Can you find out what went wrong?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 06 Jan 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

KelarSkye	06 Jan 2005
If you have gotten readings, maybe a few, that say that something will happen in a certain way, and it completely does not happen, can you ask the tarot to tell you why? Can it be asked if it was something that I did not follow, or some anomaly someone else created? I have gotten readings that are on target, and readings in a certain situation start off seeming to be right, but end up being completely wrong. It would be useful to me to know if it is something I did not follow, or something the other person did that changed the reading. Basically, I want tarot to tell me why it has been reading so wrongly in this situation. I understand it is a mutable oracle, but without knowing what was changed to make the reading untrue, I simply just believe that tarot is a bunch of baloney. I have been away from my decks for a long time because if this, and basically I am at a point where I need to explore if I need to further my learning and understanding, or if I should give up on this whole area all together in my life, both reading for others and receiving readings. Do I make any sense? Kelar

HudsonGray	06 Jan 2005
Yes, you make sense. I feel tarot is about probabilities and possibilities, and that it doesn't change your future, you end up changing it by your own actions (or others do by their actions). I had someone ask about job situations for him & kept getting either an 'iffy' or 'no way'. And could see where the problem was. If I said 'yes' he'd slack off on his interviews or not look harder. That would take him out of the possibility of finding what he wanted. If I said 'no' he'd be so discouraged that he wouldn't look at all. Jobs hinge on contacting the right parties & getting through the interview the right way. Either answer would actually hinder him so I tried to get it side tracked into what he needed to focus on to help himself, like what was his major hurdle in the interview process. ANYTHING can shift something enough that it doesn't happen. The spreads are just a snapshot of what's going on right now, not an actual future forecast. The decks can also show you what you want most to hear, so there's that problem too. Is there a way to come around to the question in a spread from, say, a side issue & take it from there? I don't know what your question was but it may give more insight to approach it obliquely.

Greyling	06 Jan 2005
Hi, Kelar. Asking the tarot why you're receiving contradictory readings is a good idea. There are a few other things you might think about doing, too. As you have said, tarot is a mutable oracle. People also have free will. Do you keep a tarot journal, detailing the readings and results? If so, I would suggest going back and looking at this particular reading. (If you don't keep a journal, just try to remember.) Try to find the card or cards in the reading that gave the querent the opportunity to change his or her behavior. If something changed to make the reading untrue, it may have been the person. And it may have been something she saw in the reading--a warning, an insight--that made her change. That is only one possibility. The other possibility is that you are very frustrated with tarot right now, and this frustration is causing you to lose trust in your cards. In return, they may be reflecting a certain murkiness of mind, a lack of concentration. If a few baffling readings are quick to make you believe that the tarot is a bunch of baloney, then perhaps you need to step back--you may be looking at tarot as a crystal ball rather than shapes in the clouds.

Sophie-David	06 Jan 2005
Hello KelarSkye I have only a limited experience with Tarot, about four months, and you will probably get more complete answers from someone with more experience. But I am still in the stage where I am testing the cards - myself really - for reliability in assessing future potentials. Of course we know that the crowning and future cards are indications of what will be most likely if current trends continue, not absolutes. Changes in current behaviour or situations can alter these outcomes, as you mentioned. You probably have to accept that you will never know what may have changed in a certain number of cases. So far I have found my assessments using the cards to be very reliable, but if they were not, I would not hesitate to use the cards themselves to explore why - in fact that would be my first route. I have heard from more experienced readers that the following problems can affect readings: 1) Asking one question but thinking of or focusing on another 2) Asking too many questions at once (similar to the first point) 3) Asking when tired or lacking focus 4) Asking when too emotionally involved 5) Asking an inappropriate question 6) Using an inappropriate deck 7) Lacking self-confidence, second guessing yourself I admire your honest approach to this issue, and the sum knowledge and experience in the other posts will probably give you a more complete picture. Cheers David

KelarSkye	06 Jan 2005
These are not readings I have done for myself. I quit reading for myself a while ago as I felt that I was skewing my reading because of my personal feelings. These are readings done for me by others. Basically concerning a relationship between myself and a man. In the past (we have a long history) the readings were basically "things aren't working out now" or "things have a long up and down road" and at times "this is a good match, but will be hard." That ended and I quit asking. A few readings had said "he will be in and out of your life, but eventually he will know what he wants and you two will begin to build a relationship." Unexpectedly, this happened. So of course, realizing that tarot had been accurate, I asked (through others) what to know now, what I needed to do and know. I was told patience, slow, he is making a transition and coming to grips with what he wants in life, and each and every reading (unlike earlier) said that things would work out between us and we had a positive future. Long story short...that didn't happened, hasn't happened, and I really really don't think that will change. It is possible that 5 years down the road may be a different story, but it is doubtful as we won't be in the same area or in touch with each other for much longer. So basically, I want to ask the tarot, what went wrong? Not how I can fix it, but really, what happened? These were other people's readings. And my question for the tarot was only what do I need to know and how do I need to proceed with this relationship. Actually, I did two online readings (with tarot.com) but I don't put full faith in those, I only use them to make me think about things in a different light. Those told me patience as well, however.

Sophie-David	06 Jan 2005
Kelar I'm sorry, this sounds quite frustrating and painful to have gone through. I'm not sure whether this would be helpful for you or not, but perhaps try some readings for yourself on what went wrong. You could post them in the "Your Readings" forum if you felt comfortable doing so and other readers would be able to help you with them, so you wouldn't have to worry so much about your feelings skewing the readings. Or you could offer to do a reading exchange and get some helpful insights that way. It sounds like part of what you seek is not only some insight into the Tarot but some closure or resolution to the relationship. Anyway, I hope this was of some help, things don't always have an easy answer do they... David

HudsonGray	06 Jan 2005
I've had very good readings with the Ironwing's online site (free readings, scroll down to the bottom). http://www.mineralarts.com/artwork/IronwingTAROT.html The images are VERY different. Look at them before reading the info breakdown on the cards. See what you can find in it. I'd recommend the 3 card spread over the 9 because of the complexity of the cards, but it's up to you which of the three spreads to choose. Oh, and think your question before clicking on the reading - it takes you right into it without an in-between screen.

FaeryGodmother	07 Jan 2005
KelarSkye wrote: These are not readings I have done for myself. I quit reading for myself a while ago as I felt that I was skewing my reading because of my personal feelings. These are readings done for me by others. Basically concerning a relationship between myself and a man. In the past (we have a long history) the readings were basically "things aren't working out now" or "things have a long up and down road" and at times "this is a good match, but will be hard." That ended and I quit asking. A few readings had said "he will be in and out of your life, but eventually he will know what he wants and you two will begin to build a relationship." Unexpectedly, this happened. So of course, realizing that tarot had been accurate, I asked (through others) what to know now, what I needed to do and know. I was told patience, slow, he is making a transition and coming to grips with what he wants in life, and each and every reading (unlike earlier) said that things would work out between us and we had a positive future. Long story short...that didn't happened, hasn't happened, and I really really don't think that will change. It is possible that 5 years down the road may be a different story, but it is doubtful as we won't be in the same area or in touch with each other for much longer. So basically, I want to ask the tarot, what went wrong? Not how I can fix it, but really, what happened? These were other people's readings. And my question for the tarot was only what do I need to know and how do I need to proceed with this relationship. Actually, I did two online readings (with tarot.com) but I don't put full faith in those, I only use them to make me think about things in a different light. Those told me patience as well, however. I can totally empathise with you on this issue as I have had a very similar experience. I got readings from professional readers regarding a difficult relationship (which is thankfully long over and done with). The readings were never quite right and certainly not many predictions came true. I have put the experience down to two main reasons. 1/ This was an issue which stirred up all my 'energies'. I got to the point were I couldn't even have a normal conversation about this person without feeling all mixed up. I think my very strong and very mixed feelings about it made almost a haze around me. When I was told that things would work out for us I would stubbornly think 'well thats just stupid I don't want things to work out, he's not worth it' then my actions afterwards would make sure that it put a rift between us and we'd argue. When I was told that it was no good, we'd part ways, I'd feel sad and think about how much I loved him, then of course my actions were loving, forgiving (things I really should have spoken up about) etc. In short, like HudsonGray's example of the job seeker, what I was told affected my actions but in contrary and (at the time) completly unconcious ways. So one thing that could have gone wrong was that you SUBCONCIOUSLY acted in ways that would insure you wouldn't get the outcome. 2/ Secondly, I was pretty intimated by the professional readers. I didn't feel comfortable in telling them that I wasn't connecting with what they were saying. (One old gentleman comes particularly to mind :S) At the risk of getting myself ostracised from a tarot loving community- there are readers and then there are readers. Some people you can connect with. They will make sure that what they are saying is helpful to you and that it makes sense. Others will come across with a vibe that says their word is divine law and if you don't get what their saying then there must be something wrong with you. I always tell my friends if that happens to them to get up and walk out. When I read I do my best to adjust to the querent and make sure that what I am saying is something they connect with. It is my belief that a really good reader can't tell you something you don't already know at some level and that when you hear it something inside just feels RIGHT. I know that now, but I didn't then so I listened, shook my head when it didn't feel right, paid my money and was of course disappointed. So the second reason things may have gone wrong was that you simply weren't connecting to the readers. There are some people I just can't connect with, when that happens I give them their money back and recommend someone else for them to try. Just because a reader is highly recommended by others doesn't necessarily follow that they will be brilliant for you. Some people click and others don't. Its just a fact. The answer now for you is basically be patient. Right? So how long are you expected to be patient for? One year? Two years? Ten years? As (the rather annoying) saying goes "The reward of patience is patience" For that all I can recommend is good luck. I hope you don't give up on Tarot altogether due to this experience because it can be a very rewarding tool. Of all the things I have learnt in the past ten years probably the most important is this: learning to be detached to the outcome. No matter how much we look into the future we still just have to live each day as it comes. Anyway, I hope my long and probably boring ramble helps. FGM

Clau	07 Jan 2005
FaeryGodmother wrote: No matter how much we look into the future we still just have to live each day as it comes. *WOW* What a smack in the head for me! thank you very much Faery Godmother! Blessings, Clau

KelarSkye	07 Jan 2005
Thanks everyone for your words. I keep coming back and finding more. I am still trying to digest. Forgive me, but I am still skeptical and sitting here thinking that in my mind I kept saying with the questions "You know what I want, but I need to know what I need to know." I am not sure how to overcome that conflict. Your heart will always want what it wants. Acknowledging that it may not be the truth is all that you can do. I would think that the tarot should do the other work. Cutting to the heart of the matter. I took Hudson Grey's suggestion and did an Ironwing 3 card reading. I am not ready to pick up my decks to read for myself yet. I think I may post the ironwing reading in the Your Readings section. The cards are gorgeous but the interpretations on the site are a little obscure to apply. Again thank you. And any further insight on this topic would be appreciated. This is my major problem with tarot. For some reason readings always come out inconsistent or just wrong for me. Maybe at the time they are right, but in the end, they are wrong. Which tells me that I should be able to find out why and how, to try to change the situations rather than repeating them. is that not another tool for tarot? Bringing behaviors to light and rethinking approaches? The "future telling" aspect is the hyped one...but seems to be the less reliable one...although I do have to say I usually ask if something can work, and how I should approach it, rather than will this work only. I realize that it is about my approach and response and actions (and others). Anyway, I am rambling. Kelar

The Can you find out what went wrong? thread was originally posted on 06 Jan 2005 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.