Forget Tarot! Bumomancy!

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 09 Jul 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Umbrae	09 Jul 2002
Cut and pasted from Yahoo, oddly enough, url at bottom (lol) of article. Blind Psychic Gropes Buttocks to See Future Tue Jul 9,11:55 AM ET By Nick Tattersall BERLIN (Reuters) – Forget palm-reading. A blind German psychic claimed Tuesday he could read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks. Clairvoyant Ulf Buck, 39, claims that people's backsides have lines like those on the palm of the hand, which can be read to reveal much about their character and destiny. "The bottom is much more intense -- it has a much stronger power of expression than the hand in my experience," Buck told Reuters. "It goes on developing throughout your life." By running his fingers along a number of lines on the surface of a client's posterior, he says he can tell them about their future monetary success, family life, health and happiness. He says lines representing success, career and artistic ability extend inwards from the outer extremities of the buttocks, while a further five lines radiate outwards. "I began on a circle of friends and the circle grew," Buck said. "I am not a new-age freak. I treat people with great care and conscientiousness." Buck, who lives in the northern village of Meldorf, northwest of Hamburg, says all types come to him to have their bottoms read. He sees his blindness as a great asset, not least because it means customers do not risk having their identities revealed. "All sorts come, from cleaning ladies and secretaries to prominent members of the community. For them, my being blind is an advantage because I can do it without recognizing them again in the future." Buck has been blind since the age of three. Although he claims to have spent many years training his fingers, with his index and middle fingers the most sensitive, Buck says even amateur buttock readers can make a broad-brush assessment of people's personalities. "An apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life," he said. "A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, patient and down-to-earth." He is quick to shoot down any suggestion that his buttock groping might be motivated by anything other than a genuine desire to probe people's futures. "I do not need to feel bottoms for my own pleasure. My wife is quite beautiful enough for me," he said. Buck is reluctant to speak about his successes, but says he correctly predicted an actress from a popular German soap-opera was going to write a book, and says a stockbroker has been using his services for over two years. "No stockbroker would keep asking a blind clairvoyant to tell them about future stock prices if they didn't believe I could to it," he said. Url now obsolete...here's one from ABC News.

AquarianGoddess	09 Jul 2002
Hey, whatever floats one's boat. I think it's kewl! AG

zorya	09 Jul 2002
!!!! future stock prices!!!! umbrae, you're not planning any trips are you? roflmao

La La	09 Jul 2002
That's a new one! Stars Birds Entrails cards stones sticks tea leaves palms heads why not bums? Don't sweat the petty things and pet the sweaty things

floracove	09 Jul 2002
Hee hee haa haaa haaa haa! haaaaaaaaaaaa! Oh my! Have we heard about everything now? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Butterfly	09 Jul 2002
Hmmm, i can think of a few persons futures i'd really like to tell this way. LOL. sure beats cardboard cards!

Liliana	10 Jul 2002
Who needs Tarot Sutra? Bend over baby, I want to tell your future ;) I dont think Id use it as a pick up line tho. Hey, I can tell your guture by feeling your bum, wanna know whats in your future? ;) :THP

january	10 Jul 2002
I guess we're all just sitting on our futures.

Umbrae	10 Jul 2002
My future's behind me!

jade	10 Jul 2002
umbrae ROFLMAO that is a bizarre story..........i can't imagine standing there with my pants down having some blind guy feeling my cheeks and actually being able to pay attention to my 'reading'.......i'ld be laughing tooooooooo hard at the weirdness of it all. LOL jade ps husband walks in....................."oh no honey, he's just giving me a reading".........i can imagine how THAT would fly LOL

jade	10 Jul 2002
Quote: Originally posted by floracove Hee hee haa haaa haaa haa! haaaaaaaaaaaa! Oh my! Have we heard about everything now? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! i bet penis reading is next.............way more 'lines' to read. LOL jade

WolfSpirit	10 Jul 2002
I think I have to shape up a bit to give my future a better chance. Don't want to miss the latest stockbroker's news because there's too much fat in the way ;) Oh why bother, a wise one already said my future is behind me.

purplelady	16 Jul 2002
****Laughing my Ass off! Thank-you Umbrae (I'm still rolling on the floor!) I haven't before heard of Bum-Reading but I did see a guy on Oprah who made it his life's work to Paint pictures of people's bottoms!**** move over, tarot cards!

catlin	17 Jul 2002
Hm, bum-reading, I wonder why I did not read about THAT in a German magazine. Ok, I do not read "Bild" and the like but maybe I should stick my nose more into rainbow press instead of tarot books ;) :P

jade	17 Jul 2002
of course i was corrected via pm.................if the penis is 'read' properly there shouldn't be many lines. heehee i have found this particular thread to lighten up my day soooo many times. thank you for posting it!!! in light, a joyful, jade

tigerlily	17 Jul 2002
I read it in a German magazine (not "Bild" btw, catlin...) - it's true - they even had a photo of this guy, doing his "reading" on the street, with a long line of people waiting to get their butts fingered. People never cease to amaze me.

wavebreaker	04 Aug 2002
I just watched a program on tv about all sorts of healers in Hollywood. One of them was Sylvester Stallone's mother, and she does something like this! She has people send her photocopies of their behinds so she can interpret them! Here's her website, in case you want yours done... :D

Strega	04 Aug 2002
Teehee! :D Interesting thread! :P :P :P

The Forget Tarot! Bumomancy! thread was originally posted on 09 Jul 2002 in the Chat board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Chat, or read more archived threads.