Readings work for everyone but yourself

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 22 Jan 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

bladeraven	22 Jan 2005
this maybe listed as the stupidest question...but does any readers experience good readings for everyone else while you're own life seems to be a contradiction?? LOL

dadsnook2000	22 Jan 2005
Yes, join the club. Dave

bladeraven	22 Jan 2005
ROFLMBBO..whew..thought it was just me...my life is a soap opera and the readings done for or by me doesn't make sense..yet everyone else fits with them..I'm going..okay..this just ain't right..lol

huredriel	22 Jan 2005
Yeah, well you know you can count me in on this one too!!! x Huredriel

bladeraven	22 Jan 2005
Feel like building a mini bonfire....lol...what's good to be a reader if one's own life contradicts the cards?? LOL

Gyda	22 Jan 2005
Mine usually work out, when I do a reading for myself or have it done by someone else, it's my Husband to be who's reading make little sense and who I can never do a proper reading for.

WhiteRaven	22 Jan 2005
I can pretty much count on any cards I pull for myself being the opposite of what they actually mean.

bladeraven	22 Jan 2005
lol..so I should start reading the opposite then?? LOL

Majecot	22 Jan 2005
I find that it isn't so mch a case of readings not working for self, as much as it is not being able to see the forest for the trees... and not giving heed to the advise they give. I am a frequent offender of that...lol

huredriel	22 Jan 2005
Yep, me too!

bladeraven	22 Jan 2005
good point...what if the attempt is to try and see the forest but the tree pops up....is it possible to get a chainsaw...ooo...got contacted by a doctor who is interested in me in a non-medical way...*crossing fingers* hoping to see him...

Majecot	22 Jan 2005
Sometimes, at least it is so for me. I have to be bludgeoned over the head, so to speak before I sit back and pay attention to what they are telling me. Flaw in my personality I guess. I find the reason that we I keep getting the same ole' reading over and over, is because I have not made any changes in my life/attitude... still following the same old path. Once I realize that, I can usually affect a change, and therefore a fresh message ;). *shrugs* Like I say... some times I need to be bludgeoned. Honesty with yourself is a difficult thing to do. doctor??? free medical....lol can't beat that!

Milamber	23 Jan 2005
Well, I can't be entirely certain yet, but I seem to be 2 for 2 on others, and about 50/50 for myself. So yeah, it kinda looks that way. ;)

Sinner	23 Jan 2005
Mine are usually quite random and I have to adimit that its harder to interpret my own readings than others. Even though you'd imagine otherwise since you're the one who knows your life best. Maybe its because I keep changing all the time. But usually, there are several recurring themes like a certain card that keeps coming up more often than the others or, more recently, two or more 4's in every spread. So I know its not completely random. Oh well, at least it makes for some interesting prectice.

Rosanne	23 Jan 2005
I have the most difficult time in framing a question for myself. When I get the question right I see the reading clearly. When I don't get the question right I see my reading in hindsight. A lot of those "so that what it meant' Moments. I have no idea how to change that. I don't have that when reading for others. I have read that some people don't read for themselves. I have always, I was my own Guinea Pig to start with. Maybe I am just bored with myself and the never ending Question of 'what will tommorrow bring?' I got very clear answers from two readings in a reading circle, but I find not having the person I'm reading for beside me, exhausting. Any suggestions?

Simone	23 Jan 2005
I almost never read for myself because most of the time, either I already know the answer or I don't really want to know ;) so I do not really see the sense in pulling cards for me... Rosanne, my personal experience of reading for people not physically present is that I enjoy it very much - I used to feel under pressure for live readings because I thought I'd have to come up with an answer quickly and online readings provided me with the time I needed (in the meantime I am comfortable with both). But if you feel exhausted, try to find out if you feel under any kind of pressure first, and why, and maybe get grounded before and after doing the reading :) Love Simone

Rosanne	23 Jan 2005
Thank you Simone. I guess I did feel under pressure in the reading circle. I am used to the instant feedback, and I guess I was worried that I would not be able to read properly. I have just realised that I was not trusting myself. Fear of being seen as a crappy reader? OOOw will have to work on false pride methinks..and work out a system that does'nt end up so labourious. I was doing the reading then writing it out freehand, then typing it out....

FlashFighter	23 Jan 2005
I noticed that when I read 10 years ago, that would always happen.... the opposite would come true for me..... Now that I am back reading.... well... we'll see.

Red Emma	23 Jan 2005
Mostly I read for myself, and do better than I do for others. Every morning, or most every mornings, I do a 3-card, Issue, Advice, Outcome for the day. The question is a generalized 'what's the day going to bring.' It's usually pretty accurate. Which is why I skip some days. Miserable stuff's going on, and I know it won't be over for a while. No reason to depress myself with more of that. I go get breakfast instead. It doesn't seem to pertain in the area of relationships. I'm in quite a good 58-year marriage, so I don't ask about the romantic part. But when I want to know the potential for friendship with this or that person, I can't seem to get a useful answer. Or the answer is more hopeful than it should be, leading me to make some blunders. Maybe I interpret the little paste boards more positively than I should. Wish I could figure it out.

Amethystll	23 Jan 2005
Same same same

ocho8s	23 Jan 2005
Very interesting thread!! I feel the same way too!! It is hard to make sense of the cards , and more so when I try to peek into my romantic relationships area .....lol is like my shadow is too dark right now and do not have the strenght to see past it. So I am writting everything in a journal hoping it would make more sense as time goes by, also I am a perfectionist and coming to terms to the fact that I am a very new person and there is a lot to learn , is hard for me :) Blessings Anaoly

tarotbear	23 Jan 2005
bladeraven wrote: this maybe listed as the stupidest question...but does any readers experience good readings for everyone else while you're own life seems to be a contradiction?? LOL Not exactly; I can read for myself but gave it up. We all learn tarot by reading for the closest subject -- and that inevitably is us. There is nothing wrong with that. However, being so close to the subject matter gives you too much inside information, too. You may overread into your own reading, or give yourself the most pleasant reading possible by chosing to selectively or unconsciously ignore factors you like or dislike. Objectivity goes out the window! My suggestion is to do what I did (sounds easier than it is) and find someone who can give you an objective reading from time to time, especialy for BIG questions; that way you do not taint your own results. In the meantime, don't stop reading for others.

tarotbear	23 Jan 2005
Simone wrote: I almost never read for myself because most of the time, either I already know the answer or I don't really want to know ;) so I do not really see the sense in pulling cards for me... I have found for self-readings to stick to short-term but pertainent questions, and not try to do a daily reading that encompasses the rest of my known life. Things need time to percolate through the universe, and we get myopic dealing with ourselves. My daily short-term reading is usually similar to this: "Give me some insights into my day today"; it is usually a three-card reading with #1 being the beginning of the day, #2 being the peak of the day, and #3 being the close of the day. #1 and 3 are the base and #2 is the peak of a triangle. What developed for me over time was that #1 seemed to be what I could expect before I went to work (I work swing shift from 3;30 p.m. to midnight), #2 was what to expect when I got to work (I work for the banks of the second largest casino on the face of the earth), and #3 told me how my day would end, but it was not always strictly the end of my work day, but the day itself. I did this even on days I do not work; it helps explain what happens in those hours. It works for me!

AmyV	26 Jan 2005
I think the major (no pun intended I swear!) bonus of reading for oneself is that certain cards take on connections to certain situations in your life, and these cards then act as links between readings, allowing you to discover connections in your own life and to follow your own progress through whatever issue it may be - this has been invaluable for me over these last six emotionally turbulent months. Also, when you read for yourself you're not on the spot, the pressure to give definite answers is not there in the same way, particularly if it's just a general reading to see where you're at. This means you have more time to ponder on the meanings of the cards even after the reading is done, and I find that though my interpretation may not be wrong as such, the meaning often expands as time goes by and situations unfold a little. I'm definitely guilty of the occasional unnecessarily optimistic interpretation of my own cards though, (who isn't!?), but generally speaking I think it's great to read for yourself. But then, I am a Gemini and I do always think I'm right...... and I have no one to do readings for me other than myself and a limited amount of other people to read for so I guess that helps too!

bladeraven	28 Jan 2005
I think another danger of reading for oneself is the moods we're in...if we're in a world is out to get you mood..it's so easy to twist the readings around.

Umbrae	28 Jan 2005
I've said that I am unable to read for myself. Truth is, I can. Rather well. Too well. And I usually don't want to hear the answers...

bladeraven	28 Jan 2005
you're probrably more focus and in tune...me...I feel like everything I read..the opposite happens...lol

firemaiden	30 Jan 2005
I can't read for myself the same way I read for others, but I like to have conversations with the cards. I ask questions as if talking to a person, or even just make statements and then see how the cards react. It helps me think things through, sometimes I come up with helpful advice, sometimes I just get mad, "these are just random cards!" and push them away.

noby	30 Jan 2005
I think successful self-readings depend upon a number of factors. First, I always keep in mind the multiple meanings of the cards and the multiple levels of meaning. While I think the cards have multiple and subtle levels of meaning, I can divide them (as I use them) into two main categories: esoteric and exoteric. (I am aware of how arbitrary these categories are, and that one interpretation could be seen as falling under either or both, but I simply use them for the sake of exegesis.) I could see the Emperor as implying giving form and order to present elements, as a shaping and directing force and / or a representation of potency and aggression. I could see it as implying father issues, male sexuality, or a run-in with authority. It could mean anything from the need to set firm boundaries for myself to an upcoming need to talk to a member of the administration of my college. Or take the Three of Swords: I could see it as implying a deepening of maturity through the transmutation of painful experiences into deep feeling for life, the deepening of one's character through the wisdom of experience (esoteric) or I could see it as suggesting upcoming trouble or painful experiences (exoteric). The pliability of the cards allows me to draw multiple meanings from a single spread. Having a variety of possible meanings at my disposal means I can be alert for which meaning comes up in my daily experience. And I also tend to focus on the relationships between cards more than the individual cards. What picture is made through the interrelationships between cards? Sometimes, one or two cards may seem totally inaccurate, until they are viewed in greater context and what they say in relationship (i.e. reading spaces between cards). I find that this approach lends much more insight that trying to look at the cards on a one-by-one basis. Another consideration is the function and purpose of the self-reading. If the purpose of one's self-reading were to simply get a sense of what may or may not happen in the following days, I do think it would be hard to give an accurate reading. However, if one uses a self-reading as a form of exploration of present energies and where those present energies may possibly lead, a jumping-off point for exploring one's subconscious, I think it becomes much easier to look at and interpret the spread. And with this in mind, one's desires are not a barrier, but a doorway: it is through pinpointing what one wants and what one wants to see that one can learn what one's filters and distorting lenses are which may be preventing one from taking full advantage of one's present situation. To me, seeing what is forming my present state of mind is as important as anything else I could see in the spread. I like firemaiden's way of putting it: conversations or dialogues with the cards. I also think of a useful way of reading as being like a dance: instead of following a lock-step form of interpretation, one uses the pliability of the cards' multiple meanings and the different angles of looking at the question or situation to gracefully dance with the cards, holding them lightly and working together with them. I find self-readings successful because I don't enter into them expecting specific, concrete answers. Rather, I see the spread as some lightly drawn arrows, mapping out currents and pointing out elements to which I did not previously give my attention.

HANDMAIDEN MI	30 Jan 2005
Hello everyone, I began the study of Tarot because I wanted information, information that was in the Unknown. My life was a psychological mess, and I kept making assumptions about people that just proved me wrong over and over again. I was frustratred with myself that my "gut instincts" were dwarfed or even useless in making right decisions... for myself or in regards to other people. So I developed a life style for Tarot that was entirely reading for the self. It was the idea that, this is what I think is going on, but what is REALLY going on? I did one thing which helped me because so many readings were confusing and just led to other questions. I was led to develop the question with a very specific clarity, I continued the "conversation" with Tarot with one spread leading to another spread and I wrote it all down with all my confusions to the answers detailed. I guess Ihad to puzzle it out, learn the language. The problem Ihave with the self readings (which I study Tarot for enlightenment) is that it is difficult to be objective, especially when there is a desire for a certain outcome. Getting a not going to happen nod is well, a bummer, and getting the Devil card in outcome always throws me for a loop! Shatters our illusions about what we can control, or not. But it is part of undoing ourselves and the spiritual journey... raising the level of consciousness and developing psychic intuition. You know, I lost a ton of money in the stock market one year... the decision to putit in the market in the first place was justified by the readings I did on it. This is one of those readings I SHOULD have had someone else do for me! The cards, as I look back on them now... TOLD me... the truth on it, (arrghhhhhh) but I intrepreted them the way I NEEDED, and WANTED them to say... the big fault of ego and emotion! Trust me, I almost completely gave up on the attempt to "divine" anything ever again! That mistake cost me thousands and thousands of dollars and yes, I was the FOOL! But, I grew and learned that all this depends on the question we form to answer the mystery of the future, when we observe the future we change it by that observation.. the uncertain principle. Reading for others will always be easier... we are clearer vessels for intuition.. BUT, I still want and need information from the cosmos about my own life so I struggle on trying to decifer accurately those self readings. It has helped to keep records and study the past cards. Patterns are manifested, unclear becomes clear with the movement of time. Ms. Ae

karafarrahbobera	01 Feb 2005
Majecot wrote: I find that it isn't so mch a case of readings not working for self, as much as it is not being able to see the forest for the trees... and not giving heed to the advise they give. I am a frequent offender of that...lol you are so, so, very right, Majecot! i know myself too well to read effectively for me, and get overwhelmed in overanalysis. on the other hand, i've done some of my most moving readings for strangers. isn't that odd? if i read for friends or family, it feels as though i know them too well to do this without 'cheating.' it's so much more telling to let the cards talk, than to try to analyze the meanings of the spread based on personal knowledge and experience. it's helpful to me to regard the tarot as tools to gain self-awareness. i like to study the cards themselves when i need an answer, rather than going through a whole spread. meditating on the symbolism of each card as it turns, and applying it to your own situation, CAN help you gain clarity--as long as you're honest with yourself. it's fantastic to introduce them this way to people who've never experienced the tarot before. sometimes people who've never thought of tarot in this sense discover a powerful tool to help them find their way! hope and light, -karafarrah

mnemosyne7	01 Feb 2005
Try taking your"self" out of the reading. Remove your desires for any specific outcome, message, etc., by literally moving yourself during the reading - across the table, as many times as it takes to get through the reading. Set up a table and two chairs for the reading. You are the reader meeting a person you have NEVER met before (because most of us read just fine for someone we don't know). Invite this new person into the room and ask him/her to shuffle the cards, letting them know your ethical standards and what to expect from the reading. Move to the client side of the table and shuffle the cards as yourself, telling the reader your question(s). Now, move back to the reader side of the table, and forget EVERYTHING you know about the person who just walked into the room. Proceed with the reading as though you have no stake in the outcome whatsoever. You are doing a reading for a complete stranger. Tape the reading, or write it down. If you wish, you can carry on a conversation between you the client and you the reader for as long as you wish ... or at least until someone comes in with a nice white jacket for you to wear. Sounds completely crazy, but the technique works quite well, giving you a chance to step outside of your own skin and focus on what the cards say, and not what you want them to say. That's a technique that worked well for me ... perhaps something different will work for you. Mnemosyne

bladeraven	05 Feb 2005
That's a really interesting technique to try out...I wonder too if maybe limiting the type of spreads use could help do better readings for oneself?

The Readings work for everyone but yourself thread was originally posted on 22 Jan 2005 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.