When it comes to BAD news while reading for another person.

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 07 Feb 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Unicorncrazy	07 Feb 2005
I have never read for another person yet but my mum says it's not good when it comes to the bad news. I suppose it would be bad because they probably wouldn't know what news they are waiting for and then if you say something like someone you know is going to die or something like that they would FREAK! Just want to hear what people have to say about when they read for someoneelse and the bad news came up.

MattDouglas	07 Feb 2005
What you reveal to someone is every bit as much a judgment call as is the interpretation itself. More often than not I feel an ethical obligation to report any bad news I see. Of course, if the bad news if future-orirented, you are giving them a choice whether or not to heed such a possibility, and they may choose to dismiss what you say as nonsense anyway, so you proably can't hurt them here. Also, the future is not etched is stone, so though we cannot escape the karma we generate, I feel we have the ability to have input into our future right now. The past and present are the much harder areas to deal with. Often times people come to you with an issue and appreciate genuine and sincere discussion of it, though it may be painful. However, sometimes you get people trying a reading out of curiousity, and the cards reveal a major issue they might really not be ready to hear it. Or at least not ready to hear it from you. Asa male reader, it's never particularly easy to be reading for a female if I see rape in her past. i've had this happen to me several times. Sometimes they seemed like the wanted it brought up, other times I kept my much shut about such a specific detail, but mentioned there were some extremely rough situations in her past, that she may feel very alon as a result, and could really use to find someone or some group or perhaps a profeesional to talk to about it. Usually, if a person is making contact and actively engaging in conversation with you, they are wanting to hear bad news if it's there. If they are just kinda nodding along and not saying much, then they probably can't take bad news at the moment. I hope these possibilities don't scare you away from readings as these are rare occurences ( though such traumatic events aren't). Nonetheless, things like this can come up. Always have handy a list of counselors or crisis centers when reading. It's rare you need it, but you might. Ultimately though, there is no set formula to follow. Just be as compassionate as you can. Hope that helps! Love, understanding, and compassion, Matt

tarotbear	07 Feb 2005
If you are afraid of having to 'tell a querent bad news' then you will have problems reading for the public because everything in life is not peaches-and-cream. What you must learn to do is soften your approach to the idea. First of all -YOU- can make mistakes or be mistaken about the news. Flipping over a card and screaming " A Chicken Delite delivery truck is going to fall out of the sky and crush you on the way home from work on March 16th!" - is as stupid as the example I just used. So is "Your sister-in-law is going to die of cancer!" How you deliver this news is almost as important as the news. You must learn to develope tact, presence of mind, and a good tableside manner. Most 'bad news' usually has a reason, and and outcome, but sometimes 'bad news' is there stirctly as an attention-getting device or a 'heads-up' warning. At work, there is a person who wants me to give them a reading but ends each request with 'BUT I don't want you to tell me anything bad!' This person is not ready to face something and will try to place the 'blame' for bad news on you, and not themselves- who shuffled the cards in the first place. Once, when having my cards read professionally, the reader asked me point blank if she saw anything bad if I wanted to know about it. I replied I always want to hear the bad news. What you will learn - or should learn - is that all 'bad news' has a positive reason hidden somewhere deep inside it ... as difficult as that may sound. If you can focus on the positive reasons for this news, you will be helping the Querent. An example of this is seeing that the Querent is having an extra-marital affair (yes- that one is very obvious at times) and it will probably end in disaster or divorce. You will do much better to vocalise the problems the querent is having with relationships, talking about hurt feelings and heartache that you see culminating in the spring, rather than saying something blatant though true such as 'If you don't stop schtupping that bimbo and get some marriage counselling, your wife is going to win the divorce she is going to charge you with!" If you only want to know the most positive aspects of the cards, read 'Tarot of the Soul,' by Belinda Atkinson, ISBN 0-926524-32-1. The Ten Spades/Swords says, in part, "The Ten of Spades asks you to think positively about some situation or relationship which is causing you anxiety. Rather tnan fearing failure or preparing for the worst, program your subconscious mind for success." - If that isn't the nicest way to describe a body laying face down in a pool of it's own blood with ten swords stuck in it's back - I don't know what is!

Athara	07 Feb 2005
Great advice, MattDouglas and tarotbear! I just want to add: although some things can't be prevented, the future is never set in stone. In stead of bringing bad news ('You're going to get divorced') you can give advice ('You should put some more effort in your marriage'). Tarot isn't a (mis-)fortune telling device, it's a learning process.

Kara	07 Feb 2005
Totally agree with the above, plus, it's all in the way you phrase it - without blame or judgement ('well, you know, if YOU hadn't done this, it would NEVER have happened..', etc), and I think most readers try to work with possibilities, try to give options of action out of/through the situations. There are some situations where there are none, but then you need to draw on your compassion. If I do see that it was their own fault, I try to remember that everyone makes mistakes, and it's through our mistakes that we learn(hopefully:-)). Inner growth for all of us happens often through pain...sorry to say. We're not there to take their lessons away from them, to gloss over, or even to try to take it on ourselves, but to help them through it. To help them realize or accept what's happening to them, in their lives. Once people can do this, it's much easier for them to effectively take steps towards changing a disturbing situation, or the way they see this situation. Plus, I try to remember to say, in some way, that I'm not Fortuna. I don't guarantee, and for sure not for readings over 6 months(but that's everyone's personal choice - you know yourself and your reading style and ability best). So many times, the ending that looked like a total catstrophe in one reading, just two weeks later already seemed like the wonderful breakthrough that set everything free, so you never know. A lot really is your own take on what's 'good' or 'bad'. The 'best' readers are maybe completely unjudgemental towards good and bad, but sensitive and compassionate towards the feelings and the growing of their client.

Kit	07 Feb 2005
Hi Unicorncrazy- Another South Australian! :D Great advice from everyone... When faced with bad news (or at least what seems like bad news) to break, it may be helpful to do a spread outlining the best path of action to take and people and factors which may help the querant in this issue. Also, as Matt and Kara have metioned, what intitially seems like bad news to you, may turn out to be a beneficial experience for the querant (or at least not as malevolent as it appeared to be in the first place). For every downside there is and upside. What may look like a painful ending may offer a chance at a new beginning, or at least a form of release from past events. It's all about how you present the reading to the querant- instill some hope into it! ;) Kit

The When it comes to BAD news while reading for another person. thread was originally posted on 07 Feb 2005 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.