How do you answer if someone asks how long will I live?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 15 May 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Ace	15 May 2005
I was working with High School seniors last night (17-18 yr olds) and two of them asked how long will they live! If they ask that out loud, I can head it off by saying (truthfully) that I can't know, unless something is set up right now that will kill them, it isn't close enough for us to discuss it in the cards. One didn't tell me what he was asking, and the cards pulled said things about you have so much to do, you had better get busy. (He first said it didn't answer his question, when I said What was it? and he told me, I showed him how it DID answer it: by saying it can't happen yet, he had too many goals to reach to worry about that.) The other asked if he might die young. I told him that if it said yes, I would look for ways to avoid that fate. He agreed and pulled the Ace of Cups! So I said, you might, if you don't balance living hard and fast and taking care of yourself. Have you ever tried to answer that question? It came to me to ask because of Helvetica's painfully sad thread about her Mom's friend and also SilentBreeze's thread about painful outcomes. The outcome I still insist is what COULD (or maybe not) happen if you don't change, not what WILL happen. Ace

TarotGirlJess	15 May 2005
first I have never had to answer that question.. second. ity sounds like you are reading proffesionally (somewhat?) since I'm sure yu don't cram everyone into one room can you perhaps make a list of what the tarot can't answer and what it does do and put this somewhere in the waiting area? ie) Tarot is based on what happens if you make a decision.. you make how many decions in a day as do other people.. everything is possible.. some are probable. say mr ex wakes up today and decides to take a walk. this can be a good thing.. however here is mr. Z mr Z has to decided wether to have that extra drink.. or reach down to grab something he dropped. if he grabs it he hits Mr. x. Perhaps as you start you can ask the querant.. how many decisions did you have to make just getting up and dressed this am? oh.. wether to hit the snooze,, shower or not, what shirt/pants ect.. ok so you made a lot of desicions today. if you had decided to not take a shower would that have effected your day? maybe by how others responded to your smell? ok good... every choice you make opens new possibilities.. nothing is certain until YOU step on that path.. Just a thought.. or a sign that says "tarot can only show you the possibilities.. wether you meet them or run from them is up to you" hope that helps..

Fudugazi	15 May 2005
Oh Lord, Ace, that reminds me of my nephew! A while ago he asked me to do a reading - he wanted to know if he was going to die. I explained everyone is going to die one day but he, please G-d, would not die for many many years (I have to explain my nephew is interested in the subject of death). So then he asked - is he going to have an accident and die. Well, he's my 8-year old nephew, so I could say no, I wouldn't read for that kind of thing. But I saw he wasn't satisfied. So I suggested we look at how he may live long. He drew two cards - both aces: Ace of Coins and Ace of Cups. Take care of your body and of your emotions and soul...and let them open up and teach you what they want you to know in this life. Well, it's not as fun as an accident, but I think he saw something because he was happy. (Or course an alternative interpretation might be - make money and drink plenty!!)

ros	15 May 2005
I always tell people that I don't do those kind of readings. I don't want to learn this about the cards or give that kind of information to anyone if I knew. So I don't know, I don't tell & it's easier on me!

wandking	15 May 2005
This issue becomes especially important in areas (like Alabama) where a general misconception exists about Tarot. I think I'd try to clear up the seekers' misconception about the possibility that Tarot, or for that matter, ANYTHING can predict a fluid, ever-changing concept like the future. I would, however, add that Tarot imagery helps us analyze feelings we have about death or the future, which will certainly relieve tension in the present. I might also suggests that the images assist us in temporarily setting aside immediate concerns to take a long hard look at others in our lives and then adjust our responses to them accordingly; thus taking an active role in creating a more positive future. With this approach, a reader avoids most traps, responsibilities or stereotyping that the uninformed public attaches to Tarot, even in very conservative settings. Positions in the Celtic Cross do indeed deal with the future and certainly possess an ability to predict it, if self-fulfilling prophecy has a hand in the outcome. Does anyone want the responsibility of inducing self-fullilling prophecy in a client when a dismal card falls in outcome? Perhaps "near future" shows the way a client subconsciously perceives the future; based on choices already apparent in other spread positions.

tarotbear	15 May 2005
First of all, I usually start off somewhere mentioning that I don't do readings about pregnancy or death ... like that will head them off! Second of all, most people ask 'Am I going to die?' and the answer is YES - we are all going to die ... sometime. These questions does not just 'pop out' of nowhere. People who ask this question are looking for an answer - they feel their life is worthless, they lost a close friend and are afraid it can happen to them, they know they are living too close to the edge, etc. If someone were to come to me and ask me to do a reading for them and then blurt out "How long am I going to live?' that is a different question from asking 'When am I going to die?' which implies that they have death concerns, a morbid fear, or are thinking of making it happen. Yes, people who are interested in knowing 'how long' they are going to live can twist this idea around really corkscrewed and may actually be considering committing suicide. If a teenager came to me and asked how long they have to live, it's a tough call. I know a palm reader who gets asked this question all the time by teenagers, and quite truthfully, young people have short lifelines in their hands - that doesn't mean they are going to die soon! You might have to ask a few questions of the querent yourself - What do you want to know how long you have to live? Are you afraid of dying? Are you afraid of living? Are there other concerns the querent really has and this is a 'mask' question? We all have our morbid moments - hey - I just turned (OHMIGODDESS!) 50! There are days when things got so bad after I lost my partner of ten years that I entertained joining him. My parents are 81, and somedays I don't see how I will ever be able to live that long. What happens after my parents die? This list goes on and on and sometimes you start asking how much longer you will have to endure this incarnation. People, teenagers especially, see themselves as 'junk' adrift in a world that doesn't care for them or care about them. Do a reading to find out their 'real' concerns.

Phoenix Rising	15 May 2005
I remember having a tarot reading with a very experienced reader(30years) and she did say that I would live a very long life, and no doubt about that. So that was comforting to hear. I don't know what card indicated that though. I guess it would be just safer to say with a question like that. Is that we have pre-destined times of death, but it is always our free will, that determines when you will die. Because we can always guarantee one thing in life, and that's we will die eventually. Preferably later!!! I love life too much.

Rosanne	15 May 2005
People, teenagers especially, see themselves as 'junk' adrift in a world that doesn't care for them or care about them. Do a reading to find out their 'real' concerns.[/quote] I think Querents ask these questions for two reasons and the first one is that they believe the cards can answer that, secondly they want to talk about it outside their circle of friends and family. TarotBears advice is good, but if you feel it is a more specific feeling you get i.e Suicide feelings; try explaining your own relationship with your Cards indicates approaching someone with different skills to help them sort out their feelings. I always tell people that I appreciated their honesty and trust in me, but I am not a specialist in that area, and would be doing them a disservice to pretend otherwise. ~Rosanne

Chronata	15 May 2005
Post deleted by Chronata

Kiama	16 May 2005
I refuse to answer such questions. My philosophy doesn't have room for such predictions (I think there are too many variables to be able to see that far in the future for starters, and I'll only predict a death if it comes up in the cards without being asked for.) So, when a querent asks me this I'll simply show them the way a Tarot deck is made up, and say that there is no physical way I could use the cards to predict a number of years... they can predict up to 22 maybe, but beyond that...? I usually explain to them beforehand what my reading style is - intuitive, not exact and calculated. If they want predictions of numbers and years, then they are free to go elsewhere to somebody who can give such things. I can't. Mybe that makes me a lesser reader? Who knows. I just know that it's not something suited to my way of reading. Kiama

Ace	16 May 2005
To try to answer all of you at once is difficult. Thank you for your responses, first off. This was at a party, a High School Prom to be exact! I always make it clear that the future ends HERE and NOW, so all I can see is the pattern that may come, not what will happen. I didn't want to ask him to ask outloud, sometimes that takes too long for them to give me TOO much information and it can skew the reading. So I only know he asked because of discussing it afterward. TarotGirlJess, that is a good explaination of why looking up the Askashic record looks worse than we want: that is what will happen unless we make all the decisions that come between now and later. All those decisions no matter how minor, make the future better as we draw closer to it. TarotBear: I think that is very wise. We are all going to die. Helvetica posted a few days ago about someone close to her family getting basically a death sentence: inoperable cancer. But that doesn't mean she dies RIGHT NOW . It does mean one must figure out a complicated dance of how do I hold it off for a while and what do I do to prepare for it? Kids IMHO, ask about when they will die because they aren't sure it will ever happen. Some have lost relatives but they don't count (they think): they were OLD or did drugs or something. Will I have to think about death too? They are curious and I took the question seriously, as I do all readings (even the Bar Mitzvah kids that ask about sex!) but I am glad we agree: the answer to this question is not a date. One thing too: I think these kids were testing me a bit. "Wow, I heard about foretuntellers. Can you REALLY see the future?" I don't mind at all. But it gives me a chance to explain about the difference between finding information out there in the universe for them and predicting. Ace

Fudugazi	16 May 2005
I've been thinking about this question. While I understand (and share) the reluctance of many to say - you will die in a year in a car crash, or - you will contract cancer when you're 71 and die two years later - I wonder why it is that readers (and I count myself among them) are so reluctant to discuss the whole issue of death. Life and death is the very stuff of - life! And if we subscribe to the idea that a human being is part of the biological cycle of life-death-life, then what have we to worry about? After death comes more life, no? - unless we succeed in killing this planet for good (and then there are probably other planets). Why is the subject so categorically rejected? Is it not unhealthy to do so? So many have said - I refuse to answer such a question. Well, I refuse to say WHEN someone might die - but ought I to refuse to discuss the person's death altogether? After all, as Tarotbear says, people ask questions for a reason. This goes too for disease, I believe. Without trying to play at doctor, we can admit that disease is as much a part of life as marriage or work, and acknowledge that some querents will want to discuss it - theirs or their loved ones'. Maybe if we find ourselves saying - I won't discuss such a subject, we should not only ask ourselves - why does he want to know?; but also: why do I refuse to go there? Ace - thanks for your explanation and analysis: very lucid!

Nina*	16 May 2005
I agree with you Sophie... we certainly should talk about death as this is a major issue for a lot of people. But of course only if people ask for it... Personally I could not say anything about 'when' from a tarot-reading either. I think that at least requires an astrologer (don't know if they can tell but they do tell more about time...). xxx Nina

tarotbear	16 May 2005
It gets catagorically rejected because we do not want the 'information' to be used against us in the future. {You told me my sonofoabitchin' cheating slimeball husband was gonna die in two years and the bastard is still alive! -- that sort of thing....} We also do not want to become someone's 'self-fulfilling prophecy' in which we become the reason they give up all hope because we said they will die within the next five years and they are still alive and kickin ten years later... and upset that they didn't 'die on schedule' ...

Nina*	16 May 2005
Of course. I understand that. But that is not a reason not to talk about death generally... (about the fact that we are all going to die, whats after death, are we afraid of it, what would we like to do in life before dying etc..).

Kiama	16 May 2005
Helvetica: Personally, if I see a death in the cards, I'll say it. (If I'm really certain.) However, I see a difference between being able to see a death that the cards have thrown out (e.g. in a question about the next 6 months, ill health, pain, loss, despair, and endings comes up in, say, the health section of a reading) but I don't think I can say HOW somebody is going to die or WHEN. I'm not a psychic, and I don't read by numbers. I also get annoyed when people spout what I consider to be the usual drivel about the Death card: "Oh, but it doesn't mean physical death, only endings." Okay, it doesn't mean physical death in all circumstances, but we've got cards for birth, love, creation, loss... why not death too? We all die. But I also won't answer questions such as "How many children will I have?" or "When will my daughter get married?" so I don't see my refusal to not answer a death-question as not dealing with death at all. I just don't deal in numbers and exact predictions. I'm sure many people are different to me though, and approach reading in a different way. Kiama

Fudugazi	16 May 2005
tarotbear wrote: It gets catagorically rejected because we do not want the 'information' to be used against us in the future. [...] We also do not want to become someone's 'self-fulfilling prophecy' That's why we don't say WHEN. But death is a fact we ought not to be so shy of. It worries me that I am. Not you? Sorry Tarotbear, Kiama - was I not clear enough in my post? I didn't mean to say we should be saying "you'll die on the 5th September 2013" or even "you'll die of cancer". But in the context of Ace's question - how do we deal with a question about death? I don't think it's good enough to brush it away even if we won't say when or how. Kiama - yes, I agree with you about the foreseeable future - and the cards that show death (not only the death card!)

Bev	16 May 2005
I haven't read for anyone in quite a while, but when I did, I always prefaced the reading with an explanation of exactly what I was going to do and what I was not going to do. I would start by asking what they hoped to get out of the reading. Then I would basically make sure they were aware that I don't do the tall dark stranger predictions, in fact I don't do predictions. I show people their potentials. I may see an indication that the most wonderful job in the world awaits them, but it's still up to them to go and get it. Just because the cards say the job is waiting in the wings, doesn't mean the it is going to come looking for the employee to fill it. Likewise, I do not predict life expectancy for more or less the same reason. I cannot see the results of the actions of every person they encounter, or germs they could be exposed to during the course of a lifetime. Supposing I could determine that my client had the potential to live to a ripe old age, this does not mean they can take a nap on the railroad tracks and expect to survive. And that is basically the analogy I used so I have never had anyone ask me if the cards say how long they would live. Bev

Tarot Sparrow	16 May 2005
I wouldn't attempt to answer that question. Tarot isn't science, that's what I'd tell them. You can't accurately predict things like that, because timelines usually don't work with tarot. The question would have to be rephrased somehow...

Sillanza	17 May 2005
If someone asks me when/where specifics of their death, I simply answer that I don't recommend looking to the tarot for those kinds of answers. I also gently remind them that the tarot often doesn't tell you what you want to know, but rather what you need to know. I have done readings that predicted death, but in both cases it wasn't the question asked in the reading.

Emeraldgirl	17 May 2005
Depends on how serious they are. If they are serious I gently explain that it is not something that I can see in the cards but I can see things to watch out for healthwise. If they are being stupid and joking around it would probably be something like " Ask me again and find out can garuntee it won't be long }) " I have ver little patience for those sort of people :)

jayde	17 May 2005
This reminds me of a similar experience I had. A very close relative of mine is having marriage problems - it isn't a secret. He also is very panicked about money matters. He's always worried he's running out of money - even if he's not. When he learnt that I practiced Tarot, he would beg for readings once every few months (at the peak of his "addiction," it was once a month!), and he always asked the same 2 questions: How is my financial situation? Can I ever find love? Both questions made me uncomfortable and after trying to do a reading for him, I finally had to put my foot down and say I could not answer the second question for him. Besides, the tarots always answered the same thing for both questions, every time he asked. I had to tell him that the tarot cards said if he was unhappy with his life, he must stop trying to masquarade around his problems and face them. He never did want to actually face his problems. He wanted a "quick and easy" answer, and he thought the Tarot cards could provide it for him. I wonder if he expected the tarot cards to tell him which stocks to invest in or something! ;) Anyway, my point is, if it makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't do the reading. Intense emotions, such as discomfort, will cloud the reading anyway. And, I've noticed that tarot cards, themselves, try to skirt really intense questions like "when am I going to die?" the one time I was asked that, the tarot card said not to worry about death. Worry about life. :P

mythos	17 May 2005
I always start with my 'the future isn't set in concrete' rave, and that I see a reading as an opportunity to see what you have set in motion, and how you can either change it (if you don't like what's going on), handle it ... if it's a biggie (e.g. Tower) or nurture it - if it's good stuff. I describe myself as a tarot cousellor - not reader ... I am an ex-psychologist and social worker by profession. If someone persists, I tell them about a seance I attended when I was 20 in which I was told that I would die on the 27 of April 1979 - and that obviously I am still here... and about a shonky astrologist whom I met in India in 1999 who said that I would die at 84. Maybe I might, who knows, but I did actually die briefly (a few minutes) in 2000, and he didn't predict that. So ... no ... I don't predict death. I usually then (if they remain unconvinced), I talk to them about self-fulfilling prophecies ... and if they continue to persist ... I refuse to read for them. mythos PS: I don't mention that I was in a Death Card year, in the year that I literally died ... nor that I was travelling the planet having karmic clean-up meetings all over the place ... and had a couple of close-calls (bus crash - gored by a Sacred cow)... too much information and encouragement sez I!

Ace	17 May 2005
Kiama wrote: Helvetica: Personally, if I see a death in the cards, I'll say it. (If I'm really certain.) However, I see a difference between being able to see a death that the cards have thrown out (e.g. in a question about the next 6 months, ill health, pain, loss, despair, and endings comes up in, say, the health section of a reading) but I don't think I can say HOW somebody is going to die or WHEN. I'm not a psychic, and I don't read by numbers. I also get annoyed when people spout what I consider to be the usual drivel about the Death card: "Oh, but it doesn't mean physical death , only endings." Okay, it doesn't mean physical death in all circumstances, but we've got cards for birth, love, creation, loss... why not death too? We all die. But I also won't answer questions such as "How many children will I have?" or "When will my daughter get married?" so I don't see my refusal to not answer a death-question as not dealing with death at all. I just don't deal in numbers and exact predictions. I'm sure many people are different to me though, and approach reading in a different way. Kiama I agree with most of your stuff. People ask all the time "how many children will I Have?" so I do a Richard Webster (much as I DETEST THAT MAN!) and look at their baby line (the vertical lines under the picky) and count them (they freak out at 6 or 8!) and tell them it is still up to them how many they eventually have. As for the "When will my daughter get married?" I look at the daughter and see if she even WANTS to get married now. Sometime the answer to that one is, "Back off, Mom!" The next thing is "you will die in a car accident two years from now." (NO, Kiama, you didn't mention that but it goes with this.) You can't see what the future WILL be (IMHO) but you can see that there are problems. And maybe suggest (via more cards) ways OUT of this situtation. So they DON'T Die, but instead take a driver refresher course. So, yes the Death card CAN mean (and for me, has meant) Death. (I did a thread about these in the past.) But in most readings it DOESN'T. So I look at it clearly and if it does mean death, I would figure out why it does. the cards are not literal-usually, but they do try to tell us something. If it is there, what is it telling us THIS TIME? Finally, I am a psychic reader, and I don't deal in numbers either! The only time I can tell how many kids do I have? is after they have had them! then I usually see 3-4 baby lines (sometimes less and more) and I am usually right. Ace

psychic sue	18 May 2005
I'd just say, "sorry, I can't tell you that - the cards don't predict such things" and leave it at that.

Kiama	18 May 2005
Helvetica wrote: Sorry Tarotbear, Kiama - was I not clear enough in my post? I didn't mean to say we should be saying "you'll die on the 5th September 2013" or even "you'll die of cancer". But in the context of Ace's question - how do we deal with a question about death? I don't think it's good enough to brush it away even if we won't say when or how. Ah, yes, I see what you're saying now. Maybe I was a little brusque in my post when I say I simply refuse to answer the question. In reality, if somebody is asking, seriously, "When will I dies?" there is some fear behind it that needs to be addressed. Depending on what that fear is, I might to a reading for them - for instance, somebody feared they were 'on their way out' and were worried they would leave behind their family and their family wouldn't be able to cope without them. So I did a reading instead based on that, looking at the family situation, and ways it could be improved. This relieved the person's fear a lot, and there was no question afterwards about when they were going to die. If, however, the person's reason for the question is a medical one, e.g. they've found a problem, then that is something I am not qualified to give advice on, other than advise them to go see a doctor, and maybe give an advice reading on ways that will help the healing process along (ALONGSIDE whatever treatments a doctor will give them.) Ace: Yes, I agree with you. I also believe that what we see in the cards doesn't HAVE to happen - it will only happen if we do certain things in the present, and we have choice in the present. However, sometimes I've done readings where the actions from the past have put something into action which could not be stopped - because we aren't entirely in control of the world around us. Some things we can't change. We CAN learn to cope with them though, learn from them, and make the most of them, so that's what I'd focus on in a reading like that. However, I dsiagree slightly that the cards don't usually come up as literal - I have often seen them as this. Especially for readings about everyday life, and jobs! With a reading about emotions or spiritually, they tend to speak in the language of the issue - in metaphors and concepts- but in everday issues they do the same - in literal interpretations sometimes. But I have never seen the Death card on its own as predicting death - Death is just an ending, and I don't know what that ending is of until I check the other cards. Blessings, Kiama

The How do you answer if someone asks how long will I live? thread was originally posted on 15 May 2005 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.