Unsupportive Family?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 15 Nov 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Kit	15 Nov 2004
Come on now, who out there lacks the courage to come out about their interest in tarot to their family? I know I'm not the only one! :( While I know being secretive just makes something seem worse when discovered, my father and I have never seen eye to eye on these sorts of things. If he found a tarot deck in the house, he burn it or throw it out. Then he may contemplate throwing me out. The result would be a bit like The Tower- I would probably throw myself out the window to escape from him! It's not that I don't love him, he's wonderful really, but I could never face his reaction. My mother knows I read tarot (she wouldn't have but she's such a snoop) but her usual response on finding me with my cards or a book is "put that away before your father sees it" or "that stuff is all rubbish, why do you waste your money on it?". Then she usually finishes up with something sarcastic and cutting and goes away. I think she's scared. Poor Mum. I don't think she thinks I'm serious about tarot, and thinks I just dish out cards and read meanings out of an "instruction" book (the sort that comes with each deck). I'd love to talk with her about tarot, find out what her problem is and explain why it interests me. I've dreamt of her asking me these things before, but in real life she just doesn't want to know. So who else is (or has been) stuck in a house with people they hide their tarot from? I've been hiding my tarot for a year and a half. It's not the easiest thing to do. Raeven

WalesWoman	16 Nov 2004
Me! It's a personal thing, but yeah, I don't advertise the fact at all to anyone really. A few of my friends know, but haven't beaten a path to my door for readings, they just aren't into it. They may look at their daily horoscope in the newspaper and that's about it. Maybe I'm a big chicken or know they think I'm wierd enough as it is and will think I've gone off the deep end for sure. That or I'm avoiding censure, disapproval or 'are you nuts?' attitudes. Everyone is so down to earth in my family and Tarot doesn't fit into their world view. They live 1500 miles away so it doesn't matter. But I have considered creating two different pages to get into my gallery website, one that takes them from the family pages and doesn't have a link to the Tarot stuff. It's mostly me, not them. I don't have to worry about getting thrown out of the family or anything like that...but that is why I do my readings most of the time in the bedroom. My partner is curious, my kids are really curious, but I just don't feel real comfortable sharing it with them...sort of like having someone reading over your shoulder or something that inhibits me. For some darn reason I want the kids to be a bit older and less impressionable before I take their curiosity seriously.

Keslynn	16 Nov 2004
Me! *waves hand* All my friends know, and my partner is incredibly supportive. I even read professionally in a shop near where I live. But... I still haven't told my parents and I don't know that I ever will. I had a hard enough time getting them to swallow my interest in astrology. So, I actually lead a double life. I have a seperate webpage for my tarot and pagan stuff. I also hide away my decks and books when they come to visit. Does the double life mean I'm a superhero? ;) Kes

Pook	16 Nov 2004
Yup, me too. My fiance knows about my "weird side" (as he calls it) and even bought me my first deck forever long ago, but doesn't really understand what it means. I have tried to involve him, ie. asked if he wanted a reading at different times, but he always says no and that it doesn't mean anything to him. My best friend is very into it, but doesn't have time to practice much hersalf, so whenever she has a question for the cards, she calls me. And other than that, besides all of the great people here on AT, there is only 1 other person who even knows I read tarot cards and she has rolled her eyes the only two occasions it has ever come up. My mom once found me playing with my uncles cards when I was younger, and yelled at me to "go put those devil's cards back where you got them" and promptly gave me a looong lecture about what the bible says about divination. I have since read the bible on my own and have interpreted it much differently than she must have back then, so I dont think that I will ever 'come out' to my mother about what I do. And as for the others....well maybe I'm scared that they will react in the same manner as my mom did and think the worst of me. I honestly am just not prepared to debate it with them as there is much I still want to learn. Maybe in time, I will feel differently.

rosyelf	16 Nov 2004
Raeven, I feel for you ! I don't share a house with people who don't understand , but when I visit my parents for short stays- 3 or 4 days, usually-I find I do need to hide the cards. That's hard enough. To have to do it EVERY DAY must be VERY stressful. In theory, there's no reason why we should have to. In practice, it's probably going to create too much conflict if we "come out." My parents would be respectful of me becoming a Muslim, a Sikh, or whatever (at least, i THINK they would) but there's still this feeling around that Tarot is, if not exactly evil, certainly dodgy. Not the sort of thing intelligent people do. Not the sort of thing sane, balanced people do. And so on. I've tried to explain to my Mum that it's about archetypes and personal experience and NOT about fixing the future in stone, but she wasn't really listening. I felt there was fear involved-of what ? That I'd give up my autonomy and become a freak of some kind ? I'm not sure. Even if I did, is that really her business ? . .I've not raised the subject with my father. This is a man who thinks I'm weird because I don't usually cook a roast for Sunday lunch ! Also, he's the most terrible interferer-who are my friends ? where did I meet them ? what do they do for a living ? are they male or female? (All these questions really translating into "I don't approve of you. Your friends are weird. Why can't you be NORMAL, like me ? ") My father has had "mental health issues" all his adult life, so the bit about normality is a bit rich, but there you have it. There are some things I need to share with them, some things I don't. If I feel someone might be interested or at least tolerant, that's great. But some folk just can't cope with it. Raeven, I wish you luck with being yourself, including your interest in tarot. I get the impression you are very young. May there be a time when you can have a home where you don't have to hide away cards as if they are a dirty secret. :)

Bazaa	16 Nov 2004
Well, I'm still young, so my family just see it as a game for me. In fact, it was my father who bought me my actual deck, but that's a mistery. :s Maybe he didn't understood what he was buying ^^; Anyway, I only do readings for myself, so I think they've forgotten that I have and use the cards. My mother knows it because she goes into my room very often and knows almost everything about my life >_< But the best thing is to don't say anything to your family, if they can be aggressive when talking about that subjects. It's about how tolerant and open-minded people are, I think :/ But if you feel bad about it, then go ahead and face them!

Cielo	16 Nov 2004
My family is very supportive about my little "hobby", they think it is sort of harmless...my sisters always ask for readings before any major or minor decisions to be made, on the other hand, the community that I live in, which is an orthodox jewish settlement, tend to think that I am somewhat of a witch, definately weird (especially since I also practice Shiatzu and healing) . Not that I advertise reading my cards, but a lot of people know anyway (and come here in secret to get readings....*LOL*), it is just not considered something legitimate here, so I tend not to flaunt it around. However,- I have been able to sort of sell the idea to some of the more conservative people, pointing out that the tarot seem have many things in common with the Kaballah....to other people that point just seem to freak them out even more. Bottom line, I do my own thing, without paying too much attention to what other people think. As long as my immediate family and friends are supportive, I guess I shouldn't spend too much energy on what other people think........ Love & Light, Cielo

noby	16 Nov 2004
Well, none of my loved ones are antagonistic about my interest in tarot. Some are curious and ask questions about it. My younger sister saw my pack of tarot cards and asked me to do a spread for her, which delighted me, as it would have been my first reading for someone else, but sadly, we never got around to it. But while there's no serious antagonism, I do get shit for it, especially from my S.O. It's not so much viewed as weird or Satanic, but flaky, New Age, goofy, something to be teased over. Definitely, as rosyelf said, a perspective that it is "Not the sort of thing intelligent people do. Not the sort of thing sane, balanced people do." And I just grin to myself and think, "If they only knew half of it!" as I've had lots of thoughts on magic and witchcraft and what those things mean lately. Rather than having my feelings hurt or feeling down because of it, I'm amused by and take delight in the teasing I get for it, but I've always been somewhat contrary. It sucks living with parents who are judgmental, closed-minded, and controlling. And it sucks to be seriously judged, and dismissed, due to one's interests, especially when the people doing the judging are not informed about what they're judging and do not wish to be. I feel for you. My attitude has always been to just be who I am, screw anybody that has a problem with it, but while my parents didn't always approve of my choices, they never were the type to forcefully quash even my most flamboyant expressions of personality, so I've been lucky to have always been able to be myself without fear of violent or forceful reprisal for it. I hope you get to talk to your mother about it at some point, I'm sure it would at least be encouraging to have someone who understands where you're coming from, even if they still disapprove. Don't let it get to you too much - the people with closed minds are the ones that lose out in the end. Be happy that you're confident enough to follow through on your dreams and interests and be yourself, instead of being someone who gives up out of fear of what other folks think. It's a great source of strength and character to be willing to listen to other perspectives, but not to cave in just to avoid being judged a certain way. Life's too short, and the world too grand a place, to be a sheep or automaton.

earthlady	16 Nov 2004
I hide my cards from my family, but not my friends. I have some friends that live in the country and invite me often for the weekend. I've brought my cards several times and done several readings for them. I can't tell most of my family, they are fundamental christians. My sisters aren't, but I have a funny relationship with them--knowledge is somehow linked to power, as if they can use this against me, so I never really tell much about my personal self. I see my one sister fairly often, but keep things light and casual, that is the best way I've found to retain my boundaries. It is not so hard to hide these things, because I don't live with them. And I'm not ashamed or in any way sensitive about it, if they find out I'm happy to tell them--but I won't unnecessarily flaunt my interests. That would hurt them and I know they love me and don't want me to "go to hell" as inevitably they believe I would.

Kit	16 Nov 2004
Keslynn wrote: Does the double life mean I'm a superhero? Yes!!! We are all superheros! So glad I'm not the only one who occassionaly has to rush to (gently) shove their cards out of site when parents/others are in close proximity! At least my friends are supportive, I should be thankful for that. :) In an ideal world we could all come out into the open about our relationship with the "devil's cards" :D ...until that ideal world comes into being, I think I will try and talk to my mother about why tarot is important to me. There's no promising she'll listen but I think it's the best thing I can do. It's easy for me to tell other people who have a problem with me reading tarot, or people who have a tarot issue to get stuffed, but when it comes to family...it's an entirely different story! Is that the same for everyone else? I'm so glad everyone here has shared their stories. I was waiting around on the forum, checking this thread on and off for ages, and no one posted! I guess all you people on the other side of the world were sleeping or eating breakfast or something...:| Thankyou ALL! I feel alot better about my whole family/tarot problem now. Raeven

Emily	17 Nov 2004
Tarot is my hobby but its one I do keep to myself. My family don't really understand or want to understand. I move my cards when my Mom comes to visit and my hubby thinks they are a waste of money even though his hobbies cost alot more than mine does. I doubt that he even knows or is bothered by just how many decks and books I have. He's never let me do a reading for him although I have done readings on him without him knowing. My 7 year old son likes my cards though :) - he gets very interested when I have a new deck and I do show him and let him handle them.

Waterdancer	17 Nov 2004
My younger stepsister has a couple of decks but she doesn't study them. I haven't told her the rest of my family yet because I really don't want to hear their opinons right now. I am sure they would tell me that I should spend my time and money on something else.

Robin	17 Nov 2004
i'm so happy to see this post cause I felt as though I was the only one going through that. I use to hide it from my parents and then when i moved out I and in with my boyfriend, I just stopped studying completely. Then I started again and hide it from my live-in-boyfriend for about 1 year until I met a co-worker at his job who reads the tarot. After seeing how comortable he was with talking to her about it I came out too. Of course deep down he thinks I am crazy for trying to learn and he still doesn't think that I was studying before he came into the picture, all in all he is fine with it. Although he doesn't want me to read for him though.

ambermoon	17 Nov 2004
I'm sad for those who can't share the pleasures of tarot with their families, and I greatly admire your dedication to go quietly onward. My father, may he rest in peace, would have been OK with it. I know he consulted a psychic reader when he was a young man (in the 1940's). He was nominally Roman Catholic, but followed a lot of the old traditions that were deeper within him than the church's traditions. My mother knows and supports my interest in tarot. She has an interesting perspective on a lot of things--fearful of stereotypical words, but not of the truth behind them. She couldn't come out and say that I read tarot, but she appreciates the concept that the cards reveal possibilities and lessons, enjoys the artwork, and loves the spread cloths and tarot bags that I make. Similarly, she couldn't come out and say that her daughter is a witch, yet she respects and even practices some of the traditions alongside me. So, with her, I know to avoid the words with the bad stereotypes and concentrate on the realities.

Island Dreamer	17 Nov 2004
My husband is downright hostile towards anything to do with my pagan beliefs, collection of books and decks, even my small altar, crystals and candles :( So I keep everything to do with tarot hidden away in a cupboard and I hardly dare use my decks unless I know he is actually out of the house. This is hard when we both work from home and he is liable to walk in on me at any time ..... But, on balance, we have been happily married for over twenty five years (celebrated our Silver Wedding anniversary last May) and he is a wonderful man - supportive, caring, hard working, dedicated and a great husband and father. I can't count the number of times that people have said I am so lucky to have such a fabulous husband. Nevertheless, I cannot understand why he feels so angry and resentful about my pagan beliefs and tarot decks. It is beyond me. But there is obviously something deep within him that cannot bear the thought of me 'dabbling' in this 'New Age nonsense'. It's not something I am ever going to change, I fear, and so I simply hide it from him. I have no other choice. But I do feel so envious of those here who have supportive families and can use their tarot decks openly without being afraid of cruel ridicule, hurtful teasing and scorn. Dreamer

earthlady	17 Nov 2004
There will always be those that don't understand or tolerate our beliefs. I think we can love them, and allow them to love us, and that should be enough... E.

Melpomone18	18 Nov 2004
I too am glad to see this post. I don't get much grief from my family as my father is heavy into mysticism and occult studies, he's the one who gave me my first deck. My mother isn't really into those things, but she has a sort of mild curiousity about them and all in all considers it a harmless little hobby (whenever I'm home she begs me to do readings for her). My problem stems from my boyfriend. It's not that he thinks that the cards are evil, he just basically sees all new age pursuits as a waste of time. He has told me in no uncertain terms that he feels Tarot, Astrology, Runes, etc. are "crap." Of course my answer to that is "good for you, I'm still going to do what makes me happy." And I must admit that sometimes I whip them out with extra panache whenever he's around just to get under his skin a teeny bit. (But I suppose that's wicked of me ) He feels the same way about dream analysis and just about anything spiritual. He even rolled his eyes when I started talking to him about the teachings of Yoga. Basically he is scientifically-minded to the point of being a pain (although I try to remind him gently that science is, in itself, a highly spiritual discipline), and if it can't be proved in a lab he has little or no interest in it. We can at least find some crude form of harmony, though, as long as I refrain from calling him "The Knight of Pentacles" (which he hates, but sometimes I just can't resist!) And as long as he refrains from growling too loudly while I'm doing a reading. We still have yet to find any true common ground on this issue and sadly, I think we never will. It's hard not being able to share something so precious to me with one of the most special people in my life. So, for now my only solution is to hide all of my most recent acquisitions (he balks more if he notices a new deck) and thank my lucky stars that Amazon uses plain brown packaging.

fairyhedgehog	18 Nov 2004
Island Dreamer wrote: My husband is downright hostile towards anything to do with my pagan beliefs Hi Island Dreamer, I've been married for 25 years this year, too :) My husband is fairly anti-Tarot but I'm lucky that he isn't as hostile to it as your husband is - that must make it very difficult for you. I suppose it is easier for him that I have a lot of ambivalence about Tarot myself - I love the cards, I love using them for personal development, but I don't use them for divination at all as that doesn't chime with my own belief system. Even so, I don't usually get my cards out when he is around. It must be very hard when you are both around all the time and you get so little chance to get out the cards without interruption. All the best, fh

Island Dreamer	18 Nov 2004
Thanks fairyhedgehog :) Congratulations on your 25th Anniversary too - where did those years go? Sometimes it seems like only yesterday ;) I'm resigned to my husband's intolerance in this particular instance - there's not much I can do to change it. I don't know what I'd do without online pagans :) Dreamer

Formicida	25 Nov 2004
I'm coming into this conversation a little late, but I also don't feel comfortable talking to my parents about my tarot interest. It's not that I think they'd tell me I was going to hell or anything. I think I'd be more likely to get bemused tolerance--"Well, it's harmless, but she really ought to know better." In a way I think that's worse, or at least more disheartening, than outright condemnation. On the other hand, I think some of the disapproval I feel may come from me projecting my discomfort onto others. I feel a lot of guilt for delving into spiritual matters, and I think that makes me feel the need to hide it from people who might not actually mind.

shelikes2read	26 Nov 2004
I've been married for about five years, but I've known how to read cards for a lot longer than that. However, it never came up as an issue between my husband and me until recently, mostly because I knew he wouldn't be too happy about it and I saw no need to create a disagreement where there was none before. If I used the cards at all, which was infrequently at best for the past few years, I just made sure to do so after he'd gone to bed, or when he wasn't home. It's not that I'm ashamed of the cards. I'm not. And it's certainly not that I feel that using them is wrong; if I thought it was wrong, then I wouldn't do it in the first place. But I was pretty sure that it'd make him uncomfortable, at best, so I figured that out of respect for his feelings, I'd just keep quiet about it. And then came this past summer. I was in search of a way to supplement the not-so-great earnings I receive at a temporary job, I have, when my husband and I went to the New Jersey (USA) shore with some friends. There are numerous storefront shops along the boardwalk where one can get card readings, palm readings, psychic readings, etc. We happened to be passing one such shop, when one of the readers came out from the psychic shop and bought a soda at a neighboring store. I took one look at her and thought, "Good grief. I think my card deck's older than she is". And that was no exaggeration. Well, that made me think. If I've been reading cards longer than a professional reader has been breathing, then I certainly have enough experience to turn pro, as well. Since I haven't got the funds to run off and start a storefront shop of my own, I decided to establish a website instead, as well as offer readings via a few online auction sites and see what came of it. (What has come of it has been a wee bit of pocket money here and there, but hey. Every little bit helps, and I'm grateful for it.) But I didn't tell my husband about this new project of mine right away. I mentioned it to one or two friends who already knew that I can read Tarot cards, but for months, I left my husband completely out of the loop on this topic. Then along came the bachelorette party that one of those friends helped book for me. (His cousin was looking for a card reader for the party she was throwing, he offered my contact information, and an agreement was made.) OK, now I *had* to tell my husband about the cards, since I wasn't going to lie to him about where I was going nor what I was doing on the night of that party. I wasn't surprised that he was unhappy about the idea that I read cards. But he understands the financial reasons why I began doing this, so if he wasn't supportive, he wasn't throwing a tantrum about it, either. So again, I just continued to leave the subject unmentioned in his presence, used the cards in private, etc. My take on it was to let him process the knowledge that I read Tarot in his own time, rather than shoving it down his throat. I suspected that he'd come to terms with it and at least end up neutral about the idea, *IF* I let him work through the concept on his own. Then came the fundraising dinner that an online friend of mine was throwing to raise money for charity. There were going to be several vendors there selling things to raise money. I offered to perform card readings to help raise money, too, and they agreed to have me do so. So now we were taking my card reading to another dimension, because my husband and I were both going to attend this fundraiser. It meant that I would now be reading cards in his presence for the first time. The fundraiser was a couple of weekends ago, and I think my decision to let him ponder my card-reading on his own paid off. He seemed mostly OK with it by then. He even took one of the business cards that I'd printed up for the occasion, with my website URL on it and the e-mail address that I use for all my tarot-related correspondence. I still am in a "I won't bring the topic up myself" frame of mind regarding him and Tarot, but I can see that there's been progress in his attitude over the past few months. I'm hoping that will continue. Anyway, my point in all this is that there might be some people in our lives who might start out as antagonistic to the idea of Tarot, who might come around in their own time as long as we're diplomatic about it. Evaluate each person individually, and consider whether there's a chance that some of them could learn, over time, to cope with the idea that their loved one uses Tarot. And if you do introduce that concept to them, remember that some people might respond best to receiving Tarot-related discussion only in small doses over time. Be patient with them and with yourself.

souljourney	01 Dec 2004
IslandDreamer and fairyhedgehog, I can really ralate to what you are both saying. I've been married less time, but in the whole time I've known my husband he doesn't like most Pagan ideas, with astrology and tarot being outright against the Bible, etc. Unfortunatly in the 9 or so years I've known him it was my period of "being Christian". So last year when I turned away from that and began my journey of being Pagan again he wasn't pleased. He even said no Tarot cards were allowed in his house. Um, good thing he works out of town. :D. And when he does come home my tarot cards, etc go to a friends house. In the last while I've done a ton of soulsearching...spiritual beliefs, sexuality, etc. I have come to realize I have to be ME...live my truth. And if someone can't accept (not just tolerate it) then maybe I need to rethink my association with them. AS far a people I can choose to be around goes. Even my work collegues are cool with my reading cards or anything "alternative". As far as the rest of my family. It is just my mom and dad. I grew up pretty much New Age/Pagan so they are totally fine. They were disappointed/in shock, etc when I decided to become Christian, but they knew I needed to do what made me happy at the time and accepting. Now that's a twist

huredriel	01 Dec 2004
I can really relate to what SJ is saying about having to be true to yourself. I've always wanted to learn the so-called "occult" stuff but my then long-term partner was totally against it (he was brought up with a strict catholic mother), even so far as I got grief for wanting to have a reading. So I never did. In the last year and a bit I've started to find out who I am, and that's when I had my first tarot reading. Last December. And I've been totally enthralled ever since. Even so, a lot of people aren't open-minded and although my tarot reader is VERY open about tarot, she does have the piss taken out of her. Good job she really doesn't care. So I kinda mentioned it to my family, friends etc that I was going to learn. And here's the funny thing. They were cool with that idea. They think I'm weird, not normal anyway, but now I have the cards, they're not sure at all. And half of them wont have a reading. As for family, wouldn't dare tell my sister. Asked for some black and white candles for Xmas and she made some negative comment about me being a witch and the like to my mother. My mother seemed cautious for me, but keen that I progress myself or so it seemed. I got a couple of books on the Craft, she was not impressed, so only about 4 people know about that and now I have my cards, she hasn't said anything yet i just KNOW from her tone of voice that she is not a happy bunny about it. So I think that its a real shame people cannot accept others for who they are. After all, nobody is perfect, everything has good and bad points and we take them with their beliefs. Why can't they do the same. And Ambermoon, as for being called a witch, well since starting to read up on the craft, well I would take that as a compliment, after all its a nature based religion which helps people and is non-judgemental. Also, look at the tv shows that are really popular right now. I love charmed. Fantastic. Oooohh to have powers like that :) LOL. Anyway, I'm gonna take my cards to my family house at christmas and persuade my mother to have a reading BUT they will be kept safely away from my sister.

Lurea	04 Dec 2004
I'm inspired by shelikes2read's story. Maybe I will try something like that... I actually have a great hubby, who although skeptical, is totally okay with my pagan tendencies and card reading. :) My kids accept it, but aren't really interested. My parents are very fundamentalist, though, and I've been afraid they would completely freak out if they knew. In fact, once as a trial balloon, I said that I thought there were many paths to God, and that anyone who was a good person, be they Buddhists, and Moslems, and Zen masters would go to Heaven. My mom flatly contradicted me, and said, "No, they are all going to Hell. I feel sorry for anyone who is misled into a false religion, because they will regret when they are burning." *sigh* Not much wiggle room there, huh? Anyway, it's a pain, because she is also my babysitter, and the nights before I work, I have to hide all my cards and books. I've been wondering if I could bring up the cards without flaunting the pagan tendencies, though. After all, the Bible mentions divination...

Fudugazi	04 Dec 2004
shelikes2read wrote: ... The fundraiser was a couple of weekends ago, and I think my decision to let him ponder my card-reading on his own paid off. He seemed mostly OK with it by then. He even took one of the business cards that I'd printed up for the occasion, with my website URL on it and the e-mail address that I use for all my tarot-related correspondence. I still am in a "I won't bring the topic up myself" frame of mind regarding him and Tarot, but I can see that there's been progress in his attitude over the past few months. I'm hoping that will continue. Anyway, my point in all this is that there might be some people in our lives who might start out as antagonistic to the idea of Tarot, who might come around in their own time as long as we're diplomatic about it. Evaluate each person individually, and consider whether there's a chance that some of them could learn, over time, to cope with the idea that their loved one uses Tarot. And if you do introduce that concept to them, remember that some people might respond best to receiving Tarot-related discussion only in small doses over time. Be patient with them and with yourself. What a wonderfully mature way of dealing with the question! In fact, with any marriage or family-related contentious issue. Have you ever thought of becoming a tarot-reading relationship counsellor?

Shalott	04 Dec 2004
I hid it from my mom for a long time. My dad is totally supportive, he's into astrology, numerology, etc, so that's all cool by him. But when I initially showed interest as a kid, her reaction was along the line of "It's evil." Well, now that I've decided to devote a lot of time/energy and money :embarrassed: which has coincided with having to live at home, and at the tender age of 29 I've decided that my mom has no say in my hobbies so I don't hide it. But I also try not to talk about it in her general direction, she just will never understand. Her reaction now is just, haughtily, "I don't believe in that." Sad that so many ppl in our lives who SHOULD be supportive refuseto be, even those who aren't coming from a fundamentalist attitude.

galadrielsphial	07 Dec 2004
I come from a Catholic family, not really super-duper religious, but religious enough to know that my relatives would probably react in a range from "that's stupid" to completely freaking out that I'm doing something evil and am heading down the winding road to hell. And that's just about tarot. If I also added that I'm a witch, well, I'd kill my grandma for sure, and maybe one of my aunts. And since my grandma is a very loving, warm, and accepting person in other areas of life, I wouldn't want to kill her. :) I'm not a person who likes to broadcast my beliefs anyway because I feel that they're personal and private to me. The only people that know are my best friend, who is also a witch so completely supportive of course ;), and my mom, who doesn't give me a hard time about it all but hopes it's just a phase and I'll grow out of it. Never mind that I'll be 24 freaking years old in two months, have been a pagan/witch for the past 4 years, and can count on one hand the number of times I've been to church when it wasn't for a wedding or a funeral. I figure sooner or later she'll figure it out...maybe by the time I'm 30. :)

Ulfdis	09 Dec 2004
I'm in a similar position. My partner and I are both Tarotholics, and we met in a coven. Her mom and sister are both very supportive of our faiths, psychic practices (Tarot, runes, the occasional ouija session, etc.), and most of all, our relationship. My parents are another story. I came out of the closet in 2001, and they've come to accept our relationship. They're not incredibly supportive, but they are not antagonistic, thank the gods. As far as my faith goes (I'm lumping Tarot in under that umbrella), I just don't have the chutzpah to open that can of worms. However, it's not like I'm scrambling to hide everything away every time they come to visit. We live in South Carolina, and Mom and Dad live in Montana (it's about a 2,500 mile drive). My folks have never visited us. I love my parents very much, but there's a lot of "space" in our relationship.

CloeCat	09 Dec 2004
I have been through what your all going through. I respected my faimlies rules and beliefs until I graduated high school. I had a keen interest in Earth spirituality, psychic, tarot, etc.But waited on buying my own books and things till then. My mom was scared of tarot do to church and family belief, but I had always known things about people(born Empath) and my mom had seen how much commer and happy I became after I really followed my heart about spiritualilty and tarot. Though she saw the benifits I was still not allowed to use or read in her home, so I study and read for others during my brakes at college and at my friends houses, in the park. Slowly my mom came to see it as a gift and when she need my help and I moved back with her and my brother things got better at less in this area. But then I had to start all over with my grandparents, who are J-witnessies. I whent to live with them and they would not allow the cards in their house and tried to convert me to be a christian, uuuhgg, now they knew I had different beliefs I was quite open and did not hide before I moved in but they....well think you get the picture. All i can say is if you a blacksheep like me who respects but does not allow others to dictate your life, hide if you most but know in the long run you must honor who you really are. I now am married to a man who supports and loves me just the way I am, his family accepts me as I am and I now have a long distent relationship with my family that is more comfertable for them. thats just the way it is. many prurrs, CloeCat

The Unsupportive Family? thread was originally posted on 15 Nov 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.