Honesty is the Best Policy

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 13 Feb 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

contrascarpe	13 Feb 2005
Yes it is ....... really. OK, here is where I am coming from. I have been reading semi-professionally for a few months now. Many of my readings are "fluff", I know that. You can almost tell the agenda of a Seeker when they come in - at least I am learning that skill (I hope). A couple of times over the course of my tenure, I kicked myself for not saying what I saw .... I either doubted myself (letting so-called "common sense" influence my readings) or was too scared to let it all out. When feedback came and substantiated what I saw (but didn't say), I felt like a phoney. Last week I read for an attractive, classy lady. The reading went well - nothing extraordinary, but pretty basic. As we were wrapping up, I piped in with my common question, "are you sure there is nothing else you want to know?". She acknowledged she had another question and asked me how much info I needed .... should she be general, or specific. I responded by telling her that I wanted no info, only to see if I could find out what was on her mind. I drew three cards and it was obvious to me - she was tempted by an affair. So, what to do? Do I bring it up or let it slide? For some reason I threw caution to the wind and, apologetically, told her what I saw. She immediately told me I was correct and the response I received from her was a combination of awe and relief. She immediately felt comfortable getting it off her chest (I also saw that she hadn't given in to the temptation, yet). I am hoping this made me learn my lesson and that in the future I won't be afraid to say what I see, but I guess it will come to me on an individual basis ..... when you read you can almost FEEL how much info the seeker can handle. In this case, it was satisfying to not only be correct in my feelings, but also to have the guts to be honest. Anybody else have a similar experience? Dan

Simone	14 Feb 2005
I do not read for many people in person (yet ;) ), but I guess there are several different cases: I have one friend who wants me to read the cards for her, and she is also a reader. As I stated somewhere on another thread, she comes in with her own interpretations of the cards as soon as I name the cards (if we are on the phone) so that I do not do that any more but give her my interpretation. Lately I have realised that even then, she has a way of interpreting what I say and afterwards putting words in my mouth I never said... ooops, I just realise I start to rant off subject so back to our thing: there have been things I have NOT told her because I know she'd get fixed on them or on her misunderstood version of them... she's a nightmare to read for ;) Having said this, another reason I did not tell her all I saw was because outcomes looked rather glum, and she has enough problems in the present without worrying about the future. I am trying to help her in other, constructive ways, though. On the other side, I have made a few very positive experiences by telling all I saw, and it is so very much more rewarding; thing is, with those I felt that they could handle it in a more healthy way. One was a few years ago at the office; two girls asked me for a reading, and the reading for one was pretty basic, nothing unusual coming up. Then I read for the other one who was asking about her problems with her husband, and I saw pretty clearly that she had been dabbling with an affair :) I did not want to reveal this to the other girl still present though, so I asked her: "so you've been wanting to confirm your femininity?", winking at her. She looked at me, grinned and nodded, and the other girl had not understood it, but she had! :D After that, we had a private moment and I explained to her more fully what I had seen and that I had not wanted to tell this in the presence of others, and indeed she confirmed that I was correct and she was grateful for my discretion and diplomacy ;) Another one was also an ex-office colleague, she came to my house recently, and I told her everything I saw. She was amazed and I got feedback from the office in the meantime that she was telling people about the reading and how impressed she was with it.... So, I think that if you are honest, as you put it, you advertise mor for your reading qualities than if you hold back. I say this, but I also caution a bit - like for the case of that friend where I have experienced the way she reacted to other readings in the past, I would not want her to obsess in the same way over mine. There I just feel it is not right to tell if I cannot be constructive about it... maybe it is just not right to read for her at all :) Love Simone

seapearls	14 Feb 2005
I just wanted to say that it does sound like you learned alot from your experience and you saw that you were able to help the woman feel relieved. You did the right thing, you mentioned about feeling what the seeker can handle..... It could also be bad if you told someone that and they denied it when you know they just didn't want you to find THAT out about them.

caridwen	14 Feb 2005
What I sometimes do which may help you Dan, is I ask the querent to write down their question. I then ask them to take their time shuffling and keep their question in mind. After they shuffle and cut I lay out a Celtic Cross. I can usually read the nature of the question from the first two cards - glancing at the other cards obviously builds up a story and the general dynamic. I give my reading without knowing the question and in that way, if something more important to the querent is needing to be said, I feel free to tell it. In this way you can avoid the 'fluff' and give a meaningful reading. A Celtic Cross, I find, is good for either a specific question or general reading. Also, if something 'bad' or negative is coming across in the cards I find that if you word it in a certain way, it can be helpful and affirming. The other cards usually give guidance or other aspects that can help the querent. If I didn't want to actually say, well you're having an affair aren't you? I may phrase it in a more general way that would be meaningful but without saying exactly what it was;) I can relate to what Simone is saying as well because I caught myself doing the exact same thing when someone did a reading for me. It was a good learning experience in graciousness and I later apologised to the reader. I didn't mean to say that the reading wasn't relevant or good, I just got a bit carried away with the implications.lol I won't do it again:)

Kara	16 Feb 2005
This could be a really interesting thread, but I guess I'm not the only one who held back a little.. So this thread-killing little chatterbox;) will just post a link to an article, which explains and articulates better than I could, what I feel about this. Or rather, a part of what I feel about this topic, because the rest I'm honestly not sure how to put down, so that it's not misunderstood and fits in here, so I'll leave it. Thanks for starting a great thread, contrascarpe. http://www.seekerscircle.com/Articles/k-avoiding_certain_topics.htm much love, Kara

The Honesty is the Best Policy thread was originally posted on 13 Feb 2005 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.