Self Abuse

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 21 Mar 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

aciddragon	21 Mar 2002
I been reading a few threads and some of the contexts made me think about this. I know for myself if I mess up I call my self dumb, or stupid or whatever...But when I hear someone else say it I tell them not to beat them selves up. I'm I strange like this or what. I mean I find it ok to do the self abuse to myself but it's not ok for a friend. (I've really got a lot better with not doing it in the past 2 months) The less I do the self abuse, the more I realize how much damage it can do it yourself. Anyway just some of my thoughts on it.

slinky_jo	21 Mar 2002
I'm always calling myself a dick. But I cannot abide being called a bitch - I have a real problem with that word! Call me stupid, call me daft, I dont care - just NEVER use the B word! But, like you, aciddragon, I get upset when others' put themselves down. It's a fact that bad "self talk" really does lead to lowered slef esteem...

jade	21 Mar 2002
i thnk that it is wonderful when we think highly of ourselves. i send us all hugs. (i know that i could use about a million right now) love jade

.dc	21 Mar 2002
DOH.. damned me be for not being the first to post a perky response. oh... bother, there i go again being negative. =) seriously, i agree... as a constant worrywort and a purveyor of self destruction i try (and continue to try) to not abuse myself anymore. i give credit where credit is due... in the first statemet above, the trickster came out and HAD TO PLAY. I was being silly... not real. blessed be, .dc

Silence Dogood	22 Mar 2002
Somehow, when I read the title 'Self Abuse', beating myself UP is not what came to mind! }> }>

Kiama	22 Mar 2002
Quote: Originally posted by jade (i know that i could use about a million right now) love jade I'll try my best to send you as many as I possibly can right now.... ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jade))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Wow, all the wavy lines....... Kiama

jade	22 Mar 2002
aahhhhhh kiama. i did a love spell to bring more of sweet, unconditional, gentle pure love into my life and look what i find this morning on this site........... you sending me love. you are too wonderful for words. love jade

Aeon	22 Mar 2002
I'm guessing your talking about the general do something wrong and go "dammit, I'm such an idiot" and forget about it. Not that you seriously deep down believe yourself to be stupid and worthless. I think everyone is guilty of that. I have a question though....I recently met a really sweet guy and there's just something about him that makes me want to pull him out of it. He seriously thinks he's stupid, worthless, living only to die, life has no meaning. He does say all these things, but he doesn't say them in a way that indicates he's looking for pity. He says them as a statement of fact. I honestly don't think this guy is a "pity whore". I'm sure a big part of it is the world he's immersed himself in (death metal music scene). He thinks he's the only one who ever felt stupid and worthless, no matter how much we tell him otherwise and give personal examples. I've never seen such apathy, not even in other 19 yr olds. How do you help a person like this? Should an effort even be extended to someone who doesn't see a problem? I realize you can't help those who can't/won't/don't want to help themselves, but there's just something about him that makes me want to. Any ideas/thoughts? Thanks Aeon

jade	22 Mar 2002
personally i don't rescue people. i have found, from numerous experiences, that people either want to be helped/healed/grow or they don't. i would try having a conversation with him and ask him if he wants to get out of this rut and then respect his answer. we are all exactly where we need to be at this exact moment in time. just because i may think that you need more (for example) clarity doesn't mean that you do. it means that for you to have a relationship with me, you need to be more clear. if you choose not to 'change/grow' then that is perfect and right for you. it doesn't make either one of us wrong......just different. but it also doesn't mean that i have to want you in my life either. and not wanting you to be a part of my life doesn't make me wrong. :) love jade

Aeon	25 Mar 2002
You're right. The only thing I'm going to do for this kid is pay more attention to how I'm projecting, be there for him if he wants help and enjoy his company while he'll share it with me. All along I've thought "I can't do anything for this kid he doesn't want for himself" but sometimes that "Mom's gotta save the world" instinct kicks in and I have to get a reality check . This must be a lesson in self-restraint LOL Thanks Jade Aeon

jade	25 Mar 2002
good luck :) love jade

The Self Abuse thread was originally posted on 21 Mar 2002 in the Chat board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Chat, or read more archived threads.