Reading for Bf/Gf or Love Interest: Bad or Good?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 24 Apr 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Fairawen	24 Apr 2005
I've gotten two seperate messags on this subject. Some people say, "It's bad to do a reading for your love interest (or bf/gf) unless it's a relashionship spread. Others say it's a good thing, because you get to know your partner more intimately. Saw this come up in another thread, and I thought it would be interesting to see your opinions. I myself have a boyfriend, but I have yet to try and read for him. So: Good or bad idea? ~Fairawen~

mike gorth	24 Apr 2005
I don't think it is bad. I mean, you don't need to use the tarot to get the same info as you would when you meditate. It might show you more than you can handle and can reveal to much of the mystery behind love. Personally, I'd do a reading if you're curious. I'm just looking ahead and saying that if you had revealed something that could completely change your view on the relationship, it might be bad but it can also be enlightening. It's really all your choice. Mike Gorth

Julien	24 Apr 2005
You know my gut reaction was: don't do it. Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. But, you see, I'm a commitment scaredy-cat, so too much intimacy too soon freaks me out, freaks me out, freaks me out... Get the idea? ;) So, my more reasonable side thinks it might depend (oh, there's a word I like to use a lot). How long have you been together? I think if you do a reading too soon it could be really damaging to something that is really good. And also, what question is it and how does he react to the possibility that you might see things he's not ready for you to know? And are you ready to know whatever is in the spread? Seriously -- too much information too soon is not a good thing, especially if it sneaks up on you (or pops out of a spread). (Scaredy Cat coming out again). I think it's just too hard to balance emotionally... On the other hand, if you're both comfortable, it's a question you're ready to know the answer to and he's ready to have you know the answer to, then... Why not? Just my very humble opinion on a topic I am really so not an expert on. Julien

Formicida	24 Apr 2005
I've done it. Would like to do it more often, in fact, but he's rarely interested. To me, a tarot reading is a very intimate thing, and I'm happiest reading for someone I'm very close to (starting with myself and moving outward!) I think it's easier to get more meaning out of the cards when you have a deep connection to the person to start with. But I think Julien is right in saying it depends on how long you've been together and how intimate you really are. If you still have things to hide from each other, or topics you've avoided discussing, then the reading could get really uncomfortable really fast.

Gwynne	24 Apr 2005
I have done readings for my husband, but I tend to way over-analyze him and it drives him nuts. My clients love it, but hubby hates it. So I don't read for him anymore. That and one of the last times I read for him, we used my Housewives Tarot and he bent the Two of Cups. And I mean bent, right in half! I tend to be the "Omens around every corner" type. The reading? It was about where to go in our marriage...

Fairawen	24 Apr 2005
*lol* Ok, you probably were a bit frightened over that bending of the two of cups... :P Thanks for the insight. I suppose it really depends on the relashionship. ~Fairawen~

Gwynne	24 Apr 2005
Fairawen wrote: *lol* Ok, you probably were a bit frightened over that bending of the two of cups... :P Thanks for the insight. I suppose it really depends on the relashionship. ~Fairawen~ Angry was more like it :lol: I'd only had the deck for two days!!! My Housewives and he ruined it! But he bought me a new one :D

Fairawen	24 Apr 2005
HA! Ok, well that's good. Bought you a whole new deck for one card. Nice guy ya got there!!! ~Fairawen~

Gwynne	24 Apr 2005
Fairawen wrote: HA! Ok, well that's good. Bought you a whole new deck for one card. Nice guy ya got there!!! ~Fairawen~ Not so sure nice would be the right word :lol: He knew if he didn't replace it he'd never hear the end of it!

Fairawen	24 Apr 2005
Alright, well... that too. A man knows not to cross an angry woman who has lost her two of cups card. :P ~Fairawen~

deranged_walrus	25 Apr 2005
We were in the Smithsonian, waiting for a friend to finish taking notes on the exhibit. He was falling asleep because he'd just gotten off duty (he's in the military) and I wanted to keep him awake. He'd seen all the decks and books in my room, plus heard me talking about tarot. Only once has he seen me with a deck in my hand, in his room when I wanted to show him the Death card because of something he had said. So, I shuffled the cards as I listened to him talk about his life before we met. When he stopped, I did, and asked him to pick a card. We were on a bench, so I couldn't really put down a spread. But he drew cards, I'd tell him what it said, and eventually he'd picked 12. So I wrote them down and looked at them, and basically just gave him a reading like that. Found a story with those cards. The interesting thing was that he picked my significator first, followed by his mother's, then his. I guess it was unfair that he had no idea what I was doing and was just listening to me create something from colourful cards. But after he drew the nine of swords plus another card, I put the deck aside and asked him what was wrong concerning xxxx (privacy issues). He looked so startled, didn't even ask how I KNEW, and just told me everything. It was a learning experience for me, finding out what he panics over and worries about to the point where he can't eat or sleep. It definitely helped our relationship (as of yesterday it's been 6 months) because it was getting pretty shaky at that time. After I learned what was wrong, it made me back off and stop pressuring him, plus it let him know that he could trust me to help him. I wouldn't recommend it for everyone. I'd say take it case-by-case. Trust your instinct...it's what you use to read the cards!

Fairawen	25 Apr 2005
Wow. That's cool. :) Sorry, just had to say that. ~Fairawen~

tarotbear	25 Apr 2005
In Tarot you should never ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer. It's a hell of lot easier when you read for someone else to couch your terminology or put a spin on what you see to deliver the message but soften the blow. It's really easy for you to tell the querent 'Oh, Mary! DROP this guy!' What happens when the querent is the reader ... ? If you do a reading for your relationship and the cards indicate it's splitsville ... what will you do? Say the cards don't know what they are talking about? Blame the shuffling? Say the cards are wrong? You have two choices: shut your mouth and don't tell your boyfriend, or take the deck and ask the cards what you can or can't do to improve the relationship. IMHO - there are times it is best NOT to pick up your deck ...

The Reading for Bf/Gf or Love Interest: Bad or Good? thread was originally posted on 24 Apr 2005 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.