New kitten , advice?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 12 Mar 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

purplelady	12 Mar 2002
Well , we got a kitten recently. I've had her for a little over a month. I Think she is about 3 months old. She's Sooooooooooo sweet and cute! And I Love her! But she Can be pretty hyper and obnoxious on occasion. I thought maybe someone with more experience with kittens would have some sage advice? I do not remember my other cat being this hyper and aggressive! For instance , today I was just lounging on the couch. I saw the kitty looking at me with that "I'm going to pounce on you!" look. Not one second later (from halfway across the room) she was ON my face and her teeth actually were biting my eyeball! Luckily my eyelid was closed. I mean , her teeth were ON my eye, biting, not hard enough to Really hurt me , but enough to scare me a little! She really bites a lot. Is this like a baby teething? I'm sure the pouncing and biting are natural cat activity! But...........maybe she thinks we are her brothers and sisiters! My boyfriend , who will whack her and reprimand her in a deeper voice, doesn't get bit , but she doesn't go to him nearly as often as she comes to me either. I'm really not sure how to effectively discipline her. You can't really spank a cat! Or what I should do to stop the sometimes constant biting? She really is a very sweet cat. She's spoilt rotten too!

truthsayer	12 Mar 2002
i can't find my most recent copy of cat fancy magazine but it has tips on how to discipline and train a kitten. behavior like what you describe is not something you want to encourage in anyway but nor is hitting a kitten appropriate. become a good mama cat. when you see the kitten up to mischief you don't want to see in a grown cat stare it in the eye and hisssssss! at it! ignoring inappropriate behaviors is good, too. if you don't want it stomping on your face at daybreak demanding breakfast, now is the time to get the boundaries clear--you are the top cat in the house and in charge while you still have enough clout to make a difference. the older they get the less your opinion matters and the more they realize that they are really in command! :p i highly recommend cat fancy magazine. they often have good tips on how to handle cat behavior probs. there is also a good book out on how to discipline and train your cat that i recently bought w/ some good tips. i can't find it right now(darn cat prob hid it) but i'll send the name to you when i can find it. channel some of that energy into scheduled playtimes and toys. mine love to explore rumpled paper bags and different sized boxes. the simplest things can be made into play toys like a hard ball of tin foil or a little rubber ball. some like squeeky toys or catnip mice. a bored kitten is a kitten who's into mischief. kittenproof your house like you would for a child. keep the comode lid down so kitty can't fall in--i'm serious! don't get it in the habit of eating table scraps or you won't eat another meal in peace--truth's school of never again w/ cats. avoid yarn and stringy things w/o your supervision. i've had cats that liked to eat plastic, christmas tinsel, or string. not a cheap diet b/c it could block her intestine and require surgery but at the very least an expensive vet trip. mine love this particular toy called "the bird". essentially its a stiff feather on a fishing pole and line but shorter. the feather makes interesting whistling noises as it whizzes thru the air. very exciting to a cat! another investment you definitely want to make is to get a good cardboard scratching post. i buy ones filled w/ catnip for around $4 or $5 a cheap investment when it comes to saving your legs and furniture. get her fixed as soon as she's old enough so you don't have to undergo "moonlight serenades" when you are trying to sleep or have unwanted kittens. as for your boyfriend, the next time he swats her hisssssssssssssss at him! hitting only creates aggression or timidity in cats and does more harm than good. it's a habit you definitely want to break him of before he hurts your kitty. she's too little to be spoiled yet. but if you don't channel that little tiger energy and set firm boundaries you'll have an adult cat w/ very bad habits. oh! i could tell you tales!!!!! i'm a dyed in the fur cat lover tho and can't imagine life w/o one.

jade	12 Mar 2002
a squirt bottle works wonders with training kittens. i never ever ever get one kitten alone. i always get them in two's that way they kick the shit out of each other instead of me. LOL they are still friendly and loving with me.........i have 6 cats right now :o jade

mooncat2	13 Mar 2002
Well, I adopted two adorable ginger kitties just before Xmas - to add to the five we already have. One is the cuddliest most adorable little fella you'd ever want to meet but his brother when he's not sucking his brothers ear - BITES. I wake in the night and he's nipping my nose , he attacks fingers, feet and faces whenever he gets a chance. I just give him a tap and say no but I don't know that I'm achieving much. He is a lot smaller than his brother so I'm guessing he missed out somewhere along the line and I try to be understanding. All this is not a great deal of help to you, I know but at least you know you are not alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

catlin	13 Mar 2002
Hi, Congrats to your new family member! Just try to throw a kity ball or other play toy when your kitty intends to use you as a playing thing. It willthen run after it and will leave you alone. It takes some time till your kitty has learnt what it may do and what not. You can educate a cat, not in the same way as a dog but cats usually know pretty well what behaviour is accepted and which not. You should not tolerate it getting in your face because what was cute behaviour from a little cat turns out to be not so nice when the cat is full grown. I've got 4 cats and my 6-year-old Benny is still pretty acitve so I usually offer him a playing hour when I come from work to make sure that he does not make a mess of the flat. Lucky is a 6-year-old Turkish Van and he sometimes gets a fit to play top cat with me but I then show him that I am the top cat usually by hissing at him or I say a sharp "No" when he tries to bully me. Sometimes I put him for 5 min. in the bathroom. It is worse for him to be separated from me and his fellow cats so this sets him right. I remember having read an article in a cat magazine where ppl were so terrorized by their cat that they were afraid of going in the flat as the cat had made a sport of attacking them! Pl keep us posted how things develop!

purplelady	14 Mar 2002
Oh heck! I wrote a big long reply and when I went to post it , my connection got cut off and I wasn't logged in so I lost the whole thing. Let's try again! mooncat , my kitten sounds just like your boy cat (except she's a girl) . She sees fingers or toes and bites, bites , bites. I've pulled her off me and tossed her and yell "NO" but it doesn't seem to work at all. She just comes right back for more. And I really don't feel comfortable hitting her , which doesn't seem to work either. She has a serious thing for biting! That is why I wonder if a kitten actually "teethes" like a baby? Jade , I have seen other people use a squirt bottle , but I never have . I just might resort to it though! Probubly another cat Would be good for her , and channel her boundless enthusiasm and energy! But that isn't an option. I already pay a deposit And a Monthly fee just to have her in this apartment. If I got another cat they'd want an even higher fee (everything is $$$, don't 'ya know). And besides, one cat really is enough for me.

purplelady	14 Mar 2002
Truthsayer , I hadn't thought of hissing at her! But I'll give it a try! I have hardly heard Her hiss at all! BTW , I did actually worry about her falling into the toilet! But she's gotten much bigger so I'm not too worried about that anymore! My last cat I bought scratching posts and catnip (dried) and I never could get her to use it or show any interest! Instead , she used my old LP collection for serious scratching , the wooden furniture , and the carpet! Finally I had her declawed , I'm ashamed to say. I desperately wanted and needed a new carpet and they promised me one IF I declawed the cat! Catlin, I guess I'm having problums teaching her what is acceptable. I guess they all have very distinct personalities . She will be laying there all snuggled up to my neck , sleeping or purring , suddenly there may be teeth closing in on my jugular. I'm serious! She has suddenly gone for my neck , or my cheek! But I'm her favorite person (Animals Love me!) . If I get up to leave the room she will be there instantly , following me , even to the bathroom , like a 2 year old child! She's the adorable spoilt sometimes obnoxious baby cat , and she Is already spoiled! As for table food . Uh oh! Too late! Every night I give her her own little plate on the floor (keeps her off the table!) ;) with a bite of our dinner , cut up for her! She does love to play with any kind of string . Here's one of her favorite toys SURE to amuse for Hours! : A windbreaker jacket hanging on a hook by the door with a drawstring to tie the bottom and a little plastic thingie to keep the drawstring from getting lost into the jacket. It dangles from the jacket and she jumps up and grabs it , and it swings to and fro for hours of kitty amusement!

purplelady	14 Mar 2002
Sometimes she gets so excited that she jumps and jumps up in the air and we can't fathom why, maybe she's seeing something we don't see?! I guess the main and only real problum is the biting. I don't seem to be able to effectively convey to her that Most of what she does is acceptable , but the biting isn't. It's almost as though it's so much a part of her that she can't understand What is it that she's done wrong? Us women Can read the expressions on a cat's face , didn't you know? With my old cat , if the cat food wasn't acceptable , I could tell by the way she looked at me!

purplelady	14 Mar 2002
p.s. I actually do send her to the bedroom alone and shut the door numerous times a day whether I want to eat a meal in peace or the biting gets intolerable.

purplelady	14 Mar 2002
And another thing , she insists on drinking out of everyone's water glass because didn't you know , people water is much better than water from the cat dish? It's most difficult keeping her out of my glass of water! If I turn my head for one second , she is sampling my water! That's gross , huh?!

Diana	14 Mar 2002
To show cats that they're not the boss, lift them by the scruff of their neck like their mothers do if they are not behaving in a respectable way . It doesn't hurt, and they find this very natural.

Scorpion	14 Mar 2002
Hi, Purplelady! Oh dear, sounds like this young lady definitely knows who is top cat! I used to have three cats and two of them came as kittens: in our house it was the other way round: I was boss and my dear departed partner was the softie - he used to sit there saying things like "no, you don't want to dangle off my feet really - ouch!" as they wrapped themselves round and bit in! I, on the other hand, used to have them all sat in a row waiting to receive their treats (and people say you can't do that with cats - oh yes, you can!) - to the point where they used to all rush into an obedient line if they heard the rustle of a crisp packet. There's a lot of good suggestions in there - I particuarly agree with Diana - picking her up by the scruff of her neck won't hurt her and will seem natural: she'll at least have to accept that you are a "cat" with some authority over her then. One of mine had spent some time in the wild fending for herself and she used to get a strange look in her eye at times and that was when she was ready to go! I used to pick her up by the scruff of her neck and gaze deeply and firmly into her eyes before putting her down and it generally worked (get the scruff bit right and they don't move - I got it wrong once when she was bigger and let go too soon: I've still got marks on my arm where she used her back feet on me as a launch pad!). If you don't feel this is working you could take it one step further - again, holding the scruff of her neck firmly (but as gently as possible, of course) pin her to the floor while kneeling over her (so she can't see you) and GROWL - it makes them feel they're on the losing end of a fight and is VERY effective. It does sound as if this young lady needs something to get rid of that excess energy! Shame you can't run to company for her. It is definitely bad news that she's into proper biting and I agree with the others that it is in your interests (and hers) that you get it under control now. Kittenish behaviour is cute but they don't stay kittens for long!

purplelady	14 Mar 2002
I Have picked her up by the scruff of her neck. I have wrestled her teeth off of me, grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and thrown her halfway across the room. She doesn't even care! She Just comes running back for more biting! She just gets so HYPER I guess it's All play to her? Maybe the cat has ADHD! just kidding! I haven't tried the hissing and growling yet. Guess I do need to stoop to her level , huh?! :p .

VGimlet	15 Mar 2002
Ohh, this sounds just like my Tink! She was an abandoned kitten we took in, and she has a thing for biting, more so than any other cat I've ever had. With all my other cats, I used a kind of progressive discipline when they bit, or clawed when they were young. First a firm no; then, if it kept up, a no accompanied by a tap on the offending paw or head (not a hit, a very light tap, like you would tap on a table-top). That almost always worked, without hurting them. I have used the scruff-hold a few times, for very important things. (No, you may NOT play with the lamp cord!) Tinkerbell (and yes, sometimes we do say her name with an s in front) dosn't care a bit. She thinks it means...we're playing a game, I need to bite HARDER. So I'm trying a new approach. Now, when she bites too hard, or the claws are a bit much I say "ow" in a loud voice, stop whatever we're doing, or make her get down, and ignore her for a few minutes. She hates that. It's going to take awhile to see if it works. Each cat is a bit different, but if it dosn't work, there are other things to try. She nibbles on the other cats (even while she's washing them) and even on the dogs. Sometimes you'll just walk by, and give her a pet, and..chomp. I read somewhere it was because some cats are more sensitive to being touched - when you go over their limit, it's a reflex. As long as your cat's not drawing blood, it's more of a warning, or playing, even if it does hurt. She also might need more exercise. We got one of those kitty fishing poles. 20 minutes with that, and Tink's pretty mellow - for awhile. And the squirt-bottle is great, too, especially when they're young. Water from nowhere is very disconcerting to a cat. LOL.

purplelady	15 Mar 2002
Thank you all so much for your help! Believe it or not , I think we're making progress and actually had a break through today ! For the last 5 days or so , I've noticed she is just difficult! I want to give her Love and attention. But it becomes impossible when Every encounter is a biting one! I mean Every time I touch her I am bit. No , it doesn't draw blood , but it Does hurt and becomes really annoying. Last night she was on me and she was just a ball of teeth and claws! It is sometimes difficult to even find the proper scruff of her neck . Well I grabbed the closest place I could find! I did hold her down best I could and hiss! Then this morning , it was bite , bite , bite , SO I found these little stuffed animal dogs , about her size , and everytime she bit me I shoved the stuffed animal in her mouth! I've decided that she NEEDS to learn that it is NOT o.k. to bite humans ever! As I've said it's difficult when Every encounter is a biting one , and she seems to not understand what it is she's doing wrong , though she does kind-of get that I am unhappy with her by the yelling! SO , Everytime I am bit I yell "NO" (doesn't work on it's own) AND shove the stuffed doggie in her mouth! And/or grab her by the scruff of the neck , hiss, and push her down!!! Also have tapped her on mouth (I'm afraid of hurting her she gets so wild). Also , I praised her Everytime she Didn't bite me (not that there ever Was a non-biting time up until now!) SO , if she sat on me for like 5 seconds without a bite , I praised her . Well , Something actually worked!!!! She quit biting!!! Now , my son is due home from school though, he's kind-of a softie and she bites him a lot. I'm going to tell him he needs to do what I did , and make it clear she cannot bite him . I don't know how this will go. We'll see! thanx!

catlin	18 Mar 2002
B/W it may also be possible that your kitty is losing the milk teeth and that may be why she bites! Maybe you should offer her a kind of plaything made out of corn stakl or sisal.

Diana	18 Mar 2002
Goodness, do cats have milk-teeth? Well, I've learnt my lesson for the day. I can now go back to bed. :)

kayne	19 Mar 2002
My cat, Morgan, loves water! When I have a shower in the morning he runs around my feet and occassionally sits at my feet with the water running on his head. He makes such a soggy mess all over the house when he finally decides he has had enough water and runs out! He also likes to curl up in the empty bathroom sink when water is dripping on him... A squirt bottle doesn't work on him!!! :D

truthsayer	19 Mar 2002
your kitten really does sound like she is easily over stimulated. the fact positive reinforcement worked may mean that you are overdoing the negative reinforcement. ignoring her unless she does something good may help. when she behaves give her a treat. cats love treats and postive reinforcement may work. since yelling and throwing her across the room seems to only reinforce negative behavior, i'd suggest you avoid showing her aggressive behavior like that. she may be interpreting your behavior to be threatening and that she needs to protect herself from you. that's why i said don't let your boyfriend hit her. i have a deaf cat who is pretty much blind, too. i've known about the deafness since he was a kitten but only recently the blindness. i've had such terrible behavior problems from him that i took him to the vet to have him euthenized. the vet refused to do it and instead gave me antidepressants to give him as a behavior therapy. well, it helped a lot and 10 years later he is still alive despite himself. i've since realized i have to try to see things from his point of view. how would i feel if i couldn't see or hear and giants kept doing strange things to me and strange cats and smells kept occuring that made me feel like i had to fight for my life all the time? i can't hit or hiss at him b/c that only confuses him more. shaking a finger when we can get into his vision right works and spraying water at him gets the hint across. i've learned that when he howls at night, the best to do is not get angry at him but take him in for a check-up. a few times he had a bladder infection and it was making him really cranky and hateful. then if something in the environment changes he gets upset so then we get tranquilizers for him. since i've learned to think like a deaf cat, i've found him to be a loving sweet pet. i can now understand that the behavior problems weren't his fault. he was trying to communicate w/ me in the only ways he knew how but i didn't speak his language. yesterday, i was picking up things off the floor and sunny walked up and grabbed my hair between his pairs and bit me on the scalp. i screamed in pain but of course he couldn't hear me. then i saw he was nuzzling affectionately at me. how could i discipline him? he thought he was showing me affection in a way only a cat could understand. he's bit me on the head and neck before like toms do to females while mating so i know that's his word for "i love you, mom" even tho it hurts! i don't know how to communicate "NO" in a meaningful way so i just guard my head and hair from him!!!! LOL sometimes you just have to do what you can to get along w/ the cat whether it makes sense to other ppl or not. i'm living proof.

purplelady	25 Mar 2002
"milk teeth" ? I'm not really sure what that is? I do feel that her biting is affectionate play , she's not trying to hurt me . She's actually Very loving and affectionate. It's just that she wants to "play" All the time! Or times when I'd really rather be left alone! Yes, she Still bites! How do I effectively "ignore " her when my feet are being attacked and chewed on and it's Really annoying me?! Or my face is suddenly pounced on and bit? Maybe I am overdoing the negative attention. But still , like I said , it's hard to pretend nothing is happening ! I do just put her in the other room by herself when I've had enough. I'm thinking she will grow out of most of it , I hope! She really does seem to have behaviors that are just like a human child always trying to demand attention from her parents! Truthsayer , your cat sounds sweet , I'm sure he's very lucky to have such an understanding "moma" as you! to speak his language!

truthsayer	25 Mar 2002
having a severely handicapped cat is a real challenge but it has taught me so much about unconditional love. i've also learned so much about seeing things from the perspective of all living beings. an cat w/ behavior problems is a difficult but w/ love and growing insight into yourself and your kitty, i think you both will make it. my sunny is so funny at times. he can't hear himself purr so he purrs like a locomotive w/o any sense of rhythmn. if you have ever been awakened by the rooster crow at dawn, you've experienced nothing until you've heard a deaf cat howl at the top of his lungs for breakfast. it doesn't sound like a normal cat howl. so i've learned that the sounds cat make to communicate are learned from other cats. if they don't hear that language they don't know how to speak it just like human being born deaf. i could write a book on him. in fact, it would be an interesting article to write for a cat fancy magazine. hhmmmmmmm...

Kissa	27 Mar 2002
Hi purplelady, First, I wouldn't yell at the kitty. Even if you are very angry with the biting. I wouldn't yell because cats like all animals don't like it, it is just an aggression to them and they cannot really calm down after being aggressed. Then, if your kitty is a little bit evil, she would do anything to get some attention and believe it or not, being yelled at is getting attention so why the heck would she stop doing something that is rewarded by your attention ? Don't forget that you are her new "mom" now, you are very imprtant to her, I guess you are the one who feeds her and cleans her sandbox so getting your attention is all such a young kitten wants. She wants to play with you all the time, that is normal : she is now learning all the things she will need when she gets older. She is learning how to be a hunter and hunters do bounce and jump and run around like lunatics, they bite hard and scratch. Usually, she would learn all this with her cat mom and siblings but without them around, she learns it with the ones who are now her family. I definitely agree with catlin that she might be teething. Even if the biting seems a play to her, it might be worsened by the fact she has sore gums and needs them to get a massage ! That's why I wouldn't be too hard on the kitty now, no yelling no throwing her across the room (they are breakable items, these kitties) so that you don't install now an aggressive atmosphere that she will still remember long after the teeth have come out and she is a much more cooler older cat. Honestly, I don't think there is anything exceptional with your kitty, they all are crazy lunatics at the beginning and as they grew older, they get calmer but remain weirdos ;) About the water ??? Well first, I have shared so many ice creams with cats and dogs that for some reason I don't feel so frightened by the idea of a cat drinking in my glass, especially if, as your kitty seems to be, it is an indoor cat. Second, you can check on any cat forums, there are numerous threads about "why can't cats drink out of THEIR water cup ?". And believe it or not, drinking out of one's glass is still very civilized compared to what you can read !!! Conclusion : don't let the kitten bite you, play with toys, toys are fun to bite, if she bites the toy she gets to play long, if she bites you : no playing anymore. She'll learn. Don't expect her to be as tender as an older cat, being tender and gentle interests kitties as much as toddlers : too much to do, too busy for that kind of stuff !!! Be patient, she might be putting your world upside down but think how hers is upside down too : she used to be with beings of her kind, who react like her and have common language, habits and instincts and now, all alone without her mom, she has to deal with us : mysterious bipedes who do mysterious things (like drinking out of glasses not CUPS !!!!) Keep cool, stay strong ! Karen aka Kissa, which still means Cat in finnish

The New kitten , advice? thread was originally posted on 12 Mar 2002 in the Chat board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Chat, or read more archived threads.