Money: What to teach your children

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 01 Sep 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

purplelady	01 Sep 2002
This thread was inspired by a thread by PurpleGoddess under citizen chat. So what do you think children should be taught about money and also credit? I remember my parents goal was to try and keep me very sheltered. Money, Especially Their money , was whispered about behind closed doors only! It was Worse than Sex! Still , I think I did very well managing my money and financial affairs, until last year when my credit went to hell in a hand basket, and I'm almost 40 yrs old . Do you think children should be taught about money by their parents? What should they be taught and at what age? Should there be classes in school? If so , at what level, elementary school, jr.high, high school, college ? Should there be classes on things such as how to balance a checkbook? All about credit cards and credit reports? I'm not talking about teaching elementary kids that a penny is 1 cent , a nickel is 5 cents etc. I'm talking about teaching kids Real Life money situations. I don't shelter my kids , and they probubly know more about my financial problums than they even want to! But, I figure maybe they will be able to manage their money better and avoid pitfalls if they are better informed. On the other hand, I really dislike when a parent over does it teaching their kids about money. For instance, parents who make their kids eat everything on their plate at every meal and then remind them at every meal that food costs money. And parents who have to harp on what everything costs all the time to small kids or even teenagers. I've Never paid my kids one cent for their grades either and they get straight A's! I guess there needs to be a happy medium. And credit is more and more important these days. I also wonder if school age kids should be taught more about real-world money situations as far as what job they get directly affects what lifestyle they will lead financially. The real connection between job and money , house buying, even things like cost of living from city to city. Believe it or not , when I graduated high school, I really Did Not make the connection between going to college, picking a career, and how I would be living my life when I was in my 20's, 30's and 40's.

PurpleGoddess	01 Sep 2002
Quote: Originally posted by purplelady Believe it or not , when I graduated high school, I really Did Not make the connection between going to college, picking a career, and how I would be living my life when I was in my 20's, 30's and 40's. DITTO ON EVERYTHING YOU'VE SAID RIGHT HERE!!!! and i'm glad i could inspire a thread to start the dialogue of growth for our future generation..i have no children yet. I'm 39 & have no idea what i'm going to be doing w/my life. even w/a 2yr degree in general studies didn't help that journey. i'm working p/t in the fitness industry for the 3rd time in 15 yrs and i think this where the goddess wants me..in something like this but it'll require more education and money to get there. time will tell me which way to go. i knew nothing about saving money at all or how to investment money cause it's something my parents didn't share w/me and by bro. it's something they fought over many times in my lifetime. i didn't understand what would happen w/the credit cards i got and how it would effect my car and home buying strenght. when i was a kid they would make me save my gift money but never told me i couldn't spend it either. i wish my parents sat w/me in junior high and talked about the future after graduation etc. oh, they never thought i would make it to college and my father believed i should stay home, get a job get married and pregnant!!!! at the time he was39yo...the same age i am now. talked about real life situations etc. the same thing in highschool, start talking about saving, investing and future plans...a class that is taken from freshman to senior year and builds on the year before. w/career counseling in jr and sr years. then have it have the career centers in colleges offer credit and money counseling. i was and still am a compulsive shopper when emotions are frazzeled. did too much this past 2 wks cause of my pain. gotta go get ready for the movies. sorry this is short. but my thoughts anyway... :) thanks for starting this. i look forward to reading other replies.

debins	01 Sep 2002
I think if one's parents are "good" with money--not extreme--then they might be effective teachers much in the same way as some parents are good sex educators. But mine were not in either case. Bad talking about sex; suffering hopelessly in silence about money. My parents struggled financially for a host of reasons that would make a pathetic novel. And I, by the way, haven't done well myself. Therefore, if many similar circumstances abound I would suggest that money-matters with reference to everyday living be incorporated into a portion of an existing course at school, maybe in math class, maybe in grade 7? I'm not sure if that is an appropriate age or not.

wavebreaker	01 Sep 2002
My parents gave us pocket money from about the age of 8. It wasn't much, it was meant to teach us about money. Whenever we wanted to have some toy, they would tell us to save up our pocket money for it. They never borrowed us money to buy toys. This is how we learned the real value of money and that you can't just buy everything, but that you need to save up money first. When I turned 15, I also got clothes money on top of my pocket money. From then on, I had to buy all my own clothes from my own money. Again, if I wanted something expensive, I had to save for it, or get a job and earn the money myself. So I started doing summer jobs to earn extra money. When I went to college, my parents paid my college fees and books, but I had to live on the student grant that everyone here in the Netherlands gets, which is hardly enough to pay for rent and food. This taught me how to live on a small amount of money. My parents also encouraged us to continue our education, so we would be able to get a job that would enable us to support ourselves. The main lessons I was taught by my parents were that you need to work for your money and that you shouldn't spend money you don't have and shouldn't take out loans unless there really isn't any other solution. If I would ever have children myself, this is what I would teach them too. It has helped me tremendously: I'm very good with handling money and I've never had any debts. I'm grateful to my parents for what they taught me.

amyel	01 Sep 2002
Household money and financial planning for the future was never discussed that I recall in my family. I had PT jobs from the time I was 14, so spending money was never an issue for me. But I never got an allowance, either. When I wanted my own car, I saved up for it and bought it. My parents all helped at various times with funding college for me, but mainly, I survived on student loans and FT jobs through university. This meant I graduated much later then most of my friends, but that was ok. I had trouble with credit, but never had trouble paying my debts until my father died. American Express is not a nice company, let me tell you, but that's another story for another day. Let me say the trouble came not because he supported my monthly debts but because he died in Australia when I lived in Canada, and had just quit my job so I could concentrate on m y last year at uni. Anyway, I paid it all off with my inheritance (which wasn't much), and then suffered 7 years because I refused to declare bankruptacy for less then $10K total (including student loans). We give my step-kids money and are not afraid to tell them we can't afford something or they will have to do some extra chores around the house to earn extra money for something special. The older kid (12) seems to understand this, but the younger one (10) doesn't. I refuse to give monatary rewards for grades, but their mother rewards them with trips and stuff. I don't agree, but I'm only the step mom, so it doesn't matter what I think. The allowance hubs & I give them is partially "just because" and partially based on chores. We try to keep it age appropriate - for example, when they were 6, part of their allowance was for brushing thier teeth or cleaning their rooms, but now that they are much older, it is for bigger things, as teeth & room cleaning is expected of them. I was also involved for a few years with a Junior Acheivement program geared towards 8th graders called "The Economics of Staying in School" which demontrated to students not only why dropping out was financially a bad idea, but how much it actually cost to live on their own. One girl said her parents rented a house for $100! Not in this city, believe me! It was a good program, and I wish the client I was at would let me participate more.

floracove	02 Sep 2002
When in High School we had a Tax Class that taught us of income taxes and returns and how to fill them out. We never got paid for the chores that we did. The first money that both of my children ever held in their hands as infants were $100.00 bills. (my hopes that in so doing that they would have good money luck rub off on them) No ideas on how to teach children of money or spending habits. But do hope to distill in them the appreciation of not wasting...I hate to waste anything... (just my 2cents) *

Kiama	02 Sep 2002
My parents were very hush-hush about their money problems too. It is not until a few months ago that I really found out what their financial situation was. And, like PurpleLady, they never gave me any money r presents for getting good grades, and I always got good grades regardless. (I think they were wise on this one! If they had promised me presents for every good grade, they'd be bankrupted by now! ;)) But th eone thingthey diud teach meabout money, which has proved invaluable to me, is that it basically makes the world go round. If you have no mony, you're gonna be in somedifficuty. My Mum taught me lots abot money when I was 13. She took me to the local holiday camp, and got me a job as a chamber maid. I've been working in various jobs ever since, and I have paid for everything I need, except for food and essentials. I've bought my own clothes, shampoo, Tarot decks, school stuff, ec, since my first pay packet entered my pocket, and I used to pay Mum a small amount of the money I earned as 'keep'. After all, it cost her money to feed me, so we thought it a good idea that I should help her out with that. I hink this really got me into the practice of knowing that nothing in this world is free, and I learned how much certain things cost. I learned the anjoyment and pleasureone can get out of working hard for that thing you really wanna buy. I remember when I was 15, I had this lousy job as an office cleaner, and I got maybe £15 a week from it. But I saved every penny of that which I could spare, and bought my Mum the painting she had been amdmiring for 2 years... From that I learned the joy of giving people a present they really wanted. (My Mum broke down in tears and couldn't believe her eyes when she unwrapped it, and I remember being so pleased that she like it) So, that's what my parents did and what I learned from it. I definitely think that geting your kid a job when they're young starts them of knowing what hardwork is like. When my friendgot her first job at 17, he nearly died because she didn't know how to do it! She just couldn't get used to the idea of getting up on time for work, and doing the job she needed to do... Whereas I had had'practice', and got on qite well. (We both did the ame job BTW!) Kiama

Laurel	02 Sep 2002
I left home having no real concept of how to handle money and I'm still paying for that, sixteen years later :( I think teaching children how to balance a checkbook, the importance of paying bills on time, keeping tax records, etc., is essential. Laurel

debins	02 Sep 2002
Amyel: quote: [I} "suffered 7 years because I refused to declare bankruptacy for less then $10K total (including student loans). "/quote My premises here is my belief in karma: I understand your sense of responsibility and I think and believe you did the right thing by paying-off your debts and NOT declaring bankruptcy. I understand that there are those who feel they must take the bankruptcy route right now and I respect their decision but I do think they will eventually pay in one way or another. In the end, all debts are paid. I simply choose to try to settle my accounts now, as best I can. I, too, struggle to pay-off debts incurred for educating step-children beyond my means. My husband and I chose to send our girls to professional ballet school and universities and to pay their way; they could not earn enough on their own and ballet school out of province does not provide scholarships. But I think if we don't pay now we simply think we are not paying, but we will definitely pay sometime, somehow. Perhaps someone has some wisdom to contribute here??? for many of us suffer from similar difficulties and struggle with our conscience and sense of responsibility, all the while juggling the day-to-day realities.

Umbrae	02 Sep 2002
If you do not teach your children about money, who will? The school system has no interest in teaching your children about money. Teachers (Sorry guys) have a government guaranteed retirement program, so they do not have to worry about retirement. It is in the best interest of the government that you do not understand money or economics. If you did, their tax programs would not be passed in elections, and the politicians would be out of jobs. Every person capable of reading should take it upon himself or herself to begin educating themselves about economics. Your parents may not have done an adequate job. Your school system had a bias. Your college professor may have had a bias. You owe it to your self and your children – educate yourself first. Question the foundations of your knowledge. Then change the world, one person at a time, one neighborhood at a time, by sharing what you know. It is in the best interests of the government of the country in which you live, for you to remain ignorant. It is in the interests of the banks for you to remain in debt. It is in your best interest to educate yourself. Standard modern economics is based on the writings of Adam Smith (DOD 1792), Karl Marx, John Maynard Keynes, and a host of other dead guys who knew little. Here is a place for you to start: http://www.qjae.org/

jade	02 Sep 2002
the only thing that my parents taught me about money is to spend it. don't save, that's for sissies. unfortunately, i learned this lesson well. i am terrible at not spending that last dollar :( so i do my budgetting and paying bills with my daughter so that she can see where i mess up and hopefully make different choices. how can i teach her to be wise with her money when i'm not? i do have her put money away in mutual funds though........for when she's older. hopefully, she'll see the value in that and continue on. in light, jade

Kaz	02 Sep 2002
my parents thought me about money. i know the value of it, coz i had to "work" for it. work, like doing chores, and later get a parttime job. when i was in uni i was in the same situation as tarotlady, mom and dad payed my uni-fees and books, the rest i had to take care of myself. so i know about money, i know when and what to spend, how to budget , all that and more. heeehee, i even know how to invest it, though i am to chicken to do it with real money, i won an investing comp[etition a year ago, made a ****load of money, too bad it wasnt real. kaz

purplelady	04 Sep 2002
That's where I am now. Refusing to file bankruptcy. Though it is an option. But I'm trying to pay the debts back and it's a big big hassle and struggle. Bankruptcy maybe would be a lot easier. But either way , your credit is screwed, and I've heard it's screwed worse with bankruptcy.

Rhiannon	04 Sep 2002
Thank goodness I only have one credit card, and that's because when we bought this house we NEEDED a washer and dryer. I refuse to get American Excuse, Visa (other than my debit card) or anything else because I don't want to have that kind of debt hanging over my head. I have enough problems with regular bills. I also owe my parents more $$ than I'm comfortable with, but at least they don't charge me interest! Thank the God/dess that they are there for me. I think sitting down with my daughter (and later my sons) while I write out the bills is a great idea, Jade! I may start doing that. Ti may also serve to keep me more "honest" ;) . I do pay her an allowance IF she does her chores. She has been getting $1 a week since she was 5 years old. Her first lesson was hard. She wanted a barbie and she saved for it ($11), and 10 minutes after she bought it she said "Can we take this back so I can get something else now?" LOL Now she makes sure she really wants something before she buys it, or she just waits for her birthday or Yule. I think Umbrae is right too, we must first educate ourselves and then strive to educate our children. I certainly don't want my kids growing up with the same misunderstandings that I have. R :)

lunalafey	05 Sep 2002
My parents taught me the value of money by giving me the experience of dealing with it. I would be 'given a job'. My mother ran a gift shop, (3-5th grade) and my father had a printing business. (@7th grade) I also had baby sitting jobs. I got either payment or trade (fun in a gift shop). There where things that I wanted that my parents could not afford, like the riding lessons.....so I had to find a way to make that money outside of home. Rarely would I get monetary rewards, no allowance, and never got paid for chores. To this day I have never had a credit card and that is by choice.... yet, I have the ability to manage one, thanks to my parents. It's a parents responsibility to teach their childern; period. But If they can't do it for themselves then how can they teach it? I guess it's the 'live and learn' method........ this is unfortunate for all my nut shell from the money tree: 1. make money~ get a job 2. save money~get ahead 3. pay bills~be responsible 4. don't spend~be practical 5. know what you need~coming IN and going OUT 6. know what you want~set goals 7. credit cards can be dangerous~ enter at your own risk It is in the best interests of the government of the country in which you live, for you to remain ignorant. It is in the interests of the banks for you to remain in debt. I like this statement..... I go a small loan from my small community, one of a kind, credit union. dealing with them is way better than dealing with the national banks.

debins	05 Sep 2002
Just wondering, very genuinely....because in Canada it seems one must have a credit card for the following bookings and also to establish a credit rating. How do you book vacations, order things over the phone, rent a car, etc.

lunalafey	05 Sep 2002
NO credit card.... I have a Debit card, works just the same but the money is already in the bank. out of money, can't use the card. real simple eh?

debins	06 Sep 2002
No, I'm not speaking of money substitutes or debt. In Canada, you can't rent a car with a Debit Card unless you want to pay for the car outright: What? debit your account for $20,000 or more? And you can't just pay Budget, or AVIS or Discount $30.00 and drive away. You HAVE to give the car rental places a credit card number in case you steal the car--then they have recourse. Same for hotels: they won't take reservations over the phone without a credit card number. They can't debit your chequing account over the phone. Young people without credit cards cannot rent a car for the day or book a hotel in advance for the weekend. Can you book a hotel over the phone in California without giving a deposit? Don't they want some money upfront in case you cancel? The way it is done in many places is by credit card. How do you order from Amazon.com, etc. without a credit card? That's what I am asking. Isn't this kind of use of credit cards a necessity? How do you do such things without a credit card? I'm intrigued.

purplelady	08 Sep 2002
That is my plan for the future. To pay off all the credit cards. And Only have a debit card. I cannot say for sure about hotels, airlines, or car rentals. However, it is my understanding that anyone who takes a credit card also takes a debit card exactly the same. The difference is, you do have to have the money in the bank account to cover it. Amazon.com takes checks, money orders , debit credit cards, everything. It seems to be such a common misperception that you need a credit card to buy from them. You can also get AOL and msn internet service without a credit card , but you need a checking account, (debit card).

debins	08 Sep 2002
They accept checks or money orders denominated in U.S. dollars as payment for most orders, WITH THE FOLLOWING EXCEPTIONS, WHICH MUST BE PAID BY CREDIT CARD AND CHECK CARD: 1-Click orders Cell phones and service Computers E-books Downloadable software Orders for gift certificates Orders from Amazon Marketplace, Auctions and zShops sellers Also, cheques must be paid on a U.S. bank. ATM cards, so long as they are connected with one of the major credit card companies listed above. For Americans, only. My question wasn't about debt; I don't have credit card debt anymore. It was about having to have a card. I am interested in hearing from those who do business over the phone or over the net...can they do it without electronic transfering?

jade	08 Sep 2002
i do business thru the net and i use paypal, cheques or money orders. (as well as money transfers thru the bank) in light, jade

debins	08 Sep 2002
Excellent. That's what I wanted to know. Thanks!

Kaz	08 Sep 2002
thats only coz you are living on north america continent. we here in europe cannot paypal unless we have a credit card. non american checking/bank accounts are not accepted. so, for us here, we need them plastics to buy stuff from elsewhere. kaz

debins	08 Sep 2002
This is also the kind of info. I was looking for for.

The Money: What to teach your children thread was originally posted on 01 Sep 2002 in the Chat board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Chat, or read more archived threads.