Psychologist's point of view on intuition

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 22 Dec 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Cat Eyes	22 Dec 2004
I was seeing a psychologist almost a year ago and she brought it to my attention that I have a tendency to make a lot of assumptions. She said that I need to ask people questions about their actions and what they meant instead of fixing a meaning to them myself. Since we are discussing intuition, I'm wondering where the lines between intuition, fantasy, and reality are drawn. I am in a situation now that requires a lot of hope. I have been friends with a guy for two years, close friends for a couple months, and now we might take our relationship to a physical/commited level. I have been to a healer who gave me a lot of inspiration and told me that my prospects look good. My mind still has a lot of doubts, and the situation is trying my patience and strength because it isn't 100% clear whether we'll be moving ahead. My intuition tells me to have faith and hold on to my love. My brain tells me to be skeptical. I don't want to push him.

Thirteen	23 Dec 2004
You've actually got two questions here. One is "what is intuition?" I think that yes, it is tied to assumptions, but tied to assumptions about human beings and human nature, what we know about ourselves that is also true of others. Those who are intuitive have, if you will, a heightened awareness of how people think, act, behave. In this regard, our assumptions may be more accurate than some. We may be able to reach a valid assessment on less evidence than might be needed by others. Intuition is a "guess" we make based on evidence and experience. Fantasy is something we make up, that we may not have any evidence of happening or being true, but we want it to be. We dream, "Maybe he'll take her to Paris, propose marriage, they'll elope..."--that's fantasy. And maybe it'll happen, but we're not basing it on anything solid, just a wish, a dream. Intuition says, "I'm not sure if they're going to stay together...." You base it on how the couple acts together, right? Your other question is about this guy. You have doubts because you're not 100% clear? You do know that you're never going to be 100% clear, not about anything, right? He could get on his knees and propose marriage to you tomorrow, get the certificate, send out the invitations...and still leave you at the altar at the last minute. Even if you think you've found someone who's 100%, you never know. One day they may have a near-death experience and tell you they're leaving you to be a beggar priest on the streets of India. Nothing is ever 100%. Not now, not ever. So stop using that doubt to waffle over this--and stop putting him through your indecision as well. The way to decide is simple: If he said to you, "We need to take that next step. Or you need to let me go." How would you feel? If you feel panic in your gut about him leaving you, about never seeing him again, then go for it. If you feel relief that he'd be out of your life and you'd be free, then tell him no...and let him go. It's not a matter of taking a chance on him, it's a matter of taking a chance on yourself, of trusting your feelings, and trusting that even if this doesn't work out, it will be worth whatever you get from it.

jmd	23 Dec 2004
I concur and support the suggestions Thirteen has made with regards to the specific personal situation Patricia Osinski brings... What follows is therefore not related so much to the situation, but more to the general question also posed, viz: [center]'where the lines between intuition, fantasy, and reality are drawn'[/center] One of the characteristics of intuition is that it has a similar quality to that of 'reality', whereas fantasy, by contrast, has a far more dreamy and often emotive-ladden aspect. To give an analogy, one with the realm of concepts, if one reflects on the qualities of '1 + 1 = 2', there is a state that is achieved in which something different to certainty is reached... something a little different to the 'inevitable'. These terms, respectively, have an aspect of detachment from the concept in question, and of time. Intuition, at its best, seems to transcend each of these - as also the 'being-at-one' with the '1 + 1 = 2' example. It is this at-one-ness with the situation at hand that a good reader who achieves that state for the specific reading can speak with the voice of the Muse, or Fortunæ. If one feels one's own personal emotions engaged in the reading, or wishful thinking seeking to direct the course of the narrative, then, in my personal view, it is not Intuition that is at work.

other	23 Dec 2004
Patricia Osinski wrote: I was seeing a psychologist almost a year ago and she brought it to my attention that I have a tendency to make a lot of assumptions. She said that I need to ask people questions about their actions and what they meant instead of fixing a meaning to them myself. Since we are discussing intuition, I'm wondering where the lines between intuition, fantasy, and reality are drawn. That's a tough one. Most psychologists and therapists will focus on this element of our personalities (I know mine did!) -- our tendency, in the face of the unknown, to create a reality in our mind that we think protects us. This is why, for a long time, I would immediately go right to the negative, erroneously thinking (subconsciously, that is) that I could protect myself from the "impending doom"! I've only recently started to grasp the simplicity of 'mind over matter,' positive thinking, and -- most important -- the act of NOT creating a pseudo-reality or scenario to displace the unknown. (The moon has come up in my personal readings in position #7 two times in the past two weeks -- which seems to be related to keeping my mind healthy, positive and at bay.) But this, to me, is a personal thing. The unknown is what it's really all about -- and becoming comfortable with the inevitability of the unknown. So how does a reader deal with this? I have absolutely no idea! But I do think that the more we learn about ourselves and understand ourselves, the more astute we can become at reading the cards on multiple levels. I bet your assumptions are a very personal thing that your psychologist might fear is harming or hampering you, but those assumptions might not be playing into your readings at all, since you are probably detached (and protected) from the querent's issues, fears and great unknowns. Whew...that was a little long-winded...sorry. :)

damfino	23 Dec 2004
I think the line is drawn at the point from making assumptions and using intuition, to the one where you realize that the image you have of someone else is just that, an image, not what they really are. I found this on a pretty Zen Koan: - Master, are you in your heart? - No. I am in my heart. The master is basically saying "I talk of my heart, but I have no idea what you are talking about. I know my heart, but I certainly know it's not the same heart you are speaking of". This is comfirmed by something I read on a Antonio Porchia poem "I know what I've given you, but I don't know what you've received". It's hard not to make assuptions about things, but I think it's necessary. Specially for us, aspiring to Tarot readers. It's like, our thoughts and ideas... they are ours, but they are not us. We must be careful when thinking things based on little information.

Alissa	23 Dec 2004
Thirteen wrote: ... "what is intuition?" I think that yes, it is tied to assumptions, but tied to assumptions about human beings and human nature, what we know about ourselves that is also true of others. Those who are intuitive have, if you will, a heightened awareness of how people think, act, behave. In this regard, our assumptions may be more accurate than some. We may be able to reach a valid assessment on less evidence than might be needed by others. This is very well said, in my opinion. And I think that's sound advice offered later as well. Nothing in life is 100% and our intuition can be difficult to follow when making decisions that impact our own emotions. I find this echoes in my reading, as I will often find others clearer to read for than reading for myself.

noby	23 Dec 2004
Wonderful thread, and wonderful ideas here. It is often difficult for me, and I suspect for many others, to discern between projecting and intuiting. Some psychologists can make a good argument that all "intuition" is merely projection, a desire not to feel helpless, a form of "magical thinking" not rooted in reality. I am a skeptic, and am wary of those who proclaim themselves psychics, seers, or enlightened. There's a lot of bullshit out there, and a lot of people who are doing nothing but getting off on their own ego trip. But my personal experience has shown me that intuition is real, that we are capable of sensing things and making connections based on less information than we usually think we need in order to do so. I figure that if humanity survives long enough, somewhere down the road, we'll scientifically understand at least some of the phenomena now labeled as 'magic' or 'psychic.' There are faculties we have which we have not properly identified yet, and as such, they are often dismissed as fancy by those who give undue precendence to the limits of what is already known. I think there is much we can do to work towards sorting our flashes of intuitive insight from our projections and unfounded assumptions. One easy thing to look at is the nature of the impression, and how much it has to do with the ego or what we want to see. If we get an "intuition" that things are going well, we need to ask ourselves, "How much is that really true, and how much do I just really want to believe that?" If we get an "intuition" of some really negative aspect of a person, we need to ask ourselves how much we're just looking to explain or vent to ourselves regarding some way they've hurt us. One other thing to be wary of is the temptation to "figure others out" and subsequently limit our perception of them into a small conceptual box. Regardless of whether the impressions we get are based on projection or intuition, I think it's good not to latch on to them and subsequently limit our experiences of the world to our self-definitions of it. Even if we rightly "intuit" that, say, Person X is acting out of deep insecurity stemming from something in their past, we should be careful that we don't turn them into a caricature, a person we define only by one aspect of who they are. Human beings and their inner lives are complex and mutable, and we lose much to try to define them. I think the bottom line is that we should make an effort to see what works. Has an impression we've received of someone given us information that has made our relationship with them function better in some way? Has an impression of our future given us a way to work better with the present? I think we should dance lightly with these impressions, intuitions, projections, and assumptions, noting them and experimenting with how we can put them to use without becoming too invested in our own personal storyline about everything. Any time we clamp down on our own explanation of something or someone, we limit our experience of it or them. But we become empowered when we learn to work with our impressions in a way that is informative but fluid. Thirteen wrote: You've actually got two questions here. One is "what is intuition?" I think that yes, it is tied to assumptions, but tied to assumptions about human beings and human nature, what we know about ourselves that is also true of others. Those who are intuitive have, if you will, a heightened awareness of how people think, act, behave. In this regard, our assumptions may be more accurate than some. We may be able to reach a valid assessment on less evidence than might be needed by others. Thank you for this very reasonable and lucid description of some of the mechanics of intuition. Such a description takes away the tendency to want to believe in one's own magical powers, which can be quite the ego trip. Instead, it's a matter of being able to make certain connections which we're all equipped to make if we simply learn how. Quote: Your other question is about this guy. You have doubts because you're not 100% clear? You do know that you're never going to be 100% clear, not about anything, right? He could get on his knees and propose marriage to you tomorrow, get the certificate, send out the invitations...and still leave you at the altar at the last minute. Even if you think you've found someone who's 100%, you never know. One day they may have a near-death experience and tell you they're leaving you to be a beggar priest on the streets of India. Nothing is ever 100%. Not now, not ever. Extremely well put -- thank you. A good reminder too that tarot or any form of divination can only tell us how things are going based on current conditions, and that any number of things can suddenly occur and shift things onto a different course. Such is the dynamic and chaotic play of the universe. So all we can do is go with what is best for us now, what works now, instead of pissing our time away in hopes of something that may or may not happen down the road.

Tarot Sparrow	23 Dec 2004
What an interesting thread! I agree with Thirteen's assertions as well. I consider myself intuitive but there is a difference between intuitiveness and making assumptions. Intuitive thinking is a thought (in my opinion) that follows both the head and the heart and is based on gut feelings along with personal experience and logical thought. Assuming relies on experience; meaning that people make assumptions about people based on their experience with others and the past actions of that person. One who assumes is just looking for an answer to a question that has none. One who is intuitive sees past the questions and answers and experience and looks for tangible solutions to problems. In other words, when you assume you rely on past experience; when you are intuitive, you rely on present and future opportunities.

WalesWoman	24 Dec 2004
The insights in this thread are so well thought and valid. If I quoted all the ones that struck me, this would be all quotes. I especially was struck with Noby's insight of thinking we know someone and then compartmentalising them, not really seeing them any more and limiting our perceptions and knowledge of that person. Intuition, especially with someone you are close to, sort of comes with the relationship as it develops, as you become more in tune with each other. Then there is the "gut" feeling you get when you first meet someone...I've learned from past expense, it is a good thing to trust. Trusting your heart, when you aren't sure if it's all wishful thinking and willing something to be, when you aren't sure if they feel the same or even are interested, wondering if you are "out of it" because deep down you "know" it is "meant to be" while everything else is telling you otherwise. When you wonder if infatuation is actually an unrealistic obsession, if you are in fact losing your mind. I can relate to the dilemma tho' of dealing with the unknown factors regarding whether a relationship is going to happen or not, if it is real or not, Quote: where the lines between intuition, fantasy, and reality are drawn. I have learned the hard way, with out the benifit of a psychologist or Tarot at the time, not to make any assumptions ever...the best way to find out is to talk about your feelings with this person, ask what they feel, which takes an incredible amount of courage because it could mean having your bubble burst, but it can also open up the door to something wonderful. In my case I had a year of dreams, later I discovered they were predictive ones...so I really thought I was losing it because I really did feel like he was my Fated One, someone I'd been looking for all of my life and then some. I think I was more afraid that I was losing it than I was of taking a risk of losing my heart, so I finally screwed up my courage and told him what he was doing to me. I figured that it was better to make a fool of myself than spend the rest of my life wondering "What if?", if I caved into my fears and did nothing. So I basically let him know I thought he was quite fascinating and left it up to him. Since there was nothing going on more than admiring each other from a distance, what was there to lose? I had lived this long without him, I could continue to live without him, if I had to. So maybe I willed this to happen, but it takes two to have that will for it to work. Luckily for me, it was completely mutual and we are going into our 6th year. It hasn't been all bliss, but it's actually become better than it was to begin with. I miss the butterflies and "falling in love" rushes, but this is so much nicer...he still gives me butterflies when I haven't seen him for a few weeks. How do you determine tho' what is intuition, fantasy or reality? I think deep down inside we do know the difference, it's how we act upon that knowledge that makes the difference between taking some sort of positive action or becoming a secret admirer or a stalker or become some sort of fanatic. #1 let that person know of your interest in some way, most people cannot read our minds #2 how do they react? #3 can you let go and just let things happen on their own time and in their own way? Can you take no for an answer and let it go at that, if they aren't willing? That is the clincher, you cannot will someone to love you no matter what you feel or want.

Seed Crystal	24 Dec 2004
Intuition is not supernatural. It's very natural. And it doesn't replace any other capability we appropriately use. Being intuitive does not mean you cannot or should not also be logical, observent, skeptical, imaginative... Maybe not all at once lol but applying more than one of those capabilities in every situation is, well, natural. Being intuitive does NOT replace communication. A relationship based on intuition is not a relationship; the life of it is lived in relating with each other. Being intuitive does not replace any of the work/play we do to create things, make things happen, or living in the world with the other people and things in it. When intuition gets in the way of one's logic, skepticism, observation, imagination, communication, work and play in life, I think one needs to ground and get a bit more rounded in one's self. :) Just some thoughts.

The Psychologist's point of view on intuition thread was originally posted on 22 Dec 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.