Reading experience

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 06 Apr 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Gwynne	06 Apr 2005
I've been reading for a few years and have been relying mostly on word of mouth with a bit of advertising here and there to find new clients. My local metaphysical shop recently moved to a large location in the mall and they now have room for a reader and I've been asked to be the staff reader on Mondays and Tuesdays (yay for me!) The staff is amazing, they are all friendly and helpful (I want a job there LOL) Last night was my first evening reading at the shop, and for the most part it was a slow, boring evening. It was the first really nice day of the year, the first day you could really say "Spring is here!" so business at the mall was extremely slow anyway... I only had two people come in during the three hours that I was there, and it was a mother and daughter and they were just.... blah.... it was basically a game to them, when they came in the store the mother even said to the daughter "Oh, there's a fortune-teller here today... let's get one!" I wanted to scream "I am NOT a fortune-teller.... I'm a Tarot reader... I might see trends in your future, but for the most part I'll tell you what's going on in your life right now and the changes you need to make to reach your goals!!!!" but I didn't say anything, I smiled and was polite... The daughter didn't really want a reading, just went along with it because mom was there, and mom tried, repeatedly, to take over daughters reading, asking about when the daughter would get married (she was still in high school for crying out loud!!!!) and other inappropriate questions. For the most part I was able to continue to keep control of the reading, which started irritating the mother (control freak..... that even came up in her reading!!!) And then at the end of the reading, she hesitated to pay me because I "didn't tell the future like I was supposed to..." But she ended up paying me anyway, and walked away grumbling the whole time... I was not thrilled at all... but I've passed it off as some people are just "blah...." So what would you do in such a situation?

Clau	06 Apr 2005
First of all: congratularions!!!! It is such a nice thing when your talents are recognized! good for you! As for the client: just forget her and be open to your next client, you might have a very nice person, really open to what you have to offer. But keep in mind you're in a mall now, so the public is very different from the people who goes directly to a methaphisical shop. Most mall shoppers don't necessarily know or appreciate a good tarot reading, I assume they have the misconception this mother had, so be patient, cos probably you'll get 3 "Fortune seekers" and just 1 "I get what tarot is about".. Love, Clau

April	06 Apr 2005
So true about the mall patrons, Clau. I think I know where you're coming from, Gwynne. I was reading for a party at a cosmetics store a couple of weeks ago, and I had to explain more than a few times that I wasn't a fortune teller. I'm one to talk. The store's staff made me a sign that pretty much implied that I WAS a fortune teller. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast, but I've learned a couple of things about how to market myself and explain what it is that I do. The people who get readings on a whim just because you both happened to be there are often very different from the people who seek you out to talk about a specific issue that's bothering them. The former a lot of the time are just looking for a little fun. I don't think there's anything wrong with that because I have fun reading for them but I try to make it clear that they have control over there own lives. I think it's fine to start off a reading with a short (short being the key word) speech about what they can expect. That's part of the reason I like to have a questions. Then I know what it is they ARE expecting. That way nobody can refuse to pay you for not delivering their daughter's wedding date. Clau's right, though. They won't all be like this, but some will and a few other are even worse. You'll get better at handling them each time. I had a couple of people who sounded disappointed to hear I wasn't psychic, but we're very pleased by the time the reading was over. Give what you can, and if they don't want to take it, that's their problem. And whenever you can, nip that fortune telling expectation in the bud. Peace, April

Reed	06 Apr 2005
For the most part I was able to continue to keep control of the reading, which started irritating the mother (control freak..... that even came up in her reading!!!) Hi Gwynne I'm taking a class on tarot reading, and my instructor suggests that when couples come for a reading (I think mother and daughter could be included here) simply say that you prefer doing separate readings. That way, you can be candid with each querant. Reed

Gwynne	06 Apr 2005
Reed wrote: For the most part I was able to continue to keep control of the reading, which started irritating the mother (control freak..... that even came up in her reading!!!) Hi Gwynne I'm taking a class on tarot reading, and my instructor suggests that when couples come for a reading (I think mother and daughter could be included here) simply say that you prefer doing separate readings. That way, you can be candid with each querant. Reed That was one of the biggest problems, issues showed up in the daughter's reading that I just did not feel comfortable discussing in front of her mother. She was 18, but still in high school, and mom was right there. The issues seemed to be about her mother's control, but with mom there it was just not something that could really be brought up. I'm just so used to word of mouth clients, and those are generally people who know what they are looking for in a reading, not there just because it's a fun thing to do to pass 15 minutes.... It's a change that I'll have to get used to. I'm not saying it's bad.. just different!

magpie9	06 Apr 2005
It's been my practice for many years to do individual readings for any couple or group of people. Private stuff comes up, and it also makes the process more intrigueing to other potential customers. Just be sure you and your client can't be overheard. }) However, it's a plus if people can see you doing the reading!;)

Emeraldgirl	06 Apr 2005
I don't do professional readings but I think that Reed has given some great advice. I try not to do readings for friends and families when other people are around as it can be quite distracting especially if it's my partner he sits there asking people over and over if I am being accurate (in a positive way "she's pretty good huh?") and telling them how he wasn't a believer until I did a reading for him and it was really spot on. He tries so hard be understanding and positive but sometimes I just have to shoo him away.

Original Destiny	07 Apr 2005
Hi Gwynne, I have only everdone one mother daughter reading and it was the most awful tarot experience I have ever had. Since then I have never had anyone come for a reading at my home again. Looking back the situation seemed very unusul in a couple of ways; firstly all my clients were either regular clients or by recommendation. I didnt advertise then so you had to be given my number by someone known to me. Secondly when the mother rang me I didnt ask how she had got my number and I agreed to see her the next evening ( which i never do) To cut a long story short the mother wanted me to look at her daughters cards because she had a problem. I looked at the spread and it was just a jumble of Major Arcana and court cards. (At this time i was picking up on some really bad vibes, I felt realy uneasy with the situation and my intuition was screaming for me to get rid of them) ..Isaid i couldnt make any sense of them because they were in turmoil, they were unreadable. the daughter was at a point in her life were she alone had to choose her path. I couldnt help her. She said that wasnt helpful, she was pregnant and needed to decide that very week if she was going to have an abortion. she wanted me to tell her what to do! and demanded an answer!.... I had to be really assertive with her and her mother, I said It was a horrible thing to expect me to pass judgement on the life of an unborn child and i asked them to leave... the mother insisted i looked at her cards or she wouldnt move... so reluctantly I did...evidently my reading was very accurate for i saw trouble with a man/close relative which involved money....she said that she was in hiding from her partner who was a Murderer. he worked for drug gangs as a hit man and was looking for her because she had stolen money from him I got them out of the house as quickly as possible and for weeks i had thoughts of this hit man calling. It still bugs me today, so I dont do home readings or mother/daughter readings anymore.... it took me several months to get back to doing readings again

Little Baron	07 Apr 2005
Really interesting thread. Congrats on your new work and try not to worry about the situation. There has been some great advice here. As a side note, April, could you pass on a little info about the short talk you give clients beforehand. I think that would be very useful for me and others, I imagine. It sounds very 'grounding' before a reading. LB

tarotbear	08 Apr 2005
Advice : get the payment up front ~ first! :smoker: Remember, you can't pick your querents, so you have to deal with the ones that come to you. Learn to enjoy it and ignore it; people with a 'mall mentality' are there to waste time or spend money and are not going to ask you the secret to the sweet mystery of life. See if you can arrange it so that the readings are not done in the middle of the store, and if necessary, ask that there be only one person at a time. Be professional at all times. Keep a good sense of humor about you.

tarotbear	08 Apr 2005
Dear Gwynne~ During a reading where someone paid me to read their cards, they sat there the whole time saying over and over 'I know this is all bullshit. I know this is all bullshit...' I finally had enough of this treatment and looked them in the eye and intoned rather strongly "If all you expect is bullshit ~ all you are going to get is bullshit!" Have to agree, though, that the people who come to a metaphysical shop are not the same people who would come to see a reader at a 'cosmetic store' ( a cosmetic store?) From experience of being in theatre and having been interviewed many times during my life, it is always best to be in control from the start. That means if you have to provide your own posters - do so! That way you can have your publicity say what YOU want! LOL! I suggest sticking to the facts - that you read Tarot cards. Skip all those phrases that would connect you to Miss Cleo such as 'Know Your Future,' 'Fortune Teller,' 'Madame X knows all and sees all.' Skip the circus sideshow bit. If the place asking you to read at tries moving you in that direction, you have every right to say that you are a professional and would appreciate doing your own publicity.

caridwen	08 Apr 2005
I want to start off by giving you a little wrap on the wrist;) Tarot readings are very personal and can often dredge up deep issues for the querent. The girl did not want her tarot read - why did you read it for her? You shouldn't have read it in front of her mother. I would have read for the mother because she wanted her cards read. However, I would have firstly asked the daughter to come back in half an hour or however long I had allocated for each querent. Secondly, I would have explained very clearly what Tarot is and what it does and then asked if they still wanted a reading. If so, they hand over the money and I do a reading. Something else I would think about doing as well - make up a very simple contract which explains exactly what you do and what the client can expect and ask them to sign it. It's something you can point to if they demand their money back because you haven't 'delivered'.

April	08 Apr 2005
LittleBuddha wrote: As a side note, April, could you pass on a little info about the short talk you give clients beforehand. I think that would be very useful for me and others, I imagine. It sounds very 'grounding' before a reading. Never thought of it as "grounding" but I suppose it is. Anyway, first I try to ask if they've had a reading before. For some I don't always remember that step. The rest kind of depends on the vibe I'm getting from the person in front of me. Then I ask if there's anything in particular they want to discuss. These two questions give me a general idea of what there expecting and I go from there. It's not always necessary, but I like to explain that they're in control of their own life and if they don't like anything I say they are free to change it. The future is not set in stone. If someone asked me "When will I get a new job?" I would say "Well, when do you want one?" They would probably say, "Now." And I would reply, "Then let's find out HOW you can get one NOW, or at least ASAP." I've never had any complaints about this approach and I think it makes them happier than if I did tell them when. Yes, Tarotbear, a cosmetic store. It was a Spring Equinox party with a Goddess theme. I agree not the most ideal client base, but I had a lot of fun and I went home with a ton of soaps and lotions and other girly junk. Plus I was the most popular girl at the party! ;) Peace, April

Gwynne	08 Apr 2005
tarotbear wrote: Dear Gwynne~ During a reading where someone paid me to read their cards, they sat there the whole time saying over and over 'I know this is all bullshit. I know this is all bullshit...' I finally had enough of this treatment and looked them in the eye and intoned rather strongly "If all you expect is bullshit ~ all you are going to get is bullshit!" Have to agree, though, that the people who come to a metaphysical shop are not the same people who would come to see a reader at a 'cosmetic store' ( a cosmetic store? ) From experience of being in theatre and having been interviewed many times during my life, it is always best to be in control from the start. That means if you have to provide your own posters - do so! That way you can have your publicity say what YOU want! LOL! I suggest sticking to the facts - that you read Tarot cards. Skip all those phrases that would connect you to Miss Cleo such as 'Know Your Future,' 'Fortune Teller,' 'Madame X knows all and sees all.' Skip the circus sideshow bit. If the place asking you to read at tries moving you in that direction, you have every right to say that you are a professional and would appreciate doing your own publicity. The shop owner is wonderful. She put up a sign at the front of the store when I'm reading that simply says "Tarot Readings $15" and has some Tarot cards pasted on it. Nothing fancy, but it gets the point across. However I'm thinking of adding stuff to my table, like a brochure and maybe a nice sign with my ethics of reading, etc. on it.

Gwynne	08 Apr 2005
caridwen wrote: I want to start off by giving you a little wrap on the wrist;) Tarot readings are very personal and can often dredge up deep issues for the querent. The girl did not want her tarot read - why did you read it for her? You shouldn't have read it in front of her mother. I would have read for the mother because she wanted her cards read. However, I would have firstly asked the daughter to come back in half an hour or however long I had allocated for each querent. Secondly, I would have explained very clearly what Tarot is and what it does and then asked if they still wanted a reading. If so, they hand over the money and I do a reading. Something else I would think about doing as well - make up a very simple contract which explains exactly what you do and what the client can expect and ask them to sign it. It's something you can point to if they demand their money back because you haven't 'delivered'. I asked the daughter if she was sure she wanted a reading, she just kind of shrugged and said "yeah" but the feeling was just there that she was annoyed with mom more than anything else. I've learned my lesson about doing readings privately, period. No ifs ands or buts about it.

The Reading experience thread was originally posted on 06 Apr 2005 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.