Embarrassing moments...

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 18 Jul 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

wavebreaker	18 Jul 2002
A friend sent me this and I thought these were really funny. Anyone else have any embarrassing moments to share?? :D ______________ I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" --Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin, TX An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest. --Kathy Newman, 46,Winston-Salem, NC I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera! I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who worked at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls." My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. --Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me was screams of laughter. --Amy Richardson; Stafford, Virginia One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?" A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom!" she screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up."

catlin	18 Jul 2002
Hi tarotlady, ROFL, thanks for sharing with us! That was the right thing for a boring rainy day to cheer me up!

Sullanciri2002	18 Jul 2002
... I've been having a lousy week so far, and really needed a good laugh.

kelli	18 Jul 2002
thanks for the chuckle at the end of a very trying day.... Kelly

kayne	18 Jul 2002
LOL! Very funny :D Hmm... can I think of any stories as embarousing as these...? *Kayne blushes* nothing I want to share anyway... :P

Sam	18 Jul 2002
I am the embarrassing moments king! One time, I was letting my dog out, in nothing but my "unmentionables" and a night shirt, and I closed the door behind me. When my dog was done I triied to open the door. It was L-O-C-K-E-D! So for the next 15 minutes, I screamed, pounded, and banged my head, (among other objects) against the door. And when my dad FINALLY came out, I told him what had happened, and he said, "Oh, sorry. I thought you were pounding something with a hammer, and came ouyt to see why!" I tell ya, I was soooooooooooo pissed at him for the rest of that day!

Liliana	18 Jul 2002
Well, once at a grocery store they were giving out free little sample tubs of margarine, so I stuck it in the cart, and while I was looking to buy some lunch meat I heard laughter, here my daughter who was sitting in the cart had grabbed it and has begun eating it straight out of the tub, making a huge mess of herself. When I was in a play in gradeschool I got stuck on stage once cause I couldnt find th opening in the curtain But the best stuff my husband and his brothers did to his mother. Once his brother stuck a wide load sticker on his mothers butt in the store, my husband was a curious kid and unzipped a ladies dress who was in line in front of him and his mother, then there was one brother pushing another brother in a cart through the glass door of a freezer section hehe :THP

wavebreaker	18 Jul 2002
Ok, here's mine: as a kid, I once walked into a chemist's. Because there were people in front of me, I couldn't walk straight in so I had to wait by the door. I don't really know what happened next, only that I lost my balance, fell over to the left and ended up in the shop window! There I was, lying on the floor of the shop window, with make-up, perfumes and stuff all around me.... :D

Starfish	18 Jul 2002
5 years ago (my oldest was in kindergarten at the time), my child was asked by her teacher what she did last evening and she stated that she was playing in the family room with her twin brother and sister until Mommy and Daddy told her to leave the room because they had an movie to watch. What we had told her was that the movie was rated R and was for adults not kids. The teacher called me that afternoon and told me that she and the other teachers in the teachers lounge thought it was hysterical! My youngest has this same teacher starting in August for Kindergarten and she pulled me to the side the last day of school and asked (jokingly) if we still watched movies? Arrggghhh! Kids say the most embarassing things! Another thing was when I was working in my before kids life, we were at a fancy dinner party (I was in banking) and the CEO's wife came out of the restroom with the back of her dress tucked into her pantyhose - and she wore nothing under said hose other than her skin ;) What a hoot! You should have seen all of the pinched up, trying not to laugh-out-loud faces... :T3C Starfish

Faerie Lin	18 Jul 2002
LOL so many funny stories. I especially liked the "couldn't find the opening to the stage curtain" and the "Adult movies" hehehehe During the first couple of years of highschool, my friends and I rode the citybus alot. One day I was getting on the bus with my friend Keisha, she was behind me. Her BIG foot stepped on one of the heals of my shoe and my shoe went FLYING across the bus, it all hit a window and went bouncing... And I had the biggest hole in my sock, right at the big toe. I didn't know how to react, I just ran and got my shoe, put it back on.... The person that was sitting next to me on the bus was laughing the whole ride, he was trying to keep it in, but he was shaking too much, I knew he was laughing at me... God damn Keisha.... Lin

Faerie Lin	18 Jul 2002
oh and another citybus moment, I was on my way home from a summer intern job. It was HOT... Texas.... I sat down on the bus and right them I realized I sat in marker graffiti, all purple, melted.. I was wearing light beige shorts.... It was getting closer to my stop and the bus was emptying out.. so I was like... good! no one will see... but them these 2 cute guys hop on.... and then my stop arrives... I HAD to get up... right when I sat up... they busted out laughing at me.... I didn't show a reaction, wanted to be STRONG!!! lol Lin

Kiama	19 Jul 2002
I was at work today, and remembered a very embarrassing moment... I was wondering what everybody else's most embarrassing moments were? Go on, give us all a laugh! I don't get embarrassed to easily, but this time I was pretty red in the face.... I was at work, taking a customer's order for breakfast. Anyway, its 'procedure' where I work, that after you take the customer's order, you invite them to help themselves to the breakfast Buffet table, which has on it cereals, juices, grapefruit, fruit, yogurts, etc... Anyway, I had taken this one man's order, and I pointed to the buffet table, and I said to him... "Okay, just help yourself to the...." and suddenly I saw this absolutely HUGE black thing on the buffet table, and finihsed the previously polite sentence with... "What the f*** is THAT???!!!!!!!!" It was very funny, and it caused a bit of a stir. It turned out that the big black thing was a huge goddamn May Bug! he he he... Kiama Edited to say... Uh-oh! I posted this before I scrolled all the way down to find that Tarotlady had posted exactly the same topic! Great minds obviously think alike...

Liliana	19 Jul 2002
What about the vinegar Kiama? ;) hehe :THP

suzyspellbound	19 Jul 2002
They were soo funny tarot lady! you really cheered me up- if I think of one as funny i'll post it!

The Embarrassing moments... thread was originally posted on 18 Jul 2002 in the Chat board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Chat, or read more archived threads.