~ Relationships Online ~

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 18 Apr 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

kayne	18 Apr 2002
Hello Aeclecticans, I believe the internet is a great place to meet people, you can find out so much about them, their personalities, their interests, their humour etc. before even seeing them. You get to know them according to what they reveal to you, not what they look like... However, this can be dangerous too, afterall, all you know is what they reveal to you... there is always some mystery there... I was wondering if any of you have ever persued a relationship with someone you have met online... and then brought that relationship into the 'real world' by actually meeting them? :TLOVE

Kiama	18 Apr 2002
Well, I haven't yet, but I am hoping to meet you and Pollux next year! The good thing about the net today is that you have things like Wecams, where its a bit more difficult to lie to somebody about who you are... So I feel much confier with meeting you to over the net, now that I have see you... Kiama

catlin	18 Apr 2002
A former friend of mine did. She had met that guy somewhere on the net and then even met and tried to establish a relationship but that ended quite soon. My tarot circle started with a posting in a German tarot forum (the one of H. Banzhaf) and we are still meeting regularly once a month. Some of my e-mail contacts turned into pen pal (yep. that thingy still exists!) and we are still in touch.

Strange2	18 Apr 2002
I have an on-line success story to tell! I first met my wife through an online service called Match.com . We got to know each other via email for a few months, then by phone, then finally took that leap of faith and met in person. We've been happily married now for 3 and half years :TLOVE !

aeonx	18 Apr 2002
Strange2: I'm happy for you, that sounds great! *s* A friend of mine is happily together with a man she met in a chatroom a couple of years ago. The funny thing was that neither of them had been to one before, until the day the two of them met. Fate if you ask me... *s*

jade	18 Apr 2002
i have met many of my closest friends online............and most of them thru this site :) lots of like-minded open people here!!! in light, jade

funkpuss	18 Apr 2002
I love you I really do.........only joking! Well I meet one guy via a dating website a year ago, but that was just for a drink. I could tell that he was married with kids so I just told him where to get off. But saying that I meet my last boyfriend just by e-mailing as he knew someone that I worked with and I never thought that we would have things in common and I felt that it was just rubbish but we had a really GOOD time aprt from the friend who got us together wanted us to split up but that was just evil work on her side. Anyway I don't knock them. Most people just think it's just a sexual invite but time have changed and most people have computers and don't have the time or don't know where to meet like minded friends. I spent some time dating via ads and that's the same thing, you don't know who you could meet, but it can end in a love story as a few of my old friends did. But now I'm not looking for love online I'm just looking for JUST friendship and so far I've been e-mailing some really nice people that I would like to meet up with! But the only thing bad I can say apart from all the weird stuff is that sometimes the keyboard does stop you from having a 121 friendship and some people get addicted to all this cyber surfing and mailing. At the moment this is my social life!!!! But I would love to go out and see people. Yesterday was really good as I started my French course yet again and saw new faces. Funky

Liliana	18 Apr 2002
you just have to be careful, people arent always what they say online, and Im hurt that you didnt include me in the list of people you wantt omeet Kiama, even if it is unlikely ;) heheh

Malachite	18 Apr 2002
What a scary thought!... As it happens, I know two happy couples that met online, at the last forum I hung out on...a Yorkshire man who married a Texan lass after about 12months contact, and now lives with her in Montana; and a guy from Weston about 50mins away from me, who's moved out to Perth, Oz with the Love of his life... Actually, you may bump into him, Kayne...he's a stout fellow by the name of Chris...! *wondering how big Perth is...* Anyway...they seem to be getting along fine...and they are past the rl anniversary now, I should think...

Jenny-Li	18 Apr 2002
Does friendship count as an "online relationship"? In that case I can tell you these days I think I have more in common with people I've met online than I do with old friends from school and whatever... Honestly! There's this girl for example, I got to know here in two separate forums (one about spirituality, and one general meet-new-people-site) at the same time, and it took a LOOOOOONG time before either of us figured out that we were the same people, so to speak...! And we go along great IRL! :D I believe more in meeting people in forums like this, forums with a specific subject area, than in "dating forums", match-making sites etc. In places like this you meet on common ground, because you share an interest from the start, and that's where you start. I think it's more difficult if you start out with wanting to meet Mr Right, because then you end up with all these ideas of how you "should" be, if people are to like you, and that's when you start leaving things out, isn't it? Here I feel comfortable just being me, I don't feel I have to pretend to be anything, I let all my "newbie" thoughts and questions out, and share what little I have found so far, and I know were all in this together, regardless of who we are... And that's what I find so amazing!! :D Blessings to the Internet for getting us all together! :) *laugh* Love and light, Jenny :)

cricket	18 Apr 2002
Oh my... *LOL* Lots of my friendships started online. Never a 'romantic' relationship or anything... or not any that either one of us took seriously. Flirting, yes - serious, no. :) Two of my best friends actually live within driving distance for a day trip and I go see one or the other (they live in opposite directions) every once in a while. All three of us met online.

VmprGokuboi69	18 Apr 2002
I've had several... All of mine, but one turned out good. But the guy just later became an asshole... I actually fell in love with one of my bf's I met online... Which brings me to a small little other thread inside this one. I love this guy with all my heart... and everytime i seem to think about the happy and good times we had... it makes me depressed... I mean we are the best of friends now and everything.... but i just seem to get depressed... well he has a new bf and he doesn't really hang with any of his old friends anymore... all of his time is like devoted to his bf. I don't know... im just really depressed... and all...... i dunno.... guess ill go and do whutever... ~Danny

truthsayer	24 Apr 2002
i think i've met around 15 ppl in person that i met online. all have turned out okay so far--knock on a BIG piece of wood! it's interesting and fun but the most important thing is to meet in a public place and don't take off for his or her house the first day you meet b/c you can't count on your first impression being right. sometimes first impressions are right but i'm not willing to risk being wrong. i met most of the ppl at a conference for this online support group i'm in. there's something to be said for safety in numbers. it was a lot more comfortable than meeting a stranger alone and a wonderful sharing experience. there are lots of planned activities and sitting around chatting and laughing. we're all so used to each other's net name we can't even call each other by our birth name. we do it every year. i didn't get to go last year but maybe i will this year. i hope so! it'll be nice to see old faces and meet new ones. the world seems a smaller friendlier place when you know ppl all over the world. even if i don't get to meet someone in person phone calls and snail mail letters are a nice way to connect. i have more friends online than i do in the 3D world. it's just easier for me to meet ppl w/ common interests here. i know one couple who married soon after meeting online but i think they jumped into it too soon b/c they are seeing a marriage counselor now. both had recently separated from a spouse and were hungry for companionship. now they both realize that they didn't heal the wounds from the first relationship before they got reinvolved.

Bings	25 Apr 2002
Sense I have been married for 19 years I have never had a romantic relationship on line. But some of my dearest friends I have met over the internet. I actually got to meet quite a few of them last year at an internet reunion. It was great fun. These are people that I have been chatting with online for the past 6 years. So meeting in person was just a very natural next step. Last year was actually the forth year this reunion had been held. It all started when everyone started talking about meeting eachother. We decided it would be best done as a group. Safety in numbers. Dianne

fairyhedgehog	25 Apr 2002
I've met people IRL that I first met online. They are members of a bookclub where we discuss a book of the month (and other stuff), and one of them invited us all to her 12th Night party. Neil (my husband) and I went, but it was quite a long drive so it meant staying overnight and we were a little nervous. It's just what you're /not/ meant to do. We were ready to take off again at the first sign of anything weird. But there were two of us, and it was great. The couple we stayed with are wonderful people and we met up again with more bookworms for another weekend. We owe them an invite now - but our home is in a very grubby, tatty, and untidy state so I feel embarrassed to ask them to stay. (They have a lovely clean, tidy house.) But they are having another party soon and I don't want to be always taking from them, it isn't fair. I did have the chance to meet some pals from another group, but I declined. They were mostly blokes, and it was in a pub, and Neil was not willing to come. There was no way I'd meet up with them on my own. All the best, FH

Tarotbear 2	25 Apr 2002
Kayne- are you persuing finding a gay relationship via online? DON'T DO IT! My contribution to this thread is odd, so here goes. My husband's cousin's wife started an online relationship with a man across the country from her. It built up and she took a plane out to meet him. Me? I'd have changed the locks and called the lawyers and filed divorce prodceeding immediately since they had children and she was obviously abandoning them. he did not, figuring she would come back when she came back to her senses. She came back, divorced him instead, married the other guy, and moved him into the house with the children.

The ~ Relationships Online ~ thread was originally posted on 18 Apr 2002 in the Chat board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Chat, or read more archived threads.