Finding out the sex of a baby

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 26 Mar 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Butterfly	26 Mar 2002
Next week we're booked in for the ultrasound of our baby ( called Moopsie, for ease!). We've decided to find out the sex of it, scary stuff. It's only about 85% accurate, but still a pretty good indication. With Tiana, we didn't find out if she was a boy or a girl until birth. Though to be truthful I was 100% sure she was a girl anyway- funny how you just know. This time around neither my husband or I have a feeling if it's a boy or girl. There are definately fors and againsts about finding out. not knowing is wonderful and exciting, helps you through labour and is said by some to be more natural. Finding out is more practical, easier to bond with. I'll also be prepared if it's not the sex i would secretly like. Naughty me tried with the cards. First card a lion, second a page- obviously no help! Just curious- did you find out? How did it affect you? Would you find out. I'd love to know.

jade	26 Mar 2002
i found out with my last two babies. i loved knowing. with my first i thought boy boy boy. i even bought all blue stuff..........and then oops, it's a girl! LOL i was sooo thrilled cause i really wanted a girl. :) with my second i wanted to know so that (as a single mom) i could take my time during my pregnancy to get everything i needed. and with my third, i knew she was a girl before i even got pregnant.......but during my pregnancy we needed an emergency ultra-sound and when i was referring to the baby as she......the tech asked if i knew that for sure and i told her i just 'knew' it and she asked if i wanted a confirmation......i said yes and she said, you are right! i loved knowing. and the moment i found out........was just as magical as if i had waited :) i was thrilled and excited! in light, jade

Kiama	27 Mar 2002
I would want to know. Mainly cuz its practical, and also cuz I love choosing names. I'll name anything, even plants, but I need time to think of the perfect name... If I know what the baby's gonna be before it comes out, I'll be able to focus on either boy or girl names, depending. (Secretly, I want mostly girls, but I suppose I'd better have a boy to kep the boyf happy.... ;) ) I think its much easier to buy stuff slowly throughout the pregnancy, instead of all towards the end or when you have it. It doesn't feel as though you're spending that much money, and therefore it feels safer. Its also much easier to buy stuff if you know the baby's gender. Anyway, I've got a long time until that comes along for me (Hopefully!) I reckon I'll wait til I'm about 26/27. (Kiama's got it all planned out, y'see?!) Kiama

Bings	27 Mar 2002
With my first pregnancy I had an ultra-sound. When asked if I wanted to know the sex I said no. I felt deep down at that point that I was having a boy. But I liked the excitement of not knowing. I remember as a small child snooping through the house a week before Christmas and finding all my presants. Oh, it was great fun at the time, but then on Christmas morning there were no suprises. The excitement wasn't there because I already knew what all the packages were. My first baby was a boy. My instincts where right. With my next two pregnancies the doctor I had only did ultra-sounds if he thought there was a medical reason for them. Sense both those pregnancies were normal I didn't have one. With baby number 2 the doctor, the midwife and I all predicted a girl. We were all right. Baby number 3 I carried just like baby number 1. The whole pregnancy was very similar to my first. We were really surprised when I had another girl!!! But it was that surprise ending that I enjoyed so much and made it that much more memorable for us. Dianne

Emily	27 Mar 2002
When I went for my first ultra-sound, I asked if the midwife could tell me the sex of the baby but she said it was the policy of the hospital not to say. I didn't ask again through my other scans, but I thought I was carrying a boy. Then a week before I should have had the baby I started having problems and was admitted to hospital, I was scanned by a male doctor I didn't know and he said my little boy ( :) ) was turned round and ready to be borne lol So I went through the birth knowing that I was carrying my son :) I didn't tell my husband I'd known I was having a boy until after the birth, I thought it would be a nice suprise because he wanted a son, I just wanted a healthy baby lol

Kissa	27 Mar 2002
I wanted to know if we were having a boy or a girl and was really disappointed when the doctor didn't seem ready to tell it. The doctor was doing all kind of measurements and watching that all the vital organs were ok and I was just trying to watch between the legs ;) ! At the end of the ultrasound, it was obvious that the doctor didn't want to say what she saw if she had seen something (at 12 weeks of pregnancy, it can be hard to see). I was really disappointed and angry for one day. The next day, I remember waking up and thinking all differently. After all, I wanted to make things as natural as possible so I was just going to live my pregnancy the way generations of women did before me ! I must confess that I kind of knew from the beginning that I was having a girl and sometime around the mid-pregnancy, I dreamed I gave birth and said that "here it is, our little girl is born". So I was sure it was a girl. And it was ;) If I ever get pregnant again, which I wish, I would like not to know. I think it is part of accepting Nature and her mysteries. I find it ultimately beautiful to love above all someone whose sex, looks and name you don't know. Of course, baby boys sometimes don't let you the choice of not knowing that they are boys ;) Have a wonderful pregnancy, Butterfly ! Kissa aka Karen or vice versa

Kiama	27 Mar 2002
Why do some hospitals have a policy of not telling you what sex the baby is, whilst others give you the option? Kiama

jade	27 Mar 2002
because some people abort a girl to get a boy. in light, jade

Butterfly	27 Mar 2002
I'd bet it was a legal thing. They are only about 85% accurate. We are now not allowed to get videos of the ultrasound in Queensland, though it is ok in other states because it is a medico-legal minefield. ultrasounds are a routine part of every pregnancy in Australia, required as part of the prenatal hospital care. They occur around the 18th - 20th week, so all of the parts are definately formed. Apparently girls are every bit as easy to spot as boys, but they have to definately identify one or the other before they will tell you. Great to hear everyone's stories and opinions. Kiama I had my first baby at 27. In some ways it's a wonderful age- you're young, but not too young. You've completed uni (in theory) and will have built up a bit of a career. But on average in Aus. average age is about 32-35. No matter what, it's a blip to your career, and leads to a heap of soulsearching. But as I was getting older I was getting set in my ways, I don't know how a baby would have fitted in. I was going to be 29, but Tiana had other plans. I was on the pill, freshly engaged, 27 year old ambitious shop a holic. thank heavens those antibiotics interacted with the pill. Best accident that ever happened! I had my whole life planned almost to the the day- she wasn't supposed to happen for 2.7 years!! But I'm so glad she did.

Kiama	28 Mar 2002
Jade: Is it possible to find out what the hospital's policy is, before you choose which one to go to? Butterfly: Ah! You're scaring me! I use the Pill as contraception, and I will be until I want a baby... *Kiama prays under her breath* Please no accidents.. Please no accidents... Please no accidents. Actually, I think one thing I'm afraid of is suddenly finding out I'm carrying an unplanned baby. Especally if I'm young. I probably won't be finishing a PhD until I'm 26, or if I just do an Ma until I'm 22. I then want to teach, and have a career, and a baby at that time really wouldn't go down too well. But I'd love the baby, and I wouldn't be resentful. If have backup career plans for parenthood! *Kiama's got it all planned out again!* Kiama "Wanna know how to make the Gods laugh? Tell them your plans." -Wish I knew!

Malachite	28 Mar 2002
Just to balance out all this female energy... I think, if i ever become a father, it would be more practical to know, but it would kinda take the (fun) out of it...magic/mystery might be a better phrase there... on the other hand, if my partner (godsbless her generous soul, whoever she is...) didn't want to know, i don't think i could face knowing and not saying, so I guess I'd definetly wait... If I was a mother myself? Truth to tell, I have no idea...

Bella	28 Mar 2002
Congrats on your pregnancy Butterfly! During the ultrasound, you need to go with what you feel is right at that moment. Go with your gut, either way is really ok! I knew very early on that I was having a girl. I just felt it. Plus, her dad had a dream about flowers, and in my family that dream means a girl is coming (a cross for boys, I don't know why, but the dreams are always accurate!) When I had the sonogram I wanted to know. (I think I just wanted to prove myself right!) It made things like decorating her room and buying clothes easier. Also, in a way i think we bonded more closely during the pregnancy because I was referring to her by name and talking to her as "my little girl." Kiama: Sorry to tell you this, but I was using birth control too, so my daughter was an unplanned. Frankly, the pregnancy couldn't have happened at a "worse" time, but...I am so glad that it did, my daughter is a blessing that changed my life in so many positive ways I couldn't begin to tell you. It was her time to "be", so actually it was the "best" time!!

Liliana	28 Mar 2002
My girls were both accidents sort of, but not really since I was married and not using protection. Neither me or my husband finished University when I got pregnant, infact it was 1 inaseries of a large number of problems during that time period,and led to 3 years of Hell except for her (and her sister conceived during this time). But now my husbandis back in the University and should be graduating in 2 years, then we'll move so he can go to grad school, once both kids are in kindergarten I get to go back to Univerity :) As for protection,now i have these little sticks implanted in my arm that are supposed to keep me protected 5 years, after wich I need to go in for an oil change lol. I think Im going to have them replaced at least once, Id kind of like to have a boy at some point but for now no more please lol

Diana	28 Mar 2002
Butterfly, there are for and againsts on this subject, and I'm sure what your instinct tells you to do is right. But I just wanted to say that I love your temporary name "Moopsie" :) I'm so excited to hear that you're going to have another kid, and send lots of hugs to you and hubby and Tiana. When my friends give birth to their babies, I always make a point of bringing a small gift to the older brothers and sisters, to celebrate their new status. They need that little bit of extra attention.

jade	28 Mar 2002
kiama, birth control pills AND a condom gives you almost 100% protection!!! :) in light, jade ps an i think that it is seldom here in canada that you can find out the sex of the baby....i don't know about anywhere else. i knew the tech who did my ultrasound with my son and then i was 34 weeks when the tech confirmed that we were having a girl......too late to 'selectively abort' malachite, i love that you brought a male prospective to this thread. thanks :)

Liliana	28 Mar 2002
oh i wanted to say i also found out thesex of both of my girls before they were born, made buying stuff easier.The first girl we knew the name right away because my husbands parents always wanted a girl and ever had one so we named her what they would of named their girl,plus my family middle name, amd asecond middle name after a friend who was born the same day she was. My second daughter we named spontaneously in the hospital room with a first and middle name we just liked (tho the middle name is a female form of one of our male friends names, so its kind of after him) and the second middle name was after my husbands mother. We kind of started a tradition of giving our kids a second middle name thats after someone else we know :)

lunar_rabbit	28 Mar 2002
We found out the sex of our baby via ultrasound when I was about 20 weeks pregant. It was an intimate, magical moment when she said "Looks like you're having a girl"... I cried! DH almost did, too. I'm sure we would have done the same thing if they said it was a boy. I loved knowing. It usually happens right around that time anyhow (the quickening), but I felt so much more connected to the baby when I could say "she" instead of "it". As far as "knowing" before that. I had a dream it was a girl.... but then 2 weeks later I had a dream it was a boy. Some help that was! LOL. I'll definitely find out next time, too, if I can.

Kissa	28 Mar 2002
Definitely a cultural difference ! Here in Finland and I suppose in other nordic countries, it is not an habit to say during ultrasounds if you are having a boy or a girl and I think it has nothing to do with "selective abortions" as the life standard here is high and you get important financial help from the government/city etc. In fact you don't even need to buy much for the first month or two as you get a huge "maternity packet" worth 500€ with all kind of stuff for the baby in it (underwears, clothes, socks, blanket, sheet, etc.). The clothes in the packet are always nice "neutral" colors such as green, yellow, violet. Kissa

sarahenglish	28 Mar 2002
I did both. My first was a surprise, a Girl My second I found out about 2 months before he was born. I thought it would take away the excitement, but I was wrong. The best way to describe it is that I knew who was coming to the party and I couldn't wait to meet him! If I was there, I would do the ring test for you. I have only been wrong once and it was because I didnt take my time. SE

amyel	28 Mar 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Butterfly Next week we're booked in for the ultrasound of our baby ( called Moopsie, for ease!). I think it's cute how babies all receive "pre-birth" nicknames. My sister went from calling her baby "Pee-wee" to "She-Wee" when they found out the sex of the baby. Sometimes we still refer to her as "She-Wee", as well as the gizzillion other nicknames she has. My brother's baby was referred to as "B.B." for Baby B------ until he was born and they blessed us with his name.

nexyjo	30 Mar 2002
i've decided that should i ever be involved in the hugely unlikely act of creating or raising a human life, i will let the child tell me what her sex is. based on my own experiences, i've found that arbitrarily assigning a child's sex based solely on her external "parts", can lead to a lifetime of turmoil and pain... luv and light, nexy

Kiama	31 Mar 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Bella Kiama: Sorry to tell you this, but I was using birth control too, so my daughter was an unplanned. *Kiama is sad and worried* I know the Pill's only 99% effective, but lately I've been heaing from loads of women who got pregnant on it! I'm really worried, esp. since I'm allergic to any type of condom (Even non-latex ones) and the Pill is really my only saftey net... :eek: Kima

jade	31 Mar 2002
kiama, trust in the goddess. it doesn't really matter how much birth control you have, if a baby wants to be born, it will be. my son was born with sooo much birth control in place it should have stopped him. for month's before we used almost nothing for birth control but then we were breaking up so i didn't want to take any chances..............his dad and i broke up and 3 weeks later..........i found out that i was pregnant! i have a friend that never used any birth control because she believed that she was infertile. her boyfriend had a baby with two other women and she never got pregnant. they broke up and she met jack. the FIRST time they slept together she got pregnant and has 5 kids now!!! those babies were just waiting for him to be their daddy. so i'm certainly not saying that you should be careless............use the pill and trust the goddess to act in your greatest good. in light, jade :D ps i hope that brings you some comfort and not more stress, love.

The Finding out the sex of a baby thread was originally posted on 26 Mar 2002 in the Chat board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Chat, or read more archived threads.