :)). She just thinks that it's too general, and you interperate it to suite yourself and your situation, and I'm like "that's the point"... But it's cool. As to all my other friends... I'm not really super close to all of them, and I really don't think they'd care much, exept ask a load of questions and think I'm more of a weirdo :D. Carly

lunakasha	02 Nov 2004
Great question.... My parents know of my interest in tarot....I tried to keep it secret initially, because I had no idea how they would react, as they are both practicing Catholics. I was afraid they might see the cards as "evil" but they seem to be indifferent about it. I have never really discussed tarot with my dad (we are not very close so we don't talk much anyway) but when my mom expressed an interest, I was pretty much blown away....and it was nice to finally "come out" with her. Actually, when she first saw my Gilded cards, she was so excited she asked me to give her a reading!!! :eek: Which reminds me....I still need to do that, hehehe!!! Guess I am a little hesitant about it, not sure why. All of my brothers know....one of them is indifferent and probably thinks it is "silly" but he and I are not close and his reaction did not surprise me at all. Another brother has a deck and has dabbled in tarot over the years, which I only discovered recently. And my youngest brother has asked me for readings....he is definitely the most open-minded of the three and has given my a lot of feedback. He seems to be the only family member who sort of understands my obsession with tarot because we actually talk about it often.... Some of my friends know and are interested....others seemed uncomfortable at the mere mention of tarot, so I dropped the subject. It is not that I feel I should hide my interest, just that I want to be sensitive toward people's feelings. If anyone asks me questions about tarot, I am always MORE than happy to talk about it, but otherwise, I don't go too far with it. Surprisingly, I have found that people I was reluctant to tell are actually very much interested in having their cards read....it works out well, they get free readings and I get lots of practice!!! :) :) Luna

Pebbles	06 Nov 2004
Everyone is pretty cool about it. Most people peoples reaction is "Wow, your into that?" Can I get a reading? ...My tarot collection isn't that big yet but Mother seems to think I only need one deck. LOL She asks for readings. My Father says he can't believe that I believe in "that stuff". He think it's just a scam, & that tarot readers tell people what they want to hear. One time my nephew showed a deck to a friend of mines & her reaction was "I don't believe in that ____."

Shalott	06 Nov 2004
Pebbles wrote: ...My tarot collection isn't that big yet but Mother seems to think I only need one deck. LOL She asks for readings. Teehee: this seems to be the most comon thing I have to explain: why do you need more than one deck? Then I explain that they're like beer: they're all different, most ppl get that. (However, I do only use 2 anymore...'nother story...) My dad understands. He's been into numerology, handwriting analysis, astrology, Egar Cayce etc etc for a long time, though. He asks for readings. My mom, who is considers herself to be the very epitome of practicality, says "I don't believe in such things!" When I was a kid she thought they were evil. Now she just look down her nose at them. My brother may know, I think my dad's mentioned it to him, my sister however, is like my mom's mini-me and if she did know, would also, without question, look down her nose at them. My best friend is even more New Agey than I am, so she thinks it's pretty cool. Most ppl have reposnded positively, but I try to judge whether someone will react negatively and avoid bringing Tarot up - like one of my new co-workers, his father works for Billy Graham Ministries, so I would wait a while before breaking it to him! ;)

The Just out of curiosity.. thread was originally posted on 28 Oct 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.