How to deal with energy vampires?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 30 Jan 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

catlin	30 Jan 2002
Guess some of you will know the kind of ppl who run to you to complain about the problems they have, they consume hours of your time to tell you how bad the world is, etc. in short, when they have left you, you feel drained and you ask yourself what did you get from this visit apart that they have chewed on your mind? How do you keep them off? Do you tell them bluntly that you are fed up with their self-made problems and that you have also your business to mind to or do you support patiently their endless chatter?

Diana	30 Jan 2002
Quote: catlin (30 Jan, 2002 23:12): .How do you keep them off? Do you tell them bluntly that you are fed up with their self-made problems and that you have also your business to mind to or do you support patiently their endless chatter? Some people can get through any kind of defence barriers one builds up, and can be very destructive to those around them. If the person is really too energy draining, my advice would be definitely, defifinitely, not to support their endless chatter patiently. It's hypocritical and even worse, one is not being honest with oneself. Tell them bluntly or not bluntly. That is the question. I suppose it depends if one wants to continue a relationship with the person or not. Perhaps to start off not bluntly, but if that doesn't make any difference, bluntly?? I have had to cut myself off completely from two people who I actually liked rather a lot, but who were unable to change their negative attitudes, and who were awful for my mental health. Sometimes I miss them for the good qualities they had, but I wouldn't ever take up my friendship again with them. Too risky. Good luck!

Jeanette	30 Jan 2002
Get away from these people, you can be kind, but be firm! They will eventually drag you down. I used to have a neighbor, she was much older than I was. She didn't drive, and since I was home with my baby we became friendly and I offered to take her along shopping and such. Well, she would complain so much about her husband that I started seeing her complaints as my own about my husband! I would come home and be aggravated with him for things he hadn't even done. I realized what was happening and stopped seeing her, and eventually just cut it off completely. These kind of people are usually bitter about something, and you know "misery loves company" so they want you to be miserable and commiserate with them. GET AWAY and STAY AWAY but try to be nice about it if you can. These people are usually hurting enough.

jade	30 Jan 2002
clarity, truth and honesty. in light, jade

truthsayer	31 Jan 2002
my experience w/ psychic vampires is that most don't have a clue what they are doing to other ppl. they are generally so wrapped up in their own world of misery and self-pity that it's hard to for them to recognize that other ppl have a life and don't have time. first thing i'd suggest is learn how to read the symptoms that someone drains energy from others. the biggest warning is a lack of interest in anything you have to say and constant refocusing on whatever their problem is. the vicious cycle they are in is usually self imposed b/c they refuse to change something about themself or their life. after knowing someone and you can detect no attempts at change or improvement then back off. you can shield yourself emotionally if you know how. imagine a psychic shield between you and the other person. don't feed the person by continuing to add to the conversation. if they ask if you are listening just say you don't want to be rude but you are very busy and leave it at that. if you don't feed the energy drain then they won't have a reason to hang around and will eventually leave. learn some good conversation enders. there are some great books on how to take control of pointless conversations. i can't think of the name of the book right now but i will find out and let you know. deborah tannen has done some books on communication skills but this isn't the ones i'm thinking out. there is also one out on how to handle difficult ppl which has some great insight. the main thing is keep yourself focused and your emotions totally closed to the person. a good offense is always better than being on the defensive. sorry you are having this problem. i've definitely walked a few thousand miles in your shoes. :'(

catlin	31 Jan 2002
Hi friends, Thanks for your feed-back. I signalled both enery vampires that I am pretty busy with my stuff and so far none of them has reappeared. Hope this will last.

Scorpion	31 Jan 2002
Hi, Catlin! My experiences are pretty much the same as Truthsayer's. I agree entirely that these people rarely know what they're doing. My view is that they have what I can only describe as an emotional vortex which will suck you in unless you are wary. They have "hooks" to get your attention - usually surfaces as an attempt for the sympathy vote: "look at me, isn't my life awful" and of course you fall for it. Who wouldn't? And yes, they never listen to you or show any real interest in your life. I have come to the conclusion that they home in on what they perceive as another's happiness and, having no means of building it up in themselves, have some sort of belief that they can syphon off some of your positive energy - not realising that it will only be fleeting and then they will feel the need for more: hence the "vampire effect". Strangely, they often come across as well-meaning and would do anything for anybody. Ten years ago I shared an office with a particularly difficult example of the breed (proudly announced she was a certified schizophrenic to boot!). Now I can spot them before they enter the building! My main tactic is to avoid: when I had to spend a couple of weeks near our resident "poor me", I got to the point where I wouldn't even exchange basic pleasantries with her (eg - good w/e?). If forced, I would be quite sarky. A classic example of the not being interested in anyone else's life except to prove theirs is worse, a friend dropped by to fill me in on her husband's condition (he had been particularly ill) but we were interrupted by tales of how her "other half" (with whom she'd finished "forever" a couple of days before in front of me - not for the first time, apparently) was recovering from some very minor surgery! We were having a private conversation, for Pete's sake! My refusal to get involved sent her bowling down to another colleague's desk where she would park her backside and pin her listener in place. Eventually, this colleague stopped giving sympathy and advice which was never acted on and just half-listened, saying what she knew was required of her. I gather the contact has tailed off to a large extent. Maybe you could take that line? Your energy is too valuable to waste on emotional vampires. You need it and they need to learn to create their own. One good thing I've noticed, they tend to get a new "best friend" every six months or so, once they're drained the last one.

melikka	01 Feb 2002
the only reason that you feel drained is because you take it on and the reason for that is that these people have something to show you (about yourself), even though this might seem unlikely to you. the only way we can learn anything about ourselves is by looking in the mirror (the world around us). You cannot see yourself but the people around you can see you. the only way of seeing youself is by looking in the mirror. start seeing the people around you as your mirror and you will come to know alot about yourself. remember the only reason we can get annoyed with anyone is because we recognize the way they're behaving in ourselves. (it takes one to know one). there are many excercises that you could do to block these energies, but why not get to the cause of it, yourself. after all the reason why we are here is to learn about ourselves. (this is only a point of view from my reality don't forget, but I hope it can give you a look at things from a different perspective.)

Diana	01 Feb 2002
Quote: melikka (01 Feb, 2002 22:55): the only reason that you feel drained is because you take it on and the reason for that is that these people have something to show you (about yourself), even though this might seem unlikely to you. Melikka : What you're saying is very wise, but I think when it comes to Energy Vampires, this is not the case. The people that Catlin are describing are not people who are showing you anything about yourself. They are narcissic people who only show a mirror up to themselves, and who use people around them for their own selfish motives. But I do agree with you that one can learn a lot from the mirror effect we have from people.

truthsayer	01 Feb 2002
Quote: LouiQ (01 Feb, 2002 08:20): Hi, Catlin! My experiences are pretty much the same as Truthsayer's. I agree entirely that these people rarely know what they're doing. My view is that they have what I can only describe as an emotional vortex which will suck you in unless you are wary. They have "hooks" to get your attention - usually surfaces as an attempt for the sympathy vote: "look at me, isn't my life awful" and of course you fall for it. Who wouldn't? And yes, they never listen to you or show any real interest in your life. I have come to the conclusion that they home in on what they perceive as another's happiness and, having no means of building it up in themselves, have some sort of belief that they can syphon off some of your positive energy - not realising that it will only be fleeting and then they will feel the need for more: hence the "vampire effect". Strangely, they often come across as well-meaning and would do anything for anybody. louiQ, you and i could really talk! you are one of the few ppl i've ever shared this w/ that had similar experiences and knew how to handle it. i used to work as a counselor. i must have a homing beam for energy vampires b/c i could barely get my work doen w/o someone would arrive in a crisis. i got so exhausted down to my spirit that i became physically ill and had to quit my job. it wasn't just the clients. i think the staff of so-called professionals were sicker than the clients!!!!! *******truth throws her hands up into the air in exasperation!!!!!!!!!!********* i've been basically taking care of myself and recovering from that experience the past 3 years. i can handle an energy vampire here and there but i was one woman trying to hold back a tidal surge!! when i return to the job market i will be applying the things i have learned from that experience. another thing to keep in mind is whether you are an introvert or extrovert. extroverts are energized by being involved w/ others. introverts are drained by ppl encounters. they regain energy by downtime alone. i am definitely an introvert and have learned to respect that i have limited energy to put out w/o an equal amount of time alone. if you are an extrovert and generally energized by others yet are still drained by these ppl,you definitely are in the presence of an energy vampire. thanks for bringing this up, catlin! wonderful therapeutic chat!

Malachite	02 Feb 2002
Being a bit of an energy vamp myself, I can tell you what they want to hear... Flatter them for 30 seconds and they're fine for at least a few hours.... Flattering them for more than half an hour could possibly lead to a potential health risk... balance it where you feel comfortable, and stop when you decide, not them....

Scorpion	02 Feb 2002
Quote: louiQ, you and i could really talk! Truthsayer, I really feel for you - I imagine working as a counsellor brings in a lot of emotional vampires. It's not just a moth to a candle - you're shining a great 5000w beam and because it's your job you can't switch off or walk away. As for professionals being sicker than patients - I agree entirely, but that is very definitely another story! Unfortunately, I also know how long it takes to recover once you've been dragged down so far. I hope your radar is well tuned now and you'll spot them like I do - mind you, it wasn't an easy 2 weeks with our resident EV: I couldn't decide whether to give in and let her bore me to tears or keep up the barricades - either was pretty exhausting! As for your extrover/introvert point - I consider myself an extrovert (with a hint of introvert when I want to be!) but I see what you're saying! Don't forget to go out there in full armour when you do resurface - don't even let them spot a chink! Malachite: I'll bear it in mind - if I can stop as long as 30 seconds around our resident EV!!!

catlin	04 Feb 2002
Thanks again for all your feed-back! I fully agree that this type of person with whom many of us had made bad expieriences is selfish and egocentric. Guess I have to develop a warning system to detect them before they manage to gnaw on my soul.

Scorpion	04 Feb 2002
Caitlin, Yes, preferably spot them coming! Secondly, no matter how hard it is, don't let them make you feel guilty for shutting them out!!! I'm waiting for ours to find out that I am doing lunchtime readings at work - she happened to walk by one day when I was opening a new deck and immediately demanded a reading. I declined, saying I was only doing it as meditation for myself and I was still learning (as I will always be, of course!). Of course, if I want to help people with my readings, this is exactly the sort of person I should be reading for - on the surface. She has huge problems and if you didn't know any better you'd think she has a terrible life. I know that if I give in, it will be hundreds of phone calls, e-mails, visits to my desk (literally - I once made the mistake in showing a vague interest in something she advertised), demands for readings practically every day etc etc. I might cope if I thought any advice would be taken or any notice of what the cards were saying, but I am not prepared to do it because I know the cost. If I ever do agree to do it, I will make it plain that I am a Tarot reader (not "new best friend", counsellor, confidante and mug) and that I get paid for doing it on a time basis!

catlin	05 Feb 2002
Hi LouiQ, That is exactly the point I have to come to!!! The funny thing is, although I am a person who seems to be capable to know how to use ellbows, until now such vampires managed to sneak somehow through and caught me with their pleas for help. At least I found out that they never want to change their situation for fear of losing one means of gaining attention. Thanks again for all your help and valuable support!!

Scorpion	05 Feb 2002
You're welcome Catlin! Yep - watch out for the pleas for help (very hard to resist) but also be on the lookout for flattery - another easy hook (ours tried the thinly veiled "you must know more than my consultant about my relative's cancer because you know someone with it"! - while I have some sympathy, I knew I had to shut it down in two e-mails flat). Don't forget, if you ever find yourself "going under" again there's plenty of us here to put you back on track! Remember - EVs don't really care about YOU, it's your energy they want to milk.

catlin	06 Feb 2002
Yesterday evening e-vamp. No. 1 popped up when I was in my local book shop checking for new tarot stuff. She even did not bother to greet me properly but started immediately with trying to tell me how bad her current situation is, etc and why I did not call her! I just cut her short and told her that I had my proper business to look after and that I am pretty fed up with her energy vampirism and her selfmade problems. You should have seen the face she made! She then tried to tell me that her problems were due to her disturbed mental health (b/w she is just that type of person who suffers from everything she had ever heard about) but I told her bluntly that I am not willing to listen any longer to her imagined problems because she cultivated them to gain ppl attention and that this statement were not only my proper observation but also a matter other ppl had realized. Gosh, she was even so stubborn not to realize how impatient I grew. Unfortunaltely, she still has the key to my flat (ok, she looked after my cats when I was in hospital but she got the Celtic Dragon set for it from me, wasn't that enough?) but I asked her to bring it to my working place today (until now she has not showed up). I hope this unpleasent thing will finally come to an end.

Diana	06 Feb 2002
Oh Catlin, I do hope this'll all be over soon. If she doesn't give you back your key, just change the lock, okay? I think you did well to be honest with yourself and tell her what you thought. Of course, I doubt she'll have listened to a word you said though, except for the fact that you've rejected her. If she starts insulting you, just don't get too het up, okay? She's a wierdo - leave her to it. I'm right behind you!!!

catlin	06 Feb 2002
Ok, got my key back a few minutes ago. She also gave me a several pages long letter and I am not sure if it is worth reading and answering it (depends on my mood). Guess the best thing is not to answer it as it might lead again into the vampirism trap.

Diana	06 Feb 2002
Read it? You probably won't resist. Answer it? Go to the movies instead. Take it easy!

Kiama	06 Feb 2002
Read it by all means (I probably would!) then burn it! And have fun doing it! I have to sit next to an e-vamp during Philosophy classes, and I have to work with her all Saturday night and all Sunday morning... An not only is she an energy vamp, she has absolutely no respect for other people and their opinions or points of view. (Her favourite phrase during Philosophy debates is "Your opinion is not valid".) This girl even bad mouths the Philosophy teacher to her face! And, of course, she catches every single illness there is going round, and a few that aren't, and her life is *so* terrible and she's *so* hard done by... (What with all that money her parents give her, and clothes they buy her, and driving lessons they paid for...) Here's me, working my ass off just to scrape together enough money to get a decent flat with my boyf when I go to University, and buying all my own clothes, books for school, everything except meals... It just makes me wanna strangle her sometimes! I know how difficult it is to get rid of these people, Catlin. I find it vey difficult to just turn around to this girl and tell her I'm tired of her complaints and moans. Her attitude is that the world owes her a living, and anyone who so much as breaths a word against her should die! Am I scared? Yes I'm scared! I know its stupid, but I think I can put up with her. I usually just blank her out or smile and nod, thinking about something totally different.... Anyway, I'm aware that I have rambled on to much.... Kiama

purplelady	06 Feb 2002
Truthsayer, I agree with most all you've said. This topic reminds me of an EV I encountered a couple of years back. She was a good friend of a good friend, and I was put in the awkward position of being expected to be friends with her. We would visit her home , or she would visit mine. When I tried to engage her in any conversation I was interested in , she would just stare blankly ahead , waiting for her opportunity for her Real interest- spending the whole evening complaining about her neighbors who were all b****'s, OR complaining about the people in her children's lives. One evening I spent talking to her daughter the whole time about computers, one of my main interests. The next time we went to EV's house she let me have it with everyone there too, listening. She accused me of not picking up the phone when she called (not true at the time) and not wanting to be her friend. She then informed me that she wanted to go out to dinner with me at least once a week and be good friends. She was quite an extroverted person , and I am very much an introvert! After that , when she pushed for me to come over, I E mailed her telling her exactly what I thought! Basically that I wasn't interested in hearing her call her neighbors a b**** every other sentence, and that I had other interests she apparently didn't share! LouiQ, EV Was known as a "person who would do anything for you"! Ironically , one of the complaints in her ongoing repetoire was about another woman who called EV EveryDay for a month and cried to her for 2 hours everyday about her problums. I couldn't help thinking, well , if you really didn't want to hear this person Daily, then why pick up the phone and listen everyday and then complain about it to everyone else! What , are we supposed to think you are some kind of saint? There probubly IS a bit of a mirror of the self going on there! I know I have friends who I tell my complaints to also, but at least I think there's a give and take there.

Scorpion	06 Feb 2002
Oh Catlin - I was hoping you'd get some respite before having to dive back in there! OK - you took a brilliant stand against her - I'm not sure that I'm that brave (but then I do have to work with ours from time to time)! She has responded with classic EV behaviour - instead of backing off and taking your points, she's produced a long letter to hook you with. Of course I expect you to read it - I don't think many of us could resist. It's probably also not a good idea - there'd just be another and another until you felt trapped by her attention. I also suspect you will respond, and again, if you don't you will just get pestered. It's about control. I believe the best course is for you to take it. I would read the letter and make the shortest response possible - and one that doesn't leave her room for manoeuvre. Perhaps "I note what you say, but it doesn't change anything I said" - after all, you've said it so I think you need to keep that line: otherwise she'll take control from you. If you try to respond point by point it'll go on forever. If she mentions her mental health problems, refer her to a professional (sorry Truthsayer, but I believe that's the best place for them). If you can face it, Catlin, you could post the gist of it here and get responses. Or e-mail it to me and I'll knock up a response for you!

Scorpion	06 Feb 2002
Quote: purplelady (07 Feb, 2002 06:23): Ironically, one of the complaints in her ongoing repetoire was about another woman who called EV EveryDay for a month and cried to her for 2 hours everyday about her problums. Purplelady, There is justice! EVs CAN attract EVs!!!

Liliana	06 Feb 2002
Quote: Kiama (07 Feb, 2002 05:47): (What with all that money her parents give her, and clothes they buy her, and driving lessons they paid for...) Here's me, working my ass off just to scrape together enough money to get a decent flat with my boyf when I go to University, and buying all my own clothes, books for school, everything except meals... It just makes me wanna strangle her sometimes! I Kiama This resonates with me, but from her side. You listed enough other stuff about her for me to know the money thing isn't the core problem, but I went through this. I was raised by my grandparents and they gave me 20 dollars every week for allowance, plus food money, thats a lot to a teenager, heck itd be a lot to me now lol. But, my life was terrible. They were emotionally abusive, always putting me down. I was constantly harassedin school my entire life because I was always the biggest in my class, bigger than the boys until high school. I only had a handful of friends, yet everyone said they wished they were me because of the money. I tell you, I happier now, married, and poor, and out of the shadow of my grandparents and peers than I ever was when i was young and could buywhatever i wanted.----

truthsayer	07 Feb 2002
call me strange but i wouldn't have any problem not reading your EV letter. i can sense energy w/ my hands and if i felt it would hurt me to read it, i wouldn't. if she asked if i read it, i'd say i had not b/c nothing she could say would change what i think or make me feel guilty. i'd remind her that i have feelings, too. THE END. if she persists ask her to leave or hangup! i agree that this woman needs a therapist STAT! and don't worry about me louiQ, i'm not working as a counselor anymore. i doubt i can handle ever doing it again. but if i were she sounds so much like some of my former clients that i shudder...so much like a former co-worker i cringe. i'm so happy it'll be some one other than me! i'm changing my vocation! i'm trying to find some kind of work i can do out of my home to limit outside world contact. it's going to take a while but i while find something eventually. folks, i'm out of the EV supplier biz! the store is closed! i am out of business for good.

Kalin	07 Feb 2002
For most of my life I've been an emotional sponge and probably even thought being one was the definition of friendship. I was past forty when I set up a few guidelines for myself and they've been helpful, so just in case they might help someone else, here goes: 1. I'm not much of an outward venter myself (possibly because my subconscious understood how much energy it sucked from the person who had to listen), but at this point in my life I want to at least have a strong sense that my friends would likewise lend an ear and an open heart if I were in need of them. 2. Friendship is an exchange of positive energy as well, so I now expect that the friend who comes to me in times of trouble and sorrow will also share joy. If the only time you see someone is when they need a shoulder and a considerable chunk of your time and energy, yet you hear about them having perfectly wonderful and fun times elsewhere, then you're not a friend, you're a receptacle--they've dumped their unhappiness in the receptacle of you, leaving them free to go off and play with other people (who probably wouldn't tolerate five minutes' worth of the unhappy stuff). I agree with the folks here who posted that this is usually done unconsciously--most of the people who do this kind of thing probably think the world of you and might even list you as their "best" friend, but the point is, they're not yours, and the energy they sap from you is still lost energy. 3. I'll still do 24/7 with a friend in genuine distress if they're genuinely in pursuit of a solution. I'll even listen to a certain amount of venting, but if I start getting the impression that my suggestions toward a solution are being blown off in favor or continued venting, and begin to think my friend isn't ever going to actually DO anything about the problem, and that problem involves a relationship with SOMEONE ELSE, I say something like, "Wow, sounds like you need to be discussing this with your mother/mother in law/significant other/whoever instead of me," or "Sounds like this is really bothering you--you need to get off the phone with me and on the phone with him/her so you can get this resolved RIGHT AWAY. Let me let you go..." Try these, they really do work ;) Kalin

Malachite	07 Feb 2002
Kalin:...re:2.. SECONDED!!!!!

truthsayer	07 Feb 2002
you guys remind me of how i cured my mother of being more an energy vampire than she is today. for years, she'd call me and talk for hours about impossible dilemnas she had gotten into. for years, i'd make one suggestion after another only for her to reject it or find some way that my idea was also impossible. sometimes i'd get angry at her and snap at her. we wouldn't speak for months--a welcome vacation at the time but eventually we'd get back into the cycle again. finally, i stopped feeding her vicious cycles of impossible situations. i realized the true core of what she was doing was that she was intensely lonely and desperately needed someone to talk to. creating impossible situations was the only way she knew to get my attention. so i rediverted the conversations into something i could deal w/ and ultimately help her deal w/ the loneliness. when she tells me these things i let her have some time to vent then i deliberately feed the situation back to her into some some ridiculous but humorous way. then we set off on a tangent of my preposterous scenario and she starts laughing and cheering up and i get energy back in return. since i've started doing this i've gotten her to tell me things like geneology and what i was like as a child and this gets her mind off herself. she's gotten to the point now that she calls me to get a laugh not just to dump her troubles but it wouldn't have happened if i hadn't made the choice of changing the parameters of the relationship. i don't do this in a mean or unkind or nonvalidating or disrespectful way. i validate to her that i have heard her pain. the last thing i want to do is hurt her even tho i know she is her own worse enemy. i've told her that and it only angers her. by making it humourous i can do the same thing but in a way she can accept and appreciate. i know this prob won't work w/ most EV's but i've found humor to be a wonderful ally. i even use it to end disagreements w/ my husband or if i get upset at myself. the more i can laugh at the ridiculousness of this world the better i feel. it's a fine line between respectful humourous insight and laughing at someone. takes a while and some mea culpas to figure out those fine lines but it's been worth the effort.

tarotbear	08 Feb 2002
Caitlin, what you did was very brave! Remember that script and open it any time the situation presents itself again. Many years ago my partner and I 'divested' ourselves of a certain couple. Each one of them separately was fine, but as a couple they were hard to get along with. If we all went shopping on a Sunday afternoon, you could bet that they would have an argument the whole time and didn't stop. We finally stopped accepting their invitations and stayed away from them for almost three years. Another friend I've known for years is an incessant talker! If you are able to interrupt her, when she gets back into the coversation, she picked up from the exact last word she spoke, as though she was reading from a page! I got tired of being bored to death by this rudeness, and finally found more creative things to do than sit there and listen the hours of non-stop drivel. Sometimes I would pull out a book and read while she was talking. She never got the hint. Kiama, next time Miss-know-it-all says to someone 'Your point is not valid', tell her 'the point is valid, but SHE is not!'

catlin	13 Feb 2002
Hi all, Thanks for your support!!! I still have not read that darn letter because I know it will drip with self-pity and false accusations in the style : "How can you treat me so bad, poor me,...." and frankly speaking, I was not in the mood to spoil the few days I had taken off with that! Better using the time for more profitabel things, eg doing a thorough tarot reading instead of answering a letter which is probabl. not even the paper worth on which it is written on. Maybe some of you will find my words harsh and unjust but I spent five years with this EV and her selfmade problems. She has never made a single attempt to follow one of my multitude of councils I had given her to get out of the mess she was getting in. Besides, I found out that she has also a strong inclination to tell lies or to tell things in a way which suits her best. In short, I think I'll do better to leave this matter as it is.

Butterfly	14 Feb 2002
On a much lighter note, flower essences can be wonderful in these situations. I love Australian Bush Flower Essences (available worldwide though) and the Fringed Violet essence would psychically protect you either through taking it internally twice a day or drawing a cross over your third eye with it. There is probably a corresponding Bach remedy though I don't know these as well

catlin	14 Feb 2002
Hi all, I still did not read this letter and probably I won't do it. I KNOW it will only contain self-pity and false accusations about having turned her down, etc. and I am not in the mood to deal with that because I would be obliged to answer this letter and the whole thing would start again. Guess I will leave this matter now. I saw EV No 2 two days ago on the stairway when I came back from work. I just greeted her and walked upstairs to my flat. She just cast a glance at me which was pretty reproachful as I had also told her some days ago that I have a headache and am not in the mood of talking.

Kiama	15 Feb 2002
Three cheers for Catlin for being brave and getting rid of the EV's!!!!! :) :) :) (((((((((((((((((((Catlin))))))))))))))))))))))) Kiama

Diana	15 Feb 2002
Yes Catlin, three cheers! How long are you planning holding on to that letter, by the way? And goodness, you're not being harsh or unjust. You're being kind and just to yourself, I would say.

Scorpion	15 Feb 2002
Quote: Kiama (15 Feb, 2002 21:23): Three cheers for Catlin for being brave and getting rid of the EV's!!!!! :) :) :) (((((((((((((((((((Catlin))))))))))))))))))))))) Kiama Definitely - you deserve it Catlin! I think you mentioned that you'd suffered one for about 5 years - welcome to freedom!!! And Diana's right - I wouldn't advise holding on to the letter in case you're ever overcome with remorse (unlikely, I know - but EVs exist to try to get our attention). Then if you're ever asked if you read it you can cheerfully say no, you've got better things to do. And you're definitely not being harsh or unjust - just looking after yourself, because EVs certainly won't. Standing ovation from me!!!

The How to deal with energy vampires? thread was originally posted on 30 Jan 2002 in the Spirituality board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Spirituality, or read more archived threads.