Rule Brittania!!! *V.funny*

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 16 Sep 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Kiama	16 Sep 2002
Got emailed this today... Thought you guys would appreciate the laugh! Very proud to be British because... Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke. Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink. NOT TO MENTION... 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts. 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of srewdrivers. 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate. British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents. 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet. 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth. A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth. 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars. and finally......... In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the loo RULE BRITANNIA!!

Phoenix	16 Sep 2002
Sadly enough, all of those apply to North Americans too. Funny, though!

Diana	16 Sep 2002
Oh Kiama, and just today I was telling my husband how I long to live in England. I'd better not show him this thread! :D

the hermit	16 Sep 2002
Cool! Before long y'all will be catchin' up with us 'Mericans :D

catlin	20 Sep 2002
Hi Kiama, Do British also sell microovens with a sticker on it not to put your poodle in it for cooking?

Pollux	20 Sep 2002
Quote: Originally posted by Kiama Only in Britain... ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke. ...do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts. 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate. British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents. 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet. ...In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the loo Oh my god... too funny. For the Cheeseburger thing... that's it: my sister myst be a Brit in disguise, I always suspected that... *LOL* :D The pins and hospitals ad toys things are too funny, I can't believe it... *LOL*

truthsayer	20 Sep 2002
please forgive my ingnorance but...what is cracker pulling? what is a scalextric car? don't feel alone, kaima. the more we think we're all different that more alike we actually are. ;)

fairyhedgehog	20 Sep 2002
Scalectrix car is a small electic car that goes round on a track and you can race them against each other. Crackers are tubes of decorated paper or card, with a 'snap', a hat and a present inside. Two people pull it apart by holding an end each, and whoever gets the larger part of the cracker gets the toy inside. I've no idea what you call them in the States :)

ChrisZ	20 Sep 2002
Wow yeah, the cheeseburger one...and why would anyone wanna buy a diet coke anyway? They taste so much worse than a normal coke...Living in England is cool, as long as you can get to a city (I live in a village and it kinda sux), and have friends nearby...and everything is much more expensive in England than on the continent, which annoys me so much...

Macavity	21 Sep 2002
Quote: Originally posted by fairyhedgehog Scalectrix car is a small electic car that goes round on a track and you can race them against each other. Ah Yes: The }) 's device! Huh? It goes RIGHT round the track, as in without exiting at the first curve, colliding with a fence, friends hand etc.? For a WHOLE circuit? Y'mean Ya got TWO of the b*?"$£ - Oops... Cars to do all that and at the same time? Heheh ;) It spends 20 years or so in a cupboard - uhm closet, only to be "rediscovered" when moving home? Aaargh... Be afraid, be VERY afraid :D Thanks for some great memories and to KIAMA for some very accurate observations! Macavity. That reminds me... my cousin STILL has mine and my *Meccano* set :mad:

Eyes of Night	21 Sep 2002
Quote: Originally posted by fairyhedgehog Scalectrix car is a small electic car that goes round on a track and you can race them against each other. I don't understand how they work. If they are what I think they are, how are they fun. They only go one speed and if you have a better car, wouldn't you atomatically win? (Are scalectrix the little cars that seem stuck to the race track?)

ChrisZ	21 Sep 2002
Yeah, and u get this little hand-held control with a press-down lever. The harder u press the lever, the faster ur car goes, but go to fast and it goes crazy and flies off the track...Cars can also crash into each other at crossroads where the cars switch tracks...Having a better car doesn't come into it, it doesn't make a difference, only looks different...

The Rule Brittania!!! *V.funny* thread was originally posted on 16 Sep 2002 in the Chat board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Chat, or read more archived threads.