Have a tarot ethics question

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 04 Jan 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

miss_apples	04 Jan 2005
I have an issue I want to ask my cards about but Im not sure it would be right to do so. My fiances best friend just told me that he was talking to my fiances brother and my fiances brother was complaining about things and he said that this Christmas was the worst Christmas he ever had. Now I remember him being all smiles on Christmas so I dont know what is up. Basically I want to ask the cards what is wrong with him because I have a feeling that it has to do with me. Would it be wrong for me to ask the cards that?

contradiction	04 Jan 2005
personally i don't see a problem with asking the cards about that. but i think it would be better to just ask him. if he was all smiles, it probably has nothing to do with you. if there even is a problem.

April	04 Jan 2005
I've often debated about this one and still don't have a definate answer. Plus I don't think everyone agrees so that doesn't help me figure it out. BUT - lightbulb- I just had a brilliant idea while I was thinking about it. Why not ask the Tarot how you can draw his true feelings out, or what might be the right way to approach the subject with him or something along those lines? Couldn't hurt. Peace, April P.S. If it turns out not to be a brilliant idea, I take no credit for it. :)

MeeWah	04 Jan 2005
Miss_Apples: The problem with second-hand information is that its essence or context can get lost. Unless one knows the person in question well or has reason or other evidence, feeling responsible for that person not always appropriate or necessary (such as a hostess concerned for her guests' comfort). Try asking "What do I need to know about this person in relation to me?"

HudsonGray	04 Jan 2005
If you can't get info directly from the source (the cause may be car related or maybe his girlfriend dumped him, not something associated with you at all) then I think I'd just do a small spread about 'what can I do to help him' or 'connect' to him. Trying to see it all via the cards just doesn't feel right, but helping him out or empathizing with him does.

DarkElectric	04 Jan 2005
Hiya :) Seriously, he may have been trying to put on the happy face for the relatives, because he may have felt bad about something else, and didn't want to bring anyone down. Sometimes people get really depressed around the holidays, I know I do, and it always gets better when they are over. He may have told the friend that he had a terrible time because he knew that wouldn't exactly disappoint that person, being sort of "once removed from the family" so to speak, and he could spill his feelings. Sometimes it's really hard, when other people have done a lot to make the holiday successful, people are having a good time, etc, and you are the one who just isn't feeling happy, no matter what you do. So, you try to smile, and not let those good folks know, because: A- You know they would be concerned, and maybe try to ask you what was wrong, and you didn't really want to talk about it , B- You don't want to be "The Bummer" when everyone else is having fun, or C- Any other reason you might have. I would agree with doing the reading about "What do I need to know about my relationship with my soon to be Brother in Law". That way it's about you, more than about him, and you aren't doing a reading for him without his permission. Things will come out, the cards just seem to work that way. So, that's what I'd do if it were me.

jmd	04 Jan 2005
To me it is less an ethical quesion than one in which the way the cards are likely to be read. There is, in my personal view, a clear sense that asking the cards for insight into a situation ('what is 'wrong'' - as mentioned by miss_apples in the opening post) is partly what Tarot may indeed give insight into. In this instance, however, miss_apples also says that 'I have a feeling that it has to do with me'. I suspect that in this case the clarity and open-ness to the reading at hand may be perhaps affected by that feeling. Depending on how one is to understand why this feeling, it may either skew or hide somewhat the reading itself. Of course, if the 'feeling' is rather a sensing into the situation, then the reading may give further insights as to what may be the cause. I would first, then, be clear and honest with myself as to why I may have this feeling.

miss_apples	05 Jan 2005
The reason why I thought it would be wrong in the first place is because of the whole, using tarot to find out other peoples business thing. However it could possibly (and probably) have something to do with me, so that kinda makes me involved too. I cant go directly to him, him and I have not had a good relationship. I end up being a scapegoat for all his problems so thats why I want to know, I want to know what he thinks I have done to ruin his life now.

MeeWah	05 Jan 2005
If the history of the relationship has been problematic, the concern is understandable; however, I advise against buying into the concept that one is wholly responsible for the relationship dynamics. Even if residing in the same household. That can lead to self-disempowerment & not help the situation, let alone the sense of self. Cannot your boyfriend be of assistance in providing insight? As for doing a reading--approaching it from a detached standpoint of what knowledge is needed where the self is concerned may offer insight & guidance.

miss_apples	05 Jan 2005
Thanks guys for the advice. I think Im just going to leave it alone and not ask. I mean if he does have a problem with me and doesnt come to me about it, then I guess I really shouldnt worry about it right now.

The Have a tarot ethics question thread was originally posted on 04 Jan 2005 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.