I think I need inspiration.

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 19 Jun 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Citrin	19 Jun 2005
I'm having doubts lately... How do I know that I got what it takes to read the cards accurately? I've always gotten tired of my "hobbies", and I feel like my readings could be so much better! How do I know that my intuition is working well, and I'm not just saying obvious things... "There's a person on this card who has nightmares. You should try getting more sleep, and you'll feel better!" etc etc... What I'm trying to say is that I'm worried I might just be tricking myself and others with this. Can anyone relate? How did you handle this? I don't want to feel disappointed with my hmm ability, the cards, and such...

mythos	19 Jun 2005
I live in a perpetual state of doubt, and what if's? I lived in it as a social worker, a psychotherapist, a healer ... hell, even as an office worker. Every painting is a torture, every word I write a birth, and every reading I do an event that I explore afterwards and think (too much) about afterwards searching and exploring all the other possible ways I could have interpreted the cards. So, what you are experiencing is not unusual. Doubt doesn't necessarily equate with things like low-self esteem or lack of confidence. For me ,who is healthily self-esteemed and confident, it is an indicator of that realisation that I am forever learning, and always will be life time after life time. I am not perfect, therefore my readings will never be perfect. I don't know it all ... and if I ever become so ego-inflated that I think I do, someone smack he across the head please .... by and large people seem satisfied with my readings, and more ... even if I'm not! Doubt can be very healthy if it pushes you to explore more, learn more, not just about tarot as a reading tool, but about yourself ... it only becomes a problem when you let it bury you and your tarot reading, and makes you shove your decks into the back of a drawer somewhere to gather dust and stops you from taking this this wonderful tarot adventure, which, like all adventures is often painful as well. Stick with it.

Grizabella	19 Jun 2005
For me, I think branching out from just the basics means letting my eyes prompt me somewhat. Instead of looking at the Empress and automatically thinking of the standard meaning, I might go with something I notice in the card that reminds me of something else. Not searching to find it----just letting what my eyes land on first take me there. For instance, one day I looked at the Empress and the pattern on her dress seemed to look like slices of watermelon to me. I know it's pomegranites (at least in the Universal Waite) but it struck me on first glance that they looked like watermelon slices. Instead of going with the standard meaning of the Empress, the watermelon might indicate to me summertime or a picnic or something else that watermelon is associated with. If it were a reading where the question was "when" something would happen, then to me that would say summertime. Now, watermelon is also associated with an old adage about pregnancy, too, and the Empress idicates fertility, so that goes along. I don't know if I've explained myself well, but that's how I branched out more into intuitive reading of the cards and it works extremely well. Much better than just memorised meanings of the cards. When you look at a card, if something strikes you, go with it instead of just sticking with the memorised meaning. It's kind of like figuring out a puzzle and figuring out how it would fit into the puzzle made by question combined with the meaning of the card in its designated position.

Citrin	20 Jun 2005
Thank you for the replies! :) mythos: You're so right. I've noticed that when I get these doubts they usually pass when I do some readings that take me further. A while ago a friend on the Internet had been shoplifting, and she felt guilty and bad. I decided to draw a few cards from the Rock Art Tarot, and guess what shows up? A card with the keyword "Thief". I had been doubtful, but that made me go "whoa". I guess I just get these low periods, and then I do an accurate reading and it gets better... But you're right, I always work harder to sort of prove myself when in doubt, so yes, it can be a good thing... Lyric: I try to do that too. I started out learning the, so called, basic meanings, and then I started to work with my intuition. Since I got away a little from my in-grown-keywords my readings have gotten clearer. I'm probably a little too insecure for my own best sometimes. I claim anyone can learn tarot, but then I walk around wondering if it's not for me...;)

Pipistrelle	20 Jun 2005
I have a terrible habit of analysing the readings I've done to death afterwards. It seems to take about half an hour after I've finished a reading for this to kick it - i.e. after the initial feelings of "wow, that felt so right!" have worn off ;) I start thinking about all the other interpretations that could have been right and logically they make sense and I start to wonder if I just read what I wanted to read. However, the only way to deal with this I find - as I'll never know whether I'm right or not - is to trust the feeling I have when I'm actually reading. When a reading is working and the different meanings are interacting and weaving and falling into place and telling a story, it's like being in the zone. And it feels right at the time. So it must be right at the time. Like everything else in life, we can only trust what feels right at the time - otherwise we'll never get anything done! :) All those other interpretations I come up with afterwards, well, they didn't occur to me *at the time*. They are just my brain trying to second guess itself. Just my thoughts - hope they made sense :) Pip

Marina	20 Jun 2005
Pipistrelle wrote: I have a terrible habit of analysing the readings I've done to death afterwards. It seems to take about half an hour after I've finished a reading for this to kick it - i.e. after the initial feelings of "wow, that felt so right!" have worn off ;) I start thinking about all the other interpretations that could have been right and logically they make sense and I start to wonder if I just read what I wanted to read. ... Just my thoughts - hope they made sense :) Pip Oh, i'm JUST like you. I think after a reading if i read it right...if i didn't say something stupid...i analyze, think and analyze a bit more. I almost go insane! My problem is that i have low confidence, and that's what keeps me from reading to strangers - i'm afraid of reading the cards 'wrong'. Afraid of making mistakes. And while i am reading, i already start to over-analyze "am i doing this right? er...this isn't making sense! oh no, i'm reading it all wrong! damn it, what does this card mean really? ...crap! :mad:" I am one who has to start being calmer when reading for others...to allow my intuition to work more. I'm too rational sometimes, and too afraid of making mistakes. Mistakes are part of the life, aren't them? I need to become more confident about my abilities too..that's the hardest part! You'll only learn to do accurate readings...doing reading. Some just on the spot, some kinda bleh, but it's all part of the learning path ;) ~Yuko

Citrin	20 Jun 2005
I'm the same! It doesn't matter who I read for, afterwards my thoughts drive me insane hehe. "Oh my, all those cups and I didn't tell her that it can be X and Y... Nooo I forgot to say that the twos mean bla bla..." But deep down I do agree that the first impression is the right one! That first spark of intuition in my readings always turn out the most accurate and helpful. :)

wizzle	20 Jun 2005
sheesh, know the feeling and yesterday i was the client...why didn't i tell myself i'd be getting my stuff from amazon today? would have saved a whole night of fussing.

SunChariot	20 Jun 2005
Citrin wrote: I'm having doubts lately... How do I know that I got what it takes to read the cards accurately? I've always gotten tired of my "hobbies", and I feel like my readings could be so much better! How do I know that my intuition is working well, and I'm not just saying obvious things... "There's a person on this card who has nightmares. You should try getting more sleep, and you'll feel better!" etc etc... What I'm trying to say is that I'm worried I might just be tricking myself and others with this. Can anyone relate? How did you handle this? I don't want to feel disappointed with my hmm ability, the cards, and such... Tarot is a lifelong learning experience. There is no state of perfection that any of us reaches. Your readings will get progressively better the more you practise and the more you learn. You will be better a year from now than you are now. You will be better 2 years from now than you will be next year.....It's a progression. The way you will tell if you readings are accurate is if they come true in the future. Or if you are reading for someone else and that what you saw is exactly what they were thinking. The way to learn to trust is from seeing yourself succeed. A lot of success comes from trial and error, you need to expect that. We learn from our mistakes and correct them and eventually find what works best for us. Yes, you have the power to do it. You just have to listen to your intuition and follow it. The more often you see it being right, the more you will trust it. This also takes time. :-) For me it's also a matter of trusting the process, not just yourself. In thinking of where you think the answers come from (for me G-d/the universe) and believing that he/it wants to help you find solutions, understands the way you think, and is sending you answers in the way that you will most easily understand them. BTW, I read intuitively. And the most useful piece of info I got when I was starting Tarot said that it is very normal when you are reading intuitively to feel like you are making things up...(Like what you said in your post about " a person getting more sleep"...). It is normal to feel that way because you are bringing things up from your unconscious that your unconscious mind is not aware of. So it seems to your conscious mind that they are coming out of nowhere, which is not necessarily the case. And if you tire of it, so what? Tarot is about following your instincts. If you feel tired of it that's your instincts telling you you need to put it away. It doesn't need to be permanent. You can pick up the cards again whenever it feels right to you. And my last advice for the night, if you feel unsure try just reading for yourself and working on improving what you think needs it before you read for others. It may be a bit soon for you to read for others yet, until you feel more sure of your powers. All that being said, I wish you all the best always with your Tarot.:-) Bar.

Citrin	21 Jun 2005
Thank you, SunChariot, what a lovely post. :) The thing is that I can read pretty well for myself a lot of times, but I just feel blocked when I read for others. I just can't find the right words when I do it. Perhaps I should practice more, talk to my stuffed animals... Someone suggested that here if I remember correctly. Good idea, to me.:) I agree with you, I need to take it slow, and trust myself. I have gotten better with WHEN to read at least. I used to 'force' myself to read every night/morning, now I do it whenever I truly feel like it. Be it 10 times one day, or 0 times one week... It works better, absolutely. Thank you, your post inspired me tons.

SunChariot	21 Jun 2005
Citrin wrote: Thank you, SunChariot, what a lovely post. :) The thing is that I can read pretty well for myself a lot of times, but I just feel blocked when I read for others. I just can't find the right words when I do it. Perhaps I should practice more, talk to my stuffed animals... Someone suggested that here if I remember correctly. Good idea, to me.:) I agree with you, I need to take it slow, and trust myself. I have gotten better with WHEN to read at least. I used to 'force' myself to read every night/morning, now I do it whenever I truly feel like it. Be it 10 times one day, or 0 times one week... It works better, absolutely. Thank you, your post inspired me tons. I'm so happy, I really am.:-) Congratulations on realizing that readings work better for you when you are in the mood to do them. :-) That sounds like some wisdom you have learnt from your Tarot right there. :-) I know I had to learn that too, along the way. I'm proud of you! And if you want to have a spiritual experience (and Tarot is that) you can't force it. If you force yourself when you are not in the mood, you will feel stressed and of course it will not work as well. Not to mention it could make you hate Tarot. It is not meant to be work, but play. Tarot should always be a source of joy in your life and a connection to beauty and the infinite. The cards do teach us about ourselves and our needs, in ways unrelated to the questions we ask as well. Did you ever stop to examine why you feel you need to read for others at all? You don't have to you know. If you don't feel comfortable doing it, don't. If your needs ever change in the future and if feels right to you , then do it then. I still say Tarot is about following your instincts. Do what feels right, avoid what doesn't. And yes, take your time. It takes time to accumulate wisdom, it's not an overnight process. Personally, I read only for myself . I use Tarot as a means for inner growth and connection. It is not a selfish act as it helps me feel more whole and then I have more to give to others, and Tarot makes me feel more connected to them and to want to help even more. No one ever said you had to read for others. But most of all just follow what feels right for you. Just more of my opinions....:-) Bar

Citrin	22 Jun 2005
Yeah, I think I'm gonna do less face to face-readings, they make me more insecure I've noticed. My intention when I began working with cards was to only read for myself, but people started asking so I just went along. I'm definitely going to think more about it now, if I feel ready for a reading when someone asks me or if I should just say 'no'...

ricardozen	22 Jun 2005
Learning to say no is a powerfull weapon. When i started to give readings, about 8 or 9 years ago, i was overwelmed with work. Sometimes i had 10 hours straight of readings. Learning to say no was a must have skill for me. I think all readers are insecure on some point. We simply find a way to deal with it. My way is a very simple one. The very first thing i ask the querrant is what does she/he knows about tarot. Then i state that i'm doing my interpretation of the cards and i'm only human. So it is possible that i make mistakes. There, imediate calm. Now they know. Now it's not a secret that i am human. Let's throw a spread. This work for me, obviously may not work for anyone else. Just my two cents :D Cheers, Zen

zhahmi	22 Jun 2005
Insecurity is a way of life... so is learning. Tarot aside, if you look at everything else in your life, are you perfect at it? I suffer from OCD, so non-perfection is very difficult for me to live with. But somehow I find when working with my cards, the journey is more exciting than the perfect end result. Don't give up faith.. I don't think that it will ever click all at once. We just need to realize when something does click and build on that. Light and learning, Zhahmi

SunChariot	22 Jun 2005
Citrin wrote: Yeah, I think I'm gonna do less face to face-readings, they make me more insecure I've noticed. My intention when I began working with cards was to only read for myself, but people started asking so I just went along. I'm definitely going to think more about it now, if I feel ready for a reading when someone asks me or if I should just say 'no'... To me, and I know we all see it differently, I really feel the asnwers as coming from G-d. And it always seemed to me that people would do better learning to use Tarot themselves and asking G-d what his plans for them were than to do it through an intermediary. To me it is a deeply spiritual experience. It never made sense to me to read for someone else. Like asking someone to pray for you, when it would be more heartfelt coming from you. In the beginning I thought I would not read for others, but then someone begged me once at work. I tried it that time, but it scared her half to death. I think he eyes were spinning. LOL I tried over and over to explain how there are no bad cards, but she was not buying into it. So I just knew I did not want to go through that again. I don't know that I feel insecure but I do feel for me it is a wrong path. I did do a reading once though for a member here, that I heard went very well. So I MAY read again for someone one day, if it were someone who was already a Tarot reader and understood Tarot. And if I could do it at home and e-mail it to them. But the face to face thing is really not for me either. I hated it. Again, listen to and respect your instincts/your "gut" feelings. They are coming from your unconscious and it knows what is right for you. If you get a queasy feeling in your stomack at the thought of doing something (even a slight one) and I don't mean caused by fear, but a feeling of aversion to something, listen. That is your inner wisdom telling you it is not right for you. Bar

Citrin	22 Jun 2005
ricardozen: I like that! Might try it. I always feel like everyone expects me to be an expert or something... SunChariot: Tarot IS very spiritual to me, but I must say that I don't believe in a god. :) I do believe in some kind of soul/spirit world though, and I feel that it wants to help which makes me feel better. I've never felt like the answers (especially about future) come only from me, but from the whole universe and the parts of me that work together with it. All this talking about tarot and readings... I feel like pulling out my decks now. :D

SunChariot	22 Jun 2005
Citrin wrote: ricardozen: I like that! Might try it. I always feel like everyone expects me to be an expert or something... SunChariot: Tarot IS very spiritual to me, but I must say that I don't believe in a god. :) I do believe in some kind of soul/spirit world though, and I feel that it wants to help which makes me feel better. I've never felt like the answers (especially about future) come only from me, but from the whole universe and the parts of me that work together with it. All this talking about tarot and readings... I feel like pulling out my decks now. :D I'm going to pull one of my decks out tonight too (probably Madame Endora's Fortune Cards). I got an e-mail this week from an old boyfriend from about 25 years ago, who found my website and e-mail... I have been living with my current boyfreind 16 years now. I'm not sure what to do with the other....try to be friends...?I don't know what to say to him at all...SO CONFUSED! If that sounds like a strange situation that is the second time too that this has happened to me. LOL They keep coming out of the woodwork decades later when you least expect it. LOL Time to pull out the cards tonight.LOL Bar

Citrin	22 Jun 2005
You never know when you need your cards. :D

.::Cerridwen::.	23 Jun 2005
Despite the original question being posted for someone else, just wanted to say What good advice! I'm just starting out with tarot and I'm excited and overwhelmed at the same time. I'm afraid I won't be able to make use of it once I learn... but as someone else said here, it's a neverending process of learning. That is what has me excited the most! There is SO much I can learn about tarot other then just how to read the cards. =)

SunChariot	23 Jun 2005
.::Cerridwen::. wrote: Despite the original question being posted for someone else, just wanted to say What good advice! I'm just starting out with tarot and I'm excited and overwhelmed at the same time. I'm afraid I won't be able to make use of it once I learn... but as someone else said here, it's a neverending process of learning. That is what has me excited the most! There is SO much I can learn about tarot other then just how to read the cards. =) It is not just the cards themselves and Tarot that is neverending. But the lessons they teach you about life, your purpose in life, your connection to it all... Tarot teaches us much much more than just the answers to the questions we ask. The very process of doing a reading shows you the beauful synchronicities and magic in our every day lives. It teaches patience when you do a reading on the future and have to wait to see if it comes true. It gives you strenght and power to change your future and shows you the power you have inside to make your life anything you want it to be. The images and mythology of the cards can send us off to learn more about the mythology they encompass, which in turn teaches us more about life. Readings spark curiousity about other things which change us in countless beautiful ways. Sometimes Tarot is just the first step. I have also been working on learning the pendulum. And am now learning Runes which I adore every bit as much as Tarot, and I will try the I-Ching sometime in the near future. Each system is full to overflowing with universal wisdom. And Tarot was what made me curious about the others. It is a nevereneding learning experience about what it means to be human and the beauty of it. Not to mention a great problem solving technique and way to understand your hidden unconscious motives. Almost makes me cringe to think of how different my life would be if I had not found Tarot. The world seems more beautiful than it used to, and it has only been a bit over a year since I found it.LOL Bar

kittenann	25 Jun 2005
I think the best way to deal with worry over your skill at reading is to do email sessions. Let the sitter email you with the question, do your shuffle and spread and then spend as much time as you need to going over the reading. This way you can take notes, be pressure free while you study the cards and you can even sleep on it and reply the next day. This way you can feel comfortable with the reading you are about to send back. I've always found that face to face reading can be stressful for someone just starting out, since your sitter will intently watch every move you make, and you might feel pressure to be to quick.

The I think I need inspiration. thread was originally posted on 19 Jun 2005 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.