When someone reads for you.....

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 31 Mar 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Moongold	31 Mar 2005
This is a little related to jump's question. I thought of it whilst reading through his thread. When someone reads for you do you accept what they say or reinterpret the cards according to your own lights? Moongold

Annabelle	31 Mar 2005
So far, I've just accepted what people said. However, this may be in part because I'm fairly new at tarot reading, and so I'm not too confident yet in my own interpretive abilities...and also because of a little bit of laziness...I don't want to do all that work if someone has already written up a perfectly good reading for me. However, I did have one Circle of Stones experience in which my partner, after very kindly letting me know that the reading I'd done for her was just fine, went ahead and reinterpreted the cards for herself, and read them as pertaining to a personal issue in her life that I couldn't have known anything about. I wasn't bothered by her reinterpretations at all...I was really glad that she could get something deeper out of the reading than I was able to give her. So I'm not opposed to reinterpreting a reading someone does for me...I've just never yet felt inclined to.

WhiteRaven	31 Mar 2005
I had this happen to me in the circle....where I did a reading and then the querant re-interped it. Kinda threw me.....but I let it go. This week.....I had a reading but I saw something else instead....and contacted the Reader and with permission.....posted my take on it. I think pming and discussing it first before doing it is the proper way of going about it. I would not have posted that kind of feedback without the Readers permission first.

StellaJane	31 Mar 2005
It's much more difficult for me to read for myself than for others, so when I can get someone else to read for me, I just let the reader do her/his thing. I try to resist the urge to interpret the cards myself, but sometimes that's hard to do!

mnemosyne7	31 Mar 2005
It takes some effort, but when I ask someone to read for me, I really try to get out of their way. I have found that even if I don't see what they are saying at the time, something usually happens later to validate the reading. It's good to get on the other side of the reading on occasion. Funny, but when my students read for me - I am always amazed at the stuff they come up with. I have decided that I attract verrrry intuitive students, and I shouldn't let them read for me unless I really want to hear what I need to hear. On another note, I paid for a reading from a well-known local Tarot reader last weekend at a renaissance festival. Five out of ten cards were Major Arcana, and she kept the reading on a very mundane level - all about some man I'm going to meet and possibly have a relationship with (with or without the knowledge/consent of my other half). I'm not sure if she kept the reading mundane because of the venue or if she just didn't see any import in the Majors that turned up. I'm just going to wait and see ... I told my other half if a knight in shining armor shows up, not to wait up for me - that I'd fill him in when I get home. (She did do some interesting things during the reading, like tying colors together from different cards and saying they were related.) Mnem

ros	31 Mar 2005
I always accept what the reader tells me. I feel everyone has their own way of reading. I also compare with my ideas so I can learn at the same time.

Alta	31 Mar 2005
Most of the time when I am given a reading, I accept it as given. They drew the cards, the insights came to them. The one time I have had second thoughts are if card(s) are featured in their reading that have strong personal significance for me, which they may not know about. My Year Card or Personality card, or a card that featured strongly in recent self-readings. Generally I mention that to the reader as a part of the feedback. Sometimes I give one or two of my own thoughts, but usually by way of feedback, focussing on their ideas.

Simone	01 Apr 2005
When I am given a reading - I accept it as it is too - of course I give feedback, but I most of the time do not reinterpret the cards. Do I dare admit this? I do not even manage to memorise which cards were pulled for me (except if there is a repetitive card showing up, like the chariot for me over the last few readings)... ;)

Phoenix Rising	01 Apr 2005
I always believe that the cards never lie, but the interpretation may not make sense sometimes, but later on I can relate back to what they were trying to say, and then it does make sense. Sometimes people want the readers to really spell it out for them. "You will meet X tomorrow in a garden, he will be wearing a green shirt" sort of thing. But generally I take it for what it is, if it happens well that's good too, if I don't like what a outcome might be, then I will change it. I always feel there is a element of truth in there somewhere.

purple_scorp	01 Apr 2005
Sometimes, if I'm confused by what the readers says, I'll ask for more information. Like for example, Moongold, when you did that reading for me and drew The Lovers and I could not relate at all to that card. But after a few posts back and forward, and a couple of pm's....it finally resonated with me. Or, if I think a reading or a card kind of fits a situation, but I'm not 100% sure, I might tell the reader the situation and ask them if it could be related. I have a very analytical brain, so I continually process and reprocess things. I don't feel a connection with many Tarot decks and I know at times, I've had to think of the card equivalent from my own deck, to get a firm idea of all that the reading may imply - that's if I don't feel the reader's interpretation has hit the mark. From what others have stated, my approach might be seen as being a bit rude but I look at it this way. I would be saying all the same things if I was having a face-to-face reading and it is the kind of feedback that I would like to receive if I do a reading for you. Because, maybe as the reader, I've gone off on a totally wrong tangent. purple_scorp

WalesWoman	02 Apr 2005
I try to relate to the reading as the reader gave it to me, but what if I see something that relates more clearly than what they said? What if I see something from a different perspective...I'll respect the reader but I don't think their reading is the end all be all just because they say this or that and should just say thankyou very much and walk away if I can't relate to it. This is my reading after all, maybe I have blind spots that they can see what I may not be able to, but I know my life and they don't, so if I see how this can relate to some particular situation in a better way and that the message of the reading seems to point to that aspect, should I just shut my mouth and accept something that doesn't quite fit? I'm learning from experience and honestly some of the best readings I've done with others are what they have seen or gotten from my descriptions rather than my take on the spread. I'm not going to get into a snit if someone reinterprets the spread or my reading... the point is to help them answer their question, to help them find something meaningful for them, not prove my brilliance or abilty. If I can't be open, if I can't submerge my ego, then I shouldn't be reading for others and just read for myself, since I can win all arguments with myself. So if it fits I'll take the reader's interpretation to heart, if I see something else I think of it more as an addition to the reading rather than a reinterpretation...I'm NOT ignoring their interpretation but making it be more meaningful to me. I hope that when this happens I am being diplomatice about it and not making the reader feel that I have no faith in them or what they interpreted. That I am expanding on their reading rather than detracting from it.

Moongold	02 Apr 2005
I am ashamed to say that a couple of times I have reinterpreted. Once Indigo Rose did a beautiful reading for me and I completely reinterpreted it, I am embarrassed to say. I found it in my office not long ago. I won't do it again. I believe now that one needs to hand over completely to the reader and trust. That is part of the process unless she or he invites us to participate. :)

MercyMe	02 Apr 2005
It's synchronistic that this question was posed this week as someone asked this very question to me just a day before it was posted here. I told him it's a temptation as a tarot reader receiving a tarot reading to think we know what the cards mean for us, yet at the same time so many of us feel hamstrung by our lack of objectivity when reading for ourselves. I answered him by saying I try to keep my tarot reader hat to the side when receiving a reading and only put it on to add something to the reading, not to re-do it to suit me. The best readings, IMO, happen when the reader and seeker respond in tandem with the cards. I think the reader, however, drives the reading. As a seeker, we may have insights sparked by the reader's interpretation because of course we know more details than he/she does about the particular life situation in question (usually), so we can see connections the reader may not see. Also, I do not always have the particular deck available to me that the reader is using, so I may not be able to visualize the same things the reader is seeing. I need to trust the reader's intuition and use it as a jumping off point in my own reflections and thoughts, connecting the dots, but not completely reinterpreting what the reader said.

Nevada	02 Apr 2005
Especially online, where the reader is the one to shuffle and draw the cards, and where I may not even own the particular deck, I feel that the reader's interpretation rules the reading. But I sometimes later take a look from my own perspective and use that as supplemental information. Anything I come up with I usually view as secondary. It's a good question and one that has nagged me a little from time to time when I read for other people who know Tarot. I wonder if they take my reading as is, or are reinterpreting along the way. But I try to not worry about it. It's just a distraction. MercyMe, you and I posted at the same time and I was also thinking it synchronous, since I'd been considering this just this week. Nevada

caridwen	02 Apr 2005
Quote: This is my reading after all, maybe I have blind spots that they can see what I may not be able to, but I know my life and they don't, so if I see how this can relate to some particular situation in a better way and that the message of the reading seems to point to that aspect, should I just shut my mouth and accept something that doesn't quite fit? There's a very simple solution here - do your own reading:P I like others reading for me for exactly the reasons you state, because they CAN see my life from a different perspective, they may be able to see things that I can't and add extra insight blocked from me. Sometimes I can't see the wood for the trees and a reading helps things click into place. (I'm not talking about our reading in CoS btw:) ) I especially like readings where I don't know the deck at all - I am completely in the hands of the reader and don't feel the nagging need to look at the cards.

HOLMES	02 Apr 2005
i used to reinterprate the cards everytime, possibly to change the meanings to fit what i wanted. i found that i was doing this in live chat as well and then i realized i wasn't listening to what they were saying but changing what they were saying to fit what i wanted. i didn't read the cards for myself but simply changed what they were syaing so it was half read the cards for myself and half correct. finaly i vow that when i am read for i only read the information given and not the cards themselves. i saw that others were doing it to me as well in fact one time in pm i dont recall who, the person had asked me for a reading and i gave it and they said i don't see that in the cards, this was years ago. i find that when we are have issues going on in our lives, or especially when the mark starts to hit to close to home most of us including me will try to rationalize the cards to miss the mark sort to speak.

WalesWoman	02 Apr 2005
I feel a cringe of recognition after reading Holmes last post... I really hadn't thought of myself so much re-interpreting someone else's reading when I see ways that that card or their interpretation takes me as a way of making the reading go in a direction I want it too. I thought I was simply making the reading more meaningful to me... but the wheels could be turning so fast and making so much noise that I haven't been really listening at all. Oh heck, now I've got to think about this. PS Caridwen, I hear you... and am gaining some better understanding. Your point was well taken, believe me.

Cerulean	02 Apr 2005
There was a good reading by a kind reader here...but what was suggested was at work there was a younger man enchanted with me, just by me-being-me, etc., and the reader was wildly curious. She saw a Page, by the way... The scenario though as I re-interpreted it, was what happened that weekend. I was with my brother and husband, both older than me, and I was taking pictures of my 'fit-to-burst', shining faced nephew batting for his baseball charity. It was a beautiful Spring day and the young boys were loving every minute of posing in their uniforms, talking and being 'picture ready.' I was 'heart-at-work" as the picture-happy auntie taking pictures for the grandparents (my folks) and I was very, very happy. The reading and my developed pictures that came on the same day just seemed--well, just seemed made for each other. The ladies at work that saw the pictures thought this was a real joy for me and my youngest nephew... It's been about a year and there's been no other younger men than nephews to be delighted with...or my fictional characters that I'm working with. I think I took the idea of younger men and a young woman within three to five years of him and rewrote the story backgrounds for a great creative writing class. The reader could have been seeing a story developing in my fiction? I hadn't thought of that closely.... Regards Cerulean

purple_scorp	02 Apr 2005
Hey Cerulean, your post made me think of something else. How many people go back to a spread, a week, a month, a year etc later, and analyse it to see how it all fit in? Things don't always pan out the way you think they might, and you gave a very good example of this Cerulean, with your photo story. I'm wondering if others here reflect on past readings and have ah-ha moments? Or do you just let sleeping dogs lie? purple_scorp

MercyMe	02 Apr 2005
Especially when the Tower pops up. I looked at a reading I had done a month before the actual Tower event happened and my interpretation was NOT AT ALL correct! But I did the reading for myself and if I'd known exactly what the Tower event was going to be, it wouldn't have been a Tower event, you know, something out of the blue to shake you up. So I looked back on it and NOW I KNOW, lol, what that Tower was there for. ~Mercy

contrascarpe	02 Apr 2005
I never re-evaluate a reading done for me, unless the reader asks me my opinion. Since I believe the reading is a direct interpretation taken from the soul of the reader, who am I to reinterpret? Regarding your question, purple scorp - this is a fault of mine here on the boards. I look at the reading carefully and give as detailed feedback as I can, but very rarely go back and look at them. I know I should since it is part of a growing process for me. I just need to remember, I guess. Dan

purple_scorp	02 Apr 2005
Hi Dan, maybe Solandia could build into her software, a follow-up field, that is calendar-based that enables us to tick it and then we get an email notification that we need to go back and revisit the spread. Hmm, sorry, my IT brain sometimes takes over my head!!! purple_scorp

jmd	02 Apr 2005
To the original question, I always accept a reading according to the ways in which the reader has read the cards, not the way I may possibly read them were that same spread to manifest in one of my readings. If a reader asks me what I could make of a card within a spread, I usually mention that it is for them to read, not me. If they however ask what a card might mean (in a learning situation), then of course I may suggest various ways in which it may be interpreted.

SunChariot	02 Apr 2005
Moongold wrote: This is a little related to jump's question. I thought of it whilst reading through his thread. When someone reads for you do you accept what they say or reinterpret the cards according to your own lights? Moongold I would say that you need to trust what the reader says. As the cards that come up for a reader will come up in a way that is designed to get a specific messate across to them. If the universe wanted to send you the same message, it would likely send you different cards. As we are all different inside and have had different backgrounds. The cards that mean one thing to us can mean something else to someone else. If the cards look like to you they mean something else, you need to keep that in mind, that the universe sent those cards in a way that would be easily interepreted by the reader and if they mean something else to you, that may not have been intended. Of course if you doubt something you can always go home and do your own reading, and/or if it turns out inaccurate find a new reader who is more in tune with you. Just my opinions again.:-) Bar

purple_scorp	03 Apr 2005
Hi Bar, you raise an interesting point because we do program our cards to mean certain things for oursElves. purple_scorp

psychic sue	03 Apr 2005
The only time someone has read for me has been on this forum. I accepted what people say without hesitation. This is simply because I cannot read for myself. I can't connect the cards, and if I see something I don't like I try and put a positive slant on it ! So I don't try and change what my kind readers say. After all, they have gone to the time and trouble to read for me, so for me, it would be a bit insulting to try and embellish on that reading. Sue

Ahria	03 Apr 2005
I must I have never tried to reinterpret someone elses reading simply because I am expecting them to what ever I have asked about from a totally different perspective. Also I read intuitively so when I look at a post I don't really connect with it, if there is a picture of the cards then maybe, but I generally dont interfere because I am there to learn something new that I havent seen.

caridwen	03 Apr 2005
purple_scorp wrote: Hey Cerulean, your post made me think of something else. How many people go back to a spread, a week, a month, a year etc later, and analyse it to see how it all fit in? Things don't always pan out the way you think they might, and you gave a very good example of this Cerulean, with your photo story. I'm wondering if others here reflect on past readings and have ah-ha moments? Or do you just let sleeping dogs lie? purple_scorp I do:) I also remember readings for people I've given here and sometimes a tidbit of info comes out and I smile wryly to myself lol:)

tmgrl2	03 Apr 2005
Excellent question, Moongold. If I get a reading live, it is interactive to some extent and the readers I have had so far have not discouraged that. I wouldn't say I "reinterpret," but I would say, I might add to something that was said in terms of how it might apply specifically to my life. I don't believe, however, that I would say "Oh I don't think that's right at all," or "Oh I don't think that means that...." I take what it given to me in the reading as a gift, and then quietly reflect over time on what was said and I find, that as time passes, the parts that will guides or advice for me wind up staying foremost in my mind. So, then, it doesn't become important about parts that may not have applied. A bit like the "cup half empty, cup half full" idea. I focus on what is of help to me. That way, I often fail to even see something that might not apply or might not be "right" for me at that moment in time. terri This is one of the reasons, I don't like to do readings here at AT and have someone "reinterpret" the reading or the cards (unless I have asked for that specifically). I find that sometimes the concept of using a reading for someone as a "schooling" could possible cross over to confuse or offend either the reader or the sitter. It all depends upon the ground rules that are either set up or understood beforehand. For example, when Umbrae and firemaiden did the Green Gargoyle, by the last reading, they were literally discussing "live" the meanings. As they did so the meanings were "shaped." This is different to me from doing a whole reading, and then having someone say the interpretations were not seen "according to my own lights" as you so nicely put it.

peridot	03 Apr 2005
When someone reads for me I take it as face value. I listen to what the reader tells me about the cards and what messages there may be for me and I accept that and appreciate their insight. Everyone reads differently and has a unique rapport with thier cards. The way I see it - I can always do a reading for myself if I wanted to. The purpose of having another reader read for me is so I can benefit from their special talent.

Nevada	03 Apr 2005
To me the real question is, why do you go to someone for a reading? If you're going to go by your own interpretation, why not just read for yourself? I go to another reader when I have a question I haven't been able to answer for myself. If I don't listen to them, I'm just wasting their time and mine. Nevada

Emeraldgirl	04 Apr 2005
I try to switch off I think that people are doing their best while giving you a reading and you should be respectful of that fact. Also here is an old saying that my mum always says "there is none so blind as though who refuse to see" Somethimes other people pick up on things that we don't or won't see within ourselves.

Elven	04 Apr 2005
Years ago I used to go to the same reader all the time. This was because she was so direct, she was confident and down to earth, no ifs or buts, she explained everything clearly and didnt budge an inch. I had the readings taped and still have them today. Her timing was something I could never grasp, and either could she. She made it very clear that some things if they came to pass where in the distant future, I when I look back, she was right. I never questioned her, even though I was a tarot student at the time, learning from another teacher. I admired the way she delivered the spread. Something told me to trust her. Unfortunately she left Australia and went to live in England. I cant read my own cards very well although I am becoming a little more excepting of my own wisdom. I have realized after having a break for a while, I'm not being phased by the shock of seeing what I used to think were bad cards. I am accepting now, when they arrival in a spread. Trusting someone else to read for me has been invaluable and I have learnt the importance of that through being here at ATF also. I love the way the cards are interpreted at so many different levels. Talk about deep and meaningful! Elven x

psychic sue	04 Apr 2005
Reading through the posts. I realise that I have never had an "interactive" reading. It is more difficult to interpret a reading posted, because the lack of feed back has you guessing, to some extent. Especially when the poster doesn't tell you which area of life they are asking a question on! Its a funny thing, but I never really had the urge to have my cards read. To some extent, I don't want to know what lies ahead, good or bad. I suppose spreads I have posted on here for self-enlightenment, but that has been since joining this community. I wouldn't have thought about it before ! I do small spreads for myself now, but these are based on the spiritual side of life, not really incidents in my life. I have asked two questions about life in general, on this forum, but that's about it (I think). I love reading other people's interpretation of spreads here. It gives you insight into the cards themselves and shows how people approach things from different angles. I too like the many "layers" of interpretation the cards present. Sue x

The When someone reads for you..... thread was originally posted on 31 Mar 2005 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.