reading for others and asking permission

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 28 Feb 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Free Flight	28 Feb 2005
Hi All, Is it ethical to do readings for others (ie friends and family members) without their consent? My example: i have 2 close friends who are going through a hard time - well they have been for a long time. They are depressed and often suicidal and their progress in recovering their positivity is slow and frustrating for their loved ones. Is it ethical to do general spreads on them from time to time to try and ascertain their mindset? Or how things will progress? I guess this opens up a conundrum in my mind. Is it really ethical to do spreads on anyone without their expressed consent. And while I am on the subject, is there a card or combination of cards that could indicate potential suicidal thoughts and the possibility of following through? I would think tower or 10 swords could mean someone is feeling those thoughts, but has anyone come across this before. thanks Free Flight

tarotlova	28 Feb 2005
You know when you are that concerned about loved one's, ethics in my book doesn't come into it, after all you just want to get a feel of what their feeling like, and then you might like to ask the cards how you can help them deal with their deppression. As for the second part of your question 3,4,6, 8, 9, 10 swords, Judgement The Tower, The Devil, and the Blank card (if your deck has one)The Wheel of Fortune all of these can indicate death but you need at the very least 4 of these cards to show up, as for committing suicide the cards will only point to the way things are at the time of the reading nothing is set in concrete as we can all change the outlook so to speak from one who has been there you feel like ending it all one day and then the next day you feel fine so I don't think you will ever find this out from the cards it's to up & down a subject sorry, I know it's hard, are they on medication at all? If they are and it's still not working tell them to try another and mabey go with them to the doctor to tell them it's not working , as some doctors don't belive you that it doesn't work because the write up is so good on these tablets it they won't belive it, it happened to me until I moved interstate and spoke to another doctor and finaly got put on the right ones. I wish you and your friends all the best on this hard path that you are walking on at this moment.

Fudugazi	28 Feb 2005
The World, which shows a completion, and often a chosen one, can show suicide - though not necessarily "suicidal thoughts".

contradiction	28 Feb 2005
why not check out this thread; http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=34704&highlight=reading+permission as for as which cards, i do not usually use set cards to mean anything, just what they tell me in the specific reading, but that is just me, anyway the obvious DEATH card. i know this usually refers to a change a transformation, or whatever you want to call it but, i have had this card come up to mean death. the 10 of swords would be my second guess. the devil, and the hanged man are also cards that could be taken literaly. best of luck with your friends.

Eco74	28 Feb 2005
When it comes to honest concern about friends and loved ones, readings with the intent "is there something I can do to help" or "what should I keep in mind when around X" is fully acceptable in my book. One thing you might want to look out for is that you may be a little to emotionally involved to see clearly what the reading is trying to tell you, so make sure any readings you do are done when you are calm and at ease to reduce the risk of "brimstone-fear-interpretations" where you are too afraid for your friends to be able to interpret anything but your fears or hopes. ~ All my best wishes ~

rainwolf	28 Feb 2005
I think that if you use the knowledge you gain for good, or not let it change your actions if it is bad, then its ok to ask. If you find out something you didnt want to hear, its your fault and its your responsibility to live with it and not let it make anything worse. I know about this, ive found out many things that i wish were not true, but im not going to let it make me act differently around the person or situation. As for the second question, i dont mean to sound impersonal, but i find it fascinating to explore these ''taboo'' parts of tarot that so many people shy away from. I too think that you must have a lot of cards for a reading to ''imply'' something. I think these cards would be Death,3,4,6,10 swords, 5 cups maybe. I dont really see devil or tower implying these things, unless it describes the feelings of the bereaved.

prudence	28 Feb 2005
Hi all, just wondering about something mentioned here...I see why the 3,10 of swords may indicate suicide, but why 4 and 6 of swords? ( of swords seems like a likely one too. But 4 and 6 I usually see as positive cards...have I been wrong all this time?

tarotlova	28 Feb 2005
Astrid O wrote: Hi all, just wondering about something mentioned here...I see why the 3,10 of swords may indicate suicide, but why 4 and 6 of swords? ( of swords seems like a likely one too. But 4 and 6 I usually see as positive cards...have I been wrong all this time? God no! Your not wrong at all, the 4 of Swords fell out of the packet when I was shuffeling the cards once, and then I found out my cousin had died of breast cancer that day, and that card looks like a death card sort of by the way his lying on a tomb, but it also stands for taking a rest too for me, it just depends on the reading. As for the 6 this can show a peaceful death the boat on the water the trip to the other world, or in other readings that you are going to move away, and live near water it always depends on the reading of the time.

rainwolf	01 Mar 2005
I didnt really attribute the 4 or 6 either but i could understand the 4 in very special circumstances. The 6 is plausable for me because it alludes to the river of styx in mythology...which is really cool!

Phoenix Rising	01 Mar 2005
I guess there are alot of 'shoulds' & "shouldn'ts' that people have come up with. Like 'you shouldn't charge money for your gift' or 'you should be given a deck, and not buy your own' and on and on it goes. And this being just another one of those shoulds & shouldn'ts. Whatever you believe is right for you, you can feel guilty of having a certain belief or ritual. And I am guilty of doing readings and not having their consent, like seeing how family members and friends are getting on this sort of thing, but I'm not harming them in anyway. I have a look to see how the cards are expressing themself, so when they say, 'hey, so and so happened' then I can relate it to the cards, it's just learning for me personally. But I'm not going to get caught up in ethics, belief or superstitions. And because I don't worry about it, nothing is going to happen to me... What if someone else comes up in the cards, like someones future love interest? Did you have there permission? Personally I say, don't worry about it, or else you're just putting restrictions on yourself. And what are you going to do with the information, if you read for another without their consent? In the end, it's a free world and we can do what we wish, you'll soon find out if you've done the wrong thing, and hey what a great lesson to learn!

rainwolf	01 Mar 2005
Knowledge should never be restricted (even though i can be hypocritical about this im sure :blush: ) Just dont make someones life hell with what you have learned.

psychic sue	01 Mar 2005
My opinion is read for others if you feel the need, but keep it to yourself. Sue

Ahria	01 Mar 2005
I think as long as your intentions are good, as you meant to help not hinder then go ahead.

The reading for others and asking permission thread was originally posted on 28 Feb 2005 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.