Perfect or imperfect?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 08 Aug 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Dark Inquisitor	08 Aug 2002
My daughter brought me a tiny natural crystal ball the other day. She was apologetic because it was not a perfect specimen, but its flaws didn't matter to me - only made it more interesting. Later I thought about it and realized there are 2 schools of thought on this. Some people can only find value in something if it is perfect or nearly so. I have a friend who likes everything to match, all her cans in the pantry organized & facing forward, even the vaccuum lines in her carpet should be straight. She finds comfort in order. It is the backbone of her life, & I understand it. On the other hand, if the house is perfectly neat, I become nervous. It means to me that someone critical is coming over! I don't mind if a thing is not so perfect. I appreciate the signs of wear & age as natural patina that is like an artist's finish. If something is perfect, that means I must be careful of it , and that is a strain. I would rather buy a used table with potential & refinish it than a brand new one all perfectly done. If I choose a coffeetable, it should have good potential as a footrest. A chair must have good slouch capability. I like things to compliment one another rather than match. This drives the perfection-seeking person nuts. So- do you prefer perfect or imperfect?

jema	08 Aug 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Tarotphelia If I choose a coffeetable, it should have good potential as a footrest. A chair must have good slouch capability. I like things to compliment one another rather than match. This drives the perfection-seeking person nuts. So- do you prefer perfect or imperfect? hehe, i couldn't agree more! whenever i am in a "perfect" home i feel restless and afraid to move. i had a boyfriend once who was a prefectionist and it just didn't work out. he used to line up my shoes and he lectured me on how to brush my hair so no hairs fell on the floor. we both just drove eachother mad!!! oh i have a crystal ball too! with imperfections in it and i love it. they give life to it!

catlin	08 Aug 2002
Hm, I am a perfectionist in matters concerning work and tarot decks but not in everyday stuff. I remember having had a friend whose appartement looked like a photo taken out from a "Better Living" magazine. No plants, no animals, no visitors. Everything was at its place, everything looked neat and perfect and...impossible to live in. It was cold and unpersonal, a flat to show of with but not to live in. You can well imagine that I never set a foot in this flat.

Poetlove	08 Aug 2002
I like a house to look lived in. I think it comes back from my Mother, who has everything in it's place 24/7. She gets nervous around kids, but a house shouldn't be like that. To have to worry about everything is hard enough with 2 boys. The rooms here are clean, but I am sure they are not "white" gloved clean. Along with the 2 boys, we have 3 cats and 2 dogs. Tho, I like the boys to keep their toys in their room, that is what they have them for. Other then that, kick your feet up, and enjoy life.

Liliana	08 Aug 2002
Im the most imperfect you can get hehe, just have a chaotic mind, even when I make my house perfect for some reason (usually company) its goes back to being imperfect at the speed of ligt. Thing it has to do with a 4 year old and an almost 3 year old hehe :THP

Sam	08 Aug 2002
do you really have to ask? imperfect duh! the world would be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boring with everything perfect!

Starfish	08 Aug 2002
Imperfect, definitely :) :TMAGE Starfish

amyel	08 Aug 2002
Aaaaaahhhhhhh.... One person's perfect is another's imperfect! I like a tidy house. This mostly selfishly motivated, as I am usually the one who ends up cleaning it all anyway, and if it's left in a tidy state to begin with, it makes my job easier. But, my standards of tidy are vastly different from anyone else's in the house. As for personally......I am not perfect. I don't expect to be perfect. I don't want to strive for perfection. And I don't expect it of anyone else! (Although the step kids might argue that point - see comments on "tidy" above...LOL)

Red raven	08 Aug 2002
In grade 7 one of my friends yelled at me because I borrowed her pack of laurentien pencilcrayons and didn't put them back in numbered order. my room is organized chaos. it's a pigsty to the outsider but I know exactly where everything is. (On the floor!;)) as for personalit, I am perfect. Everybody here is perfect. It's human nature to be imperfect, so imperfect humans are, if you thik about it, perfect. (Anyone understand that? ;))

DarkElectric	08 Aug 2002
I find such absolute beauty in imperfection. Imperfection is truly wonderful, at least to me. I'm imperfect. In my mind, the concept of perfection is merely a created ideal, specifically to keep us striving and distracted. I find such comfort in imperfection. There is a gorgeousness to symmetry, this is true. But when something generally symmetric has some inperfection, or asymmetry, this, to me, is what takes it into the realm of the true masterpiece. I can't get comfortable in a living space that is so tidy and clean that it looks like no one lives there. It seems cold and impersonal to me too. I have friends who need absolute rigid order in their lives. And I can understand this. But I wish that some of them would just mess up their house one day, so they know that the world won't end because there's disorder. Besides, think of all the fun they'd have cleaning it up later!

jade	08 Aug 2002
i used to have a perfect home. it gave me alot of comfort in having my home perfectly clean. but, thru more personal healing and growth.....now i like my home to be lived in and comfy. :D love jade

wavebreaker	08 Aug 2002
Quote: Originally posted by amyel One person's perfect is another's imperfect! I agree! My house is perfect for me, because I furnished it the way I like it and I feel perfectly happy in it. It's probably not perfect for my neighbours. Their house is perfect for them, because they furnished it the way they like it. Their house is not perfect for me. But then I don't have to live in my neighbour's house and they don't have to live in mine. So I don't care whether other people think my house is boring, or too tidy or whatever, it's my house, I find it nice and warm and comfortable and it's perfect for me. And if they wouldn't visit me anymore just because they wouldn't like my house, well... So, to answer the question: I like what's perfect for ME... ;)

WolfSpirit	08 Aug 2002
My house is never perfectly tidied and clean (I could never do that even if I wanted) but there are a few things that just have to be "my way": a cushion at its right place on the bed, my fountain pens in their own wooden box... This is mostly with things I really like, they have to be in their own spot. Things that are utensils or just there for my comfort... they are more or less in their place. If they are not I can always blame the cats.

zorya	08 Aug 2002
i have a perfect table. it is exactly what i wanted. it's round and nurturing, the heart of the home. it's sturdy and has four legs, so it can't tip if my children should ever try to climb on it. (when i'm not looking of course lol ). it's what i asked for. it's no antique, just well used. the finish is worn off in spots, there are lots of stains and gouges. noone can get upset about a spill. my kids can paint or glue on it all they like. when people see my table, they must see it's magic, because they always compliment it, despite it's bedraggled appearance. i have a perfect table.

purplelady	08 Aug 2002
I'm a capricorn and I NEED my house to be tidy and orderly and clean! If things are strewn all over and out of place I can become pretty unsettled! Everything has it's place! But I have plenty of "imperfect" furniture and items that were bought second-hand, or from the thrift store , or gotten from that free place where many neighbors locate and trade used furniture items after dark- it's called dumpster-diving :) . I've even rescused potted plants that I felt sorry for and nursed them back to health!

amyel	08 Aug 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Red raven as for personalit, I am perfect. Everybody here is perfect. It's human nature to be imperfect, so imperfect humans are, if you thik about it, perfect. (Anyone understand that? ;)) Absolutely! It sounds like my kind of logic!

Kismet	09 Aug 2002
For me, perfect or imperfect depends on what we speak of :) My house HAS to be in order. I've been told those of us that feel out of control, or situations in our lives that are out of our control, tend to have urges to control our surroundings, so we clean and clean....That's me!! :) If we're speaking of items or things, I like imperfections, as they show uniqueness.

napaea	09 Aug 2002
what do i like, perfect or imperfect.... well, i would LIKE to have a tidy, uncluttered house, but it doesn't seem to be possible for me. i guess i would like to have a house that has a place for everything, and can be tidy and clutter free, except for when i'm CREATING, which is all the time. so maybe i wish i could have the majority of the house tidy and beautiful, and only rooms i'm currently working in to be a wreck. that would be more helpful than what it is now. right now, i have books strewn all over, clothes all over the floor of my once feng-shuid room, and other evidence of my creative surges pretty much all over. sigh.

divinerguy	10 Aug 2002
As I sit here, in front of my desk, reading posts about perfect and imperfect, I realize something -- I can't see the top of my desk. The only clear areas are the printer output area and my Tarot reading area. Otherwise, it is a mass of papers. I can't find a da**ed thing, and I get frustrated about it pretty frequently. I need a paralegal in a bad way. My wife used to be my paralegal, but she quit. Said her boss was an idiot. I have stuff on my desk that I haven't seen or used in months. I'm quite convinced that Jimmy Hoffa's decomposed body is in there somewhere, along with JFK's missing brain, Amelia Earheart and the Holy Grail. I could clean it, of course, but doing so would sap me of my creative juices, and what kind of person would I be without my creative juices? Juiceless, that's what I'd be, and a sorrier state you'll never find. And speaking of states, California, its called the Golden State. One of your finer states, as states go. And go they must, just like old people's minds. I had a book about that once, I think I left it on my desk. I think its here, under this ... ah, what do you them? A leg bone I think ...

VGimlet	10 Aug 2002
In life - nothing is absolutely perfect. Even the most perfect-appearing item has flaws or bumps at some level. But, maybe that's a part of its perfection. Perfection, except in machinery or mathematics, is a matter of perception. I prefer character in the things that I love. As far as a perfect house (funny how many of us thought of that) I like a tidy and clean house, but now I clean it once a week, and don't worry too much about it after that. I used to be slightly obsessive - and I am the family slob, my mom and sister are totally obsessed about having everything in it's place. But several years ago, I thought, 'Hmmm, what do I want to remember about this time; that I had a really clean house, or that I did things that were important and satisfying to me.' But, I hate to clean, some people really enjoy it. :)

jade	10 Aug 2002
zorya, beautifully said :D love jade

Dark Inquisitor	10 Aug 2002
Quote: Originally posted by jema [b] whenever i am in a "perfect" home i feel restless and afraid to move. i had a boyfriend once who was a prefectionist and it just didn't work out. he used to line up my shoes and he lectured me on how to brush my hair so no hairs fell on the floor. Wow jema- you must have been a very nice person to put up with that ! Queen E. used to line up her shoes like that too, but I guess that's royalty for you. (It has never occurred to me even once that shoes should be alligned - do they walk better then?) How do people think of these things? When my friend told me she wanted the lines in the carpet straight, I said, "What lines?????" I really had no idea what she meant and never paid any attention to them at all ! There must be a whole universe of orders & measures I know nothing about. Unaware & deluded, Tarotphelia

mara	10 Aug 2002
to be honest I'd have to say I'm a little of both. I love to keep the house neat and clean (especially in the living room), everything in it's place and slightly organized. But on the other hand I totaly have no problem with my little girl playing everywhere with her toys (eventhough I stumble over them sometimes). I used to be really perfect about the way the house was, everything perfectly clean and tidy, but over the last five or so years that 's changed (probably due to having a child in the house). It's something my little girl tought me (and my husband has been saying for years)......a clean mess is really cozy :) Mara

Kismet	10 Aug 2002
Quote: Originally posted by divinerguy As I sit here, in front of my desk, reading posts about perfect and imperfect, I realize something -- I can't see the top of my desk. The only clear areas are the printer output area and my Tarot reading area. Otherwise, it is a mass of papers. I can't find a da**ed thing, and I get frustrated about it pretty frequently. I need a paralegal in a bad way. My wife used to be my paralegal, but she quit. Said her boss was an idiot. I have stuff on my desk that I haven't seen or used in months. I'm quite convinced that Jimmy Hoffa's decomposed body is in there somewhere, along with JFK's missing brain, Amelia Earheart and the Holy Grail. I could clean it, of course, but doing so would sap me of my creative juices, and what kind of person would I be without my creative juices? Juiceless, that's what I'd be, and a sorrier state you'll never find. And speaking of states, California, its called the Golden State. One of your finer states, as states go. And go they must, just like old people's minds. I had a book about that once, I think I left it on my desk. I think its here, under this ... ah, what do you them? A leg bone I think ... Between this and the post on the Anaconda, you've had me in stitches, hehe. In love and light, Kismet

Marion	10 Aug 2002
My house is pretty neat and clean, but honest, folks are always telling me how warm and inviting my house is. It is. It is neat and clean, and, warm and inviting and friendly. Then again, I don't have kids.

cherrywind	10 Aug 2002
Imperfection for me. Although I don't know if I'd call it that, I like to call it a lived in look. I'd be horribly nervous if my place looked like a museum at all times. The think the little things that aren't absolutely perfect are what makes life interesting.

floracove	13 Aug 2002
I'm the oldest of five children and female, so the majority of chores and making sure they were done was up to me... I left home at 18, lived by myself except for college years. I was taught how to clean and manage. My house was always clean, because it was just me. And if you don't make a mess you don't have to clean a mess. Well my first husband was the youngest of 3 and spoilt rotten, everyone waited on him hand and foot. It took 3 months of his clothes laying where ever he took them off for him to realize if he wanted clean clothes he had to put them in the laundry. I lived by myself for a loooong time and it took me 2 years to get use to my baby making messes... She's 7 now and helps me sometimes having to be made to and sometimes she surprises me and just does it by herself! My newest baby is 2 and 4 months and she makes messes worse than the 1st. I love to be able to get the house clean and then sit and relax and bask in the wonderfulness of it! But now it only takes a couple of hours of letting the baby loose and oh my! But I decided that it was much more enjoyable to HAVE them than a perfect house. The guy I am with now, one of the first things I asked him when we talked of getting back together was... You don't just throw your stuff down anywhere and leave it do you? He laughed and told me no. and I told him I didn't think he did. He's Virgo/Leo. I'm a Pisces/Capricorn 7 yr old is Libra/Capricorn 2 yr old is Aries/Libra So yes I love a Clean house, but I realize that sometimes some things need to be put on a back burner... And after Hurricane George came through, none of my furniture matches, but it's comfortable... But I do know where everything is as long as someone else makes sure to put it back where it belongs... I have an Aunt that always loved to see me come visit because I love to clean and she would mention it and off I'd go...she just loved that!

rostie	13 Aug 2002
imperfect! i love things that have lived, live...old things, worn, silver that's a little black, shells that are weather-worn, stones, books with that typical old smell...old houses cracking, furnish where the coat of paint peel off... that special aura new things don't have...

The Perfect or imperfect? thread was originally posted on 08 Aug 2002 in the Chat board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Chat, or read more archived threads.