My buddy may be getting married!

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 20 Sep 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Frequency	20 Sep 2002
I'm in such a good mood now :) I was talking to him earlier, and I realised that I hadn't done any tarot readings for him yet with my new deck so I asked him if he wanted to hear some. Anyway... I started with a general paradox reading, and I was confused because his past told me he was in love, he is still in love, but he didn't think he should be. Apparently, he loves this girl, but she is married. He wanted to tell her how he felt about her but of course, that's not exactly an easy thing to do. Since she was married he didn't want to impose. Instead, he figures he can sleep around with her. *shakes head* He knows that's not exactly the coolest thing to be doing, but he's doing it anyway. I told him he should just let it out. I got the 'courage' card for him. It means he wants to do something, and he knows he has to do it, but it's frightning because he doesn't know what the outcome will be. He's going to tell her how he feels about her. The good news is that I did a reading for her, that I didn't tell him about, that says she isn't happy in the relationship. She wants to be with him. They're both being blinded by their morality instead of being honest with themselves. Long story short... I am 100% positive that if this guy tells her how he feels, she may get a divorce for him. If she doesn't it's really sad because I know she wants to be with him. I sort of want to tell him how she feels about him but I don't think I should. If I do, and he starts bugging her about it, she may just get ticked off. I think him telling her is good enough. What do you think?

Diana	20 Sep 2002
Frequency: My advice is not to mess around in other people's love lives. Relationships are complicated things - they are full of ramifications that one cannot see or guess at. You can't be 100% positive about anything, by the way. And love can be confused with passion. If he wants a reading from you, that's different. He's taking responsibility for it. But your doing a reading for the girl without her knowing it and then telling him about it, sounds unwise to me. To put it very bluntly - but certainly with no unkindness meant - mind your own business. Osho Zen is a strange deck. Sometimes we ask questions about one thing, and actually it answers questions about something completely different. All Tarot decks do this, but Osho loves to pull the wool over our eyes. Are you sure that the reading you did was about the girl, and not about the match-making you are trying to do? You've got a great deck there. Congratulations!

wavebreaker	20 Sep 2002
I don't think you should tell him either. You gave them both a reading and it's up to them what they do with the advice you've given them. If they don't do anything with it, that's their choice, you can't make that decision for them. I think it's also a matter of confidentiality: personally I don't think it's right to tell anybody else but the querent about a reading you've done. If the querent wants to talk about the reading to someone else, that's up to them, but I don't think it's right for the reader to share information from a reading with third parties. Edited to add: I assumed you did a reading for the girl because she asked for one. However, if you did the reading without her knowing about it, that would be even more reason for you not to say anything.

Poetlove	20 Sep 2002
It is a hard thing to see a buddy in love and to know that there is so much trouble going on. Give him time to figure it out. There is no way to see how the female will react.

Bella	20 Sep 2002
I have to agree with Diana on this one. Stay out of it--especially because the woman is married. As someone who has been divorced twice (of necessity), I'll tell you, even for the best of reasons, it's still a horrible thing to do. If your friend pushes her to start thinking about divorce, and she actually does it, there is still no guarantee that things will work out between them. So now she's made a mess of her life--over what may be just a passion or infatuation. If she really doesn't want a divorce after all, she will eventually dissolve this friendship with your friend. After all, she did marry the other guy... And...if he really loves her, he wouldn't be sleeping with her and messing with her head. If she's in an unhappy marriage, he's just confusing the issue (and she's guilty too, she shouldn't be sleeping around either). IF (big IF) they are meant to be together, it will work itself out without your saying anything. Please believe me on this...

Kazz	20 Sep 2002
can i ask a really dumb question?? How is it, that your buddy maybe getting married? (the title of the thread) Cheers Kazz :TQC

Pollux	20 Sep 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Frequency The good news is that I did a reading for her, that I didn't tell him about, that says she isn't happy in the relationship. She wants to be with him. They're both being blinded by their morality instead of being honest with themselves. I sort of want to tell him how she feels about him but I don't think I should. If I do, and he starts bugging her about it, she may just get ticked off. I think him telling her is good enough. What do you think? The matter is, in the first place, simply one of Tarotical Ethics: talking to a THIRD person about a reading. My friend, the answer is simply NO! *LOL* Of course sometimes that might not be a problem, especially if the querent is aware and positive that you talk about it, and knows. But I don't like the idea anyway. And, in addition, pure though their feelings may be, as Diana says, relationships are trippy and should only involve the couple. Furthermore, that doesn't seem to be the average Corn Flakes situation, she's married and she sleeps out... Mh... In addition, not only you will get involved in something that does not concern you personally, but you will also involve tarot cards, ouch... I think there is something wiser you could. :) Also because Tarot Cards have got an inherent ambiguity, and you cannot be sure 100%. You could not justify this belief to their face, just by playing "Osho says". :) And you might have affected the reading, by your point of view. You cannot be so sure of the perespective you are seeing that through. What you have doe so far is so very good! You helped them both dig deep within, and see what they want. Nowe it is up to the to take charge, and make a decision. :)

Frequency	20 Sep 2002
I did a tarot reading of the girl about him to see how she felt for him. I didn't want to tell him to go after her if she didn't love him. I just gave him simple advice. You're holding something back, you should say it, and then see what happens. He filled me in on the rest of it and the reading started to make sense.

The My buddy may be getting married! thread was originally posted on 20 Sep 2002 in the Chat board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Chat, or read more archived threads.