blowing your own horn

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 30 Aug 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

jade	30 Aug 2002
so i have a question for everyone here. i believe that, without going overboard of course, that blowing your own horn is a really good thing. i had a teacher in 12th grade that told me, "if you don't let people and possible employers know what your strengths and amazing qualities are......then how are they to know?" now obviously, she was talking about first impressions where you may not get a second......but i think this applies to all relationships. if i don't tell people that i am good at what i do, that i love it and that i can do this, this, this, and this.............then how will they know? how will i be able to further my career if i don't get the word out there. obviously there is excess in all things, but i'm not talking about excess here........just some humble honesty. jade

DarkElectric	30 Aug 2002
As a sax player, I can safely say that blowing my own horn is much better than blowing anyone else's!

Violet Gargoyle	30 Aug 2002
Sax with yourself is better than no sax at all. ***ARM THE TOMATOES****

DarkElectric	30 Aug 2002
Hey, I practice safe sax! Here come the spuds!

amyel	30 Aug 2002
[amyel shakes her head] Oh dear. I fear this thread is taking another of those turns......LOL

Liliana	30 Aug 2002
Not having a horn of my own, I find blowing someone elses horn once in awhile a rather enjoyable experience. If I want to know my good qualities I have to ask my husband, I cant see them on my own :THP

Phoenix	30 Aug 2002
This thread is quickly going the way of the Wonderbra thread.

RedWood	30 Aug 2002
Your right Jade..subtley of course..Sometimes you just have to let people know..

jade	30 Aug 2002
okay people, we need to try to stay on topic. as the thread creator and a moderator in this section you need to remember the forum guidelines. sorry to be a party pooper but this thread was important to me and everyone just being silly and not answering my question really isn't fair. so let's get on topic please. in light, moderator jade ps thanks for your reply redwood.

Violet Gargoyle	30 Aug 2002
Alrighty- no puns this time :) There was this thing at my old college's official gatherings where are random person would be drawn out of a hat and that person automatically, no matter what, would get an instant standing ovation from the crowd of usually 300. You wouldnt think it meant that much, but you'd be surprised how special people would feel for that brief moment, and/or how left out everybody else could feel if their name wasn't picked. For my own part, I am only really good at relating what I am good at in the context of my work, so that I know something gets properly done. (Internet content for a search engine) In order to assure that I get the things I want done I sort of have to blow my own horn about my efficiency and research abilities.

the hermit	31 Aug 2002
So Jade... In all seriousness I'm not quite sure what question you're asking. is it... how will they know if we don't do our own tooting? and from the additional comments I'm assuming that you mean in situations other than meetings where first impressions might be formed? and you also mentioned that you were... "not talking about excess here........just some humble honesty." So I'm not sure what you're looking for as an answer but... If it's an interview type setting then of course you toot loudly, as you are expected to, trying to show what a talented, creative, hardworking, intelligent person you are in order to convince the prospective employer that you are worthy of their trust and more importantly, their open position. If it's a day to day thing then I think you try to show by example what you can do. Going that extra step beyond what's expected. Taking on additional responsibilities even when not required. Watching for situations where you can showcase different aspects of your talent and skill. In my personal experience though, you need to be very careful not to toot too much (and this is such a subjective measure). The problem is that often what you might preceive as simple honesty is sometimes viewed by others as less than humble tooting. So... to toot... or not to toot... that is still the question.

zorya	31 Aug 2002
}) just to play devils advocate here; .... aren't you more impressed with someone whom others say nice things about, than someone who says nice things about themself?...and what about humility? *zorya ducks from whatever it is that jade is going to throw at her*

jade	31 Aug 2002
i totally agree with you zorya............ but, for example: i decide to finally start doing something new and i want and need clients to make a living in this new direction. isn't a little tooting appropriate? hermit, you answered exactly as i meant! both situations taken into consideration. i find that if i probably won't see the person again, but they are inquiring about a reading or healing or attunement etc. then i have to toot a little to let them know why they 'could' come to me for any of these things. (moving recently to a small town where no one knew me i found that i needed to do this a couple of times.....once at the health food store and again at the local metaphysical shop......so that they could know my 'skills' for future clients) but if i am going to have more meetings or opportunities with them then i usually stay quiet and allow the Goddess and my guides to assist the situation. but i'm always concerned about ego and the appearance of being too full of myself. i dislike it when i meet someone and they go on and on about themselves and how great they are at healing or reading etc. it usually turns me off of them........but on the other hand i know that they are just attempting (in some cases) to create opportunity for themselves. so this is a hard one for me personally. hence the thread........and i don't think that i'm explaining myself well in my first post or this one. i know what i'm thinking but i don't know if i'm making sense :( jade

Kaz	31 Aug 2002
i think it's very ok to let ppl know what you are good at, love doing etc. or show it, enough occasions usually to do this and not being a nuisance to others (bad english, these things are hard to describe) by talking too much about it/yourself. what works best, is to get them interested, they will ask you, then you have them exactly where you need them to be. this is a thing of marketing and selling "yourself" , nothing wrong with that at all. and the people you have interested will talk to others, so, it's just a matter of feeding the right people the right information, they will "sell" you then. i hope you understand what i mean here, coz i have serious trouble finding the right words...... kaz

Alissa	31 Aug 2002
I have over a dozen years experience as a performer and professional actor and dancer in town, and can tell you that I believe there are situations where you absolutely *must* be able to play out your strengths -- in a script proposal, or an audition, a cold reading, or a job interview. You have to go in there with the attitude of "You wanna know what else I can do?" and that is often the quality that people are looking for when casting, or hiring, or what have you. This however should never be in the manner of bravado, you have to be prepared to back up every claim you make with action and results. Therein lies the rub, I think.

amyel	31 Aug 2002
I kinda avoided this post when it looked like it was turning that corner, a.k.a. the wonderbra way, but decided to post a response since it's got back on track...LOL I think sometimes, it's appropriate to toot your own horn. Like zorya, though, if it's all a person does, I tend to be a little more mistrustful. But, in the situation you describe, Jade, I think it is totally approriate to toot your own. Besides, you've already got some clients - is this a new direction, or a new service that you can market to your existing clients? I'm not very good at playing myself up. I'm a lousey salesperson that way. But there have been a couple times when I have, and I never regreted it!

jade	01 Sep 2002
i didn't start this thread because of this, it was a carry on from a private conversation with a friend but, yes, i'm starting a meditation group on the third sunday of every month and i'm begining to teach some classes. starting with ear coning and then perhaps a tarot class or 'enlightenment' classes (don't know what to call them, but assisting people to meditate, cleanse chakras, learn about different forms of healing, seeing auras etc.) but i don't want to sound egotistical, but i also need to sound confident. i find that it's such a fine line and i sooooooooo don't want to sound full of myself when i'm explaining to the shop owners (metaphysical and health food) why they should promote my classes. love jade

Alissa	01 Sep 2002
I think you're right that it is a fine line between boasting, and promoting your talents, your classes, and what you have to offer students. If it helps, think of it as energy exchange. You have X amount of energy to expend on these topics, and what is that worth to them? That takes the ego out of the situation a bit. In any case, I think you should remember there is no shame in standing on your talent, and being clear about what you can do (which it sounds as if you have!) It seems you have a lot to offer.

Marion	01 Sep 2002
The other thing is the way you phrased the question. It seemed to confuse others and it did me as well until your follow-up post. Your original question made it sound like you were asking, Is it okay to just tell people how great you are at something? At first you did not give a reason for doing this, or maybe not clearly enough. In normal everyday interactions, I would say that doing that likely would have the opposite effect of what you are hoping. But then, you clarified. You are talking about promoting a business. Not really blowing your personal horn, but rather (to stick with the musical analogy) drumming up business. In my mind that is a whole different issue. Of course you need to advertise. In this case the business and you are pretty well identical so it feels like you are bragging (not a good word, just can't think of another immediately) but in fact since you and the business are one, what you are doing is advertising. Of course you should do that, it is your livelihood. But in normal interactions, I would say a quality is all the more impressive if gradually revealed.

purplelady	01 Sep 2002
Quote: Originally posted by jade but i don't want to sound egotistical, but i also need to sound confident. love jade There is a fine line between sounding egotistical vs. sounding confident- Especially for LEOS! I would keep that in mind. Sorry, it's the blunt truth , something I find hard to avoid! You don't want to sound falsely modest, but on the other hand you don't want to sound overly egotistical either, hmmmmmmm! Perhaps if you try and focus on the facts , express confidence in things you know you can do well, but be aware and keep in check about touting your own horn TOO loudly. There's a point where the horn may blare too high decibels, if 'ya know what I mean.................! Good Luck jade, I am sure that you Can do everything the new job requires. And Leos are Full of personality so don't hesitate to use that!

Laurel	01 Sep 2002
Self-promotion is an energetic confidence-building activity. Its an important step in networking. People who have grown up with low self-esteeme need to learn to acknowledge their skills and share them with the world. This is all good. The important thing to remember is that we are ever in danger of hubris. We start taking ourselves and our accomplishments too seriously, and get too cocky until life helpfully dumps us on our rump to let us take a time of self-reflection to get back on course. So it all boils down to situation and motive. When and where and why is someone "tooting?" Is the tooting an act of self-empowerment (a courage based act) or is it bragging in order to be the center of attention (a fear based act). Laurel

truthsayer	01 Sep 2002
i think developing a portfolio about you talents and abilities that you can substantiate via references or certificates of completion. kind of like an artisit's portfolio of art that shows a potential employer about capabilities you have. you've trained in reiki--stating where and who you learned w/ would be an example. another way to get a grasp on exactly what you want to tell others about yourself is to write a job description of what you do and how you do it or write a resume. find ppl who are willing to be your references that others can call if they want to confirm what you do and how it went w/ the other person. think about devising ways of advertizing what you do. perhaps an open house/lecture free to the public where you show them a slice of what you do and then do a follow-up workshop of what you want to teach to those interested. there's nothing that sells others like an actual demo. i've been to several like this and it does help you decide in a neutral enviroment whether you want to take the workshop or not. kind of like showing next week's preview after this show is over.

jade	01 Sep 2002
i find this difficult sometimes because "i" don't do anything........i am just the channel and so "i" can't make a reading happen or a meditation successful. and then there's the leo aspect........so true. :( such a contradiction. i love everything that everyone has said and i hope that anyone reading this thread - can perhaps - find assistance in their own pursuit of "to toot or not to toot" love jade

Kiama	01 Sep 2002
Toot. Definitely. Personally, I'm damn proud of my achievements, and I wouldn't mind a few more opportunities to be able to tell people about what I've done in the 18 years I've been on this planet. It makes me feel good. I don't do it to impress somebody (Unless its an employer, etc), I do it cuz it feels good! ALthough, I'm not sure I would go so far as to introduce myself by listing my achievements and qualifications! I only 'toot', if asked to first. I've always been brought up with the motto: Be proud of who you are, and what you've done, but also be watchful of what you are doing. Kiama

Red Emma	01 Sep 2002
Here comes the old PR woman, the one who is accredited by the national PR organization, although since retired. (Speaking of blowing one's own horn). Have you thought of "some ink" as the trendy ad people used to call publicity. If I knew where you lived -- small, medium-size or big city -- I'd have a better idea of the possibilities. However, throughly read and research your local papers, or magazines to see who might carry off-beat subjects. Although these days Pagan-related subjects are generating more interest in the media. I've seen statistics about how fast Wicca, etc, are growing. This kind of thing might be good information to include with your query letter. By the way, it's better to have newspaper or magazine publicity than radio or TV (but don't turn your nose up at anything) because you can then xerox the articles and place them with your handouts about your class. Promotes your credibility! In our city (NW Pacific Coast, population approximately 500,000) I'd start with the major daily paper. Is there a religion page? Could you suggest an angle about one of your interests which could be written about in a religious vein? Does the paper have a calendar on the religious page? If so, try to get your activities onto the calendar. Our paper requires that such notices be submitted about three or four weeks before the event. Next, the neighborhood papers. Would any of them be interested in an article about meditation and its benefits, or how one discovers her aura, and why it's useful to do so? You could apply these criteria to each of the subjects your class will cover. Also in our town are two Pagan-oriented magazines which are given away for free in street corner boxes, and also in New Age Stores and bookshops. Named "Connexions," and "Alternatives", they carry both articles about various people in the Pagan community and quite useful ads. I'm sure, after you've surveyed the local papers, you'll come up with ideas of your own. If these ideas appeal to you, feel free. And write me privately if you have questions. Goddess Bless, Red Emma

zorya	01 Sep 2002
want to know what inspired this thread? i have been trying to choose a (subscriber) title to put under my name. i asked jade what she thought of ; zorya, of the forest. jade felt that i should include the word shaman. i responded by telling her that i practice shamanism. ( if people want to call me a shaman, i neither deny nor would stop them. ) now... i am also in the process of starting my own web based business. i will be reading cards online. this is why jade feels i need to toot my own horn. i really wasn't planning on including my journeying in that business anyway....

DarkElectric	01 Sep 2002
I think it pays to advertise. If someone has something really great going on, word of mouth helps, and I do admit it seems more sincere if the words are of someone else's mouth. But if nobody knows you, then you do have to get the word out somehow. It is inadvisable to become the next P.T Barnum, or Malcolm McLaren, but letting people know what you do, and then proving that you do it really well is a different story. I agree with whomever said "Talk the talk, ONLY if you can walk the walk too." Because then it looks more like honest self promotion, and less like braggadocio. So I guess I would have to say Toot, but do it with style!

floracove	02 Sep 2002
Advertising brings in clients and their money!

jade	02 Sep 2002
ah zorya, i still say "shaman of the forest" heehee i live in a small town >4,000 people. alot of very christian people so i can't really promote too much. i made some really nice posters on amazing paper to put up at the health food store (they framed it and placed it on the counter) :D and then i took one to the metaphysical store in a neighbouring town. if someone brings up anything at all new-agey, i mention the group and let them know they are welcome to join in. i leave it at that. i'm hopeful that people will come, but terrified at the same time. i've made up some posters for an ear candling class as well and i'll see if the health food store will post it there since they sell candles. but, i can't really do too much promotion nor do i wish to. i would rather people learn from word of mouth thru experience with me. but of course, i have to let people, neighbours, etc know what i do i want new clients for my other stuff like reiki and tarot readings..........but i'm patient. i love all the advice everyone offered and i cherish the courage it took for zorya to share her news with you all. i'm proud of you girl!!! love jade

The blowing your own horn thread was originally posted on 30 Aug 2002 in the Chat board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Chat, or read more archived threads.