Silly stories to make you laugh

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 08 Sep 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

debins	08 Sep 2002
What silly things have you done? Today, while opening a screw-top wine bottle I was reminded of how I used to open corked wine bottles right through the foil seal. I would just insert the corkscrew through the foil into the cork and proceed to uncork. One day, I didn't realize that some "vintners" were beginning to use screw top where they used to use corks. So while chatting to guests I proceeded with my silly process and then suddenly became aware of how easily the corkscrew went in. I looked ever so gauche with my corkscrew driven through a screw cap while guests looked on with utter amazement.

Phoenix	08 Sep 2002
I was calling my brother one night, around 10 PM, to pick up the phone. When I called out, I said "Chris...Supper" But of course it wasn't supper. I felt really dumb.

truthsayer	08 Sep 2002
i can't believe i'm going to share this silly story. at the time i was just 20. i was so painfully humilated that i didn't laugh at all. i didn't want anyone else to laugh either!! i went on a class trip to washington, dc. we had just finished a boat trip down the potomac to george washington's old home. we were standing around in the parking lot eating fried chicken and talking. first you have to know i was EXTREMELY NAIVE for 20. i also couldn't pronounce heimlich manuveur correctly. i choked on a piece of chicken and started coughing. everybody started patting me on the back and asking me if i needed the heimlich maneveur. in the excitement, i slipped up and said,"i'm ok. i don't need the hymen manuveur." then one of the chaparones said,"hymen manuveur? would you like me to demonstrate?" well, everyone but me was rolling around laughing on the ground. at first i didn't understand what was so funny UNTIL my then boyfriend explained to me what a hymen is. i was so embarrassed that i just wanted the earth to swallow me up. of course, no one let me live that one down!! at the time, i couldn't laugh at myself. i gained a sense of humor since then. the story is funny to me now. ;) })

pentunen	09 Sep 2002
Several years ago I was a major telephone addict - I'd spend literally 4-8 hours a day chatting with my friends on the phone. (This is before I discovered the internet ;)) I had a boyfriend (Rob) at the time, and naturally I called him every day, literally. It got to the point where I could quite probably dial his phone number in my sleep. One day I decided I hadn't talked to my brother Karl in a while, so I rang him up. "Hello?" "Hi. May I please speak to Karl?" "...uh. This isn't Karl's number. This is Rob's number." ".... Oops. Bye." I'd gotten so used to calling Rob up that I'd automatically dialled his number :O *wince* That one had me cringing for a very long time :p - LittleCub

wavebreaker	09 Sep 2002
I already posted mine in a previous thread... :D

Kazz	09 Sep 2002
My car had been in the mechanics for a couple of days and so my flat mate lent me her car. It hadn't been driven for a while as she had a company car. A few friends and I were headed to a niteclub in Sydney straight from work, so we were all dolled up when we left the office. We all had our own cars and were to meet at the niteclub. As I got to the toll booths on the Harbour Bridge, the car stalls, I couldn't believe it! I couldn't get it started and so I had to get out and tell a booth guy to ring a tow truck (meanwhile there was alot of very mad taxi drivers yelling abuse at me to move the car). Finally a truck came, and it was a huge semi trailer type truck, which winced the car up on it's tray, I had to climb a ladder to get into the cabin of the truck. The guys asked where I wanted the car to go, and I said anywhere and if they could direct me to the niteclub that I was to be at. The guys said "we can do better than that, we will take you to the door". Oh I thought ..Great.. We arrived at the niteclub, a huge crowd out the front, then I thought I have to get down the ladder backwards. As I was going down the ladder, the wind got under my skirt and lifted it up over my head and I was wearing a G string!!!! When I got to the ground the crowd cheered and clapped (I have never been so embarrased) and I was let into the niteclub for free. (probably because I supplied the entertainment..LOL) This story was told at my wedding reception years later by the MC (I had no idea he would do that) and I was embarrased all over again! Cheers Kazz :TQC

Violet Gargoyle	09 Sep 2002
One of many embarrassing moments: In high school, I would style my hair so that it made my head approxamatly one big permed circle hair halo. This required a curling iron. One day, I dropped the curling iron- and it burnt my neck, for the first few days it looked like this huge hickey (lovebite) that covered the left side on my neck. Now, at the time my best friend was having a trist with a man ten years oldeand so she happened to get a hickey the same week that I burnt my neck, and both of us ended up wearing turtlenecks and covering up alot of facts.

Kiama	10 Sep 2002
Well, this was on my last drinking spree, last Thursday night... Me and my friend Emma P, were quite tipsy, and went outside to try and find her mate who we were meeting there... We were waiting by the door, and two blokes wlaked out. One was blonde, and was really cute, so I proceeded to say very loudly things like 'Wouldn't kick him outta bed!' and 'Nice bum', aswell as some things I cannot post here cuz they're far too obscene. Anyway, I had to go to work the next morning, and where I work is in a restaurant that is attached to thepub we drank at, and a Travel Inn where people sleep. It was breakfast, and I was waiting by the reception desk, and along came two business men, who Isat down at a table, and started taking their order... When suddenly, I realised that they were the blokes I had previously shouted obscene comments to... I burst ot laughing, and had to walk away and compose myself, befor gong back tehre and finishing their order! Kiama

Poetlove	10 Sep 2002
Alright, I'll share...... When I was about 10 or 11, my Dad had a girlfriend over for dinner. We lived with my Grandmother, and my little brother. There were only 4 regualr chairs, and I had to sit on the step stool... I went to take a drink of milk and the stool colasped under me........... Everyone was laughing The great thing was, I didn't spill any milk.

Bella	10 Sep 2002
Kazz--yours was sooo funny!!! Hey, at least you got in for free. I have a lot of embarrassing moments...here's one... I have a bad habit of locking myself out of my apartment. Luckily, I'm on the first floor, but my windows are high off the ground, maybe six feet or so. So one day I locked myself out. I found a lawn chair outside and stood on it to climb in my kitchen window. It wasn't high enough. Of course, now my dogs are barking inside and my daughter, who is outside with me, is laughing...attracting attention. My next door neighbor comes up the walk and offers to help. He's around my age, maybe a bit younger, single, and really tall and skinny. While I'm not fat, my bottom is... um...well padded. Of course, I was wearing a tight skirt that day. So I get back on the chair, and get my top half onto the window sill, then I'm pretty much stuck, cause I can't reach the chair anymore to push myself. To help me get in, my neighbor gives me a boost...by pushing up on the most logical part that was still outside the window...my butt. Well, I got in, but every time I see him, I still blush. but hey, at least I was wearing underwear ;)!

jade	10 Sep 2002
my younger friend just left a relationship and he has been, well, sleepng around. he realized that he would wake up the next morning not knowing where he was or who he was with.........so now, during the evening he's writing her name on his cigarette package.......so that in the morning he can peak and call her by name. ;) jade :P

lunalafey	11 Sep 2002
well there was the time we searched my mother's house high and low looking for (visiting) grandma's cat. All three of us (here kitty kitty kitty)double checked every room, under every bed (here Kitty!!!) behind every box, the dryer(he actually did like that spot)..Everywhere. Right before panic would hit grandma. I gave one last look under the bed in the guest room.... nothing stored under the bed. Floor is clear, BUT...there was a droop in the lining of the box spring, I rubbed it and it began to shudder with a stretch...Ollie had found a hammock and drifted away to a place not even an electric can opener would penetrate....

Kazz	11 Sep 2002
[quote]Originally posted by Bella Kazz--yours was sooo funny!!! Hey, at least you got in for free.[quote] I can laugh now ......and I must say I was quite popular that night:D...I didn't get home til 5.30am. Quote: I wish now that I was more covered in that "area" instead of feeling like I had a bad wedgey and half naked. Cheers Kazz :TQC

WolfSpirit	16 Sep 2002
Oooohhh, this is such a funny thread !! At night I always call my cats to come in. Silly me, I don't call them by their actual name but I always shout (well used to) something like: Come on in, pretty boy... My neighbours are not pretty boys but one of them must have had one visiting because I saw someone looking at me curiously. Well at least it was not an insult ;)

DarkElectric	16 Sep 2002
When I first moved into my condo, It was with my dog, Myles. There is a spooky old abandoned carriage house directly across from my place. The last thing I would do before I went to sleep was take pup out, and that carriage house always scared me at night. Well, what I didn't know, was that owls were nesting in there. I'm a suburban girl, and had never heard an owl up close and personal. So one night I'm taking the dog out, and one of the owls started hooting. Really loud. I was so scared I started running, dragging my poor dog back into the building with me. I didn't realise he was peeing. He left a trail all the way into the building. Some neighbors saw the whole thing, and were laughing their faces off. I was panicked, and started babbling, "Something is out there." One guy just looked at me as if I was from Mars, and said, "It's an owl..." and they all started laughing again. I was soooooooo embarrassed. And of course, I had to clean up the pee...

truthsayer	16 Sep 2002
dark electric, that story about your dog is hilarious! made me think of something funny and outrageous my 5 month old kitten did today. pepper weighs around 5 lbs. the dog--major--is medium sized and weighs around 35 lbs. pepper and major are great friends and both boys. they even sleep and eat together. the older cats prefer to ignore both of them. i'll try to make this rated "G". pepper has reached "puberty" for a cat. he is coming to his sexual maturity in a very strange way. today he was trying out his "moves" on the dog's neck. he kept trying and trying to get the right "hold" to make major "cooperate". i kept pulling him off major but he went back to business until i finallygave him a cold shower w/ a water gun. poor major was squealing in pain! i had to save him from this ferocious five pound fury!!!!!! to major's credit he never tried to hurt pepper. i was so afraid he'd kill my kitten but he's so tolerant. way past most dogs. it certainly is in major's power to hurt pepper. but it seems that major is very intimidated by pepper. it beat the He** out of me!! thank the powers that be that i had the foresight to schedule him for neutering next week. i shudder to think i have a bi-species homosexual cat. ;) }) }) say a prayer that poor major makes it until then!!

The Silly stories to make you laugh thread was originally posted on 08 Sep 2002 in the Chat board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Chat, or read more archived threads.