When not to do a reading...

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 05 Jan 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

RufusJ	05 Jan 2005
Are there times or situations when you would recommend not doing a reading, either for yourself or for someone else? Has that ever happened to you? If so, what did you do? Thanks muchly for any responses!

contradiction	05 Jan 2005
this may sound a little silly, or rude, but if you pick up the cards, and just have a feeling that it is not the time. put them down. i can think of several situations that i probably would feel uncomfortable, but you could go on for days nameing specific situations, so my rule is if i feel uncormfortable at that moment i don't. best advice i can think of.

RufusJ	05 Jan 2005
Ah, contradiction, not silly or rude at all. Very practical in fact. I guess I was thinking in more mundane ways. With me I always get a "warning bell" when I use the cards but I figure it's my training and try to ignore it. Thanks.

Fudugazi	05 Jan 2005
Like contradiction, I get a funny feeling when not to use the cards. Not warning bells exactly - this is going to sound even sillier than contradiction thought he sounded (but didn't) - more like the cards telling me - "no, not now". I can even feel it in my hands when I shuffle (should I choose to ignore a first signal). Something not right, a kind of sluggishness, no connection between my skin and the cards. I also have a rule never to read for myself or anyone else when I am either dog tired or emotional. I'll have a bath, take time out, detach and then read.

inanna_tarot	05 Jan 2005
Like Helvetica the cards just dont connect with my hands very well. I feel like I'm fumbling rather than shuffling. Also, its so tempting to do a reading when your emotional and seeking certain answers. You just have to be aware of what you are asking, what if that card won't give you the answer you are looking for, how many follow up readings are you going to do based on the same question. Its sad, but you just know. I find what difficult is finding a way of saying to someone asking for a reading that you are just not in the mood, that the cards feel wrong in your hands, that its not the right time. If you force yourself to read, I find those are the worst readings. Sezo x

dadsnook2000	05 Jan 2005
Last summer an elderly neighbor at our Cape Cod seashore village visited ProvinceTown at the end of the cape. That is a typical seashore tourist trap area with lots of small shops and restaurants. She had a tarot reading -- done by someone who had no clue about tarot and who could tell her only that she owed $20 in cash. She was mad. When she came back from her visit she asked me to do a tarot reading for her so she wouldn't feel that she had lost her money. I declined to do a reading -- she was too mad to listen well to anything and I was insulted. A week late I did do a reading for her. She wouldn't tell me what her question was but the spread told the whole story and she received a good and helpful reading. Dave.

RufusJ	05 Jan 2005
I guess I'm not familiar enough with the cards to recognize the warning bell feeling. Or differentiate a warning hum from a clang. (Gee, sounds like Gerald McBoing-Boing....) dadsnook, would you say then that a lot of emotional turbulence affects the reader or the cards themselves? I ask because I pick up on emotions really easy, esp if they're turbulent and usually I become nervous and withdrawn. (It makes going to the mall a real challenge.)

Corso	05 Jan 2005
I don't read(for myself or anyone) when I'm over worked, stressed or emotionally exhausted. There's no connection, at this point, between you and the cards and the that connection can make all teh difference, in my opinion.

Flavio	05 Jan 2005
I refuse to read if I feel I'm going to be used or forced to read, I'll explain a couple of examples, I was invited for a "cofee afternoon" with some acquaintances, soon I discovered I was expected to do free readings just for entertainment! I refused to do it because I wasn't kindly asked to read. Another moment when I stop a reading is when the Querent is asking things that go beyond my Code of Ethics or they are only trying to test how accurate I can be without actually paying attention to those insights arisen from the reading.

dadsnook2000	05 Jan 2005
The reading that I talked about was the only time I have ever been affected by another person's feelings. She was so angry that I could feel it from 50 feet away. I felt pressured by that anger and I wanted no part of it, not because I couldn't do a reading, but because I felt I was being used without any concern for my ethics and feelings. I have never been one that required good vibes, incense, the right conditions or any empathy with the querent. To me, tarot is like astrology. I know what I know, I have total confidence and faith in my skills. I can read anywhere, anytime, under any conditions for anyone. No problem. No variation. It just happens. I don't consider myself intuitive. I carefully construct my question, I choose or make the spread that serves the question, and then I just read. Now, as I do a first pass read of the cards and synthesize the position, card and question, I may then gain "insights" that go beyond a basic reading of the card in front of me. But, I go through the initial process before I let the full scope of images in. Dave.

bladeraven	05 Jan 2005
For me it's... 1. Sick 2.Upset 3. At work...LOL

RufusJ	05 Jan 2005
Heh heh heh... good one, Bladeraven.

RufusJ	05 Jan 2005
Thanks Dave. Having never read for someone outside of a tongue in cheek situation (a carnival at my high school when I was a senior) I don't know how someone else's emotions would affect a reading. But yeah, I can see where that would make you not want to read for someone. Flavio: It'd be hard to read in a situation where you know your gift would be dishonored. Corso: Gotcha.

eastarot	05 Jan 2005
This is a very good thread, very informative:) Here are my views, pardon my cryptic mood. These are a few of the times I've not read 1. When someone wants to know about their death. Last year a very wealthy lady came to me with this question, I didnt even know she was the widow of a very big industrialist in India, her first question was about when she would die. I actually felt a chill go up my spine cos I knew it would be in a few months, but I point blank refused to tell her. She even offered me extra money! Death is something which I believe is not something to be divulged, as it's in God's hands not in the hands of mere mortals. Incidentally she did die a few months after the reading and made headlines with a huge family war over her will (which still rages in the country) 2. When someone goes on pestering me about whats happening to their ex boyfriend, or wants a peek into someone elses marriage. I refuse point blank, not my business, not theirs. 3. When I meet reading addicts - the type who have been to palmists, numerolgoists, face readers, astrologers with the same question and they come hoping to hear what they want to hear. Usually the question is "will I reunite with my girlfriend etc?" I read the cards once, and when they protest, or pressure me for another look at the same question, I refuse. Such people drain me and frankly, are wasting their money going from pillar to post. 4. That funny indescribable feeling inside which says "no" whether its reading for myself or someone else. I can empathise with all who've mentioned this, sometimes the cards just refuse to read, and I trust it is for the higher good not to know the answer then. eastarot

Corso	06 Jan 2005
I was approached once by a good friend, the sad thing was, he was an enegry vampire, so it was impossible for me to give him a possitive reading. *sigh* (Not sure if anyone else knows what an engery vampire is...)

RufusJ	06 Jan 2005
Oh yeah, oh yes, oh my, I do indeed know what an energy vampire is. Yep. I understand completely. I've attracted a few in my lifetime and had one as a close relative.

huredriel	06 Jan 2005
Cmon please tell me what an energy vampire is? Something to do with draining all your energy? They always make you feel tired and there is always something bad going on in their lives?

mzoltarp	06 Jan 2005
A friend of mine is heading for a divorce from her husband who is cheating wildly on her. They are still in the same house and the situation is caustic. I would decline reading for her because she is in the "he's a bad guy" mode which means a lot of negative energy. She would expect a win/lose reading. She wins; he loses. If the querent has an agenda for the reading to take, I fold up shop. A question is one thing but an agenda is quite another.

Flavio	06 Jan 2005
Corso wrote: I was approached once by a good friend, the sad thing was, he was an enegry vampire, so it was impossible for me to give him a possitive reading. *sigh* (Not sure if anyone else knows what an engery vampire is...) There are persons who are energy vampires all the time they come close to you, I've also seen people becoming "temporary energy vampires" when they are passing through a grief or a big loss, they just came close to me and I felt tired and sleepy even if time before such thing didn't happened, after a while their vampire status changed and the things went back to normal.

Fudugazi	06 Jan 2005
mzoltarp wrote: A question is one thing but an agenda is quite another. But don't most querents have an agenda of sorts? If a person comes to you and asks - will I reunite with my boy/girlfriend?, will I get promoted ?- aren't they hoping it therefore have an agenda? She's angry, sure, but probably devastated as well. Maybe you can catch her on a calm day ;)

Fudugazi	06 Jan 2005
Flavio wrote: There are persons who are energy vampires all the time they come close to you, I've also seen people becoming "temporary energy vampires" when they are passing through a grief or a big loss, they just came close to me and I felt tired and sleepy even if time before such thing didn't happened, after a while their vampire status changed and the things went back to normal. I both cases you can learn to shield yourself. With the second case particularly, the person might need a lot of support and is not unreasonable in hoping for it. But of course you have to protect yourself from vampirism - so you raise a shield between you and the person that will still allow you to stay open, but not be sucked dry. In the first case, my view is that even if you do shield yourself, the person will try at all cost to break the shield, because they thrive on your energy and want it; also the energy deployed in shielding yourself is simply not worth the hassle for such people. But you might not always be able to avoid them, so a shield is useful. A shield, mind, not a lock and key! And in any case, after any session with any kind of vampires, you must center and return to yourself - take a bath (baths feature hugely in my grounding rituals!), a walk, listen to music you love, etc.

sirona86	07 Jan 2005
i do not do readings when i am feeling highly stressed due to exams and the like. i find that when i have too many things on my mind, or unable to relax and concentrate, my intuition becomes impaired and i cant read insightfully.

FaeryGodmother	07 Jan 2005
I suppose it goes without saying that one shouldn't do readings when intoxicated or the querent is. I totally agree with all the other points made especially about 'reading addicts'. The funniest thing about this is that I was thinking of this very subject this morning, and lo! here it is :). FGM

Fudugazi	07 Jan 2005
FaeryGodmother wrote: I suppose it goes without saying that one shouldn't do readings when intoxicated or the querent is. I once did a reading (I posted about it in another thread), on New Year's Eve - I was dressed up as a gipsy reader, with a fake accent and rather tipsy, as was my querent (a person I didn't know very well). It ws just supposed to be fun. It turned out to be a very accurate reading, and she came to tell me a couple of days later that I had really understood her problem and helped her. So while I wouldn't normally do it, in this case it turned out very well.

Ulfdis	10 Jan 2005
One of my friends/former coven-mate had a really good mnemonic device: HALT. Don't do magic(k)/rituals/spellwork/psychic work when you are Hungry Angry Lonely Tired As for "reading addicts", I had a friend like that. She was the same way with doctors, too. She'd get second and third opinions and so on until their diagnosis agreed with hers. She's a nice gal, but she had some issues...

The When not to do a reading... thread was originally posted on 05 Jan 2005 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.